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Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk

Posted by SlumSlut 
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 15, 2013
I remember when I was young. My parents had several friends and we knew several people at church who didn't have kids... and most were in their 40's or older so they never did have any. I remember asking something about it and my mother would whisper like it was something wrong.."Oh, they were probably unable to have them" Thinking about it now I wonder how many of them really didn't want them. CFness was not heard of back then... but CLness... oh yeah. Nobody back then admitted that they didn't WANT them. It was just kind of not talked about.
My godparents were either childless or childfree. They were wonderful people, they loved animals, they had a koi pond, a couple dogs, some of which had disabilities, a missing leg, blind etc due to illness I think. They had a bunch of cats too and they took such good care of them. I also have a cf/cl uncle not sure which...and lots of cousins in their late 30s with no kids not sure if they ever will. Maybe it's not such a bag thing that they ask, because it might help them realize that they don't have to have kids.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
March 25, 2013
So I'm sharing a story about how to NOT babystalk.

So I work security at a major company that handles DOD contracts (meaning I get paid VERY well for relatively little.) I spend most of my day at the front desk, watching people come in and out. After hours, when everyone's home, I'm free to surf Youtube or whatever. It's easy.

Anyway, my site manager recently had a baby. She never made a big deal about it during pregnancy. Sure it came up, but no more than anyone would mention anything else in their lives. She took a short vacation and was back to work without complaint.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, I was working at a building away from the main sites. It was after hours and during a crew-change, so there wasn't much going on. Then my manager came in, carrying her sleeping baby in a carrier. She just came in to talk to us about work and drop off some papers. The guard that I was relieving commented on her baby being cute. She simply thanked him and it didn't turn into a big fawn-fest. She commented that she normally wouldn't bring the baby along (and she doesn't) but she's off-work, had just picked the baby up from wherever it had been, and just wanted to drop some papers off real quick on her way home.

Then she looked at me and said, "do you want to see her?" She was holding the baby-carrier by the handle, so I couldn't normally see the baby from my side of the desk. I said "sure" and only then did she lift the carrier up, and she did so without fishing for compliments, doing that annoying baby talk thing, or shoving the entire carriage in my face. It was respectable. I made some comment about the baby looking like her, and we went back to talking about work. She didn't stick around long, and the baby slept the entire time and didn't cause any problems.

This is a post more directed at any baby-stalking parents who might be lurking. Yes, it IS possible to have a new baby without using it to get attention.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
April 08, 2013
We were baby stalked yesterday during one of the drag shows at Pride, a couple of breeders had a freshly hatched loaf and a toadler and kept trying to pass the loaf around while the toadler was allowed to run around shrieking. I think I'm going to get an "I eat babies" t-shirt with rainbow letters and maybe some glitter for Pride next year so the breeders stay the hell away from me.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
April 12, 2013
Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Today I sucked it up and did my grocery run at Wal Mart. Fat, sloppy moo with very fug newborn babby is literally FOLLOWING me around the produce section. I'm ignoring her so then she decides she has to up the ante. I'm NOT in the mood for this shit on the best of days and I've had a crap day so I have no nerves left...
Moo coos "She's only 6 days old!" at me. I don't respond. Does she take the hint? Nope!
"Her name is Kirya". I roll my eyes, say nothing and move my cart down the next row. She fucking FOLLOWS me and then tells me that "It's her first time out!". Finally I snapped "Do you want a medal or something? GOD!" and pretty much ran away from the (now speechless) Moo.
FFS!!
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
April 12, 2013
Good for you Jezebel, for putting that halfwit in her place! Ha ha! That oughta learn her! waving hellolarious

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I hit the Dollar General on the way home from work. I was suffering mightily with a sinus/bad allergy situation. I was too broke to go elsewhere to get my decongestants so I went there. There was a little girl in there about 8 yrs old and she literally would not stop following me all over the store.

She kept walking in front of me, coming up behind me and being a pain in my ass. Finally after the 3rd time of this, I just flat out stated firmly "Get the fuck away from me! I'm not your mother! Go find yours!" Needless to say, the little pain in my ass did just that. She vanished and I braced myself to deal with her moo. Luckily, that didn't happen.

It's always when I'm in my least best mood is when I have the assholes of the world coming at me. Always when I just want to get in and out quickly but one can't do that when one has to deal with assholes that push some kind of agenda on you. They NEED validation so badly that they don't give a shit where they get it from. I don't do that to people out in public. I do my thing and leave others the hell alone as it should be. I get enough attention elsewhere without begging for it from total strangers.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
April 17, 2013
Ew! that thing would probably have hit your dog and then mootard would have sued if your poor dog tried to defend himself.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
April 17, 2013
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crazycatlady
Ew! that thing would probably have hit your dog and then mootard would have sued if your poor dog tried to defend himself.
Yeah, if spaz-loaf doesn't know that you don't pat with a stick then he better leave a wide berth around me & mine.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
April 21, 2013
Ohh, I just hate when that happens, Sharky. My dog has never bitten anyone, but I sure as hell don't want to have there be a first time and me get sued because someone's brat touched my dog without my permission. WTF is wrong with these parents. They're more concerned that no one's gonna tell their chyuwld NO and not even concerned that Turdley might get bitten. Not that my main concern is for the chyuwld's welfare, but more like concern for my dog's welfare. I'm not taking the chance that she's going to be taken from me and "destroyed" because "once a dog has tasted blood...".
Mmmmm. Spam tastes almost as awesome as roasted troll.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
April 25, 2013
Oh my goodness last night's experience at a restaurant made me think of you guys. It's been a while since I posted (I usually just lurk) but I need to get this out because it was SO infuriating.

Husband and I are approaching our anniversary (It's this weekend), we usually don't go out on weekend nights though because restaurants are overcrowded and noisy. So we decided to go out on a Wednesday instead. Apparently everyone had the same idea because the restaurant we went to was PACKED. I suppose we asked for it because it was a middle of the road Tex Mex place (not Chili's, blech) but the husband loves his Tex Mex so who was I to say no when he suggested it.

We were seated at a 2-top near by the booth areas. As soon as we sit down we hear the SHRIEKING. This wasn't "quietly fussing" or just kyds talking with a normal tone of voice. Every 10 seconds or so the toadler brat at the table behind us would shriek so loud that I felt it reverberate in the already loud restaurant. The duh just kept muttering "shhh Aydyn" or "indoor voice" and of course every time duh said something another loud SHRIEK would rip through the place.

He also kept looking around at people every time he tried to gently discipline his spawn. I suppose he was looking for smiles or nods of approval or something.

Half way through our meal they left but my eardrums were quite the worse for wear after that.
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Snark Shark
TRAILER PARK WELFARE WHORE ASS.

I love this! I nearly shit myself with laughter when I read that. waving hellolarious Giggle fit, yay!
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
May 04, 2013
Was having my car serviced earlier today. It was easily a 7 hr process due to some warranty work that needed to be done. I walked all over the dealership lot as well as settled down in a quiet spot to have a bottle of water and some crackers. Well, of course, I couldn't have that short burst of time uninterrupted, could I? Of course not. Not with loud-talker moomie who literally came out of nowhere and stood 10 feet away from me, loudly babbling to her kyd about all manner of inane BS. Apparently, she was waiting to have her car worked on or some such.

She was standing close to a golfcart, like the ones the salesguys use to bring customers to test drive cars. The conversation was something like this "See the golfcart? You can't ride on that, no that's too big for you." This kid was a baby, not a toddler. I doubt the baybee even understood any of her nonstop babbling. She repeated this sentence about 4 times in a row.

The look I gave her could have split a rock as I grabbed all my stuff and stalked away. In my departure, I stated "Sorry, not interested in you or your kid! Bye!" Needless to say, Needy Look-At-Me Babystalker didn't follow me.

It never fails. God forbid should a woman ever be alone in any setting without the invasion of some needy attention-whore. I wasn't in the best of moods to begin with; I was having to shell out a substantial amount of money to get my car fixed and the last thing I really wanted to deal with was some needy moo and her agenda.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
May 08, 2013
Don't ya'll just love when a moo or duh makes a trip to the grocery store a 'learning opportunity'?? I ran into two of those moos just today in one trip to one store. First fat ass moo was trying to teach snotleigh how to pronounce every freekin thing in the produce section. She'd look over in my dirrection (I could see in my periferal vision) and I was ignoring her. She continued...and it felt as if she followed me throught the deli section to the bakery. That's when I took off to find a card for a friend. Last I saw of fat moo was when she was at the fresh pastery case teaching snotleigh about donuts ... and filling a bag full.

Thought I was done with that and.... about 5 minutes later... in the meat section... there was another moo doing the same thing. Teaching Travisty the cuts of meat. WTF?? I walked by quickly on my way to dairy. Next thing I knew... there they were... learning the flavors of yogurt. ACK!!!

Why can't they teach them at home while they unpack their various crap? The rest of us don't give a FF about your 'learning moments'
For some reason, this reminds me of something that happened to me at work a while back. I don't know if this falls under baby stalking, bingoing, or somewhere in between though.

So I was cashing a customer out at work one day, and we started chatting about those idiots who think they are on "extreme couponing", and how they think they have to buy every fucking item that is on sale in mass quantities. I was telling this woman how I went to my local grocery store earlier that week just to buy a few boxes of blueberry, unfrosted pop-tarts. Those things are like crack to me, and I was eating at least 3 packages in a day, at one point in time.

Anyway, when I went to the pop-tart aisle, lo and behold, there were no boxes of them at all! They were on sale, and the fucking shelf was completely bare! This pissed me off to no end; all I wanted were just two boxes of pop-tarts, not an army of them. As I was regaling my tale of woe to the customer, I ended the story with, " Who needs 15 boxes of pop-tarts?", to which she said, (obviously directed at me in an implying way), "I know, because those are for my kids to eat for breakfast, right?." I was honestly so taken aback by her comment that I didn't even have time to think about how to react to it. By the time I realized what the hell had just happened, I was really pissed off at this woman for making her own assumptions.

Seriously, this woman assumed that just because I am in my twenties, wait tables, and mentioned buying pop-tarts that I am some single fucking moo struggling to feed my idiot kids! Oh hells no! I guess what I'm getting at is the whole "waitress=single moo" stereotype annoys me to death, and I wish it would just die already.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
May 11, 2013
I got babystalked at my cousin's college graduation today. It was held in an arena with stadium seating, and the family sitting in the row in front of/below me were obnoxious fuckers. They had a toddler with them, and encouraged him to stand on his seat and dance around the entire time. Before the ceremony started, I was sending a text message to my friend, when I realized that the kid was right in front of my face. The stupid bitch of a mother (who was sitting in the seat in front of me) was holding the kid up to me. She kept staring at me. I just glared at her and refused to say a word to her or the brat.

About five minutes later I was looking through the program, and I felt something touch my leg. The brat was reaching over his seat grabbing at my skirt with his sticky, grubby hands. The stupid bitch of a mother was watching and laughing, under the incorrect assumption that I also found it cute. I yelled at her to keep her kid under control. This must be the first time anyone's said that to her, because she looked absolutely shocked. What a dumb cunt.
Not sure if this is babystalking, but have you ever tried to eat a meal quietly while the kid in the next booth peers over the seat? It usually takes the handlers several minutes to get the kid to stop if they do it at all.

It only happens rarely at the restaurants where I'm a regular, so I try not to hurt their business/the waiter's tip by saying anything to the kid. I have, however, asked to move.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
May 15, 2013
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fluffypersian
Not sure if this is babystalking, but have you ever tried to eat a meal quietly while the kid in the next booth peers over the seat? It usually takes the handlers several minutes to get the kid to stop if they do it at all.

It only happens rarely at the restaurants where I'm a regular, so I try not to hurt their business/the waiter's tip by saying anything to the kid. I have, however, asked to move.

Yes, that was baby stalking. Baby stalking is when a moo or duh uses thier spawn to get attention from random strangers. In the case you described the brat was old enough to stalk without help from it's supposed handlers.

Slightly off topic but I was just like you once. I was polite. I was decent. I was lady like. That all changed when one of my neighbors decided to call me Satan's Bitch as a bad joke and I decided to run with it. If you think the server's tip is going to be hurt by your reaction may I suggest that you leave a larger tip than you normally would??? That's what I always do. You have every right to go about your business and eat your meal in peace. Even if you don't feel you can say anything you can still give the breeders and brats a look that clearly says "I hate your guts and wish you would just die." That's what I've been doing for a couple of years now. It works really well.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
May 15, 2013
I was also 'lady like' in my younger days. Now I really don't care. If these people are going to get in my face then I will, move, shoot a look, say something to them.... whatever I need to do. I had a friend who told me on my 60th birthday (about a month ago) that "once you get in your 60's your true personality starts to come out. If you are really nice then you'll still be nice...but if there's any 'bitch' down in there... it's gonna come out." LOL
Don't know where she got that at...but I have noticed that I have been saying more of what I think in the past few years.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
May 17, 2013
Driving to town yesterday there was somebody holding a child over a wall so it could wave at passing traffic. I think it was a woman all I could see were some arms.
saying 'wtf'
I had many baystalks, but right now I remember the ones with my dog. I have a dog named Tali (kudoz if you know from where I got the name). She's a very playful and social blue-eyed beagle-terrier mix, so she is pretty popular amongst people. In short, she es cute as a button, so she attracts a lot of attention, wanted or unwanted.

One time when when i was walking her around the park, we crossed paths with a fambly that had a 2 years old loaf. Since my dog is very they went near when they called and I allowed it at first, moo and duh petted her like normal people, but not the loaf, se started to squeeze her with her little paws, so my dog ended running behind me. I told them that she probably didn't liked that and I walked away.

The other one didn't happen to actually, happened to my mother. One day she took her when she went to buy some groceries and on the way back she stopped to buy something for lunch. While she waited some turd started to try to hit my dog with my stick while loaf's moo wasn't nowhere near, probably was eating something nearby. So my mom told him that id he hitted [my dog] she would bite him, and if she didn't then [my mother] would. She told me that he stopped trying after that. Luckily I wasn't nearby, because id I would have been there I would have given that little cunturd a good-old kick the moment he laid a finger on my dog.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
May 21, 2013
master kyle- Your dog is ADORABLE!!!grinning smiley

~~~~~~~~~~~
I miss my little feather baby.
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master kyle
I had many baystalks, but right now I remember the ones with my dog. I have a dog named Tali (kudoz if you know from where I got the name). She's a very playful and social blue-eyed beagle-terrier mix, so she is pretty popular amongst people. In short, she es cute as a button, so she attracts a lot of attention, wanted or unwanted.

One time when when i was walking her around the park, we crossed paths with a fambly that had a 2 years old loaf. Since my dog is very they went near when they called and I allowed it at first, moo and duh petted her like normal people, but not the loaf, se started to squeeze her with her little paws, so my dog ended running behind me. I told them that she probably didn't liked that and I walked away.

The other one didn't happen to actually, happened to my mother. One day she took her when she went to buy some groceries and on the way back she stopped to buy something for lunch. While she waited some turd started to try to hit my dog with my stick while loaf's moo wasn't nowhere near, probably was eating something nearby. So my mom told him that id he hitted [my dog] she would bite him, and if she didn't then [my mother] would. She told me that he stopped trying after that. Luckily I wasn't nearby, because id I would have been there I would have given that little cunturd a good-old kick the moment he laid a finger on my dog.

You're referencing the "Mass Effect" series if I am correct.

I also love your Oblivion signature.
@Drake: I know. She's the sweetest dog I've ever had.

Now I remember more cases of babystalk. The oldest one happened when I was around ten. We where eating in a restaurant while some loaf was running around holding a piece piece of bread. We were waiting for dessert when the Little turd came to our table and first went with my mother, which said hi to him and smiled, then it came to me and started touching me with the hand he was using to hold the piece of bread, so I got breadcrumbs on my pants.I just gave him the evil look and he smiled! Sadly that time nobody noted my reaction of total disgust.

The second time was one time when I went to watch the ring with my mother and aunt when I was a teenager. There was a fambly with three cunturds of different ages, nobody gave a shit about the kids, even though the movie was rated B-15 (this means that no one under 15 years old is allowed to watch the movie). The kids were running, playing and screaming the whole movie. Luckily mi mother complained when we got out and the movie theatre gave us free tickets for another movie. At least it was something.

My second babystalk at the movies happened a couple of years later when I was 18 and I went to watch a movie alone. THere was this kid running on the stairs and laughing all the time. It didn't took a long to get me annoyed becaused I was sitting next to the aisle, so when he was going upstairs I "accidently" streched my foot and made him trip. No one noticed that and the parunt took their brat outside when he started crying. Then I watched th rst of the movie without any annoying brats.
Re: Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk
May 28, 2013
Quote

The second time was one time when I went to watch the ring with my mother and aunt when I was a teenager. There was a fambly with three cunturds of different ages, nobody gave a shit about the kids, even though the movie was rated B-15 (this means that no one under 15 years old is allowed to watch the movie). The kids were running, playing and screaming the whole movie. Luckily mi mother complained when we got out and the movie theatre gave us free tickets for another movie. At least it was something.

I wouldn't call this babystalking, just kids being obnoxious + typical shitty parenting

Babystalking to me means there is a parental element involved:

the parents try to get your (obviously unwanted) attention with the kids
or try to demonstrate "perfect parenting" for an audience and for attention purposes

or the parents notice their kids are interacting with you and you don't like it, but they do nothing to stop it because they are waiting for you to worship them or remark their kid is cute.

Examples can include talking in a stupid loud voice to the kid, bonus points if the kid is too young to understand

Bonus points for upping the ante and talking louder when they aren't getting a reaction and/or getting all butt hurt and remarking about the "mean lady" who isn't paying attention to them.
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