CF Breeder Pleaser Gets a Bit of a Comeuppance?

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Breeder Pleaser Melissa
I had to think long and hard about my response to this topic.

Personally, I feel that people who vocally make their "dislike" of children evident lose far more than they gain. I don't want children, but it's not because I dislike them. I can even tolerate their bad behavior when I'm out in public quite well. However, I notice far too many grown childless adults turn into pouting babies themselves whenever they encounter children in public. A bawling baby wrecks their entire eating out experience. Standing in line next to a mom with unruly kids gets them into a perpetually foul mood.

You know what? Get over it. If this is the very worst thing you have to complain about, then your life is pretty charmed. You don't have to go home with the crying baby or belligerent toddler. Be thankful for that and have some mercy for parents who DO. They are children. That's how they're supposed to act to a certain degree. And don't pull this, "I was a perfect angel when I was a kid." No. You were not. Chances are excellent that you tested the nerves of many, even if you don't think that you did.

Take advantage of any position where you have a mentor relationship with a child in your life, be it if a niece, nephew or your friends' kids. Show them that childless adults are warm, compassionate, tolerant, caring, vibrant people--not hateful, intolerant curmudgeons or freaks. It's important that children understand that choosing to remain childless is just as normal as choosing to become a parent. As a kid, I always picked up on nasty looks of "child haters." It was frankly one of the reasons that I felt as though I needed to have kids--because I didn't want to be like those bitter, unhappy people!

You, as a childless by choice individual, have the unique opportunity to guide older kids who may feel confused about their desire to become a parent. You may be the only role model in their lives who says, "Hey, it's okay. You don't have to do this if you don't want to." You could be the person who saves them from making a big, bad, all-wrong choice. You may be the only person who tells children, YES, YOU HAVE A CHOICE!

When that same kid one day tells you, "Auntie Melissa, I want to be just like you when I grow up!" or when he/she turns to you for the guidance that his/her parents failed to provide, it will rock your world!

Just some thoughts ...

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You know what? Get over it. If this is the very worst thing you have to complain about, then your life is pretty charmed. You don't have to go home with the crying baby or belligerent toddler. Be thankful for that and have some mercy for parents who DO.

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They are children. That's how they're supposed to act to a certain degree.

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And don't pull this, "I was a perfect angel when I was a kid." No. You were not. Chances are excellent that you tested the nerves of many, even if you don't think that you did.

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Take advantage of any position where you have a mentor relationship with a child in your life, be it if a niece, nephew or your friends' kids. Show them that childless adults are warm, compassionate, tolerant, caring, vibrant people--not hateful, intolerant curmudgeons or freaks. It's important that children understand that choosing to remain childless is just as normal as choosing to become a parent. As a kid, I always picked up on nasty looks of "child haters." It was frankly one of the reasons that I felt as though I needed to have kids--because I didn't want to be like those bitter, unhappy people!

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Miss_Hannigan
Well well well, this will put dear, sweet, tolerant Melissa to the test. She'll have to get used to having two young 'uns around, who are sucking up resources and monopolizing time with her man-toy.

Methinks her patience will be sorely fucking tested. Expect a new member here in two years, tops.

Rope, noose, swing!

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Sorceress
A bawling baby wrecks their entire eating out experience.

Yeah, you know why? Because I pay good money for my food and the atmosphere to eat it in. I shouldn't have to endure undisciplined bratlings after I've shelled out.

Standing in line next to a mom with unruly kids gets them into a perpetually foul mood.

The Mom is the one who pisses me off. Those kids wouldn't be unruly if she'd do the goddamned job she signed up for. Don't like people rolling their eyes at your worthless crotchlings? Then fucking discipline them and make them behave! There is NOOO reason a kid can't stand in a line without screaming, grabbing, jumping up and down, or whatever. None whatsoever. It's called following up your orders- yes, you Mooma, are the BOSS, believe it or not -- with consequences if they don't behave. Not the majority of you who repeat "don't do that" as Shitford continues to do it, and you finally give up. Tell Shitford he's not getting that toy he wanted, or he can forget going to McDonald's, or whatever it was he wants. Then when you get home, swat the little bastard and make him go to his room with NO toys, NO TV, NO computer. Better yet, wrap some duct tape around his mouth and shove him in the closet. I bet the next time you go to the store he'll fucking well mind when you tell him "don't do that."

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Dumb Bitch
You know what? Get over it. If this is the very worst thing you have to complain about, then your life is pretty charmed.

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And don't pull this, "I was a perfect angel when I was a kid." No. You were not. Chances are excellent that you tested the nerves of many, even if you don't think that you did.

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Melissa
There was nothing draconian about the way my parents raised me. It was common sense stuff -- bed at eight o'clock on the dot, don't interrupt adults when they're conversing, don't run or scream in the house, eat what's on your plate, etc. It provided a good structure for me and it was excellent preparation for the real world. Kids need to know that they can trust adults to make the decisions that are in their best interest. Parents should never have to ask their own children how they want to be parented.
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If this man is a permissive parent, it definitely won't work for me; but if he's not, there's definitely a chance that it can.
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The adults get together and decide how the children fit into the household, and if changes need to be made, they are made. Not to say that the "needs" of the child are neglected; but the child might have to sacrifice his/her "wants" and understand that they have little say in how the household changes.

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thursdaynext

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And don't pull this, "I was a perfect angel when I was a kid." No. You were not. Chances are excellent that you tested the nerves of many, even if you don't think that you did.

I'm sure I did.
I was exceptionally quiet and self sufficient as a kid (been told so by pretty much every one of my parents friends although they worded it as "weird" "too sensible" and "mini little old lady"), but even so I'm sure I grated a lot of people.
I was, after all, raised by what I now recognise as bad parents. And that's why I despise breeders, not because I hate kids, but because I feel sorry for them.

I'm not keen on kids, I wouldn't choose to socialise with them or anything but I'd never be nasty to one, or glare at them, I save that for the ignorant twats who shat them out.
And from what I can see that's not an unusual mindset around here, could be wrong.

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Sorceress
THIS!!!! Also, wtf is up with the welfare ho's yelling, and being an overall bitch,to their otherwise decent, and well-behaved children? How do you explain that? The poor kids don't understand that their mom's a bitch and they didn't do anything wrong. Poor things.

You're exactly right. I've seen this so many times in stores. The kids aren't being bad but the Moo is just berating them in a screechy voice that they must hear in their nightmares. I do feel sorry for these kids who have to endure that all the time. Kids will be kids to a certain extent. Disciplining them is necessary, but when it borders on abusive.... it just scares me to think that if they talk to their kids like this in public, how much worse is it at home behind closed doors?

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Dorisan
Interesting. Scratch the average CF person and you'll find that those are the same principles we'd like to see parents deploy. If they do, odds are that the kid would be far less inclined to demonstrate the kind of behavior that aggravates us. Yet, to Melissa, that is the sort of behavior we need to "get over".

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yurble

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Dorisan
Interesting. Scratch the average CF person and you'll find that those are the same principles we'd like to see parents deploy. If they do, odds are that the kid would be far less inclined to demonstrate the kind of behavior that aggravates us. Yet, to Melissa, that is the sort of behavior we need to "get over".

That's exactly what I was thinking, and what I was trying to demonstrate with my mashup.

And Kim, I really like your summary on how doing things in the past doesn't mean you accept them from others now.

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And don't pull this, "I was a perfect angel when I was a kid." No. You were not. Chances are excellent that you tested the nerves of many, even if you don't think that you did.

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Sounds like this dame wants to parent after all.

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Miss_Hannigan
Well well well, this will put dear, sweet, tolerant Melissa to the test. She'll have to get used to having two young 'uns around, who are sucking up resources and monopolizing time with her man-toy. \

Methinks her patience will be sorely fucking tested. Expect a new member here in two years, tops.

Rope, noose, swing!