Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk

I got the idea for a "babystalking" sticky thread this afternoon while waiting to board the train home. recently, I got a folding bike and started commuting to with on public transportation. As if I don't have enough issues with that in itself, today I was officially and shamelessly babystalked for the first time since I started taking the commuter rail this month.

I'm standing in the pre-boarding area watching the screen so that I can be one of the first lemmings to get my seating of choice, as I am riding all the way to the end of the line. About half a minute before the announcement came, this duh wielding a ~2-3 year-old in a stroller saw me, and I could already hear him from about ten feet away, "Look at THAT! That's a BIKE! And it's FOLDED! It's a FOLDING BIKE! How cool is that? Blah Blah Yack Yack, etc." and the whole time he zooms up to me with the stroller and STOPS right in my fucking face while doing the talk i just described. There was NO WAY I could pretend I didn't see or hear him, and I just kept looking up at the screen, making it obvious that I was ignoring him. He probably thought I didn't speak English or something. Then the announcement came and I was off with the rest of the lemmings.

So yeah, I thought this would be a good idea to collect all the baby-stalking stories in one thread, just like we do with the Glossary and Introductions.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Great idea for a thread!

I got babystalked outside of Nordstrom at the cafe bar. DH and I were sitting and having a coffee when this toddler came to within a few inches of my face and stayed there, staring at me. I ignored the little shit and the mother took it away after about 1 minute, saying that she just wanted to say hello to me. The mother was at the next table and apparantly thought it was cute that her brat should come into my personal space. I was the "rude lady" for not giving her little shit the time of day. The next time that happens, I intend to tell the little brat to "get the fuck away from me." If the mother doesn't like it, well then, tough luck. Keep a short leash on your feral brat.

Love the thread title!

I hate that, like you are what some kind of public entertainment or obliged to entertain some strangers brat? Like you are obliged to so anything just because you happened to be there? No, other people are not there to worship and serve you and youre bratling. I hate it when kids go apeshit over realitively minor things and they act like it's the best thing since sliced bread. I watch kids go positively apeshit over our giant goldfish and 3 big algae eaters at my library's fish tank and think I'm never having that in my house. I'd devolve into mush brained driveling idiot in 10 minutes. I like my brain just how it is TYVM.

I have been baybeestalked so many times, I should wear a t-shirt that states: "I don't give a damn about your kyd, so keep it out of my face!" in bold, black letters.
Why...oh why do pahrunts insist on doing this? It's especially bad at my local grocery store. Last week, a twenty-something baybeestalking duh, all dressed up in his rapper gear (yes I know that makes me sound like a geezer) has his little daughter with him in the lineup next to me and my boyfriend. He decides to shout at the kyd, making sure everyone in the store saw him with his toadler.
What was shocking, was that he left the kyd, who was probably not much older than two years old, to stand in the lineup, while he went to return some fucking flowers at another place in the store! My boyfriend and I assumed they were for the "baybeemamma." eyes2 or whoever.
The kyd was standing there all by herself, ready to be snatched up by anyone who would have wanted her!
He just said, "Stay there..." and walked off, expecting everyone in the lineup to watch her for him.
I actually felt sorry for the kyd. Her duh is just a douchebag and a loser, who uses her to attract attention upon himself. "Look what my dick made, everyone!" and "see what a great father I am, I"m a GOOD GUY!!! SEE???"
Baybeestalking duhs are the worst! :smn

Some kid walked up to me in a card store today. This was a whiny, disagreeable child. So, she walked up to me as I was looking for a card for my dad, and she said hi to me. I continued looking at the cards and totally ignored her. She stood there and stared for awhile like she couldn't believe I didn't bow to her awesome child-y-ness. BLEH!

It's your hell; you rot in it!

The last time was this guy I was waiting on at work. Plops his kid's ass right on the counter by the cash register while I'm ringing him up. Of course he's talking to the brat (for my benefit). I just rang him up, put the stuff in a bag, and took his money, and ignored his pweshus Sneauxflaiyke. The whole time I'm thinking, who in their right mind puts their kid's ASS on a counter where people come in and touch it with their hands? As soon as he was gone, I got the spray bottle of alcohol and wiped it all down. Does being a parent just make your common sense brain cells die off, or what?

Sorceress, I used to drive a semi....

I think these moos plop their shit-ass diapered crotch drops on counter tops, food or otherwise, all the time. I do not even remember where we were, out west somewhere, and some farking moo put this baby, wearing nothing but a loose diaper, on the counter where bagged food (thank god bagged food at least) was being passed over. With all the food nazi cleanliness hysteria that goes on, I'm surprised this is tolerated. The old expression, 'there oughta be a law'.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

I used to work in a bank as a teller, and my wicket was behind this high counter top with blinders on both sides to give some bit of privacy to clients. At least once a day some dumdum would sit their shitty loaf up there, where it proceeded to lean over and stare in my face, over around to look at my computer screen, stick its hands into my cash drawer (YEP! dirty dirty DIRTY!) all while I'm trying to have a conversation with its owner. Of course some breeder brain co-worker would always come over to coo over the little turd and prolong the whole situation while I get stink eye from people in line. A few times the breeder actually asked for paper for the brat to draw on because it can't go 5 minutes of divided attention without having a spazz. Some didn't even ask for paper, and let it draw on the pleather covering the sides of the counter top. Nice lesson!

I was fetus-stalked today, as I had a class with a very pregnant moo who kept trying to draw attention to herself and her swollen stomach. She announced, when she got up to pee, "Oops! Nature calling! All that kicking!" I was also getting up to pee at the same time, and just quietly walked out of the room. Later, on a break, she was rubbing her belly and scanning the room for an interested face, but didn't get any takers.Still later, as we were sitting at our tables, she looked down at her stomach, gave a little yelp, and cried to her seat mate, "Did you see that?" No one paid any attention to her or her current state, which somewhat surprised me, as the room was made up of mostly grade school teachers. I guess since it was Friday, and everyone was tired and didn't want to be there anymore, that they just didn't muster up the energy to care.

My best friend and I were shopping yesterday. She was trying on a few things while I was standing in front of the cabin. Just as she opened the door to ask for my opinion, a barely walking she brat puts herself between us and starts gawking into the cabin. Her handler (looked like indigenous muslim, so perhaps doesn't speak the language) was just standing there and looking at us expectantly.
I pretended not to notice Bratlina and my friend was giving the handler a puzzled look until she removed the kid.

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" ... what's one more once you've already got two shedding on the couch?"

I was in Wal-Mart to get a card for my dad and to pick up Rem Oil for DF's Remington 12 gauge (see what a good little wifey I am going to be ongue2) when along comes a woman who obviously shit her brains out with the three toadlers. She pretended to yell at them about not touching the cards (of course they wanted to open all the cards with sounds) but ignored them when they did it anyway. They ran around me and tried to pick out cards in front of the area where I was standing. I just stood there and crowded them out of the way. Moomie of course didn't like that and soon after that, corralled the kids and moved on.

While I have encountered untold numbers of bizarre baby stalking episodes where they have obviously and with much aforethought created favorable circumstances in which to showcase their loaf for my benefit, it's the common every day garden variety types that annoy me the deepest. Among those are the ones who have hoisted a loaf up onto a retail counter or other community customer area and have already sucked in at least one willing participant in their quest for attention and validation. Then, I happen up on it as a paying customer, and am forced to endure the stalker him or herself AND the interested bystander(s) who might be another customer, vendor, or store employee.

So, in addition to the typical looks in my direction and the "over talking" moos-duhs do to a non communicative loaf for the benefit of the "audience", I also get the other participants in the event attempting to pull me into their bullshit as well. This happens with great frequency at grocery store checkouts where a cashier or manager is already cooing, oohing, and ahhing over everything baby. It holds up the line, it's annoying to have to watch-hear, and it's a completely unnecessary and annoying waste of time and energy to inadvertently become a victim in their growing captive audience. Only after realizing that I will NOT participate in the nonsense and am SO NOT interested and even a bit agitated will they finally and mercifully move on and allow the transactions of the customer(s) behind them to proceed. m

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Two weeks ago, on a late train home after having a few drinks in Soho, a smartly dressed couple wheeled their squirmy, grunting, mixed-ethnic, large-cranium FLK (funny looking kid) into the relatively empty train carriage. FLK grunts and squirms free of the pushchair confines and proceeds to make a big show of stomping up and down the carriage, drooling and making goo-goo eyes at his grinning parental units.

I was seated in the sideways seats, with my back to the windows, as was smartly dressed duh. FLK wanted to knee up onto the empty seat between me and duh so he can look out the window into the dark (presumably to view his own FLK reflection?). After 5 minutes of him kneeling up and kicking my thigh with his stompy boots, he shimmied down off the seat BY GRABBING MY LEFT THIGH IN BOTH HIS HOT GRASPY HANDS AND SLIDING DOWN ME LIKE I'M A FUCKING FIREHOUSE POLE. It took every ounce of my strength not to jump up and scream like I'd been scalded in an acid bath. I was in mid-conversation with my man at the time, and I just went rigid and clamped my eyes shut for a few seconds, peeling them open one at a time to peer at the hot-graspy-handed FLK who was by then whirling around bouncing off seat edges and door frames like Hurricane Hank. Parental units grinned their sparkly shiny-eyed grins like they were in love with the horrible thing.

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"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

I was babystalked in Bath and Body Works. It was the day after I got out of the hospital after having my hysterectomy. My fiance is helping me walk and Grandmoo keeps trying to get her FUGLY Grandbrat to say "hi" to me and wave. I ignore it. I wasn't in the mood to look over at it and roll my eyes. So, I just ignored it.

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What is a home without children? Quiet. ~Henny Youngman

I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ~George Balanchine

"I took the batteries out of my biological clock and put them in my vibrator"

WEIRD ENCOUNTER OF THE NOT SO BAD KIND!!!

Moo takes two of her loaves into the handicapped stall of the women's restroom. Her third (about five years old) was standing outside the door to the stall.

The little girl looks at me and in a clear, grown-up-sounding manner, tells me, "I don't need the restroom. That one is open, ma'am," pointing to an empty stall.

:hs

Against my will, I was actually charmed.

It's your hell; you rot in it!

I hate the "HI! HI! HI! HI!" thing so much. That said, looking full on Goth keeps the really little ones away.

Got babystalked today at a gathering with the co-workers. The person hosting has 3 dogs - being a dog lover I was on the floor petting them, giving them love and attention, and yes, talking to them. One of the mommies came to me with her toddler and started holding him out to me, but I kept my attention on the pups. She then "introduced" me to him, so finally I acknowledged them by commenting on how big he got in the past year (which IMO is doing plenty). She then proceeded to FOLLOW me around the house, holding the baby, remaining within less than a foot of me. I was SO relieved when other guests started to arrive, because they were actually interested in fawning over the kid - finally got her off my back. I get the vibe she was a bit disappointed that I didn't drop everything and worship her kid. Meanwhile I'm disappointed that as a female I'm expected to do so.

Got teenager stalked this morning! I was at the grocery stocking up for the 24 hour shift. I see a moo an surly looking teen obviously getting hauled off to the unwanted summer job (kid had on a tie). Moo must of borrowed some change for the kid but she waited until I was in line and then started well yelling "You're the bet on in the world" while shooting glances back my way. Sort of like "you're old enough to be his dad he needs a male role model."

eyes2

Lady I don't care and by the looks of it neither does Bratley. Beside that the poo kid is wearing a tie just buy your stuff and quit embarrassing the kid.

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“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

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invader kim
Got babystalked today at a gathering with the co-workers. The person hosting has 3 dogs - being a dog lover I was on the floor petting them, giving them love and attention, and yes, talking to them. One of the mommies came to me with her toddler and started holding him out to me, but I kept my attention on the pups. She then "introduced" me to him, so finally I acknowledged them by commenting on how big he got in the past year (which IMO is doing plenty). She then proceeded to FOLLOW me around the house, holding the baby, remaining within less than a foot of me. I was SO relieved when other guests started to arrive, because they were actually interested in fawning over the kid - finally got her off my back. I get the vibe she was a bit disappointed that I didn't drop everything and worship her kid. Meanwhile I'm disappointed that as a female I'm expected to do so.

OMG that really sucks.

Got baby-stalked twice at Dollar Ghetto last week.

I passed by a totsnot who was waiting in line with his/her/it siblings and handlers. The snot poked me in the thigh with some light-up gumball thingy. I glared down at it. The snot smiled at me. So did the handlers. I really hate being poked, but I knew I wasn't about to get an apology. Oh, noes. Not for something 'adorable'. I was a few feet away when the totsnot poked me again and ran off, giggling. After these moos-to-be moved their fat behinds out of the way, I got in the spaghetti/rice aisle.

This infant snot walked over to me. Didn't say anything. Just stared. Followed me around. I ignored it. Infant snot started whining because I wasn't acknowledging his presence. I'm not his moo. Go away. I walked away in a hurry as if the infant snot was a bomb. Baby started wailing. Breeder sympathizers that watched this kid following me around said I was mean. Finally the baby daddy came from the front of the store and went to collect his kid. Dude said something to me, but I didn't register it. He looked angry. For what? I didn't touch the kid. I didn't snatch him. I ignored him. But how dare I shatter his spirit?! * sobs * The baby daddy carried the infant to the front of the store. When I came to check-out, I got comments that I should have played with the snot. I wasn't aware I was a kid's plaything. I'm bright but I'm not a plastic, shiny thing.

I'm currently embroiled in a nasty neighborhood drama with a neighbor I've known, and cared for in a friendly way until now, for the past four years. He's an odd duck, but he seemed intelligent and friendly enough.

But now things have gotten ugly and I've done a little online research and truly believe he is a pathological liar and narcissist.

You're wondering why I'm posting this here. It's because he uses his service animal (dog) to "dogstalk" people. By himself, he's not all that interesting, but when he has his dog with him, which is most of the time, and anywhere because its a "service animal", he uses the cute pup to lure people in so he can size them up and see what he can "get" from them.

I've seen him refer to the dog, when people approach him, as "his son". When he used to come and socialize with us, he would constantly pester DH or I to pay attention to his dog, or tell everyone how great the dog is. The dog is older and diabetic and is coming to his end years. His owner, the liar, has said in both my and DH's presence that he's going to kill himself when the dog dies. I used to care and made an initial phone call to the VA where he is undergoing treatment for esophogeal cancer (which he is mostly recovered from) to maybe get his medical provider to monitor his meds, as he mixes large amounts of alcohol with multple doses of powerful narcotics). As of now, I'm taking an arm's length approach as he has threatened DH and I with violence. Why? Because I asked if he could throw some water on my community garden plot on a day that was to be hot and I was laid up with back spasms.

Ultimately, the dog is cute and he will be missed, but now, I'm kind of hoping Mr. Liar will follow through with his own "end plan" when said pup passes. Does that make me an awful prson? I normally wouldn't care, but he has now started to instigate lies about DH and I around the neighborhood.

I'm sorry if this is in the wrong place, but I got "dogstalked" and sucked into a "friendship" with this lying sack of shit. It's very upsetting, especially when he caused a brief alienation between my lovely next door neighbors, who now see him for the lying drunkard narcissistic asshole that he really is.

When I see my neighbor I find IMMEDIATE reasons to go in the house. Non-existent phones, for example. Beans on the stove. ANYTHING.

I don't "find" reasons (I don't have a neighbor who baby-stalks me either). When I want to get away from someone, I say "I have to go now" or "I've had enough of this, good-bye".

Works for a lot of other things, too, not just baby-stalking.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

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SlumSlut
I don't "find" reasons (I don't have a neighbor who baby-stalks me either). When I want to get away from someone, I say "I have to go now" or "I've had enough of this, good-bye".

Works for a lot of other things, too, not just baby-stalking.

Here is wisdom. Hell, I'm surprised anyone approaches me anyway.