Babystalking at Hooters

Duh starts out by talking about how he goes to Hooters for the food and the service, not because the waitresses are scantily clad. He drones on about how they have a children's menu, and how his daughter should learn not to judge people by how they dress, and why he genuinely didn't see it as a problem to bring his two-year-old daughter to Hooters.

Right. Is there anyone who isn't aware that Hooters is not really a famblee place? It's a place that treats women as a commodity.

As his story evolves, it is clear that what he really wanted to do was babystalk. At Hooters.

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I expected to walk into Hooters at 11 a.m. and have a bunch of bored waitresses fawning all over my daughter. We'd get attention and good laughs, maybe even a comped order of mozzarella sticks, and my daughter would see how casually and normally Daddy interacts with women in tight tank tops.

They weren't welcomed warmly by the guys who were drinking there, or the waitresses who were dealing with their normal clients. At this point, it finally struck him that this was a bar "and forcing your kid on a group of adults who want to get drunk is a dick move, especially guys who want to get drunk at 11 a.m. on a Tuesday." Naturally, this didn't stop him from sitting down (although he did order it to go), even though "The next 10 minutes were some of the longest of my life."

Nobody was interested in being baby-stalked.

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Instead of being shown to our table we were hemmed in by a stony-faced phalanx of orange-and-white-clad servers who silently established a perimeter around us preventing entrance into the main dining room or access to a table by the bar, a well-endowed Praetorian Guard, protecting the sanctity of their establishment from the sticky-fingered cuteness of my 2-year-old. They looked at me like I was stupid for bringing my daughter to Hooters.

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My daughter was understandably mesmerized by the bright orange shorts and the ladies with hair extensions. She made entreaties to be noticed by some of the waitresses and she was rebuffed with extreme prejudice. Then she headed over to start gabbing at some of the guys at the bar, who did not seem to offer the smiles she is so used to receiving.

What lesson does he draw from all of this? "As cool and comfortable as I want my kids to be in a wide variety of situations, there are some joints that are a little too spicy for the young'uns." I'm sure someone could have told him that a long time ago, but I doubt he was listening any more than his audience is.

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Like me, you may want to be a cool and casual relaxed parent with cool, casual and relaxed kids, but how relaxed are your kids going to be when their earliest memories are strangers recoiling from them in shame and fear and annoyance? Part of what I want for my kids will come from trying to avoid weird and uncomfortable situations before they're ready. That means being a little more thoughtful about their feelings and other people's feelings. That means being thoughtful and considerate -- two things that were not a big part of my emotional vocabulary before I had children. It doesn't come naturally, but it's coming.

It's not coming along fast enough. He should have figured out how not to be an ass before he spawned.

This guy is an inconsiderate idiot to the staff of Hooters and a dickhead to the other patrons. I don't know where he is trying to go with this nonsense, but a two year old doesn't belong in a BAR regardless if the servers are scantily clad or if it's a scruffy old Army vet behind the counter pouring shooters. I realize Hooters serves food, but it's well known that it is an ADULT type of place. I had no idea Hooters had a kid menu. When did that happen? The last time I went to a Hooters there were NO KIDS in there and it was at a beach side location during the daytime. I don't remember seeing a kid menu either. Has Hooters sold out to the kid-centric society too? What's next, "Gentleman's clubs" having father-daughter nights?

Perhaps during the strippers' breaks he can hoist his toddler up onto the stage and let her show the audience all of her pole dancing skills.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

It has nothing to do with Hooters and everything to do with an out of control 2-year-old and her father's needing to make her the center of the fucking universe.

NO ONE is as enchanted with your kid as you are. If they sat quietly at the table, then it would have been just fine. But no. He wanted freebies because his kid is soooo cyooooooooote. He wanted everyone to notice and pay attention to the results of his dick spillage. And he got upset that no one really cared.

Most of the waitresses and patrons are probably parents and like their "me" time. Because no one is as enchanted with your kids as you.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

LESSON LEARNED: EVEN THOUGH YOU WANTS TO LOOK AT TITS AND CALL IT A TEACHING EXPERIENCE - OTHER DRINKERS DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR BRAT.

I don't believe Hooters has any official policy regarding children. It's not like the waitresses are topless, which would of course legally prevent children from entering.

This man should have the common sense not to bring his toddler in there. Forget about the decor or the staff uniforms. Hooters is a BAR. A place for ADULTS.

If any of us started hanging around the Chucky Cheese restaurant, we'd be viewed as weirdos and may even have the cops called on us. Yet, this man feels comfortable exposing his daughter to a place that's designed for adults?

Instead of learning his lesson, this "man" (who also writes a column for Redbook?!) attempts to justify why ALL of the employees and patrons inside of Hooters were WRONG for not fawning over him and his daughter, and how he is RIGHT for expecting free food, endless attention, and the interruption of an otherwise enjoyable lunch for the rest of the patrons.

How about this for a new personal policy: Next time a parent decides to bring their child to a bar that I'm sitting at, me and whomever I'm with start talking loudly about blowjobs, fucking, lube, vibrators, etc. etc.? Fair is fair. Now go back to the Chucky Cheese, loser.

KYDS SHOULD NOT BE IN A HOOTERS, STRIP JOINT OR 4 RATED MOVIE -EVER. APPARENTLY THE FRACKING BREEDERS JUST DO NOT GET IT.

I go to Ren Faires... every year....in full costume There are plenty of kyds stuff, most things are for everybody ad there are a couple things that are just not appropriate for the kids. One is a comedy show called Sound & Fury and there are 2 sandwhich board signs saying "this show is PG-13".... well that's puting in mildly....It's just effing damn funny and gloriously filthy adult stuff that'll have you fighting to stay seated on the bench you are sitting on from laughing so hard. The first year I went to this, me and my group slide in a little, late first time never seen this act before and the word vagina at one point was used. There's a Moo with 2 he brats a couple benches over...one of them asks "Mommy, what's a vagina?" I swear she grabed those brats and flew out of there so fast and even one of the performers said something to the effect of 'did you not read the sign'....Can you not read the damn sign that are clearly visible from the back of the ampitheare?? I swear.....

What do they have to do to keep the breeders out? Rename the place "Tits"?

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law1204
What do they have to do to keep the breeders out? Rename the place "Tits"?

They could start by not having a chyldrun's menu.

I remember this being posted on the Delphi Forums Childfree by Choice.... it didn't go well. One person got on his/her high horse and called the majority of the posters prudes, completely missing/ignoring the point that Hooters was supposed to be for adults, but once again, the family friendly brigade won out.

I can't help but wonder how much longer 'til he takes his brat to a strip club to show that's it's okay to dress in nothing. And then he'll sit there with a fucking boner, ogling at women who look nothing like the saggy moo of his runt, while said runt annoys other patrons who are trying to get away from just that.

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blondie

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law1204
What do they have to do to keep the breeders out? Rename the place "Tits"?

They could start by not having a chyldrun's menu.

Or by growing a spine and posting a sign saying NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

I wish more places would man up and do just that. If all restaurants would start then there'd be no stopping them.

So not only did this entitleduh want special treatment because his dick works but he also expected free food. People like him should be booted from the place and never allowed back.

I've browsed through some of the comments, and the idiot is definitely getting ripped a new one for his douchebag baybeestalking behavior! I'm glad there are still some people in this world who have some sense in their heads.

But, the writer is a PROUD graduate of Philadelphia Community College. PROUD. And he writes for Redbook. I'm surprised he was able to impregnate a female.

Ok, dudes drunk at 11 am at Hooters. What father with a fucking brain cell or sense in his head wants to expose his 2 year old daughter to that? Did it ever occur to duh that maybe the guys were being raunchy and inappropriately sexual and maybe by seating him and his daughter away from them, they were protecting her against him? Because he's apparently too fucking stupid to do so?

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Dickhead Duh
I thought it might even be a good lesson for my daughter to see that we don't judge or treat people differently because of the way they're dressed, and that people are not the sum total of their apparel; for instance, I am not a hobo, even though I dress like one.

News for In Denial Duh and all Clueless Parents: Once you pop a crotch turd - your Hipster days are OVER.

Dressing like a hobo is not going to change a thing.

The fact that you set foot in a Hooters means its all over but the shouting. Suburbia is calling, and technically - by setting foot in a chain restaurant - you are *already there*.

If you like Hooters, you will learn to LOVE beige vinyl sided McMansions. You already know, intuitively, like a rumbling in the testes, that this is where you belong.

Load up the Prius and get moving.

Then you can go to Hooters with the other Duhs and eat all the fried pickles stare at all the boobs you want.

What a fucking creep!!!

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cerebralherpes
I can't help but wonder how much longer 'til he takes his brat to a strip club to show that's it's okay to dress in nothing. And then he'll sit there with a fucking boner, ogling at women who look nothing like the saggy moo of his runt, while said runt annoys other patrons who are trying to get away from just that.

Oh, but I am positive his wife can't possibly look like that. He's careful to mention that she wasn't wearing anything more covering than a Hooter's tanktop when he met her (which makes it sound like she was working as a lap dancer or something when they met, although given the way he tries to be cool, he might just mean they were on the beach).

(Side note: The problem's not so much what the women wear, as far as I'm concerned, it's what the men wear. If the women are part naked and the men are fully clothed, the women are clearly there for the men's sexual titillation. If they're both part naked, both all naked, or both fully clothed, I don't care.)

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the noodler
But, the writer is a PROUD graduate of Philadelphia Community College. PROUD. And he writes for Redbook. I'm surprised he was able to impregnate a female.

It's the word 'proud' that does it. An associate's degree does not warrant the level of pride that requires you to note it in your bio. But I suppose it isn't unexpected, given that he's the sort of person who takes pride in his ability to ejaculate, too.

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mumofsixbirds
I've browsed through some of the comments, and the idiot is definitely getting ripped a new one for his douchebag baybeestalking behavior! I'm glad there are still some people in this world who have some sense in their heads.

Some of the comments:

Has Salon started a new series called "I'm a tool but I think I'm a good person because I can write a 1,500-word article about it"?

Exhibit A
For why people should need a license to breed.

Here's a parenting tip: Other people are not as entranced by your little cutie's precocious behavior as you are. Not even close. In fact, most other people find it bothersome, rude and annoying.

This story is a prefect example of the cruel irony of our species: we're the most intellectually evolved species, yet somehow, evolution has not blessed us with some sort of fail-safe against the more idiotic of our kind reproducing and thus being an endangerment to their own offspring. It seems that no matter how defective your frontal lobe capacity for impulse control, reason and good judgmental is, you can rest assured it won't affect your virility one iota. It's almost as if evolution is mocking us humans by letting morons like this man have children.

Here's an idea- give it some WINGS.

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yurble

Oh, but I am positive his wife can't possibly look like that. He's careful to mention that she wasn't wearing anything more covering than a Hooter's tanktop when he met her (which makes it sound like she was working as a lap dancer or something when they met, although given the way he tries to be cool, he might just mean they were on the beach).

(Side note: The problem's not so much what the women wear, as far as I'm concerned, it's what the men wear. If the women are part naked and the men are fully clothed, the women are clearly there for the men's sexual titillation. If they're both part naked, both all naked, or both fully clothed, I don't care.)
.

True. I was having a discussion with someone about this. I was saying the outfits of female news reporters seem to be getting more and more risque. The other person reasoned that you see much less than that at the beach so what's the problem. What does the beach have to do with a newsroom?! The male reporters are dressed professionally in suits while many of the women look like cocktail hostesses. Let the men wear muscle shirts and tight hipster pants while reporting the news and then we're good. eyes2

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blondie

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yurble

Oh, but I am positive his wife can't possibly look like that. He's careful to mention that she wasn't wearing anything more covering than a Hooter's tanktop when he met her (which makes it sound like she was working as a lap dancer or something when they met, although given the way he tries to be cool, he might just mean they were on the beach).

(Side note: The problem's not so much what the women wear, as far as I'm concerned, it's what the men wear. If the women are part naked and the men are fully clothed, the women are clearly there for the men's sexual titillation. If they're both part naked, both all naked, or both fully clothed, I don't care.)
.

True. I was having a discussion with someone about this. I was saying the outfits of female news reporters seem to be getting more and more risque. The other person reasoned that you see much less than that at the beach so what's the problem. What does the beach have to do with a newsroom?! The male reporters are dressed professionally in suits while many of the women look like cocktail hostesses. Let the men wear muscle shirts and tight hipster pants while reporting the news and then we're good. eyes2

re: my bold:
I'm still pissed that Rachel Maddow caved and started wearing "modesty camisoles" under her blazer/jacket. I still love her though. I fantasize about her and me, in bed, while she reads the Bill of RIghts OUT LOUD, while Keith Olbermann is taping the event for later viewing. He can join in. I don't care.

What's with all his bullshit..."Teach my daughter this, teach my daughter that" She's fucking TWO! Like she even notices, at this age, what people are wearing, or knows to judge them! What an asshole.

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Snark Shark
if he had any real BALLS, he'd just ADMIT he went to hooters to look at giant boobies!

He's probably tired of looking at moomy's deflated udders.

I think his intent was rather obvious and in a way he even admitted it. He wanted the attention of the Hooters girls, plain and simple. It's quite funny to me how anyone could be SO naive' to think that ANY oohing and aahing or apparent special attention by ANY wait staff at any establishment is anything more than an attempt at soliciting a bigger tip. Do people REALLY think that restaurant staff give a SHIT about them, their stupid kids, or where they have been on vacation or what they plan to do after they leave the place? I dealt with that nonsense for five long years when I managed a restaurant because breeders sequestering their server often isn't good enough. A great number of them want the management in on their OH SO BORING kid stalking rituals too.

Other than the extra messes, poor tipping, and constant demands for free refills on everything imaginable, famblees with small kids are generally THE most hated customers due to their incessant baybee stalking tactics. It's worse when they insist on this shit from a captive audience in a customer-vendor type of service arrangement because their satisfaction, which INCLUDES their kids getting special attention, determines the person's wages for that shift. I realize it's an expected part of the job, but it shouldn't be. Friendly service and good food SHOULD be all they get for their dollar, IMHO.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!