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Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2

Posted by kidlesskim 
Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2
May 08, 2011
http://www.babyandbump.com/trying-to-conceive/483879-write-letter-your-future-little-one.html


What a ridiculous concept to write letters to a clump not yet conceived, but even more ridiculous is some of the shit that they wrote.eye rolling smiley



1)"Dear Rosemarie-May or Sebastian Graham,

First of all, I’m sorry about your name if you’re a boy – Daddy got to pick it.

I’ve wanted you since I was 18 years old, nearly 9 years ago now. But at that age I didn’t have the money or stability to offer you a good life, and in the years that followed, I never met a man good enough to be your Daddy (trust me darling, Mummy was rubbish at picking men back then!).

The thought of one day having you kept me going through some very rough times.

And then 2 years ago I met your Daddy, the love of my life and knew that he would be good enough for you. I married him in May 2010 and since then, we’ve been waiting for the chance to have you. I did a stupid thing and got the depo injection in March you see, and it messed me up so that I didn’t have the chance to start trying to get you for a long time. As I write this, I am still waiting.

Your Daddy and I don’t care whether you are a boy or a girl, how clever you are, or what you look like. We just want you here for us to love. We want to take you to play in the park, tell you about Father Christmas and cuddle you at night. When you become a teenager we will do our best to not embarrass you too much, and try to remember what we were like at that age.

I hope to meet you soon my darling, because we wont stop trying until we do, however long that may take.

All my love,

Mummy"


confused smiley Just when is she gonna give this confessional to her kid? She's basically admitting to an abortion as a teen and a past history of choosing shitty baybee daddys. It's likely that by the time the kid makes it to the age to be able to read that it's sperm donor will be among the countless other mistakes that this stupid woman has made. WHO dreams of having baybees at the age of 18 anyway?


2)Dear my lovely little prince or princess

i know you wanted to come when i was 17 which was not ment to be. you wanted to wait for your daddy. Well 7 years ago i did and we have a house and are married.

At the moment we are just waiting and don't care if your a boy or girl, if you become a mega star or not or a famous footballer.

i will love and treasure you no matter what. you are truly special because your ours no matter what.

Lots of love
Mummy and Daddy
Here's another one admitting to an abortion. Do they really want to share this with their kids?


3)Dear Rachel Victoria, (daddy's choice) Kimberley Louise (mummy's choice) or James/Benjamin/Daniel

I really cant describe what it is like to desperately wish that you were here already and not having any control whatsoever in making that happen! Your mummy, daddy and brother are soooo looking forward to finally having you with us. I know that shyness runs in our family but darling there is no need to be shy with us! i know you are probably just making sure that we are ready for you - believe me we all are!

It is very strange loving someone so much that doesnt even exist yet, the thought of holding you makes me cry with happiness. your brother cant wait to meet you either, especially if you are a boy because that will be 3 boys v 1 girl in the house ( rachel or kimberley this will not do ! lol)

I hope to see the first line of you so very soon xmx
At least this one admits that this behavior is bizarre. The "first line" of you? I suppose she means the piss stick.eye rolling smiley


4)littleone ,

me and your daddy cant wait for the day that you surprise us and say a big hello with a BFP!
We have wanted you for so long but due to mummy being poorly and having Endometriosis we had to postpone things , but always remember bubs you are very much loved and wanted.
I hope you have mummys determination and we can prove the doctors wrong , you show the cysts in there what your made of!
Mummy has to have another operation , but if we cross our fingers and wish, hope and pray maybe I wont need to have the op if you make an appearance in the next two months.
I dont care how long it takes or how many hurdles we come across , me and your daddy are determined and we cannot wait to have you in our arms.

lots of love ,

mummy and daddyx x
waving hellolarious This one is unbelievable! It's probably a little TMI for a kid, but from the sound of her medical diagnoses, she isn't likely to bake a loaf in her broken oven any time in the near future anyway.

------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------
If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
That is... just so fucking weird! :crzsaying 'wtf'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know, I know. "You were one once." I was a sperm once, but you don't see me wantin' to cuddle up to a fuckin' wankstain, do you? - John Constantine
Keep them coming, kidlesskim. I'm getting more laughs as you keep posting.
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2
May 08, 2011
You sure seem to have hit the mother's day jackpot, Kim! Lots of new threads to keep me entertained smiling smiley
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2
May 08, 2011
Quote
yurble
You sure seem to have hit the mother's day jackpot, Kim! Lots of new threads to keep me entertained smiling smiley


drinking coffee
Glad to have obliged! I found a few new sites and am pilfering them for moo-gems in honor of Moo-Day.

------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------
If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2
May 08, 2011
I bet I would feel oh so much better if I wrote a letter to the kids I never had. A little something like this:

Dear Sage Moon Blossom/Aiden Jacob Jayden,

Thank gawd I never had you. You'd be an adult by now, and probably still sponging off me, despite me spending your lifetime letting you know how much I resented you and couldn't wait for you to get the fuck out of my life. I hated the non-existent dirty diapers, vomit, spit-up, snotty noses, backtalk, screaming, whining, and general disgust of you being a kid. I'm sooo sorry that I have spent my life doing what I wanted to do, going where I wanted to go, completely unhindered by your squalling demands. It is ever a joy to me when I reflect that I will never have to babysit your filthy nasty shitloaves (otherwise known as grandchildren). I am so glad you were never born. No doubt you have been born to some poor, unsuspecting imbecile who thought she wanted you, and I trust that you've been making her life a living hell. I hope we never meet, in this life or any other.

Kisses & Hugs,

Your Non-Mommy.
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2
May 08, 2011
Quote
Sorceress
I bet I would feel oh so much better if I wrote a letter to the kids I never had. A little something like this:

Dear Sage Moon Blossom/Aiden Jacob Jayden,

Thank gawd I never had you. You'd be an adult by now, and probably still sponging off me, despite me spending your lifetime letting you know how much I resented you and couldn't wait for you to get the fuck out of my life. I hated the non-existent dirty diapers, vomit, spit-up, snotty noses, backtalk, screaming, whining, and general disgust of you being a kid. I'm sooo sorry that I have spent my life doing what I wanted to do, going where I wanted to go, completely unhindered by your squalling demands. It is ever a joy to me when I reflect that I will never have to babysit your filthy nasty shitloaves (otherwise known as grandchildren). I am so glad you were never born. No doubt you have been born to some poor, unsuspecting imbecile who thought she wanted you, and I trust that you've been making her life a living hell. I hope we never meet, in this life or any other.

Kisses & Hugs,

Your Non-Mommy.



waving hellolarious


Dear Clump,

I am so sorry that I flushed you, but considering your daddy's genes you would have likely grown up to be a socio-path. I hope you are enjoying the big kinder care in the sky and that the other baybees, who were actually born, don't discriminate against you because you were only a lump of blood cells.

Good Day!

------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------
If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2
May 08, 2011
What the fuck? Writing to unconceived clumps? This is far worse than the moos who talk to their flushed clumps, which at least existed for a short time. These women are clearly mentally ill. :crz

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shauna's like a gluten-free Jim Jones for dumb, lifeless middle-aged women. I swear, this bitch could set fire to a orphanage and they would applaud her for bringing them light. ~ Miss Hannigan
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2
May 08, 2011
Kidless and Sorceress, consider yourself added to my Giant Lesbian Crush List. :yr
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2
May 08, 2011
Quote
bell_flower
Kidless and Sorceress, consider yourself added to my Giant Lesbian Crush List. :yr


:drkbddy

------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------
If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2
May 08, 2011
Quote
kidlesskim
Quote
yurble
You sure seem to have hit the mother's day jackpot, Kim! Lots of new threads to keep me entertained smiling smiley


drinking coffee
Glad to have obliged! I found a few new sites and am pilfering them for moo-gems in honor of Moo-Day.

I have to say, Kim, this is the nicest mother's day gift anyone has given me--my angel eggs and SO didn't get me anything, even though I clearly deserve the best :bawl because I, too, am a moo by some definitions.
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2
May 08, 2011
Gotta love the women who write this shit who already have kids. Obviously the ones they already have are just not good enough, so they want another one so damn bad that they are will to write letters to imaginary potential children. This reminds me of children writing letters to Santa Claus, but the difference is kids are taught to believe Santa is real. Meanwhile, these Moos are choosing to be bat-shit nuts.
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2
May 08, 2011
Dear Period:

I know the egg and uterine lining were hope for a sperm gentleman caller. But they wouldn't have to take care of the results for the next 18 years and completely change their lives around. That's why I use birth control when I do have sex. Thanks for visiting, even though you can be messy & inconvenient sometimes, you're proof I'm not pregnant and always a welcome houseguest.
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2
May 08, 2011
Wow, they really live in a pure fantasyland! openmouthed shock
grinning smiley
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2
May 08, 2011
Quote
Sorceress
I bet I would feel oh so much better if I wrote a letter to the kids I never had. A little something like this:

Dear Sage Moon Blossom/Aiden Jacob Jayden,

Thank gawd I never had you. You'd be an adult by now, and probably still sponging off me, despite me spending your lifetime letting you know how much I resented you and couldn't wait for you to get the fuck out of my life. I hated the non-existent dirty diapers, vomit, spit-up, snotty noses, backtalk, screaming, whining, and general disgust of you being a kid. I'm sooo sorry that I have spent my life doing what I wanted to do, going where I wanted to go, completely unhindered by your squalling demands. It is ever a joy to me when I reflect that I will never have to babysit your filthy nasty shitloaves (otherwise known as grandchildren). I am so glad you were never born. No doubt you have been born to some poor, unsuspecting imbecile who thought she wanted you, and I trust that you've been making her life a living hell. I hope we never meet, in this life or any other.

Kisses & Hugs,

Your Non-Mommy.

Now THIS is a gem!

______________

- The human gene pool could use a little chlorine
A couple of those letter-writers express that they don't care whether the baby is a boy or girl. In a macabre sort way, this reminds me of an old Tales From the Darkside episode entitled, "The Milkman Cometh" devil with smile

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/user/fadingdawn#p/u/3/v9l0TbTOsO8
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/user/fadingdawn#p/u/2/MR8hyE_vx2Y
I was inspired by sorceress.
Dear Shitling,
You should be thankful I never had you and here are the reasons
1. Your romance novel name(I REALLY would have picked your name from one of those sappy hysterical romance novels second hand bookstores can't give away most days.)
2. Immature bladder, inherited problem, would have made you a bed wetter until age 10 at least.
3. Nearsightedness. Pop bottle glasses and no contact lenses until age 25.
4. Psycho grand moo
5.Dumbass grandfather stupid enough to think we should put up with psycho grand moo's crap and not slam her into a padded cell for it.
6.The rest of my dysfunctional famblee gets worse from there, hence the reason I won't get into it
I"M thankful you're not here and you should be too.
All the best
Quote
Sorceress
Dear Sage Moon Blossom/Aiden Jacob Jayden,

LOL.. I love the Aiden Jacob Jayden name. It combines the top moo names in one even more moorific name that someone will probably name their kid.
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2
May 12, 2011
This makes me think of the Seinfeld episode where George pretends to be an Architect.

In either this one, or another, he laments the fact that he never had the opportunity to even *fake* being an Architect LOL.

I could see someone trying to write such a letter to this - 'To my fake architect that never got to be a fake architect' - yeah - sounds really nutty goofy - like these mooing and lowing cows. *

At least nutbags with imaginary friends - yeah - these friends *do exist* to them.

Ever feel like journaling to the pool boy who works on the rooftop pool of the high rise you don't live in? I might go do that. Maybe I can include some fake architects in this. Or upset myself and worry that it might become The Towering Inferno.

Yeah, that sounds like time well spent to me!

* I have a creeping feeling that similar lines of thinking will inspire WannaCows to write letters to their non existent grand children.
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2
May 12, 2011
Dear never-to-be-born future burden,

I hoped and prayed that you'd never set up house in my uterus, but my luck ran out and here I sit in a paper gown at Planned Parenthood. I can't say you'll be missing much, as I certainly wouldn't be the PTA mom who trots out the Oreos and cans of Hi-C juice with a 500-watt smile on my face. I don't even know if they make Hi-C anymore, for fuck's sake, and if they do it's probably got enough allergens to inadvertently poison half your pre-school classmates. I don't need that kind of drama. And you probably wouldn't like Dad, as he's either that good-looking shitbag who sells car stereo parts out of his apartment, or the married middle manager who got way too frisky at lunch. I'm not sure which. Anyway, keep both hands inside the vacuum, as this is going to be a bumpy ride.

xoxoxox
Miss H.

--------------------
"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2
May 12, 2011
Quote
DucorpsToo
A couple of those letter-writers express that they don't care whether the baby is a boy or girl. In a macabre sort way, this reminds me of an old Tales From the Darkside episode entitled, "The Milkman Cometh" devil with smile

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/user/fadingdawn#p/u/3/v9l0TbTOsO8
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/user/fadingdawn#p/u/2/MR8hyE_vx2Y

OMG. I am definitely checking that episode out. Thanks for the recommendation. I love TFTD.
Quote
Miss_Hannigan
Dear never-to-be-born future burden,

I hoped and prayed that you'd never set up house in my uterus, but my luck ran out and here I sit in a paper gown at Planned Parenthood. I can't say you'll be missing much, as I certainly wouldn't be the PTA mom who trots out the Oreos and cans of Hi-C juice with a 500-watt smile on my face. I don't even know if they make Hi-C anymore, for fuck's sake, and if they do it's probably got enough allergens to inadvertently poison half your pre-school classmates. I don't need that kind of drama. And you probably wouldn't like Dad, as he's either that good-looking shitbag who sells car stereo parts out of his apartment, or the married middle manager who got way too frisky at lunch. I'm not sure which. Anyway, keep both hands inside the vacuum, as this is going to be a bumpy ride.

xoxoxox
Miss H.
Love, love, love this! waving hellolarious
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