Women in the workplace

Here's a good story for you. My best friend stalled for 4 months before quitting her job. Her boss was furious with her, and I don't blame him a bit. First she was out 12 weeks, then she stretched it to 4 months, while he did her job and his, and then she quit.

She recommended me, at the time childfree and 34, for the job. I interviewed. I decided to address the issue upfront. I told Carl, the boss, that I hadn't decided about kids yet, but I absolutely would never quit my job to stay home with kids. NEVER. He nodded politely and hired a single man.

Three years later this single man married a surgeon, they had a baby, and HE QUIT. Bwahahahaha.

"I told Carl, the boss, that I hadn't decided about kids yet, but I absolutely would never quit my job to stay home with kids. NEVER. He nodded politely and hired a single man. "

I can absolutely understand why Carl did this. The fact that you even wanted kids was a red flag. I've known so many Moomies who go on and on about their "dedication" and how they are so excited to get a job, yet shortly after sprogging it all goes down the tubes. Hell, even when they get knocked up with a normal pregnancy, they refuse to travel and start demanding all kinds of special treatment when it's not warranted.

That doesn't mean it's always a good idea for women to announce they aren't having kids at all. Some of the CF posters here and elsewhere have had negative experiences with this. One got the whole, "you're un-nach-rul because you don't want to have pwecious baybees" routine. Alternatively, you could get the job, but be working all the crap hours because "people with famblies need time off," and you still get passed over for promotion because "you don't need the money as bad as Fred the Family Man because he has keedz to feed."

Some days I think having a uterus = you're fucked.

i have found in my case i get penalised, coz i am a man, a lot of the companies are under pressure to be child friendly, in almost all of the offices where i worked i was the only man, and i had to cover but then they got to the stage of oh we cant have a man here coz we cant talk about our problems.. the thing is the managers are usually women too, who have kids its similar to a cult, female managers with kids make the WORST bosses i am talking bout the ones with 1 to 13 year olds

Tara you situation is more the exception rather than the rule. I have in ten years of work I have never met a man who quits his job to take care of the kids. While I have met many women who have done the whole quit when I get preggers and then try to come back when I am bored with it and then waste everyones time trying to do both.

It's never a prospective employer's business if you are married, have children, plan to have children, how old you are. It's a violation of Federal law for them to ask. If they ask anyway, file a complaint with the EEOC. Never, but never, tell anything more in an interview than what is required and is strictly job-related.

I know that, Morganmad, as a matter of fact I'm a lawyer. I would ordinarily have never addressed the issue. The only reason I did was that the only reason I even got the interview was due to the recommendation of my friend and I didn't want him to think I was going to pull the same trick she did.

Interestingly enough, our friendship sputtered out a few years ago because she was just too busy with her three kids. She's one of those women that feels you must spend literally every second with your kids. Bah humbug.

Yes, I'm aware that men quitting are very very rare, I just think it's funny that it happened in this case.

Thanks for the comments!

Maybe it was karma for something. Anyway, I think I would have squawked to the EEOC had I been in your place but it IS funny that the man quit.

I think if she volunteers the info, she can't squawk. Also there are ways to get around asking directly if they have kids. You can always ask the "So, Tell me about yourself question." and nine times out of tent eh first thing out of a parents mouth is "Well I'm the father/mother of ______". With Women you can ask about gaps in employment as to what was going on there.