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Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk

Posted by SlumSlut 
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juliewashere88
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 01, 2011
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yurble
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juliewashere88
Then I'd probably go way back in time with some modern weapons, tanks, and airplanes and conquer Rome or something, just because. ... I should really play Civilization.

... I've gotten way off topic.

It's really a tangent, but I've always wanted to go back into early recorded history with a modern army and conquer the world.

So I'm not the only one! :beer

It is really unfair, but the thought of it is fun. Like going back in time to your grade school days with your current strength and beating up all kids you didn't like.
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thom_c
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 01, 2011
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juliewashere88
I swear, my main purpose for a time machine would just be to go back in time and stand up for myself more and take people to task on their bulshit with the advantages of my expanded vocabulary, more insightful thoughts, and newly grown spine.

Then I'd probably go way back in time with some modern weapons, tanks, and airplanes and conquer Rome or something, just because. ... I should really play Civilization.

... I've gotten way off topic.


ROME SHALL FALL BEFORE MY PANZER TANKS AND MY ARMY OF VICIOUS WEINER DOGS!!!!!!!

CRY HAVOC AND LET SLIP THE POODLES OF WAR!

_______________________________________________
“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”
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Anonymous User
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 02, 2011
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thom_c
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Snark Shark
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juliewashere88
I swear, my main purpose for a time machine would just be to go back in time and stand up for myself more and take people to task on their bulshit with the advantages of my expanded vocabulary, more insightful thoughts, and newly grown spine.

Then I'd probably go way back in time with some modern weapons, tanks, and airplanes and conquer Rome or something, just because. ... I should really play Civilization.

... I've gotten way off topic.


ROME SHALL FALL BEFORE MY PANZER TANKS AND MY ARMY OF VICIOUS WEINER DOGS!!!!!!!


CRY HAVOC AND LET SLIP THE POODLES OF WAR!

THEY CAN TAKE OUR LIVES, BUT THEY CAN NEVER TAKE OUR RIDICOULSLY SMALL DOGS!
ALL BOW BEFORE TEH WIN AND AWESOME OF THE TEACUP YORKIE HORDES!
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CFBitchfromLA
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 02, 2011
Been babystalked more than I could imagine, mostly by the divorced or single male breeders who want to show off their crotchtarts like anyone really gives a damn. Babystalking by women in LA is mostly from the geezer breeder set, who are eager to show their gonads still work even if chemically enhanced. Got chased all over a store by some 40+ moo who just kept trying to get me to react to her butt-fugly fleshloaf squalling in one of those expensive mile-wide strollers.

At another board, there was a poster who once commented that a grandmoo said to him/her, "aren't you even going to say the baybee is cyoote?" I would have vomited all over the idjit grandmoo.
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KitsNotKids
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 03, 2011
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CFBitchfromLA
Been babystalked more than I could imagine, mostly by the divorced or single male breeders who want to show off their crotchtarts like anyone really gives a damn. Babystalking by women in LA is mostly from the geezer breeder set, who are eager to show their gonads still work even if chemically enhanced. Got chased all over a store by some 40+ moo who just kept trying to get me to react to her butt-fugly fleshloaf squalling in one of those expensive mile-wide strollers.

At another board, there was a poster who once commented that a grandmoo said to him/her, "aren't you even going to say the baybee is cyoote?" I would have vomited all over the idjit grandmoo.

"No. Because it looks like a fucking angry overcooked potato."

Why is it that all baybeez look like spuds? Anyone else noticed that?
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felisdomestica
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 04, 2011
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I've always wondered how a human child can be so secure in its world as to do that, and why this trait hasn't become extinct. Humans did have predators for most of our history (Can you picture a toddler grabbing the leg of a sabre-tooth tiger for balance? Neither can I.) and we're also pretty adept at killing our own species. Most baby animals know enough to stay away from others of their species (especially the males they aren't related to), and baby humans go around just randomly grabbing at other people.

this just furthers my belief that toddlers are all RETARDS.

it might be a part of natural selection process.

spread meme, not genes

to my uterus: Y U NO GET THE FUCK OUT FROM MY BODY?
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juliewashere88
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 05, 2011
I'm not sure if this counts as a babystalk as no baby was actually present...

Yesterday, my BF and I went to grab a meal at a nice, local burger place. Nothing fancy, but not McDonald's.

When we get there, the waitress seats us and before even taking our drink order, tells us how tired she is from taking care of 5 kids, 3 which she was babysitting and 2 that were her own. I don't know why she brought this up at all, but I didn't mind much. I guess that she was expecting me to ask about her kids or something, but I'm not interested in the personal lives of waitresses (I exchange pleasantries, but strangers shouldn't bore each-other with their trivial day-to-day lives.) She went on to rattle off the ages of the kids, although no one asked.

My BF, being a bit more vocal than me, says that he know how to handle kids. Apparently, she was not expecting him to recommend a kennel. After a stunned silence, she laughed it off as a joke (Thankfully. I just didn't want my food spat in.) Of course it must have been a joke. Everyone likes kids! She asked my BF if he had a kid, to which he of course answered no. She asked about playing catch, for some reason, to which my BF and I pantomimed throwing a child back and fourth. Eventually, she got the message and took our order.

I wouldn't have thought much of it, but I heard her loudly announce that she was a mom at two other tables she served. "I'm a mom!" Maybe she was just trying to elicit better tips, but I think she was mostly fishing for conversation about her kids.

Boy, did she go to the wrong table for it.
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Anonymous User
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 05, 2011
Ugh. The annoying grosses me out.
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blueorchid
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 15, 2011
I was sort of babystalked a few days ago; There's this small mall which is a 15-minute walk from my place that, among other things, has a bank, dollar store and grocery store...it's really convenient. However, it also has a small, cheap movie theater that almost exclusively plays kid movies. Le sigh. You can imagine how often there's a bunch of little brats running around (I posted a while back about my DF yelling at a bunch of moos and their loud kids to shut the fuck up in the same mall).

Anyway, I was walking up to one of the entrances...it's sort of a big glass wall of doors. Before I entered, I could see a little girl-brat, probably around 4 years old, dancing around in that stupid attention-whoring way they do. A lot of elderly people in the area take a chartered bus to this mall every few days to do their shopping, so it annoys me even more when stupid parents let their brats tear around the place. Back to my story though, just as I was approaching the door, the dancing turd stopped what she was doing and stared at me for a second. As soon as I opened the door and started walking in, she runs RIGHT in front of me and starts doing the 'look what I can do' dance. I tried to sort of dodge her but she continued to get RIGHT in my way. I stomped my foot, shook my head at her and brushed by, almost knocking her over. Of course, moo was nowhere in sight.

I kind of wish I had tripped over the kid, knocked her down and she had started screaming. I'd love the opportunity to confront some bitchy moo over me not bowing down to her almighty vagina vomit.
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HollyLeaves
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 17, 2011
I'm mostly a lurker, but lately I've been getting more and more annoyed at people. Yesterday, husband and I were at a little diner in the foothills of the Cascade mountains. We go there quite often when going across the Pass, but either they've just recently started doing a Sunday brunch buffet or we've just never been there at that particular time. We haven't seen kids there very often, and it's usually very peaceful, so yesterday was a bit sad to walk in and see so many kids. It's pretty the last place to eat for quite a while, and we were hungry, so we decided to stay.

We were seated so that my seat was catty-corner to one family that had duh, moo, two kids, and grandduh/grandmoo. Boy child was being a brat and only eating cinnamon rolls ("off his sister's [buffet] plate" as duh declared so, of course, he shouldn't be charged for boy child's breakfast; by that reasoning, I shouldn't have to pay for my buffet either because I'm just eating off of husband's buffet plate. I could understand duh asking for a discount since boy child only ate (several) cinnamon rolls, but it was the "off his sister's plate" comment that annoyed me, but I digress). This meant that boy child was free for moo and grandmoo to use him for baby (actually small child) stalking since he didn't need to sit down and could wander around the resaturant/sit in their laps/keep getting in the way of the buffet/etc. while eating the rolls. Moo and grandmoo kept using that Voice (you know the one, in theory for only the family to hear, but in reality pitched so the whole place can notice, hear and not block out) to say things like "well, what does my handsome little man want?" "You are just the most adorable little boy in the world! (with rising pitch on the 'in the world' till almost a pig squeal)." I hate that Voice; it's like nails on a chalkboard. Moo/grandmoo kept giving me the side-glance to see if I was noticing and just kept esclating the exclamations of cuteness because I would not directly look over (could see enough out of my peripheral vision). We had to listen to this the entire meal because they just would. not. stop. How can it possibly be entertaining for a whole meal to try to get someone to notice your spawn? Is it just that necessary to disrupt a whole restaurant for that? If no one is giving you the attention you crave, maybe it's time to STFU and try again somewhere else.

Bonus: they ended up leaving right before we did and made a pit stop to the bathroom (yes, moo and grandmoo took boy child into the women's restroom - don't get me started on that) where they totally clogged up the toilet - and not just a "normal" clog. It was pretty clear that one of them filled the toilet, dumped in a bunch of TP and it wouldn't flush, then at least one other ones shat on top of that and added another round of way too much TP (restaurant is on septic, so it's never a good idea to overdo it there). Toilet was totally full TO THE ABSOLUTE RIM. Gross. I felt terrible for the poor person who had to go clean that up.
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zeropop
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 23, 2011
I got babystalked today at work... by the kyd itself.

I was ringing up a moo and her brat (looked about preschool age). Bratley shoved a fake spider into my hands and squealed "LOOK!" I gave the spider back, without comment. The whole time, the kyd kept trying to talk to me and even poked my arm a few times, to get my attention. Moo didn't even bother with the falsely-sweet, "Ooh, sweetie, leave the nice lady alone" crap that some people do. I did as little as possible to acknowledge the kid; he didn't seem to understand why someone wouldn't want to gush over him.
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raindancemaggie
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 26, 2011
I got babystalked at the State Fair. Someone's Snotleigh was pounding on my lower back with her fists while I was sitting down to eat. I turn around and the whole table is smiling at me.

So I got up, walked over to duh and moo and told them "if your fuck trophy touches me one more time, I am turning your glasses into contacts. Control the little puke."

After that, all the moo says is "Someone is crabby. Don't repeat those words, dear."

Needless to say my boyfriend and I moved seats.

A child does not belong in the microbrew tent anyways.
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felisdomestica
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 26, 2011
i thought i'd never encounter a typical nasty ass breeder family as close as this in my real life before. i was wrong.

this evening, my boyfriend and i ate in a fast-food joint (fatty, salty, rich food with relatively low price is a savory for college students lol) when a family joined the table next to us. there are three adults: duh, moo, another woman, with four kids; three little shitlings and one teenager.
i could be more careless about them, but i'm not in my best mood myself and they are so fucking loud they can't go unnoticeable.

first, they order too much so much food for a group of seven. practically their table is stacked with handful of packaged white rice, pieces of fried chicken, cups of soda drink, and bowls of desserts as if they were celebrating something there. there are literally no space left on the table. the duh probably spent half of his recently earned monthly salary tonight to prove that he can feed and provide for the famblee.
they talked and laughed so loudly to each other they are rude to the waiter, especially the lard ass duh and who sat next to me.

this group seemed to be truly fascinated with our presence. i don't know what's so interesting about us. basically we're literally very normal looking, exchanging completely normal conversation.
the duh, the moo, and one specifically annoying shitling were caught staring at me several times already. i gave them evil glances for that. oh don't they think i don't realize them politely staring at me! it is so obvious since the duh was right next to me and the moo sat right in front of the duh! from their polite stares and politely obvious whispering activities, i can tell there's something about me that goes unnoticed by normal people, but is disturbing to them. confused smiley

one of the shitling couldn't stop talking either, until at one time he pointed at me and exclaimed 'tee hee scary looking woman ghost' or something like that. the duh and the rest of the table politely turned their heads to me, nodded, then laughed loudly. the shitling proceeded to mock me like that through the dinner session.

well, i hope that kid meets me in his dream tonight

i mean, really? what have i done to deserve this? i don't even know them, i am just trying to have a nice fast food meal after a fucking long week, and these trashy people ruined my mood even more, duh. what a bunch of trashy breeders. cutting a smiley with a chainsawfuck
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blueorchid
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 26, 2011
You didn't do anything to deserve that. You certainly handled it much more passively than I would have.

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felisdomestica
well, i hope that kid meets me in his dream tonight

HA! I like that. thumbs upwink
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KitsNotKids
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 26, 2011
Probably just never seen an adult female who's beef curtains don't whistle when she moves, felisdomestica.
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raindancemaggie
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 26, 2011
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KitsNotKids
Probably just never seen an adult female who's beef curtains don't whistle when she moves, felisdomestica.

waving hellolarious
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raindancemaggie
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 26, 2011
So I'm at Target earlier today and a moo is letting her brat attempt to push the cart. They were behind me through most of the store, and the kyd kept shouting "Hi!" at me. Of course, I had headphones on and didn't respond. (I tend to wear headphones in kyd-infested stores.) The damn brat cut me off with the cart as I was heading to the checkout and my walking boot got stuck, I tripped, and my left shoe squeaked against the floor. The moo tells the kyd to say sorry, and she does. I kept walking . . . I had other shit to do and was in a hurry. Then she says, "Someone's crabby."

(Why do moos always say that shit about me? I wasn't crabby until your kyd got in my way.)

So I turned around and I was like, "Yes, I am crabby. I just had surgery a fucking week ago and your dumb ass rugrat almost made me bust my ass in the store." (Aside: I'm no longer nice to moos at all. They can all suck it.)

"Honey, don't repeat those awful words the mean lady just said."

She proceeded to follow me to the checkout and admonish me for "being so rude to a precious little kid."

YOUR SHOULDA-BEEN-A-SHEETSTAIN SNOTLEIGH IS NOT PRECIOUS. Moocunt.


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felisdomestica
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 26, 2011
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blueorchid
You didn't do anything to deserve that. You certainly handled it much more passively than I would have.

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felisdomestica
well, i hope that kid meets me in his dream tonight

HA! I like that. thumbs upwink

i want to rip the lard ass duh a new asshole. he's the one who caught stared and laughed at me most frequent.
i want to make a delicious pan of soup out of the rancid kyd. i'll make him never laugh anymore for the rest of his pathetic, hellish life. i hope they all get cardiovascular diseases from the enormous amount of lard and sugar they'd been shoving up their ass for the last half hour last night.

these kind of thoughts forced me to not say anything. i could blow off so bad and attract unwanted attention from the whole restaurant moody smiley

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KitsNotKids
Probably just never seen an adult female who's beef curtains don't whistle when she moves, felisdomestica.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!
that doesn't matter, i'm sure he loves whistling beef curtains.
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felisdomestica
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 26, 2011
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raindancemaggie

(Why do moos always say that shit about me? I wasn't crabby until your kyd got in my way.)

So I turned around and I was like, "Yes, I am crabby. I just had surgery a fucking week ago and your dumb ass rugrat almost made me bust my ass in the store." (Aside: I'm no longer nice to moos at all. They can all suck it.)

She proceeded to follow me to the checkout and admonish me for "being so rude to a precious little kid."

you are so cool! i adore you!!
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jezebel_daisy
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
October 28, 2011
So, today I went to the mall. 11 am on a Thursday. The mall is PACKED full of school age kids. It's not at PA day, not a holiday...WTF?? GO TO SCHOOL!! Stupid fucking parents!! It was brat mayhem everywhere you looked. UG. Needless to say I spent about 5 minutes in there before I had to abandon my plans for a little browse around. I'd sooner stick a fork in my eye then deal with that.
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myrna minkoff
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
November 07, 2011
that cartoon is awesome. it made me laugh-snort hot tea on my laptop. spewing water due to laughing
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cosmictraveler
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
November 09, 2011
I LOL'ed at the comic! grinning smiley It's awesome! I was babystalked when I worked in a cafe inside of a community college, where a divorced duh who had been trying to befriend me because obviously he had a crush on me, was trying to woo me with the fact that he had chyldryn from a previous marriage. I already thought the guy was annoying as fuck and repugnant, but since it was my work it was an awkward situation. Him bringing up his baybees was the perfect opportunity to make sure he never bugged me again. It was awesome when I told him that I don't like kyds. The crestfallen look on his face when his ploy to impress me with his crotchfruit failed was priceless! Suddenly he was coming into the cafe a lot less and being way less talkative with me when he did! tongue sticking out smiley Not long after this incident I began dating my amazing fiance who hates kyds as much as I do! grinning smiley Hooray!
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crazycatlady
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
November 14, 2011
My hubby and I were at a meeting for our religion yesterday. The kid in the row in front of us was coughing and not covering his mouth. He was turning around in his chair staring at us, then he was getting out of his row and rocking side to side in the aisle while holding onto a booger encrusted tissue. Then he started touching the latch on hubby's briefcase. Hubby swatted his hand with his papers. The turd reached for the buckle again, and I took the bag over to my seat so he couldn't reach. Then the kid leaned his hand on my hubby's knee, and my hubby swatted his hand again. I leaned over and nudged the kid back towards his row and whispered to him to go sit down. Hubby whispered to me not to touch him, because he is a germ infested petri dish. I almost snorted with laughter loudly.

By the way, all this time, the mom is completely ignoring that her bratling is annoying the people behind her, and smiling at her stupid kid on the rare moments she chooses to acknowledge him. The mom was also coughing a lot, not covering her mouth either. We finally just got up and left. It was so distracting that it was impossible to even get anything out of the meeting. We knew it wasn't going to stop so we just went home to work on the house. Lo and behold, later on that night, I got a sore throat, and now I am sick. Hubby feels sick too.

I just don't understand why parents feel the need to bring their sick selves and their sick children to places where large amounts of people gather. What is even more irritating is that they don't even have to miss the meeting! Our congregation has a telephone tie in so anyone can listen from anywhere. So if you're sick, stay home, don't come in and cough all over everyone! And I know this stupid mom was letting her little brat harrass us because "it's so cuuuuute!" No way! Keep that infested thing away from us!
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Anonymous User
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
November 14, 2011
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crazycatlady
By the way, all this time, the mom is completely ignoring that her bratling is annoying the people behind her, and smiling at her stupid kid on the rare moments she chooses to acknowledge him. The mom was also coughing a lot, not covering her mouth either. We finally just got up and left. It was so distracting that it was impossible to even get anything out of the meeting.

I think at that point, I would start crossing and un-crossing my legs while kicking the moo's chair each time. And if the bitch dares to say anything, I would tell her that I had Restless Legs Syndrome (or insert other "trendy" disease here) and that it is not my fault.
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crazycatlady
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
November 14, 2011
haha. My hubby really does have it, so we could have done that! It doesn't matter anyway, we still both got sick. Frustrating. I wanted to duct tape that kid in his seat so he couldn't get up or turn around. Or aim his coughing mouth at his mom's face and tape his head back to the chair like that. How do you YOU like it? Oh yeah, you are just as gross as he is anyway so you probably don't care about wallowing in filth all day long.
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