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A Long, Old Story

Posted by nullipar-tay 
A Long, Old Story
May 17, 2011
True but old story. And it's a long one. Still, had to share. I hope it amuses. eating popcorn

Many years ago, I was a lifeguard at a public community center. I was the only adult lifeguard they had, so I ended up working during school hours. Homeschooling families would bring their kids in, especially in the winter when we'd cover the pool area with a 'bubble', making it indoors for the season..

Our community center was old, built in a poor community that got annexed by a very prestigious nearby city with their own PGA golf course next door. They had their own high-priced, snooty club for these stuck up famblees and their brats. But when moos got tired of the crowd, they'd come to our community center and 'slum it'.

And I had one family I loathed with every bone in my body. I called them TSM's - The Screaming Meanies. It was bleach-blonde, still trying to look 20 (and failing) moo, and her four trophies: a newly shat loaf (name unknown), a boy brat, James, (7?) and my least favorites, the two sisters: Madeline (4) and Caroline (6).

These were, to date, some of the worst behaved fucking children I'd ever had to deal with. The nightmare routine played out all spring and summer long. TSM Moo and her shitlings would come early, dragging in a sack of kinderspullen (and in the summer, we hardly had room for the visitors, much less toys), and the fighting would start immediately. moody smiley

Moo would sometimes offer a weak, "James, stop. Madeline, stop." But these fucking hellions (loaf excepted - it was usually pretty chill and locked into its carrier) infuriated me. They'd run around the edge of the pool, chasing each other, ignoring us when we'd whistle or tell them to stop. They couldn't swim, but liked to haul ass down near the deep end of the pool.

Our pool was only 5.5 feet deep, and not olympic-sized. Not a huge pool. But James liked to try to knock or shove his sisters into the water, usually while mom was asleep working on her tan, or on her cellphone, turned away from where she should be watching them.

The lifeguard staff was forever shooting daggers at the entire family, or trying to keep the brats in line so nobody got hurt. I kept waiting for an accident to happen, but it never did. These kids often fought, violently, hitting, kicking, and spitting at each other. :mad2

And they did it to Moo, too. They'd kick her, hit her, spit on her or bite her on the few occasions where she'd actually try to discipline them. It was clearly too little, too late. She didn't even bother anymore. Madeline was an ugly, nasty little troll of a she-brat, and she screamed and cried at the tops of her lungs whenever she wasn't getting what she wanted (which was often). She had just the right pitch to make your brains scramble.

Caroline was a mean she-brat, who openly pointed at and made fun of overweight people, bullied her sister, and taunted her mom by purposefully doing the opposite of what her mom said, then sticking out her tongue and running away. Moo was in no shape to chase her.

James was a pint-sized tyrant who liked to get violent. Period. He was into pummeling his sisters, but would actually whine and cry whenever they attempted to defend themselves or reciprocate. Even when other families would stop and glare at Moo and her family from hell, she completely ignored them. She also ignored her kids during their screaming, wailing, violence, and dangerous antics. Like I said, hell on EARTH. angry smiley

Winter came one year, and nobody was coming to the pool much, even though it was covered. I sat up on the lifeguard stand alone for hours, sometimes. But one day... to my horror and surprise... TSM fam comes dragging into the bubble, just as they had all summer long. I was alone with them. No other lifeguards or staff were anywhere near the structure. It was just me, and the family from hell.

They got into the area, plopped onto some deck chairs, and immediately, the kids started fighting. They were in the chairs behind me, behind my stand, so at least I could look forward at the pool and pretend not to see them. Sound really carries under that bubble, and Madeline was screaming bloody murder over something, and James was beating up on Caroline.

Moo was frustrated and sighing, weakly trying to tell them to stop. The kids hadn't even gotten fully unpacked when the punching, kicking and wailing was in full force. I could see enough from the corner of my eye, and I did look over at Moo wearily, with a "really?" expression.

Moo threatened to take them all home, and the kids went running down to the far end of the pool area, near the deep end, of course. There, they carried on as per usual, cackling, fighting, crying and screaming. James and Caroline finally decided to swim, and they came back to the shallow end and got into the water.

Where they started fighting in the goddamned pool. I blew the whistle on them and told them 'no way'. They got bored swimming soon after, and started running around the pool deck again and spitting at each other. Madeline ran after them, wailing because she wasn't getting attention.

Moo was actually yelling at them, threatening them... Caroline stuck out her tongue, and they all went back to roughhousing. I wanted to nuke them all from orbit. The noise had reached a crescendo, they had started slapping each other, and Moo was still standing just behind my stand with loaf. She was close enough to me, that I could see that she was trying not to cry. Without thinking, I said to her quietly, "I would have gone insane by now."

Moo was still trying not to cry. "I...I can't get them to behave. No matter what I do... and in places like this, you can't really punish them without someone reporting you to child services." I knew what she really meant. Slowly, I turned around in my stand to look down to her. I removed my glasses, and said, dead-on: "...I don't see anyone else here, and I'm certainly not going to say a word."

Moo's face went slack. She blinked at me, and nodded, almost in a trance. It wasn't even 60 seconds before she was striding down the deck. That woman snatched James' arm, jerking him towards her, and she lit his ass UP. The looks on the faces of all three brats was EPIC.doh face

Their eyes were as wide as saucers, stunned, and after she beat James' ass so hard the blows were echoing, she heaved him into a chair, and snapped up Caroline's wrist. The girl was too shocked to think to move, and mom had her screaming from the ass whooping in two blows. Madeline saw what was coming and RAN, crying in terror. But Moo actually overtook her stumpy legs, and dragged the blonde brat across her knees in a chair, wailing on her ass as well.

"Now we're going home!" Moo barked at them. "Pack your damn toys. NOW." And the kids, all three crying, packed up the kinderspullen and started limping off to the bubble exit. The Moo walked over to pick up the carrier with the loaf, looked at me, and nodded. She didn't come back on any of my shifts ever again.

I know it's horrible of me, but I can't remember ever feeling so vindicated in this kind of situation. devil with smile
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 17, 2011
What a beautiful story!!!!!!thumbs upwink Too bad it doesn't happen any more often.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
VanDetta
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 17, 2011
"Epic" would be an understatement. O.M.G. To think that poor lady was doomed to have her frankenbrats terrorize her 24/7 because she was really, truly afraid that some meddling dipsh!t would turn her in to CPS...that's just disgusting. That's basically living in prison with multiple ill-behaved cellmates for 18 years..

I can say without a shadow of a doubt that you did the right thing. If this were RL I'd buy you a box of chocolates.
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 17, 2011
I do wish this kind of thing happened more often, but I've never seen it like that again. As a matter of fact, right after I quit that job, my husband and I were at a restaurant, and got into a really embarrassing confrontation with a famblee. That's another story, and with a sad ending, as it taught us the lesson that even if you see kids about to hurt themselves in public, it's probably smarter to just let them do it. sad smiley
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 17, 2011
That was a great story...the kind that should be posted on parenting sites as a how-to manual on discipline.

--------------------
"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 17, 2011
nullipar-tay, that was a great story. Now that was another example of a good, old-school ass whipping. waving hellolarious It's too bad that unlike a generation ago, a parent's hands are tied when it comes to discipline.

You'll have to tell us the restaurant story whenever you get the chance.
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 17, 2011
Great story! I think it sucks that people can't freely discipline their kids without fear of repurcussions.

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- The human gene pool could use a little chlorine
lenona
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 17, 2011
For lurking parents - and babysitters: There IS a way to get small kids to stop misbehaving without attracting too much attention from strangers. Give them a good pinch. That can't be seen as easily as a slap. Or heard. (Of course, the kid will start screaming, but any busybody strangers can't prove what just happened.)

Worked for me, and the mother I was helping out certainly didn't mind.
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 17, 2011
(golf clap)
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 17, 2011
Hooray! That truly is a breath of fresh air, and I bet it felt good for this lady to wallop her kids.

This woman is afraid of CPS taking her kids if someone sees her hit them - considering their behavior, would that really be a bad thing? If I had to deal with a bunch of snot-miners who were that rude, loud, spoiled and violent, I'd slap every single one of them in the head and wait for CPS to take them away and free me from my biological ball and chain.

I hope that incident struck fear into the little fuckstains and they went on to learn to behave. I'm glad you gave her the opportunity to slam those kids because, had you not, I think one day she would have snapped and either severely hurt them or killed them. She needed to get that out of her system.
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 17, 2011
I'll bet that was a day those little shits will NEVER forget. spanking with a whip on the ass

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I know, I know. "You were one once." I was a sperm once, but you don't see me wantin' to cuddle up to a fuckin' wankstain, do you? - John Constantine
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 18, 2011
Quote
CherryBlossom
I'll bet that was a day those little shits will NEVER forget. spanking with a whip on the ass

This.



lab mom
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 18, 2011
Yep. please, the restaurant story...

But that comment from the moo is correct: if some goody two shoes had been there, she would have been up on child abuse charges.

I also tend to think that this sort of 'no spank' shit actually leads to more child abuse as the anger level will build to volcanic levels (rather than a lower safety blow off) of discipline.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children
and I defy anyone to prove me wrong:

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet I'll put shoes on my pets.

Mankind and its needs (wants) are like unto a black hole. It devours all available resources and it never is full: it merely grows larger and demands more.

Definition of 'wealthy': Anyone who makes more/has more than you do.

Someone pointed out that I'm a realist. And all along I thought I was just a pessimist crossed with a cynic.

Entitlement, thy name is mooooooooooooooo

"Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove
they are insured... but not everyone must prove they are a citizen.
Add to this that, many of those who refuse or are unable to prove they are
citizens, will receive free insurance paid for by those who are.""

I am confused enough already. I do not need outside help.
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 18, 2011
Thanks for the fun responses. I'll go ahead and tell the restaurant story, though as much as a wuss as it makes me, it still makes me uncomfortable to think about. sad smiley

Around the same time as I was getting ready to leave the lifeguarding job, I was hitting severe burnout (as any CF person might). My boyfriend (now husband) decided to take me out to my favorite restaurant one night after a really long day. I loved PF Chang's, and we only had one in our area. The wait without reservations or call-ahead seating could be 2 hours at times. I was exhausted, sun-cooked, and had listened to and held vigilance over 100+ kids that day. (Camps used to bus them to our pool)

We called ahead, so our wait would only be 10 - 15 mins. When we got there, it was a huge freaking zoo. There was no real 'lobby' to wait in - people were lined up on either side of the entry walls. Opposite my boyfriend and I was a huge family. Mom was a trophy wife, sporting giant bling and manicure, Dad was a tall, tanned CEO-type. They had another three adults with them... but there were also four kyds.

The kydz were already hyper, being loud and almost tripping the waiters coming out of the kitchen nearby. This part I own, here and now: The last thing I wanted to do was deal with fucking kids. I'm sure it was written all over my face, and I was probably scowling. The Moo laughs and says, "Would you like one?" (About the kids!) And I shook my head, managing a tense smile. "Nooooo thanks."

We ended up waiting 30-40 minutes. Right when we were being seated, so was the family -- near us. The parunts get the great idea that the adults will sit at one table, and the kids will sit at their own... closer to us than to their parents. This alone wasn't an issue. Honestly, the kids were calmer, and once seated, weren't loud or problematic. I'm trying to ignore them.

At one point, after our drinks had come, I look over. The waiters have brought the four brats their drinks with little paper umbrellas on them. The kids seemed to be in the range of 4 - 10 years, and one of the older ones takes his umbrella, and starts sticking into the candle on their table! doh face

I started to sweat. I tried to look away, but that instinct to avert disaster was winning out, to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. A second child had joined in the fun. They hadn't caught the trinkets on fire yet, but it was only a matter of time. My boyfriend is irritated by it, and concerned, so after watching me twitching in my seat, he leaves the table, discreetly moves over to the Dud, kneels down beside his chair, to warn him about the kids and the fire.

No big deal, right, though the adults give us both looks afterward. The Dud doesn't do squat at first, but appetizers are coming out, and he goes over to 'check' on them, taking the the umbrellas to give the kids 'more room' to eat. He shoots us a look.

Five minutes after this, once the appetizers at the kids' table are devoured, the oldest brat reaches over, and starts to stick his plastic-lacquered chopstick in the candle flame. The adults are having drinks at their table, totally ignoring the kids. I start to twitch again. Here's where I made the mistake. When our mutual waiter came by, I quietly warned him that he may want to blow out the candle once the food comes for the children.

I don't know what the waiter said to the Dud, but he threw his napkin down on the table, stormed over to ours, jerked a chair out, turned it around, and plopped down, and proceeded to make a scene, snarling at us and ripping us a new one. What was our problem, we should mind our own business, etc.

I continued to eat and totally ignored him, but my poor boyfriend was the one getting the brunt of it, and he was like a deer in headlights. We were both shaken up. The asshole gets out of the chair, tells us to just eat our dinner, slams the chair against the table, and storms back.

The waiter tried to play it off, but we did end up finishing and leaving immediately. We didn't go back for over five years. sad smiley NEVER again have I interfered when a child is about to get hurt, but their parunts are supposedly "supervising" them. The asshole did take the chopsticks away from the kids on his way back to his table.

I am still really embarrassed about it. There are a million things we wished we had said, later, but we hadn't managed to say a fucking word at the time. So, yeah, never again.
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 18, 2011
nullipar-tay, I disagree that you and your boyfriend made any mistakes. You guys did the right thing. If the kids would have gotten hurt, I bet the parents would have tried to sue the restaurant or other customers for not stopping the kids. The "parent" is the one who fucked up and he should have been thrown out of the restaurant and banned IMMEDIATELY after he lost his damned mind.

I'm sorry you had to experience that crap after doing the right thing. It's always good to look out for the kids, in my opinion. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I wouldn't be surprised if the dad was embarrassed that you and your boyfriend, virtual STRANGERS, were doing a better job at parenting than he was, and he took his frustrations out on you.

People always complain that "the village" isn't doing enough when it's people like that "parent" who are causing the village to just give up.

I can totally understand your reservations about looking out for kids in the future. It's sad that good people like us have to be cautious and worried about our safety/sanity because some people are unable to be good parents/people.
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 18, 2011
Wow, That really sucks. I'm also one of those people who's not blessed with the talent of delivering snappy comebacks when suddenly faced with a confrontation. It's only AFTER the incident is over that I concoct some good ones... Nowadays you can't correct anyone's kids without the parents getting their panties all in a bunch.
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 18, 2011
Thanks, JayJay. I felt really bad for my husband. He's really a sweetie, and was actually astounded when the jerk reacted that way. It's like he couldn't conceive of someone taking offense over someone wanting to help.

Sadly, part of the reason it didn't shock me is that I (and at least two other lifeguards) had been fussed out by parents for disciplining and even getting their kids out of danger. It embarrasses the oblivious moo when little Timmy slips into the deep end right behind her turned back.

I never want to get involved again, but between you and I, in some situations, I don't think I have a choice. I've had situations on a less grand scale, and I've taken some risks. But never in a public situation where the parunt could make a scene to avert their own embarrassment.

[Edited thirty times to make better grammatical sense. Geez, no after-work writing for me!]

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"They will say that you are on the wrong road, if it is your own." ~Antonio Porchia

Re: A Long, Old Story
May 18, 2011
nullipar-tay, you're welcome. Your boyfriend totally sounds sweet. grinning smiley Yeah, I agree that in some situations, you *have* to look out for the kids. If the parents can't/won't, then who will? Keep being awesome. ^_^
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 18, 2011
Quote
DucorpsToo
It's only AFTER the incident is over that I concoct some good ones...

Yeah, me too. Don't you hate that? ^_^;

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"They will say that you are on the wrong road, if it is your own." ~Antonio Porchia
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 18, 2011
I'm really sorry anyone had to face that kind of reaction. Would dud have been happier if Shitford had set the table on fire???
Anonymous User
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 18, 2011
OMFG! This is why I'm such a bitch with my BFF (who is brainwashed with the need to rescue everything in sight). There are psychos out there who just won't admit that regardless of how much you have in the bank, or what gated community you live in, your life is still fucked up. I hope the tykes crack up each and every one of his luxury cars and his whore leaves him for the pool boy. NOBODY deserves to get treated that way. Fuck the snappy comebacks, I would've splashed my drink in his leather face and shoved the broken glass in his eyes.
Anonymous User
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 18, 2011
I'm sorry you had to suffer and I'm suprised one of the crack monkeys didn't fall in the pool or slip and crack their head open n the concrete. though it would teach then a damn lesson. I hope that Mother continued what she started that day before those brats were ruined for life. I worked at a pool one summer in college, not as a LG but the gate guard and I saw alot of things. It;s funny I got to tell kids to "WALK!" and it's funny I work in librarys and do that alot there also.
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 18, 2011
As far as the restaurant story goes, that is also why I would never say or do anything to stop a kid from hurting itself. Because Moo and/or Duh will storm over and scream bloody murder at ME for daring call their parenting into question by telling their kid to not do something or warning others about it. If a kid is about to bust his head open, not my problem. Sorry if he gets hurt, but I'm sure as fuck not CF so I can be in charge of the safety of other people's kids.

It's also why, despite knowing CPR, I would never use it on a stranger. Too many assholes who will sue over a fractured rib despite their lives being saved and I refuse to pay to save someone I don't even know. Fuck 'em - they can find someone else to puff air down their throats.

Breeders don't like when people have the balls to call them out on their neglect - it means not only is someone in "the village" not doing their part, but also questioning their parenting techniques. And that's like a kick in the balls for either Moo or Duh (whether or not they have actual balls). So rather than admit they made an oopsie, take the advice and remedy the situation...they bitch out the person and not the kids. They can't admit their error, so they make it seem like the person who noticed is a mean asshole. How dare you try and interfere with his kids' attempt to get hurt and thus win a settlement from the restaurant! smile rolling left righteyes2
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 18, 2011
Just from the fact that you were/are a lifeguard, I would say you have better-than-average capacities to keep an eye out for danger. And if Dad is the CEO type, he definitely doesn't like to be told what to do. (I have to recall the released 9/11 tape of an executive trapped on an upper floor who was absolutely blasting the poor 911 operator on the phone)

You and your boyfriend did the right thing. It's a shame he had to blow it out of proportion. Kids sounded like future crackheads-in-training.

--------------------
"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny
Re: A Long, Old Story
May 19, 2011
It would seem to me that the pool should have firm rules about issues that affect safety.

Running is not allowed on most pool decks to avoid injury to that person or others.
Jumping is also not allowed for the same reasons.
Yelling and screaming can interfere with the ability to hear safety whistles and lifeguard instructions.

If I was in charge of that pool, I would gladly give the staff authority to have people doing such behaviour hoofed out and after a couple of warnings, they would be banned.
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