The "I got bingo-ed" thread

Why is it that when you get 'fixed' they always say "you can adopt" ???? My father was after me with the adoption bingo till ..almost litterly... the day he died. I think the last time he mentioned it to me was in the hospital between bouts of meds that knocked him silly. I was 44 at the time.

My aunt (his sister) held it against me for the rest of her life that I did not 'provide my parunts with a grandbrat' She dispised my poodles for that reason.. because I know she generally liked dogs. I just don't get what part of 'I simply do not want any' that they can't understand. I can fully understand someone wanting one..or wanting a cat over a dog... or craving to adopt... so why can't they understand when I do not want kids? Most CF's I know do have pets. We do know how to love and nurture.. we just don't want to shower it on our little dna replica.

Oh geeze... then there's the 'you don't know real love' I would never say 'you don't know what unconditional love is till you have a (insert pet here)' Why do they feel the need to comment on my ability to have emotions?

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starlady
Why is it that when you get 'fixed' they always say "you can adopt" ???? My father was after me with the adoption bingo till ..almost litterly... the day he died. I think the last time he mentioned it to me was in the hospital between bouts of meds that knocked him silly. I was 44 at the time.

My aunt (his sister) held it against me for the rest of her life that I did not 'provide my parunts with a grandbrat' She dispised my poodles for that reason.. because I know she generally liked dogs. I just don't get what part of 'I simply do not want any' that they can't understand. I can fully understand someone wanting one..or wanting a cat over a dog... or craving to adopt... so why can't they understand when I do not want kids? Most CF's I know do have pets. We do know how to love and nurture.. we just don't want to shower it on our little dna replica.

Oh geeze... then there's the 'you don't know real love' I would never say 'you don't know what unconditional love is till you have a (insert pet here)' Why do they feel the need to comment on my ability to have emotions?

I'm just amazed at the phrase "provide parents with grandchildren," as if they're owed that or something. As if the grandparents would immediately take custody of the kid, and have it be their responsibility. It's just such nonsense.

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satansbitch
If I got pregnant I WOULD NOT be pro moohood, but I would be a lot more pro abortion than I am now.

So true-true-true, Ms. Satan!
screw hormonal changes, not all people are governed by their id. we actually capable to think on our own.

Got sort of passive aggressively bingoed by the 'rents over Thanksgiving. For ten years the Man Partner and I have visited them over that holiday but this year he wanted to go visit his elderly sisters instead, which I highly recommended since he doesn't get to see them very much and they're never in one place together. So this was a rare occasion during which I, an only child, just spent Thanksgiving alone with my somewhat aging (knees are starting to give out, otherwise they're fine) parents.

They wanted to take me out to breakfast before I drove back home Friday and there is a Panera near them, which is an absolutely shitty place to go for breakfast when you have blood sugar issues, as I carefully explained to them for the upteenth time......but they usually make these little egg souffle thingies and I figured I could just get one of those to get some morning protein in my system instead of all the usual bagels, danishes, and muffin crap that are the only things they sell there in the morning.

We get there, and of course they're all out of souffles and tell us they're not even going to make anymore because it takes an hour. Um, okay.

So I put LOTS OF CREAM CHEESE on a bagel and hope for the best, figuring I'll grab a burger after I hit the highway on my way home.

Paneras just fucking suck. They are always filled with breeders and loads of kids, especially this one near my parents' place. I was trying to have a nice conversation over coffee with my parents and of course this was impossible because very small brats were literally crawling all over the place like disgusting worms.

I figure, I'm out of here in ten minutes, so I'll just try to chill and enjoy being with my folks before I head home.

My dad gets up to get some coffee and my mom mentions something to me --- that the main reason why my dad likes to come there for breakfast on the weekends is to BE AROUND THE KIDS.

Because, you know, I'm the childfree only child who isn't shitting out any loaves.

What's so fucked about that is he wasn't into kids at ALL during all the years I was a kid. It's not like he interacted with many of them or showed much interest in them. Admittedly, I was a pretty indulged and spoiled only child, and he had his moments, but really I've only enjoyed my relationship with him since I could relate to him on an adult level since he could be very scary and angry and emotionally, almost physically, abusive when I was growing up.

So why the fuck is there suddenly this desire to be around other people's kids?

Even if I HAD had kids sometime within the past ten years, my parents are overweight and can't move around very much, so they couldn't even have ever babysat or been helpful to me as grandparents. So there appears to be some weird, late life crisis going on there.

I was VERY happy to get out of there.

Oh my father liked to go places where there were kids too, He'd watch them with a stupid grin on his face. Would drive me nuts when he'd interact with them in front of me (as a CF adult) Ofcourse an older man watching kids in a public place with a dumb grin on his face could be considered a bit weird... but... that's what he did.

In August, my DF and I had a dinner at our home with a couple that we know well socially and professionally. I'll call the wife W and the husband H. W and H have two young children, are fairly religious, and although both work full-time outside the home, it would be fair to say that the majority of the "burden" of child-rearing falls to W.

[In fact, earlier that day W had expressed to me and another unmarried, childless friend our age (who I'll call L) who was also with us that she was frustrated with H and their division of domestic/child-rearing work. But, I digress...]

So after dinner, DF was in the kitchen doing dishes and getting dessert ready while I sat at the table with W, H and L. (If I recall correctly, the two kids were napping in the other room.) H had become *very* inebriated and somehow we got on the topic of their son who was about to turn one year old.

H out of the blue made a statement to me, something to the effect that in ten years I would look back on my life and be sorry that I had lived "the wrong way".

I was very surprised, but thought that since H's first language is not English and he was speaking in English at the time that I had misunderstood. Over the course of the next 20 or so minutes, H went on a long rampage and made numerous attacks on me including the following:

"DF deserves to be a father - why would you want to take that from him?";
"You are living a selfish, materialistic life that you will regret because motherhood is the highest aspiration for a woman and God's will";
"It would be so wonderful to see our kids running and playing and growing up together, I just want to see that."

And so on...I think I actually blocked a lot of it out because I can't remember all the BS now but I'm sure you can just imagine. All through that time, I tried to be a good hostess. I kept constantly asking H questions because his English at times was not making sense and I kept thinking, it has to be me not understanding this because HE COULDN'T REALLY BE SITTING IN MY DINING ROOM SAYING THIS TO ME, RIGHT?!

I was wishing DF would come back out of the kitchen and put a stop to it but he was oblivious and at one point even asked me why I was "arguing" with our guests (overhearing my tone but not what we were discussing!!!).

I told H that childbearing was a personal matter. I told him that bringing up topics like this can cause conflict when (for example) one partner wishes for children and the other does not. I told him that I have known several friends to be heartbroken with repeated miscarriages and they would be very offended by his barrage (with the inference that something was wrong with them). I told him that he was entitled to his opinion but that his judgment wasn't welcome. Finally I told him that I had been ill in the past and that having a child could possibly be a life or death decision for me, and that I didn't wish to discuss it with him further. I change the subject at least 2x and even involved W and L who were getting very uncomfortable. AND HE STILL DID NOT STOP!!!! W even made several placating remarks ("I think what H means to say is..." probably to try to give him a chance to save face, which he did not take, and avoid a worse confrontation with his drunk, patriarchal ass). I finally raised my voice and shouted at him, leaving the table in tears and slamming the bathroom door, which brought the evening to a halt. It was especially awkward because H's mother, visiting from another country and understanding NO English was dining with us and she looked mortified and confused.

I came back a few minutes later and tried to salvage the evening, but H and W collected their kids and left soon afterwards in a subdued (but not angry) manner. We walked them out, and afterwards I sat at the table crying to DF and L for over 90 minutes and asking them why no one intervened on my behalf. L was chagrined and sorry, claiming she hadn't known how upset I was and DF was shocked because he really had not been present. I told him that next time he is aware of me getting upset he needs to come to my defense, because I'm not a hysterical, intolerant kind of person who can't handle a normal discussion but this was totally inappropriate and went way beyond the pale. He agreed with this and that H was out of line, drunk, etc.

I agree that H was drunk but I think this actually revealed his true feelings about me, and it's so weird because I have never discussed my views about parenthood with him AT ALL and not even really with W, who I consider a dear friend. How did this turn into a "I was drunk, stubborn and obnoxious" thing when I think his message was delivered fully as intended?!

I have been to their kids baptisms, birthday parties, I have bought kiddie gifts, celebrated holidays, helped them move, and I really don't know what "un-nurturing", selfish, unholy life I've suddenly been living to have been treated this way! And who the HELL is H to judge me and my lifestyle (which he's never asked about or asked about what I'D really like to see in my life!)? H is not going to be there to financially support me. When I have to work but end up on 6 months of pregnancy bed rest and have to declare bankruptcy because I have no one to take care of me, H will not be there. He will not be changing diapers, paying bills, teaching life lessons, cleaning vomit or anything else - which he barely does for his OWN KIDS so HE DOES NOT get to tell me what to do with my vag!!!

So...the next day H texted me and apologized, claiming to not remember the night at all but that he'd heard he'd been rude and a bad guest. I accepted his apology, but obviously it stirred up some, let's say, anger!

It was essentially this incident that made me start Googling CF lifestyle and eventually I found this board. This is where I have found talking points, bingo rebuttals good arguments and not to mention many hours of hilarious reading enjoyment. In some ways, maybe that fucked up dinner and what happened was a good thing, because it taught me that as far as kids are concerned, I will be sticking up for myself in the future and the hell with politeness. W and H were not worried about my feelings, so...I think in many ways this incident solidified and clarified my feelings, which up until that point were just kind of hazy. Also, I think I actually *believed* in some ways that parunts had a right to do this shit. Not anymore - thanks!

Norcalgirl, thanks for sharing your bingo story. What I get really angry about on your behalf is that nobody stood up for you that night and they just left you out there to be a punching bag for that douche's hateful comments. When he wouldn't even shut up when you tried to allude to medical issues that might literally mean having a child would kill you and he STILL wouldn't shut the fuck up......that's crossing so many lines he should have immediately been pounced on by everybody sane in the building. The tribe does NOT protect the "victim" in these cases, sometimes, and you were definitely a victim here. Your reactions were NOT out of line in the slightest. Especially given the context of this all taking place in YOUR home when YOU are being such a nice and generous hostess.

Please feel free to bitch about this and other realizations/experiences you've been having. Sometimes it takes dealing with a total asshole like that guy to help you really get in touch with your own true feelings on the matter, so that you can fully own them WITHOUT APOLOGY.

This is a great place for you to step into righteous anger so you can connect with that in the future to protect yourself or defend yourself in the future, should you need to.

Thanks loavesstillsuck for your comments.

I think you are totally right. This happened three months ago and I have wanted to post it ever since I got on this board, so it is a relief.

What I started to learn from this situation is that I don't need to apologize for my lifestyle choice. One of the things that made me the most angry about the entire situation was that I played too much into it. I got too emotional and too defensive. I was so shocked and intrigued by this attack on my materialistic lifestyle (!?) out of nowhere that I felt some questions were in order. He is probably just jealous b/c he and W are financially strapped and DF and I are not. (My DF is also his boss, which added another layer of awkward.)

A simple "I don't wish to discuss it" and then leaving it alone should have sufficed. I mean not really, because I'm sure he still would not have just STFU but I could have walked into the kitchen, taken over the dessert prep and just laughed it off. Maybe my goal was to get some validation or something but I don't know why b/c I don't really give a fuck if H approves of my life or comes to some acceptance and agreement w/ it or not. I think at that time I was unsure of myself and had none of the gems I could whip out as rebuttals now.

I don't really blame DF too much for what happened, b/c he wasn't aware until later. I would say we have probably discussed it for 3-4 hours cumulatively over the course of a few subsequent conversations and he more than backed me up. He had some good cultural insight that I think was right on (he and H are of the same background and from the same country.) DF has a good way of really nailing people's intentions but deep down I was angry with W and L because they just made half-hearted attempts to argue with H but H is so stubborn, can be so belligerent and overbearing (and then there is the whole cultural thing about having guests as an honor and not being rude to them, indulging what they want to discuss, etc.) that they just didn't want to get into the whole drunk argument thing. I know that W just wanted him to stop drinking - she even hid the bottle like he was a child! I suppose she had a great day the following day taking care of 2 little kids and his hungover ass and her MIL -

Anyway...thanks for your support. I am going to take your suggestion about the righteous anger. The posts on this board have brought a lot of things to my attention and I am earning some stripes against the asshattery out there every week!!

You're very welcome, norcalgirl!

When we're trying to be "nice" we can tend to deny righteous anger, but it really is a protective mechanism and very healthy energy to use when it's appropriate. Stuffing anger when someone is being abusive really doesn't help, even though obviously in this situation it was complicated since you were ESPECIALLY wanting to be nice since you were playing hostess plus the jerky guy was your guy's employee.

It sounds like the ONLY thing that would have worked was not just "I don't wish to discuss it," but actually REPEATING that same phrase (called the "broken record technique") until he shut up. I learned to do this years ago with abusive people I didn't want to give any more emotional energy to but still had to deal with in some social situations. They start being abusive, I'd say, "I have nothing to say to you." (In your case you could have tried, "I have nothing to say about that" as well as "I'm not discussing this.") The abusive asshole will spin and try to get his or her hooks in you, and you just repeat the same phrase like a broken record until 1) they change the subject 2) they walk away or 3) they leave you alone. Its' a way to diffuse the situation without becoming a victim and can be VERY USEFUL because it allows you to remain powerful and unapologetic without getting into an all out fight.

But...sometimes letting your righteous anger come out (while it can cause nuclear destruction at times) is also the healthiest thing for YOU.

I got bingoed by my PNB neighbor tonight. They are nice people. They have two small kids under the age of 5. We NEVER hear these kids despite being in the apartment next door. (unlike The Feral Brat upstairs) The kids are polite, even cute. So I heard they were moving, and I mentioned it to her when I ran into her, and said we might be moving soon too. She said they were waiting until they were accepted into a good school. I wished her luck. OMG the convo devolved from there. All of a sudden we went from "great luck with that" into me having to give an involved description of how I don't want a family and neither does DH. I usually get away with the "oh, I'm not a spring chicken!" statement... but that led into "how old are you" (wtf? that's rather personal, no?), "I wished I'd done invitro and gotten it tested rather than do an amnio" (ew. I didn't need to know that). etc etc.

She really did mean well, but I was still a little weirded out.

Welcome,Norcalgirl


I suppose the bright side of what H said to you is that you found this great place.

I have recently learned that,when someone bingos,and you say it isn't up for discussion,and they then reply with "well,I just think that bingomooblahbingodeeblahblah",a good way to shut them up is to let them finish their sentence,then smile and reply along the lines of "Well,you're wrong,but that's okay.Since what you think of my lifestyle choices is irellevent,it doesn't matter,so no harm done" then change the subject.

I tried this last weekend with excellent results

Oh,and any misogynistic Gawd who wills us to breed and call it the greatest thing we are capeable of can

This is back from May, when I lived in a little town in Arizona where dreams go to die...

I got bingoed by my breederific classmates and a teacher, and it was a humdinger - three on one. It was the day after a flight, and I was ranting about TWO screaming kids on a red-eye flight from Nashville to Phoenix. I was in a foul mood. So naturally, the teacher (whose wife had just sprogged again, and who seemed to take offense to me not aww-ing over the new pictures of his reptile-spawn that he shoved at us) asks if I hate children. I replied, "Yeah, today I do." This pisses him off, and he goes on about how sometimes ignoring the kid is the best option to quell a fit (yeah right) and if I thought that something as horrible as putting a hand over the kid's mouth would be acceptable. I said yes, and that I was glad I am never having kids. He pulls out the "you'll change your mind" card, and I offer a $10,000 bet that I will not sprog by the time I turn 45. He doesn't answer. A teen duh (whose lump was but a half a day old) pulled out "it's different when it's your ooowwwwnnn." What the christ?! It's been out for loving thirteen hours, and you already feel so into it? Another classmate asks if I'm not gonna have kids even when I'm 60. Yeah, he was that stupid. (Perhaps more on stupid classmates later.) I said no, and not if I live to be 1000 either. He spews out this gem: "As soon as I find a girl who's eighteen, I'm gonna knock her up as soon as possible." Me to him: "That's disgusting! And let me reiterate, I'm never having children." I must have burned their blistered little brains, because nobody else responded.

I don't remember much after that as I was seeing red. Dammit I hated that little town and my godforsaken high school. Hope it all gets levelled or burns down and fuck them if they try to rebuild it. It makes me sick to imagine how many aspirations that hellhole has claimed. That last year, I think I finally realized what could drive a person to pull a Columbine on their classmates. (I Had I a little more sense in my anger and not been as tired, I might have complained to higher-ups for harassment or persecution of my legitimate alternative lifestyle or some shit, but I was busy fighting another battle with administration over fucking graduation cords. Glad I moved far, far away from that place.

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

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michaela
This is back from May, when I lived in a little town in Arizona where dreams go to die...

I got bingoed by my breederific classmates and a teacher, and it was a humdinger - three on one. It was the day after a flight, and I was ranting about TWO screaming kids on a red-eye flight from Nashville to Phoenix. I was in a foul mood. So naturally, the teacher (whose wife had just sprogged again, and who seemed to take offense to me not aww-ing over the new pictures of his reptile-spawn that he shoved at us) asks if I hate children. I replied, "Yeah, today I do." This pisses him off, and he goes on about how sometimes ignoring the kid is the best option to quell a fit (yeah right) and if I thought that something as horrible as putting a hand over the kid's mouth would be acceptable. I said yes, and that I was glad I am never having kids. He pulls out the "you'll change your mind" card, and I offer a $10,000 bet that I will not sprog by the time I turn 45. He doesn't answer. A teen duh (whose lump was but a half a day old) pulled out "it's different when it's your ooowwwwnnn." What the christ?! It's been out for loving thirteen hours, and you already feel so into it? Another classmate asks if I'm not gonna have kids even when I'm 60. Yeah, he was that stupid. (Perhaps more on stupid classmates later.) I said no, and not if I live to be 1000 either. He spews out this gem: "As soon as I find a girl who's eighteen, I'm gonna knock her up as soon as possible." Me to him: "That's disgusting! And let me reiterate, I'm never having children." I must have burned their blistered little brains, because nobody else responded.

Welcome to my daily life x10.
I can't wait to GTFO of here.

We don't need MORE people on the planet, we need BETTER people.

“I don’t have pet peeves, I have major, psychotic fucking hatreds.”
— George Carlin

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michaela
This is back from May, when I lived in a little town in Arizona where dreams go to die...

I got bingoed by my breederific classmates and a teacher, and it was a humdinger - three on one. It was the day after a flight, and I was ranting about TWO screaming kids on a red-eye flight from Nashville to Phoenix. I was in a foul mood. So naturally, the teacher (whose wife had just sprogged again, and who seemed to take offense to me not aww-ing over the new pictures of his reptile-spawn that he shoved at us) asks if I hate children. I replied, "Yeah, today I do." This pisses him off, and he goes on about how sometimes ignoring the kid is the best option to quell a fit (yeah right) and if I thought that something as horrible as putting a hand over the kid's mouth would be acceptable. I said yes, and that I was glad I am never having kids. He pulls out the "you'll change your mind" card, and I offer a $10,000 bet that I will not sprog by the time I turn 45. He doesn't answer. A teen duh (whose lump was but a half a day old) pulled out "it's different when it's your ooowwwwnnn." What the christ?! It's been out for loving thirteen hours, and you already feel so into it? Another classmate asks if I'm not gonna have kids even when I'm 60. Yeah, he was that stupid. (Perhaps more on stupid classmates later.) I said no, and not if I live to be 1000 either. He spews out this gem: "As soon as I find a girl who's eighteen, I'm gonna knock her up as soon as possible." Me to him: "That's disgusting! And let me reiterate, I'm never having children." I must have burned their blistered little brains, because nobody else responded.

I don't remember much after that as I was seeing red. Dammit I hated that little town and my godforsaken high school. Hope it all gets levelled or burns down and fuck them if they try to rebuild it. It makes me sick to imagine how many aspirations that hellhole has claimed. That last year, I think I finally realized what could drive a person to pull a Columbine on their classmates. (I Had I a little more sense in my anger and not been as tired, I might have complained to higher-ups for harassment or persecution of my legitimate alternative lifestyle or some shit, but I was busy fighting another battle with administration over fucking graduation cords. Glad I moved far, far away from that place.

wow, that's frustrating!
once i revealed to one of my classmate in highschool, at religion class (it's a christian school), that i won't have kids forever. he made a fuss over it, made fun of me, and laughed loudly 'you are so weeeird! whoa, listen to the teacher girl, be fruitful and multiply!'
he continued to make fun of me for several days after that. 'see, i told you the purpose of marriage is to have children!'
i never reveal anything about child-freedom to anybody anymore after that. next time better held our tongue, arguing with stupid people is a waste of time.

"As soon as I find a girl who's eighteen, I'm gonna knock her up as soon as possible."
^^^i hope this guy gets killed before he found the bitch.

I got sort of bingoed at a presentation in the language class. The guy presenting started with: "this information will be good for you when you have kids" (the subject was about kids having 2 mother tongues) Of course all the pussies started to giggle, i just raised my eyebrow. That was a very "original" way to start you presentation. *yawn*

My wife and I just got back from staying with friends, or who we thought were friends for three weeks while we looked for a place to stay out of state. Long story short it didn't work out because our friend, who found out she was preggo while we were there, had the hormones raging so badly that she yelled us out of the house. While we were there though she would talk with my wife about how good I was with her kids and how we would make great parents and yadda yadda yadda. We're good with her kids because we dont want to offend her and we have patience still because we dont use it all up on kids of our own!

I got bingoed again last night by the same breeder friend I've mentioned before, along with one of her breeder friends (who happens to be an unemployed pill head living off disability benefits and doesn't have custody of and never sees her two kids). However, this time I saw it coming.

I love my DF. He is a wonderful man with many wonderful qualities. However, subtlety definitely isn’t his forte. He is just as fed up as I am with the bingoes my friend has thrown at us and he now has the habit of reverse-bingoing her whenever he gets the chance (mentioning how great it is to not have kids, etc). I don’t really agree with doing that either, it’s just as uncalled for (in my opinion) as the bingoes the childfree are constantly greeted with. Well, DF (dear fiancé), BF (breeder friend), pill head breeder (PHB) and I went to BF’s new apartment last night for a little housewarming party…just a few drinks and conversation. (Her daughter was at a sleepover.) I don’t even remember how it came up, but DF made a comment about how much he enjoys our two cats and how they’re the only ‘babies’ we’ll ever need. I think he also said something along the lines about how glad he is not to have kids. Well, that brought on the bingoes by both of them, including:

“It’s different when it’s your own.” (Said by PHB….really, then why are other people raising your two brats?)

“Who will take care of you when you’re old?” (To which I replied, “They have facilities for that” and PHB said, “Oh…good point.” Hehehehehe….

“If you only have one, you’ll be able to build a really close relationship and they’ll want to look after you when you’re old…besides, they’ll have no choice if they’re an only child.

“You both have such awesome DNA; you really need to create an amazing combination of it.” (Yeah, BF seriously said that.)

“You’ll regret it one day if you don’t have kids.” (Greeted with scornful laughter.)

“You’re not overpopulating the planet as long as you only have two to replace yourselves…it’s the people who have 5 kids or more that need to be fixed.”

There was more, but you get the idea. Every unoriginal bingo you’ve heard was probably thrown at us last night. Prior to last night, BF hadn’t bingoed us at all for a long time. There was SO much I wanted to say and it had the potential to turn real ugly real fast, but really, DF started it this time. I’m not thrilled by it. He thinks it’s justified because he knows when to drop it, but really, you can’t open a floodgate and not expect things to get out of control.

Anyway, I stopped responding to their idiocy and the subject was eventually changed. I’m pissed because I never start up with the whole “I’m SO happy I don’t have kids” thing, but apparently, I’m guilty by association.

Favourite counter bingo is "but my dog isn't going to turn 13, slam its bedroom door and tell me it hates me, after everything I've done for it'

'no, I would seriously shake it to death to get it to STFU'

Something cold and heartless towards infants usually shuts them up. It's like they realise 'oh it's not that she hasn't thought about it, she really doesn't want/like them'

People like this need to be shocked into silence and submission with a swift bingo to the nuts.

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nightshade
Favourite counter bingo is "but my dog isn't going to turn 13, slam its bedroom door and tell me it hates me, after everything I've done for it'

'no, I would seriously shake it to death to get it to STFU'

Something cold and heartless towards infants usually shuts them up. It's like they realise 'oh it's not that she hasn't thought about it, she really doesn't want/like them'

People like this need to be shocked into silence and submission with a swift bingo to the nuts.

Ahaha you are so correct. The more blunt and horrid you are the faster they shut up.

It certainly worked at my gyno visit last time. I got the "Oh but you would make a great mother." bingo and responded with "Oh? You think someone that feels only rage and disgust when a baby cries and has the urge to shake and strangle them should be a parent? Really? Because that's how they make me feel. Angry." Oh man she shut up FAST.

...often accompanied by a cackling laugh/wild giggling, to show how funny you find your comments.

Hey you all.. I have a question for ya. The one BINGO that I still get (at 58) is 'You'll never know what real love is because you never had a child" You all are discussing 'come backs' so... give me a good one for that comment. The 'I love my dh and my poodle' doesn't quite cut it.

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starlady
Hey you all.. I have a question for ya. The one BINGO that I still get (at 58) is 'You'll never know what real love is because you never had a child" You all are discussing 'come backs' so... give me a good one for that comment. The 'I love my dh and my poodle' doesn't quite cut it.

I would probably say something like "And you'll never know how to not be a thoughtless whore." or "And you'll never know how to think before you speak." for a more polite snarkiness. Well if I were you I mean.

Personally when I hit 55 I'm going to steadily transform into a cranky old crazy lady with a cane. Seeing me trip children with my cane and cackle by the time I'm 65 should deter any bingoes. It's gonna be AWESOME. And great fun

When my SIL gave me the 'you'll never know real love' line in one of her emails last year I wrote back and said "you'll never know the love of a real man either because you've always been obsessed with your kids'

(my bil left her right after the second one was born)

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starlady
Hey you all.. I have a question for ya. The one BINGO that I still get (at 58) is 'You'll never know what real love is because you never had a child" You all are discussing 'come backs' so... give me a good one for that comment. The 'I love my dh and my poodle' doesn't quite cut it.

If this is the same SIL you've talked about before, I would come back with one og these:

You'll never know what freedom and indepence are because you've raised a son who's going to depend on you when he's fifty.

You pay bills for someone plenty old enough to do that by himself. Your dumbass of a son will never be an independent adult. If that's "real love", I don't want it no thank you.

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starlady
When my SIL gave me the 'you'll never know real love' line in one of her emails last year I wrote back and said "you'll never know the love of a real man either because you've always been obsessed with your kids'

(my bil left her right after the second one was born)

Oh snap. It is always an advantage in the field of battle to personally know your enemy. Those are the most satisfying snap backs, when you know a cutting remark that will cut them close to home.