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The older girls and I have been talking about escaping. Well, not Jill, since she’s a suckup and likes being on The Today Show every time Ma pops out another one, but with Meredith leaving I think our days over there are numbered. Ever since that time we were doing interviews and I accidentally used the word “if” when talking about getting married I’ve been ordered to keep my mouth shut on camera. Ma thinks I should spend more time thinking about Jesus. I pretended she meant Jesus the guy who mows our neighbors’ lawn and sometimes takes his shirt off. If I could ever be by myself for more than thirty seconds at a time, I would definitely think about him. But Jana, Jessa, and I have talked about what we would do if we ran away. Sometimes I think that Ma and Pa would kill our buddy siblings in order to teach us a lesson, but more likely the buddies would die because my parents haven’t taken care of a baby in fifteen years. They even hired someone to paint a baby doll to look like my sister Josie in case she dies and we have to keep the TV show going. Ma wasn’t sure about the idea at first but Pa gave her another one of those yellow pills and then she started talking in her baby robot voice and everything went back to normal.