Babystalk, babystalk, it's a wonder you can walk

Ugh I got baby stalked today. I've never had it happen like this...usually moo coos at it and eggs it on. I was stocking product today focusing on doing my job and no more than a foot behind me: "hi, hi, hi, hi..." on and on and on. My coworker near me looked at me ignoring the stalker and said hi as well.

As the lady was leaving I heard the stalker say "bye, bye, bye..."

Moo naturally made an under the breath comment about me not saying hi.

I'm just trying to focus on my job so I can go home on time thankyouverymuch.

I NEVER say 'hi' or 'bye' to any kid who does that. My dh did once and the kid then started a blabbering conversation with him. I just dragged him away and told him to ignore it next time becausehe's only asking for 'stalking.' LOL

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shadow
: "hi, hi, hi, hi..." on and on and on.

ARG.

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!"

I went grocery shopping on Friday, not realizing it was Labor Day weekend, the last minute back-to-school rush, and WIC rush. As I was heading for the cart corral after loading my vehicle, I grabbed some stray carts that lazy assholes had left strewn in my general area. As I approached, I noticed a little boy of maybe three with his back turned to me pushing the carts that were already in the corral. If I hadn't have been pushing so many carts at once, I would've gone to the other side of the parking lot to one of the other corrals. It looked like he was just learning through imitation--not being a brat or anything. His gigantic moo, who looked like a demented Big Bird (tall, extremely pear-shaped, ill-fitting tank top and shorts with flab spilling out, unwashed, etc.), turned toward me and started saying really loudly to the kid but in my direction (I was only a few feet from her and the kid even closer), "COME ON! WE NEED TO GO! YOU CAN'T KEEP PUSHING THOSE ALL DAY! YOU CAN HELP HER WITH HER CARTS, BUT THEN WE HAVE TO GO!" and so forth.

She never acknowledged me directly, which I find is often the hallmark of baby-stalking (it feels rather dehumanizing to me), but she kept acting as if the kid were wasting precious time while simultaneously trying to emphasize what a great little helper he was. Maybe she was trying to make herself seem like a busy and wonderful moo. The thing is, the kid didn't interfere with me at all. He turned around and saw me coming, immediately got out of my way, then stood quietly waiting to get in the car, which his mother wasn't letting him into yet. I just kept my eyes down and my face expressionless while glancing briefly at them from the corner of my eye.

I hate being used as a prop. I especially hate it when the person trying to use me is probably a welfare mooch. It's not good enough to have taxpayer assistance, they have to annoy us and sap our energy at every opportunity, too.

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"I treat my body as a temple, Laverne. You have chosen to treat yours as an amusement park."

I was kidstalked at the DMV yesterday. There was NOWHERE to sit other than beside this little girl of about 4. She seemed washed and well-behaved. She didn't say anything whatsoever to me for about 5 minutes. Then, she looked over at me, waved and said hi. I ignored her. She waved again, gave a big smile and said hi again. I waved and said hi back (I was in the DMV, and I didn't want it to turn into a brawl with a Moo, so I sucked it up).

After my wave, I immediately evacuated the seat and stood with other bored, seatless people.

It's your hell; you rot in it!

Varla's story reminds me of the ultimate kid-stalking thing my ex MIL used to do. I call it Parunting by Proxy.

We'd be at a Fambilee Event--picture a 50+ person affair teeming with hillbillies. My ex and I would be chilling out with a drink, trying to avoid the crack monkeys. Suddenly I'd hear my MIL say, over and over, to some misbehaving brat, "Do you see Aunt Bell, if you don't start behaving, she's going to be mad at you." The kid would look at me with some slack-jawed expression and keep going back to doing what he was doing.

1. I couldn't care less about the brat.
2. Don't involve me in your lack of parenting drama.

Pathetic, really.

I got babystalked a record three times in 10 minutes today. I was already feeling like an emotional train wreck. In the patio I posted about getting tendonitis of the wrist from lab work. The pain is getting worse, the workman's comp people are taking their time about approving my claim, and today I was the subject of the monthly safety meeting. They did not mention me by name but I was still embarrassed as hell. Luckily I got some physical therapy approved and left early to go to that. The therapist scared the crap out of me about how my condition has already gone on too long without treatment and it will become chronic if we don't fix it now. But she did show me some exercises, a couple involving one pound weights.

So you can imagine how bad my state of mind was when I drove to the maul to buy one pound weights. I just wanted to get to the athletic store and get out quick. First there was a fambly with an obnoxious brat ahead of me. One of the maul doors was propped open. As Duh was walking in he looked back at me and said "Here, let me get the door for you". I ran to another door, went in and got away from him as fast as possible. The athletic store had gone out of business while I was not looking. Shit. I walked back the same way I had came. I was in the middle of the corridor, and there is a duh standing there holding a baybee. Of course he headed straight for me the nanosecond he saw me. I did not even try to hide my desire to get the fuck away from him. Avoiding eye contact, I went towards the side. There was a moo and a toadler walking the other way down the corridor. I was far enough away so there was no danger of running into them, but moo starts talking to toadler in that obnoxious sing-songy voice, saying "Watch out, watch out".

I could not possibly feel any worse, so I went next door to Walrusmart. Luckily they had the one pound weights for just a few bucks and I had no problems with anyone. Then I went home to my quiet apartment and cats.

Thanks for listening to me whine. I wish I could slap some sense into the breeders and make them see just how unamusing their brat stalking is.

Here is a quote from my CF SO. I thought it was so funny. I figured you guys would get a kick out of this. This was a discussion taking place on gmail chat today.

"I hate how no one understands that their shitty kid is only precious and special to them.
That line of though is only encouraged by stupid old ladies at the supermarket.
I walked by one at Kroger telling this couple how great their kid was.
He was just standing there like some sort of booger vending machine.
At least teach him a trick before you try to show him off to people.
If someone taught their kid to break dance then I might be impressed."

me: Ahahahaha.

booger vending machine! lol!

I ran to JoAnn's Fabric, which I HATE and LOATHE with every iota of my power because it's always a nightmare to get even one thing there. They have a stranglehold on fabric and sewing stuff in my area so I have no choice but to go there if I am at home. Otherwise I have to pay a toll and navigate Boston and Somerville (Slumerville) traffic to get to an awesome, affordable store, all the while hoping my car doesn't get jacked by some slacker loitering at an intersection.

Anyway, I digress... Jo Ann's... the gathering place of old women who pay in nickels and coupons, moos and their screaming spawn, and people who don't know jack about sewing who ask the cutting ladies all kinds of inane questions instead of letting them do their job of, you know, CUTTING PEOPLE'S FABRIC so we can get the heck out and sew! So I had rushed in on my lunch break, grabbed the 3 items I needed that unfortunately required cutting, and took a number. While one of the aforementioned sewing illiterates asked inumerable questions about how much fabric she needed for some obviously baby themed event, these three women were milling about the store, chatting. Not shopping or even looking at fabric or notions... chatting. WIth them was a shrieking little boy who couldn't have been more than 2 years old, running back and forth, screaming and shrieking the whole time. Now, I probably waited 20 min in that damn line to get my stuff cut. This little brat-siren was howling from the moment I walked in the store until I left about 30 min later. If the moo in front of me had just gotten her crap cut and didn't ask questions, I would have been in and out in about 12 min. Instead I had to see those three moos strutting and cooing and encouraging their little stain while he TORMENTED everyone in the entire store. I hope they had the decency to buy something before they left, but I doubt it. They looked like they were only there to let Bratford run loose like a tasmanian devil on crack. One moo behind me in line even said she had come to the store to escape her kids at home. We rolled our eyes to each other the whole time.

The above mentioned SO and I went to Octoberfest last weekend. I couldn't believe how many bastards were running around at an event centered around BEER. Anyways, they decided to have a German Spelling Bee. I took German in high school, so I thought what the hey. They decided to have a children's spelling bee first. So children were asked to line up, and us adults were also asked to line up and wait. The adults stood there and watched the children's spelling bee.

This little shit (although he had an adorable little face) kept running back and forth between the group of kids and adults. He would always stop by my leg and turn around and run back. Every time he got to my leg he got closer and closer. The last time he made a lap, I thought he was going to run into my leg and start bawling. FINALLY, the duh comes up and retrieves him right before he smashes into my leg.

Also, the children's spelling bee was annoying to watch. The woman hosting it gives this little girl a word. The little girl was having a little know-it-all diva attitude. She looked like a little diva. She had her stupid sunglasses on indoors and this giant bow on her head. She goes, "No! Can I spell chrysanthemum instead?" That isn't even a German word as far as I know. The little bitch just wanted to be a show off because that is probably the biggest word she knows how to spell.

So, she gets her German word. She can't spell it. She is out. She starts having a little mini fit. She stomps her foot and goes, "That isn't FAIR!!! I want to try again!!!" It was funny. The host just kinda smirks and goes, "Sorry. Sometimes things just aren't fair." Then she moves on to the other kid. Bratlina stomps off in I guess the direction her parents are.

I was standing in line to use a public restroom the other day and a small kid comes and stands in line behind me. She had her foot against my foot and was leaning against me while I was waiting in line. I shifted my body backwards and took a step backwards to get her off of me. In the process I stepped on her barefoot (way to go parents who let their child in a public bathroom barefoot). A few minutes later, she just walked out of the bathroom before she got the change to use the bathroom. I actually checked my purse to see if she was trying to pick-pocket me or something. Why else would she lean up against a stranger in a bathroom?!

I have a weird experience last week that annoyed me and made me feel like a jerk at the same time.
not an experience deserves a whole new thread dedicated to it, so I will just write it here.

I went on an exhausting hiking trip with my friend. all I wanted to do was sleeping on my way back home, three hours ride on a bus. my friend and I got nice seats for both of us, she got window seat and I got aisle seat. the bus got overcrowded fast--some passengers had to stand on the aisle, but nonetheless we fall asleep.
on my sleep I felt someone repeatedly bumping on my shoulder and whining on my ears. it's a little girl whining to her mom on how she wanted to sit. tough luck, kid, I was tired too, so I ignored the kid and went on sleeping.
apparently my friend was a nice person. she gave her window seat to the little girl and her mom, which in the process woke me up.
not wanting to be an inconsiderate asshole and block their way to the window seat my friend gave them, I stood up and gave my seat to the annoying brat and her mom too, even though I really didn't want to. I felt really annoyed, because the brat continued to yap for the rest of the ride. I can't fathom why I have to give my seat to perfectly healthy people. had I had the window seat instead of aisle seat, I wouldn't give my seat up. and I had to stand up on the aisle for the rest of the ride.

god damn it, all of these really make me a selfish asshole.

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felisdomestica
I have a weird experience last week that annoyed me and made me feel like a jerk at the same time.
not an experience deserves a whole new thread dedicated to it, so I will just write it here.

I went on an exhausting hiking trip with my friend. all I wanted to do was sleeping on my way back home, three hours ride on a bus. my friend and I got nice seats for both of us, she got window seat and I got aisle seat. the bus got overcrowded fast--some passengers had to stand on the aisle, but nonetheless we fall asleep.
on my sleep I felt someone repeatedly bumping on my shoulder and whining on my ears. it's a little girl whining to her mom on how she wanted to sit. tough luck, kid, I was tired too, so I ignored the kid and went on sleeping.
apparently my friend was a nice person. she gave her window seat to the little girl and her mom, which in the process woke me up.
not wanting to be an inconsiderate asshole and block their way to the window seat my friend gave them, I stood up and gave my seat to the annoying brat and her mom too, even though I really didn't want to. I felt really annoyed, because the brat continued to yap for the rest of the ride. I can't fathom why I have to give my seat to perfectly healthy people. had I had the window seat instead of aisle seat, I wouldn't give my seat up. and I had to stand up on the aisle for the rest of the ride.

god damn it, all of these really make me a selfish asshole.

I don't see where you're being selfish here. You guys were lucky and early enough to get a seat. They were not. Tough shit for them. I wouldn't have gotten up either unless I could see they were handicapped or if they told me they were and politely asked to sit.

I was in Target yesterday and this woman with a baby walked past me. I saw this really soft fluffy blanket thing- the kind my cat LOVES so I said to my boyfriend how "Izzi would love this!" The woman had by then reached the end of the isle but was still in ear shot... She assumed that I was talking about my child and quickly turned her cart around with this big smile and made this freaky eye-contact with me... She started pushing her cart at me full speed while staring me down and smiling with this look like "LETS TALK ABOUT OUR CHILDREN!!!" So I ran away. She awkwardly followed me around for a while. I finally hid in the cat food section and she left me alone.

It was horrible. I went out after 12- too early for kids to be out of school but late enough for moos to be out (usually I go out before 11 when no one under 60 is out) there was kids EVERYWHERE! There was one woman per 3 or 4 kids. All under 5. The ones that could walk were running into me, and the babies were staring at me while drooling. I got stuck behind this one baby who kept waving at me while drooling. The mother was like "ARE YOU WAVING AT THE LADY? ARE YOU WAVING AT THE LADY? YOUA RE SOOO CUTE GOO GOO" then gave me the death glare and refused to leave (she had finished checking out- it was self-serve) until I waved back. What a weirdo. I'm so grossed out by the stuff these people buy too. They have an entire cart full of food and not one thing is healthy. They had club size packs of cookies, chips, snack cakes. That isn't food! Ugh. Never leaving my house after 12 again.

Exactly why I have to 'time' every freekin' trip to the store. I must avoid the moos and drooling loaves at all costs.
Seems that between 9 and 11 AM is best around here.

Incident 1:
No active stalking. I go on my precious 30-min. lunch break for some Italian food. I go, and holy shit is it jam-packed. For every three adults, there was one kid. And they were ALL sitting at the tables - no sitting and waiting for my takeout dish; I had to stand near he drink fountain like a chump. Every breeder brought their kids for spaghetti, and one even plopped her infant on the counter to order. Thankfully, I had my food in my hand and was on my way out when I witnessed that. On the plus side, I didn't have to move far to refill my iced tea.

Incident 2: Holy shit, you guys, bubble wrap is on special where I work! Some duh celebrated by whipping out his iPhone and taping his barely-walking bratlet lifting the huge rolls. I don't think he bought anything today, but I did witness him continuing to "play" by allowing the little grub to transfer its pacifier from her mouth to his. And back. And forth. Oh, you weren't eating, were you?

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

Transferring the pacifier?



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My bird is my feather baby.

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drake
Transferring the pacifier?

Couldn't invent this fuckery if I tried.

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

"She awkwardly followed me around for a while. I finally hid in the cat food section and she left me alone"

never mind babby-stalking, that's almost REAL stalking! what a weirdo!

OMG, today I gained first-hand experience of a baby-stalker.

Me and about 4 other people were waiting at the bus stop, when this woman comes along pushing a stroller. She then positions the stroller so that it's facing the 4 people who were sitting down (I was standing near the kerb to try and see my particular bus) and starts blathering like a loony.

"AWWW aren't you a GORGEOUS baby? Yes you are! You're mummy's little princess! I wish I had gloves as pretty as yours! No, don't take them off my gorgeous girl, your hands will get cold! Wow look at your pretty hair and lovely eyes!"

She was so loud I could hear her over the full-volume music in my ears. When she noticed no-one was making a fuss of the kid, she carried on and even got louder.

"Who's the CUTEST little girl in the WORLD? You are! We'll go to the vets to pick up Lucky because she's been poorly and then we'll take you to see Nana - I bet you're looking forward to seeing Nana aren't you? Nana loves you SO much, but not as much as mummy does!"

The other people were just as annoyed as I was that she wouldn't shut the hell up. Occasionally one of the other people would smile at the kid, but that obviously wasn't enough, the dozy moo needed them to fuss and fawn over the child like it was the second coming of Jesus. Oh and her too because she clearly was the centre of attention when she was pregnant, but now the loaf is here she's not getting the same level of acknowledgement and she can't stand for that!

It was the most agonizing 10 minutes of my life and I was so fucking relieved when her bus arrived. But I did feel bad for the people on the bus - I imagine she'd continued her baby-stalking there.

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Lurker-derp
OMG, today I gained first-hand experience of a baby-stalker.

Me and about 4 other people were waiting at the bus stop, when this woman comes along pushing a stroller. She then positions the stroller so that it's facing the 4 people who were sitting down (I was standing near the kerb to try and see my particular bus) and starts blathering like a loony.

"AWWW aren't you a GORGEOUS baby? Yes you are! You're mummy's little princess! I wish I had gloves as pretty as yours! No, don't take them off my gorgeous girl, your hands will get cold! Wow look at your pretty hair and lovely eyes!"

She was so loud I could hear her over the full-volume music in my ears. When she noticed no-one was making a fuss of the kid, she carried on and even got louder.

"Who's the CUTEST little girl in the WORLD? You are! We'll go to the vets to pick up Lucky because she's been poorly and then we'll take you to see Nana - I bet you're looking forward to seeing Nana aren't you? Nana loves you SO much, but not as much as mummy does!"

The other people were just as annoyed as I was that she wouldn't shut the hell up. Occasionally one of the other people would smile at the kid, but that obviously wasn't enough, the dozy moo needed them to fuss and fawn over the child like it was the second coming of Jesus. Oh and her too because she clearly was the centre of attention when she was pregnant, but now the loaf is here she's not getting the same level of acknowledgement and she can't stand for that!

It was the most agonizing 10 minutes of my life and I was so fucking relieved when her bus arrived. But I did feel bad for the people on the bus - I imagine she'd continued her baby-stalking there.

That's not just typical baby-stalking. That's complete attention whoring. Glad it backfired.

WHY do people have to talk all cutsie to their kid inpublic? I talk cutsie to my dogs but would never do it in public (at least so people would hear me) Guess I'm not an attention whore either. I don't get it. I'd rather go about my business and have people ignore me. Probably why I was not parent material. LOL

I bet I know why the dog was feeling 'poorly'. With a cunt like this for an owner, I'm sure the poor little thing was ignored ever since Moo got inpig.

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My bird is my feather baby.

The worst baby stalking I ever got was at a Target. I was in the process of the clerk scanning and bagging when some brat came up to me and started YELLING at the top of its voice at me.

"HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! I LIKE YOUR HAIR! I LIKE YOUR HAIR! I LIKE YOUR HAIR! HEY! I SAID I LIKE YOUR HAIR!"

The clerk and I exchange uncomfortable looks and try hard to ignore the brat as it gets progressively louder and louder. Finally the moo, who is in line behind me, gets in the clerk's face and says

"She SAYS that she likes her hair!"

Like the clerk should have to respond to that. The clerk looks at me with a very obviously uncomfortable "I'm being forced to do this." look and says

"Um. I guess she likes your hair?"

I nod to the clerk, refusing to acknowledged either spawn or moo.

"Yeah. I know. Just ignore that kind of rude behavior or you'll encourage it."

The whole area where I was living at the time would have been a paradise were it not for the breeders. Apparently really hot nerdy guys who were swindled into breeding by some moo went to that city to plan and execute their divorce. I've never seen so many baby daddies before in my life all in one place. They would constantly follow me around in the grocery stores and until I saw the brats I'd be flattered. They know it too because I would see the brat, my face would drop in disgust and they would usually give up. The dumb ones would stalk me around and try to make their mistakes seem cute and appealing to me. I have a hard time hiding my complete disgust for spawn though. They always get the point eventually.

Some people are like slinkies. They're really good for nothing, but they can still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Looks like having raging Apergers does me some good. I never notice baby stalking because I am too focused on doing what needs to get done. I have had people call my name and try to talk to me for 10 minutes because I was being oblivious.

Certain noises I have trained myself not to pay attention to, and the lowing of moo cows is one of them.