Im a guy and am tired of sister in law with new kid

My sister in law just had a new baby. Every family event that I go to anymore is dedicated to everyone spending the entire event cooing and talking about this new kid. Anytime I mention anything to my wife about how I feel akward going to events anymore Im looked at like a monster and how can I even have any bad feelings towards a newborn.

When my sister in law leaves to go home, she is always trying to literally shove her newborn in my face to give it a hug which I find disturbing.

I told my wife that if they are going to go to every event and talk only about themselves then I am going to make it a point to sit there and bore people for 4 to five hours only talking about myself and my interests.

Im honestly tired of it and I try not to even hang out with them or even acknowledge them because as a husband who will never have kids I have nothing in common with them and so there no point.

I've definitely been there, but I'm female. I have zero in common with women whose only worth is their damn uterus, not their brain.

I ignore them to the best of my ability and if possible, (or give it minimal attention effort, enough to shut them up). Thankfully there are no babies currently in our breeder famblees, until one whelps again. I sure as hell hope not, although I can sympathize, because it's hell.

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lab mom

I dont know what I would do if I didnt have a cell phone that had the internet on it at parties such as these....that is my way of not getting involved in any stupid kid events....

I completely get where you're coming from, and welcome BTW!
My husband and I have flat out stopped attending family events since the babies have arrived and dominated EVERYTHING.
They drool, smell and scream and I refuse to spend time in their presence while all the women look at me like I'm the devil for not touching, looking at, fussing over or generally making an ass of myself in front of the brats.
Is there any way you can skip some of these snooze-fests?
It's done wonders for my sanity to not have to dread every birthday, xmas, thanksgiving, etc!

Mobile net is a god-send.

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lab mom

Im trying to get out of every event I can. Problem is that my brother also just had a baby so I have to go once in a while....In the past I showed such a disinterest in anyones kids that my brother picked someone else to be godfather! (I was happy about that)

If it was me in your place I'd come right out and say something like"kyd's great. I'm just not that into it."
I've also been known to tell absolute strangers to "shut that fucking thing up" in regards to a baybee.
Although my approach doesn't normally win friends or influence people.

Nice one getting out of godfather duty!:beer

Carlin suggested a good approach: just go with the flow. "Mmhmm....boy....girl...older boy...older girl. Good, four. Listen, I need to go wash my crotch, I'll talk to you later." Try that. Modify to your own needs.

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mariahlova
Anytime I mention anything to my wife about how I feel akward going to events anymore Im looked at like a monster and how can I even have any bad feelings towards a newborn.

Wait - what, your wife is painting you that way? Umm ..... bad wife if that is so. You aren't obligated to offer obeisance and attend every event if all the attention swirls around the new kid (IMO). Politeness, congratulations and wishes for a good future for the child are obligatory, but if you wish to practice detachment after that, there's no call for your wife to try and guilt you about it.

A good spouse would of backed you up, IHMO. Your spouse sounds more like a breeder pleaser, than staunchly childfree. Is she interested in being childfree for the moment, or always?

I skip these events. An in-law recently invited me to a baptism, but really, what's an atheist who doesn't like kids going to do at an event like that anyway? Tell them what I think of indoctrinating children into religion, or tell them what I think about contributing to overpopulation?

My own family is not very baby-oriented, so I'm not really used to this sort of 'pressure'. I find it somewhat amusing that they think I will feel obligated to attend. Eventually they will realize that it's win-win that I skip most famblee events, especially all involving loaves.

Most def skip the events. They are breeders lame attempt at baybee stalking.

The only way to avoid that is to just stay away from such events. Now i can say i'm a bit lucky because my family/relatives don't have any new loaves. But occasionally i get these kind of invitations from friends of friends and i just refuse politely saying i have other plans which i made before the invitiation. It's useless to go over there because being a woman you are practically obliged to coo over the little shit and i have no feelings towards them whatsoever. And besides i feel i am very misplaced at these events. I just avoid them as much as possible.

mariahlova:

I was in the same boat for years. My sister had several kids, and I was looked upon as the cold, heartless bitch becuase I wouldn't hold the babies, wouldn't change any diapers, wouldn't babysit, wouldn't feed the babies, showed complete indifference to anything baby, asked them WHY they had to constantly talk about house/babies when there was a whole WORLD outside their door, etc... This went on for YEARS. Then, the parents were always slandering me to their kids behind my back, so you can imagine the relationship I had with my nieces and nephews. Oh well....

It will worse before it gets better, trust me on this. Eventually, after a few years, they'll stop shoving the damn kid in your face, because they'll see that they cannot influence you with it. If they have more kids, they be less likely to shove the second or third kid at you because they'll know how you felt about the first one. When the kids are older, high school age, you'll be able to talk to them normally and they'll come around. It's just the bullshit parents for right now.

Hang in there, it's not so bad as it seems.

Reading this makes me thankful DH's family lives far away. His side of the family breeds early and they breed often. They can't comprehend why people wouldn't breed to the limit of their finances and their ability. He has many siblings and nieces and nephews.

If we lived in the same city, we would have possibly had friction over this issue, and I would have had to set a firm boundary. I live in the same city with some of my relatives, and I don't even see them every weekend. I see them when I want to, not out of guilt or obligation. I have a stressful job during the week and I cherish my alone time during the weekend.

Folks, this is not my first marriage, and I've learned a couple of lessons along the way. Lesson numero Uno is: Never do anything the first year that you are not prepared to do the next thirty. The brilliant simplicity of this rule cannot be overstated and it works wonders for many life situations. For example I resent the implication that because I have a uterus, I automatically become the social chairman for the relationship. After DH and I got married the subject came up around his family, probably because "we" missed something, I casually remarked that that DH is in charge of birthdays and gifts for his family and I'm in charge of the same for mine. I never took on that obligation because I didn't want that job for the next 30 years. (He did it when he was single; why can't he keep doing it? )

Mariahlova, I feel for you for two reasons: 1 it appears your in-laws are morons who are incapable of entertaining adults. I mean, sitting around and watching a baybee is hardly entertaining. 2. your wife is not backing you up. It sounds like you liked visiting your in-laws until they became total dolts. If it looks like future interactions will be all about the baybee, I would suggest you limit your visits over there. You don't need to go over there as much--- you have "plans" and of course your wife is free to go over there as much as she wants. If this is a standing weekly thing, like an every Sunday night dinner, and it's something you enjoyed before, then this is going to be more difficult. Please provide details as to what is expected of you. Your wife's behavior could be somewhat concerning.

But in the spirit of not doing something for the next 30 years, I'd suggest you start now. I like a combo between sb's approach and Peace's: "kid's great...I'm just not that into babies," and staying away more. If more babies are coming down the birth canal, you might as well get them used to the reality that you aren't going to be fawning over each new addition.