Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 08, 2011 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 12,447 |
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 08, 2011 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 690 |
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 08, 2011 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 81 |
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 08, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 08, 2011 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 12,447 |
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yurble
You sure seem to have hit the mother's day jackpot, Kim! Lots of new threads to keep me entertained
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 08, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,291 |
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 08, 2011 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 12,447 |
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Sorceress
I bet I would feel oh so much better if I wrote a letter to the kids I never had. A little something like this:
Dear Sage Moon Blossom/Aiden Jacob Jayden,
Thank gawd I never had you. You'd be an adult by now, and probably still sponging off me, despite me spending your lifetime letting you know how much I resented you and couldn't wait for you to get the fuck out of my life. I hated the non-existent dirty diapers, vomit, spit-up, snotty noses, backtalk, screaming, whining, and general disgust of you being a kid. I'm sooo sorry that I have spent my life doing what I wanted to do, going where I wanted to go, completely unhindered by your squalling demands. It is ever a joy to me when I reflect that I will never have to babysit your filthy nasty shitloaves (otherwise known as grandchildren). I am so glad you were never born. No doubt you have been born to some poor, unsuspecting imbecile who thought she wanted you, and I trust that you've been making her life a living hell. I hope we never meet, in this life or any other.
Kisses & Hugs,
Your Non-Mommy.
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 08, 2011 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 7,026 |
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 08, 2011 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,199 |
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 08, 2011 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 12,447 |
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bell_flower
Kidless and Sorceress, consider yourself added to my Giant Lesbian Crush List. :yr
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 08, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
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kidlesskim
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yurble
You sure seem to have hit the mother's day jackpot, Kim! Lots of new threads to keep me entertained
Glad to have obliged! I found a few new sites and am pilfering them for moo-gems in honor of Moo-Day.
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 08, 2011 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,973 |
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 08, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 862 |
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 08, 2011 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 2,348 |
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Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 08, 2011 |
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 08, 2011 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 1,270 |
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Sorceress
I bet I would feel oh so much better if I wrote a letter to the kids I never had. A little something like this:
Dear Sage Moon Blossom/Aiden Jacob Jayden,
Thank gawd I never had you. You'd be an adult by now, and probably still sponging off me, despite me spending your lifetime letting you know how much I resented you and couldn't wait for you to get the fuck out of my life. I hated the non-existent dirty diapers, vomit, spit-up, snotty noses, backtalk, screaming, whining, and general disgust of you being a kid. I'm sooo sorry that I have spent my life doing what I wanted to do, going where I wanted to go, completely unhindered by your squalling demands. It is ever a joy to me when I reflect that I will never have to babysit your filthy nasty shitloaves (otherwise known as grandchildren). I am so glad you were never born. No doubt you have been born to some poor, unsuspecting imbecile who thought she wanted you, and I trust that you've been making her life a living hell. I hope we never meet, in this life or any other.
Kisses & Hugs,
Your Non-Mommy.
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 08, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 216 |
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 09, 2011 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 81 |
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 11, 2011 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 286 |
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 11, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 5,716 |
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 11, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,035 |
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 12, 2011 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 808 |
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DucorpsToo
A couple of those letter-writers express that they don't care whether the baby is a boy or girl. In a macabre sort way, this reminds me of an old Tales From the Darkside episode entitled, "The Milkman Cometh"
Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/user/fadingdawn#p/u/3/v9l0TbTOsO8
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/user/fadingdawn#p/u/2/MR8hyE_vx2Y
Re: Moo Letters to Their Yet to Be Conceived Shitlings:rolleyes2 May 13, 2011 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 409 |
Love, love, love this! lariousQuote
Miss_Hannigan
Dear never-to-be-born future burden,
I hoped and prayed that you'd never set up house in my uterus, but my luck ran out and here I sit in a paper gown at Planned Parenthood. I can't say you'll be missing much, as I certainly wouldn't be the PTA mom who trots out the Oreos and cans of Hi-C juice with a 500-watt smile on my face. I don't even know if they make Hi-C anymore, for fuck's sake, and if they do it's probably got enough allergens to inadvertently poison half your pre-school classmates. I don't need that kind of drama. And you probably wouldn't like Dad, as he's either that good-looking shitbag who sells car stereo parts out of his apartment, or the married middle manager who got way too frisky at lunch. I'm not sure which. Anyway, keep both hands inside the vacuum, as this is going to be a bumpy ride.
xoxoxox
Miss H.