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NON-NAOP started in the 70s, and existed from 1972 to 1982. A non-profit organization, its purpose was to “educate the public on non-parenthood as a valid lifestyle option, support those who choose not to have children, promote awareness of the overpopulation problem." It "advocated having no children (or no more than one child) and not having children at all before the age of twenty-one.”

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Wrote Noelle:

>> I prefer to think of it as "blue-blooded alabaster bosom", thank you very much.
>
>Yes, that does sound so much better.
>
>Gutterboy, I believe you owe the blue-blooded and alabaster-bosomed among the CF women an apology... :)

Oh, Lord. A tempest in a C-cup.

Let me clarify.

I was not referring to a beautiful, aristocratic snowy-white bosom, peeking coyly from the top of an elegant lacework bodice in a wink of decolletage.

I WAS referring to a set of dugs sagging out of a T-shirt like mismatched sacks of potatoes, their surfaces covered with prolapsed varicose veins like subcutaneous worms, with a sticky-faced, vacant brat performing aureolaic fellatio on the attached lumpy nipple.

Are we friends again?

Gutterboy

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From the Wall Street Journal, excerpted and annotated -- another exciting dispatch from the world of the frenzied work-life dance:

For millions of toddlers, August is crunch time.

Preschool starts in September, and because of strict no-diaper rules at many schools, toilet training must end.

In Overland Park, Kan., Kerri Heller has until Sept. 2 to toilet-train her 3-year-old son, Jack. Ms. Heller started training in earnest earlier this month, and says she has barely left the house since.

On a Monday, she bought an egg timer and set it to ring every 30 minutes to remind Jack to use the toilet.

[Pavlov Shits!]

Tuesday, her husband got a neighbor to call and impersonate Mike Sweeney, first baseman for the Kansas City Royals, and encourage Jack to keep potty training and be a "good little slugger." Wednesday, Jamie Walker, relief pitcher for the Detroit Tigers (aka Lance Harshbarger, her husband's office colleague), gave similar encouragement. Sammy Sosa (Ms. Heller's father) called Thursday.

[That was the part where I started laughing uncontrollably...]

Jack, a big baseball fan, has bobble-head dolls of two of the players sitting on the sink in the bathroom facing the toilet, as if observing his progress.

[A child that can't drop a deuce without being observed by a representative of
Major League Baseball is being set up for failure.]

"You lose all your inhibitions with this process," says Ms. Heller, who rewards Jack for good performance with M&M's and an occasional trip to Chuck E. Cheese's.

[Does the mouse get to watch, too? Chuck E's In Love!]

Preschool enrollment is rising as more mothers head to work, and finding the right school is an ever more competitive enterprise. Ms. Heller lined up a year-and-a-half ago at 6 a.m. to get Jack into a "pre-preschool" program to help him get into the preschool he's about to attend.

[But of course. Nothing's too good for a sprog who gets phone calls from Sammy Fucking Sosa every time he masters the art of sending the Browns to the Super Bowl.]

Babies used to graduate from diapers at a younger age in the U.S., and still do in some parts of Europe and Asia. People there tend not to make such a big deal of the process, says Kimberly-Clark's Mr. Falk. "Some European cultures don't have a word for toilet training," he says. In rural China, most babies wear underpants with a split in them and quickly learn how to use the toilet.

[Without supportive calls from Chow yun-Fat, no doubt.]

Catherine Haskins understands motivation. Ms. Haskins, who works for a marketing and public-relations firm in Kansas City, Kan., has pompoms in her bathroom to cheer on her daughter, Emma, who will be 3 in December.

["PISS TO THE LEFT!
CRAP TO THE RIGHT!
PINCH THAT LOAF!
TIGHT! TIGHT! TIGHT!
GOOOO EMMA!!!!"]

Gutterboy
wondering how he ever managed the art of continence without the aid of Don
Drysdale or Joe Namath