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My wife (32) and I (30M) both use reddit, so throwaway, and I'm changing some of the details. Wife, if you still recognize this as being about you, know that I'm just doing this because I'm confused and need outside perspective. I love you.

My wife never really had an urge to have children - I did. She knew it was important to me to have children of my own, and I think because of that, she agreed to have kids. It's not that she was outrightly opposed to it - in her words "I could do with or without". So, naturally, a couple of years after marriage, we had children.

Now, ever since our daughter was born, my wife has had a very... hands off approach to raising and caring for the kids. Almost everything from changing their diaper, to feeding them, to playing with them, to teaching them about right from wrong, to cleaning after them, have either been done by me, or by our nanny (when I'm away due to work).

I work as a freelance health and safety inspector for commercial buildings and nursing homes, stuff like that. Just to make sure they comply with legislation and laws, and advise how they can better change. Because of this, I have a lot of time at home, compiling reports, so I have a lot of time with the children. My wife is a writer, and also works from home, and writes almost every day. Despite this, she barely lifts a finger to care for the children, or even interact with them.

I remember so many instances where she has outrightly avoided contact with the children. One such instance was when Daughter was about 3 or 4, and she walked up to Wife and handed her a toy and smiled at her. Wife looked down at the toy, didn't make eye contact with Daughter, got up and walked away.

She doesn't even ask if the kids are okay, or fed, or in bed, or anything. When the nanny is round and she is looking for direction or advice, she always phones me, because wife tells her that she's busy...

So this went on for years. Which I don't mind much, because I love the kids, and I love taking care of them. But then when Daughter reached the age of 5, I remember the discussion which pretty much changed everything between us.

Daughter was eating at the table, and we were talking about some stuff (school stuff, I think). Then she starts telling me about how her friend's mum is really funny, and she always jokes around with them when she picks her up. Then she asks Wife, "Why do you never pick me up from school?"

Wife said that she was busy.

And daughter says "all the time?"

Then wife said 'yes', got up and left the room.

After taking care of the kids and putting them to bed, I cracked open a bottle of wine and talked to my wife. I told her all the above, and told her I was fine if she didn't want to take care of the children, but she had to at least show her love. Then she said that she never really felt like she loved them in the first place.

This was a blow for me. We talked more about this, and she basically said that she never really felt connected to them, and that they were more of just lodgers here than anything else.

This was all surprisingly calm of her. You must understand that my wife isn't an unemotional person, nor is she a bitch. She's a very funny, interesting person, who has shown a lot of care and love for me and her family.

So I said we should go to counselling, which she agreed to. We went as a couple. This went on for months, and the counselor was really really good. We learned a lot about each other. The one thing which really struck me though, was my wife's "realisation" that she "dislikes" the children.

She didn't that she couldn't bear to be around them, but she said she didn't feel any affection for them.

It seems this won't change.

So...... what do I do? She still brings in money, is still loving to me, doesn't harm the kids (unless you count a large degree of apathy as harm). (Yes it is harm because their parents are supposed to love them and she treats them like pests. It's not physically harmful, but mark my words, it's fucking the kids up mentally."

Should I just move forward, knowing that she doesn't like the children?

I still love everyone. Maybe that's enough.

Hmmmm.

?

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EDIT: Oh, I forgot to mention about the kids and their well being. Since we started going counselling, I have also made sure to pay special attention to how the kids are doing due to the disconnect with their Mother. It's a bit sad, but it seems they understand that maybe Mum is just "that type of person".

I remember telling them that it's sad, but not everyone in the world is going to be their friend, but I'll be their best friend, if they'll have me. And my daughter liked that.

My son, however, didn't understand, and just said he would give Mum ice cream to make her a friend. Cute. (No it's not "cute." Your kid is trying to buy his mum's affection. Fuck you.)

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Ok, buckle up, this is a doozy!

I work for a pet/house sitting company and had a new client on my schedule for three visits a day for two weeks to take care of a dog.

When I get to the house and go in I see a kid and thought they must be running late leaving and didn't let us know, so I said hi to the kid and said it's ok don't be scared, then called out for the parents.

The kid said they're gone. I asked what do you mean? The kid then said I needed to hurry up and make her breakfast and take her to school. I asked again, what do you mean, where are your parents? She said they're gone on their trip and again told me to hurry up cause she's hungry. I asked how old she is, she said seven.

I asked they left you here alone? She said yeah, her mom told her we'd be by in the morning to make her breakfast and take her to school, in the afternoon to pick her up from school and make her a snack, and at night to make her supper. I asked where's Macy (made up name) the dog? She said they don't have a dog. I said when the owner came for the client meeting and to get the house keys she met a dog. The kid said her mom borrowed the neighbors dog.

OMG. I called the company owner and told her what was going on, of course she was flabbergasted and came over immediately. She tried to get ahold of the kids parents but they weren't answering their phones so she called CPS and explained everything when they got there. CPS took the kid, the parents info, and left.

The next day the kid's mom called the owner and left a rambling message, screaming about how could we turn her kid in to CPS and we broke the contract so they were going to sue her for that and also for the cost of their ruined vacation. The owner called them back and told them our agreement was to take care of a dog not a kid, and that was illegal anyway, and also borrowing a dog for her to meet for the client meeting was deliberate misrepresentation, so good luck with a lawsuit.

She hasn't heard from them since. I guess our pet sitting service was cheaper than hiring someone to watch the child properly. We still can't understand how this woman thought this would actually work.

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Inside News
A stray puppy tormented by children and left for dead, according to a rescue organization, has made a miraculous recovery. The dog named Pascal was brought to a charity clinic in critical condition after the 4-month-old dog had been covered in industrial glue and dragged through dirt. Damage from the glue left the organization with no choice but to shave his fur, revealing red, almost raw skin underneath. InsideEdition.com's Keleigh Nealon ( / keleighnealon ) has more.

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Chinese biologist Hongmei Wang pushed one of the most controversial questions in reproductive science into the spotlight: can the human menstrual cycle be slowed down, perhaps to once every three months, and by doing so, extend a woman’s fertile years? The idea has sparked debate worldwide, blending hard science with deep ethical, biological and societal questions.

Wang works at the State Key Laboratory of Stem Cell and Reproductive Biology in Beijing, an institution historically linked to family planning research but now focused on understanding human fertility at its most fundamental levels. Her work comes at a time when China, like many nations, is facing a sharp decline in birth rates and an aging population, pressures that have made fertility extension a hot topic in scientific and policy circles.

At the heart of Wang’s research is a simple but provocative question: if the female body could experience fewer menstrual cycles over a lifetime, could this slow down the depletion of eggs? Unlike men, who produce sperm throughout life, women are born with a fixed reserve of oocytes (eggs), and that reserve declines with each cycle until menopause.

By reducing the number of cycles, from roughly a dozen per year to only four, Wang hypothesizes there might be a way to preserve that reserve and delay the onset of reproductive aging.

There’s some early evidence to suggest this line of thinking isn’t purely speculative. Wang and her team have made significant strides in related stem-cell work, including experiments in which human stem cells were implanted into the ovaries of sterile monkeys, resulting in a healthy baby monkey, a result the scientist cites with pride.

A small human trial with 63 women suffering premature ovarian failure also showed that stem cell transplants helped four participants conceive healthy children. These results, while encouraging, come with huge caveats and do not by themselves demonstrate that menstrual slowing would extend fertility.

Despite the enthusiasm, Wang doesn’t hide the uncertainties. The biological mechanisms governing ovulation, hormone production and ovarian aging are deeply complex. Her own work in animal models, like mice, suggests manipulating cycles might be possible, but carries potential risks.

Suppressing ovulation, a key part of reducing frequency, also suppresses estrogen production, a hormone essential not only for reproduction but for overall health. Long-term reduction of estrogen could lead to other health issues, including bone density loss and cardiovascular effects, and these consequences are not fully understood.

The scientific community also faces practical and ethical barriers. For centuries, research into human embryonic development, from fertilization to early growth stages, has been limited by both technical challenges and legal restrictions.

Most countries restrict laboratory studies of human embryos beyond the first 14 days, precisely the window when key developmental processes unfold. Wang and collaborators are working around these limits with embryonic models made from stem cells, but even these approaches raise questions about how far science should push.

Public reaction to the work has been mixed. Some see potential societal benefits, especially in an era where many women delay childbearing for education or career goals and face narrowing fertility windows.

Others, including scientists not involved in the study, caution that menstrual frequency and fertility lifespan aren’t as directly linked as the theory suggests, noting that the biology of ovarian aging involves more than just the number of cycles. There are also cultural and personal dimensions, not everyone would want to alter such a deeply natural process even if it were possible.

At the moment, Wang’s ideas remain at the frontier of reproductive biology rather than established clinical practice. What’s clear is that understanding how the reproductive system ages, and whether that aging can be slowed or altered, remains one of the most intriguing and contentious questions facing science today. Whether menstrual cycles can ever safely occur only four times a year, and whether that would translate into prolonged fertility, is a question still very much to be answered.