from: http://www.weddingquestions.net/bridal-favors/is-it-rude-to-bring-children-to-a-bridal-shower/

"Sunday, my daughter and I hosted a Bridal Shower for my niece. I mailed 20 invitations to individuals. No where on the invitation or envelope did I list "and family". All invitations were addressed to a single person. No one called to ask if it would be alright to bring children.

"At 2:00 Sunday afternoon, the guests started to arrive. The first child to arrive uninvited was my youngest brother’s daughter (my niece), age 9. She was with the mother of the bride, her aunt. The second child to arrive was the mother of the groom’s youngest child, her daughter age 8. The third and fourth children to arrive were my great nieces from my husband’s family, they arrived with my mother in law, they are age 5 and 9.

"Before all the guests had arrived, my mother in law cut into the cake, and prepared plates for herself and my great nieces. They sat in the kitchen and ate while the rest of the guests mingled, introduced themselves to each other and visited. My great nieces made several trips back to the refreshment table for fruit, punch, cheese and crackers and the very expensive macadamia nuts that were a "treat". While they were getting their food, they fingered all of the fruit kabobs, trying to get the ones loaded with fruit they liked. My mother in law sat and watched, laughing at them the entire time, not once telling them to leave the food alone. I tried to guide them away from the table, but that only worked if I stayed right there, which was impossible to do and greet guests....."

More details and comments at above address...

Once again, you DO have to spell it out for the fucking breeders. And post an armed guard at the door to run them off when they bring their brats anyway.

"Is it rude to bring children to a bridal shower?"

YES.


some questions DO have simple answers!

The older host was too kind. If that were me, I would have played nose guard at the front door and tackled any brat that dared to cross the threshold. I never understood why a host, who probably is stressed out after putting together a bridal shower or some other party, also has to play free babysitter. That's just disrespectful.

Yes it's freaking rude! This is a Bridal Shower, not even a Baby Shower! There's a reason it's usually only adult women! In the past, as far as I've experienced, the bride would sometimes get sexy lingerie, etc. It was a time for the women to share the bride's excitement over marrying her spouse. Kids have no place there whatsoever!

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"They will say that you are on the wrong road, if it is your own." ~Antonio Porchia

I had a surprise bridal shower. Sadly, I got totally wasted the night before and was so hungover I couldn't even enjoy my "big day". SURPRISE! BLARGH!

It was at a local restaurant that reserved a back area for us to gather and a few women brought their children. In this case, it was okay because our family is quite scattered and it gave some people an opportunity to see the children of close relatives that they never met before. Of course, i wasn't dead-set CF at the time, so I didn't complain. Also, I spent a lot of time in the ladies' room.

But in the OP's case, no. These were children that the bride and the guests surely saw all the time. There was no reason for them to be there.

I've found that even when the invitation specifically says, "Adults Only" a few ass hats will still bring their kids, so even that doesn't always work. I'd keep all the food out of sight in the fridge or in a cupboard until it was time for everyone to be served. I'd have another trusted guest sit by the punch bowl and "guard" it from the kids. They would be allowed one cup - and they would not be allowed to serve themselves. I once attended a wedding that had "Adults Only" on the invite. There were no less than twenty kids there - running around, crying, tripping people on the dance floor, etc. At one point, my friend the bride commented to me, "For someone who didn't want kids at her wedding, I sure got a shit load of 'em!"

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clematis
my mother in law cut into the cake, and prepared plates for herself and my great nieces. They sat in the kitchen and ate while the rest of the guests mingled, introduced themselves to each other and visited. My great nieces made several trips back to the refreshment table for fruit, punch, cheese and crackers and the very expensive macadamia nuts that were a "treat". While they were getting their food, they fingered all of the fruit kabobs, trying to get the ones loaded with fruit they liked. My mother in law sat and watched, laughing at them the entire time, not once telling them to leave the food alone. I tried to guide them away from the table, but that only worked if I stayed right there, which was impossible to do and greet guests....."

I think the real issue was the MIL. I bet if that harpy hadn't been there the hostess might have gotten a better handle on the situation. If you hang out on the MIL stories board long enough, you see how those old bats tend to influence the dynamic.

ETA: just read the responses and saw a couple of people noted the MIL not reigning in the kids. However, also noted the breederistic replies

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Bringing children to the bridal shower is perfectly acceptable, and young children often do not get their own invitation.

Who the fuck died and made you Miss Manners? I love how people make these sweeping declarations, based on their own state of breeding. Nasty snatch

"Is it rude to bring children to a bridal shower?"

Um, hello, YES, it is!

Shit, why is that even a question?!

Yes, it's rude! If the guests had brought uninvited adults, nobody would be questioning this. But, when it's kids, well, they're welcome everywhere! Anyone who doesn't agree is a big 'ol meaniehead, doncha know...

This is why I never throw parties.

People will keep doing this if it's allowed. The invites have to say Adults Only - RSVP. Let guests know you need an exact number so the RSVP is important. Then when someone comes with a brat they have to be told to leave. That is the only way to stop this. Bringing kyds after clearly being told not to in writing is not rude, it is a defiant and hostile act against the host. They are doing it purposely and they do not care about you so there is no need to be involved with them anymore. There is no way in hell I would allow any kids at my wedding especially, regardless of who brought them. Those people would be turned away and escorted out if necessary.

I just don't see this as an etiquette thing or something to be glossed over. There are liability issues as well as the fact that these guests think they can run the host's affair. These are not your friends or caring family members so there is no need for them to be at your party.

IMO it is rude to bring any uninvited guest to any event unless you have asked first. that's just good manners, but in my experience people wtih kids lose their manners rather quickly.

moral of the story? always always specify no children unless you want people to bring them.

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L'enfer, c'est les autres.

These bitches need to learn to put it in print.

I can't remember ever seeing kids at a shower, bridal or baby. But I try to duck all shower invitations like they were mortar rounds fired at my head. Too much estrogen in one place!

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also I am not looking for a women with kids or diseases herpes or any other sexual deceases

Question: How can one make a bridal or baby shower an even MORE unpleasant and insufferable experience?
Answer: Add some screaming babies and obnoxious, misbehaving toddlers, running amok, putting their sticky fingers on everything, especially the food.

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Tiquer
Question: How can one make a bridal or baby shower an even MORE unpleasant and insufferable experience?
Answer: Add some screaming babies and obnoxious, misbehaving toddlers, running amok, putting their sticky fingers on everything, especially the food.

That and, if it's a baby shower, be sure to include that gawdawful chocolate-in-the-diaper game or whatever the hell that is.

Wow, super-duper RUDE! People are the worst!

I'm planning my wedding, and I am super-relived that there aren't young kids in my family! All my cousins are about college-age now, too young to sprog...

It's surprising that this woman doesn't know her MIL well enough to know that she would be nothing but trouble at an affair like this, and hence, should not have invited her. This bitch must have had some kind of history of making trouble in the posting hostess's marriage.

jbs

I went to a coworker's bridal shower last week and it definitely wasn't kyd friendly. What with he adult oriented jokes and games and honeymoon jokes. I can't imagine the meltdown her poor sister (the host) would have had if kidsbhad showed up!

Everything has to be spelled out for the fucking breeders. And far as I am concerned, it is rude to bring the rugrats ANYPLACE.

Coincidentlally, I just got back from a bridal shower for my nephew's fiancee. There was only 1 kid there, thankfully. But the kid sat on my soon to be niece's lap while she was trying to upwrap her presents. She was much too nice to say anything but the kid's moo should not have allowed that. Then, I saw the kid playing with the balloon I had tied to my gift. Stupid ass kid!

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- The human gene pool could use a little chlorine

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M4P
Coincidentlally, I just got back from a bridal shower for my nephew's fiancee. There was only 1 kid there, thankfully. But the kid sat on my soon to be niece's lap while she was trying to upwrap her presents. She was much too nice to say anything but the kid's moo should not have allowed that. Then, I saw the kid playing with the balloon I had tied to my gift. Stupid ass kid!

Good thing it wasn't my shower. I would have slapped the shit out of the brat and the moo and then kicked their sorry asses on the street

Even if "no kids" or "adults only" is spelled out in clear enough English for even breeders to understand, some will still not take the hint because they'll think that only applies to everyone ELSE, but not to them. Because they are far too special for such restrictions. Hosts and hostesses are too scared of looking mean or alienating friends, so they won't kick breeders and their bastards out when they show up to a clearly adult affair. And they really need to because this will only reinforce the belief that breeders don't need to follow rules or directions and they'll just keep it up.

It's best to hire someone to man the door and not allow entry to anyone with a brat in tow - someone who is willing to physically restrain the breeder if they decide to try and shove their way in. Moos and Duhs are very notorious for starting brawls at social events.

So, in short, it's rude to bring a child to ANY kind of party or shower unless you know for sure the kid would be welcome.

Ranty CF goodness (updated 6.10.2013)
Caffeinated Childfree

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blondie
People will keep doing this if it's allowed. The invites have to say Adults Only - RSVP. Let guests know you need an exact number so the RSVP is important. Then when someone comes with a brat they have to be told to leave. That is the only way to stop this. Bringing kyds after clearly being told not to in writing is not rude, it is a defiant and hostile act against the host. They are doing it purposely and they do not care about you so there is no need to be involved with them anymore. There is no way in hell I would allow any kids at my wedding especially, regardless of who brought them. Those people would be turned away and escorted out if necessary.

I just don't see this as an etiquette thing or something to be glossed over. There are liability issues as well as the fact that these guests think they can run the host's affair. These are not your friends or caring family members so there is no need for them to be at your party.

even whe n you spell it out, as i said before, they presume you mean everybody BUT them. the only time it is acceptable to bring a child to an event at someone's house is IF the host or hostess SAYS SO. if they do not put a child on the invitation, the child should not be there. if they do not say "and family", the child should not be there. and if you do bring a child because you are allowed to, you do not cut into cakes early for them, let kids finger the foods or allow the kids to "pig out". when you allow your children to run amok or you bring uninvited children to a function, you disrespect the most or hostess and take advantage of their generosity.

The moos always whine, "But kids are famblee tooooo!"

Yeah, bullshit. I don't bring my family dog to parties, and you should keep your two-legged animals chained at home too.

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also I am not looking for a women with kids or diseases herpes or any other sexual deceases