Child-Free wedding planning not easy!

My coworker is getting married in a few months. The reception is in the evening at a sit-down restaurant. With the exception of her nephew and the groom's niece, NO CHILDREN are invited to this event. However, that hasn't stopped another one of our coworkers, who is also invited, to keep asking, "Is my baby STILL not invited?" His baby is a bit over a year old, and he and his wife drag him everywhere. When she told him her wedding plans she told him, "No kids." When she sent out the invites, the kid's name wasn't on it. And yet, he asked her just a few days ago if she had changed her mind yet! The kicker is, this coworker's wife is not just one of the guests, but she's also been hired to take all the pictures that day! How does he expect a baby to sit through a regular wedding/reception, let alone a wedding in which he and the wife have to get there hours earlier, and have a job to do? The bride-to-be, thankfully, has been very firm with this guy. her answer is NOT going to change!

These people sound exactly like the type to bring the kid anyway, and then claim they couldn't find a babysitter. I hope your coworker has a plan to deal with something like this if it happens.

Uh oh. Yeah, I foresee the very strong possibility of the sitter "cancelling" on them, and them showing up with the baby because they just have to take the pictures. If you're good with a camera, you might offer to be the standby photographer, just in case they pull that. If childed folks in question are doing the actual professional shots and not just being guests and finding good candids, they shouldn't have anything or anyone extra along anyway. No way would I hire a photographer who brought a baby along on the shoot.

I'm glad the bride-to-be is sticking to her guns on this one. I hope they accept what they're being told and leave the kid at home. Making repeated inquiries about adding an uninvited guest is just flat-out rude.

I am actually one of the bridesmaids, so I wouldn't be able to take pictures, anyway. The wife is a good photographer, and she is very reasonably priced (now I see why! LOL) I'm not sure what my friend would do if they showed up with the baby. Honestly, I can't figure out why they would even WANT to bring him! It's their first baby, and they seem to think that everyone else is enamored with him as they are.

Oof. This is one tricky thing that can come with having a guest cover photography. If it's a pro, and they're being unprofessional, the bride and groom can switch to someone else, or get a refund, or something. If it's a friend/guest, your co-worker is kind of trapped. Sure, rude and/or uninvited guests can be denied admission to the event...but then the couple is stuck with no photos, or those snapped by other guests.

If they ask again, and your co-worker's feeling generous, she can say, "No, it's still an adult event. Here's the name of a sitter my friends use." It answers the question and eliminates excuses, all in one fell swoop.

If it were me and someone was pestering about wanting a special exception for their kid, I'd be looking into finding a different pro photographer, or an alternate guest who's already invited.

I don't know why anyone would WANT to bring a baby to an event like an adult wedding anyway. I'm with you on that one, gymrat. It's possible to love your kids and enjoy time with them, but still have fun without them. Some people never seem to get the hang of this concept.

In hindsight, the bride-to-be is now sorry that she didn't just hire a professional, but she was trying to stick to a budget. If they show up with the baby, it will just be tough on them. There are going to be a lot of twenty-somethings drinking, dancing, being loud and partying, and they aren't going to care about someone's kid. I honestly don't think that they will bring the baby, but this guy is just an ass, and is trying to make my friend feel guilty.

I dunno, it seems like she was asking for breeder drama as soon as she invited them both and asked her to be the photographer. She knew they thoughtlessly drag the kid everywhere... no surprise that he's whining about the kid 'still' not being invited.

Since she's determined to stay in budget, have her remind them to get a sitter. Maybe suggest that she might not be able to focus and do a good job if the kid is underfoot. (We all know just how good duhs are with looking after their kids, particularly if moomy is around. He'll still leave it to her!)

I'd tell her to expect the worse. I wouldn't put it past them to bring the brat anyway. I hope they aren't in the loop and know that she can't/won't hire someone else to take pictures/video. It may make them even more likely to bring snotleigh.

And she might get passive/aggressive and do a crappy job, but then the bride can sue her.

One big argument to not invite breeders!

I've said it a million times, but I will repeat. For breeders, weddings are ALL about the free food, bratstalking and to stealing the thunder from the bride and groom because they are jealous. No other fucking reasons.

One of my nursing school friends was livid when she found one of her relative's brats putting its fingers in her wedding cake. I would have taken an axe to its head.

For our fifth anniversary Hubby and I are going to have the weddcing we always wanted but didn't get. My Matron of Honor was the first one to decide no kids period for the wedding. If my Matron of Honor is capable of finding a sitter I don't see why anone else can't. MOH has six.

In the bride's place I would ask tactfully,"If someone with six can plan for a baby sitter, why can't someone with just one???"

You have to stick to your guns on this. I hope she does and has a backup photographer waiting in the wings. I had a call from one of my guests for my wedding only a couple days before the event, telling me that if they couldn't bring their newborn, they couldn't come. I told them I was sorry that I wouldn't be able to see them there and called up one of my backup list couples. Done and done. And the backup couple were happy to just be there, even though they didn't get to choose their entree. It isn't worth having your wedding ruined by a lil' shrieker.

Were I the bride, I would be straight up with the wife photographer and tell her that having stipulated a no-kids wedding, the baby-nagging from the husband damaged the wife's professional image and made me consider an alternate photographer. Though I'd likely have canned her outright as soon as the baby-stalking started, contrary to my wedding wishes, and would have picked another photographer.

the bride-to-be needs to hire a different photographer and uninvite these two breeders.

seriously, this has disaster written all over it.

If I were her, I would find another photographer. Then I would call the moo photographer and express my regrets that she will no longer be photographing my wedding. When the moo asks "what happened?" I would say that her husband made it very clear that the no-kids rule was going to be a problem for them, and because I don't want to make life difficult and keep her away from her pwecious babybee for even a few hours eyes2 that I have gone ahead and signed a contract with someone else.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

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LoveToLurk
If I were her, I would find another photographer. Then I would call the moo photographer and express my regrets that she will no longer be photographing my wedding. When the moo asks "what happened?" I would say that her husband made it very clear that the no-kids rule was going to be a problem for them, and because I don't want to make life difficult and keep her away from her pwecious babybee for even a few hours eyes2 that I have gone ahead and signed a contract with someone else.

Ya, and make it sound like you're concerned about the baybee. After all, you do work with this person and you don't want to create a "hostile work environment" for him.

("You" = the bride)

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

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myrna minkoff
the bride-to-be needs to hire a different photographer and uninvite these two breeders.

seriously, this has disaster written all over it.

I 100% agree. What is it about people, and breeder especially, that they can't understand how this works.

If it's my party, I get to invite who I want. I get to set the terms and times. If you can't abide by this, then please RSVP no.

It's not hard, people. The invitation states who is invited.

She has told him more than once that his baby is NOT on the guest list. It will be interesting to see what happens. I have a strong suspicion that he will end up staying home with the baby and the wife/photographer will come to the wedding solo, be in a pissy mood, get her job done ASAP and leave. The wedding isn't for about six more weeks, so I'll let you know how it all plays out. Whatever ends up happening, it's not going to effect me in the least, as I plan on having a good time, and completely ignoring any children who may be there!

That's another scenario I thought of as well, gymrat, after I posted. I hope the quality of the shots turns out okay, as you can't exactly do wedding photo re-takes. Hopefully your co-worker has their refund rules in writing in case that happens. She can't claim "couldn't find a sitter" either. They've had time. They just don't want to follow etiquette. Rules are for other people, ya know.

Parents sometimes make adult-only invitations seem so complex. eyes2 There is not really any grey area. Even having a flower girl and ring bearer in the wedding party doesn't make any grey area. The invitation and the parental decision-tree that follows it are simple. I could draw up a simple flowchart in ten seconds. Twenty, if you want it pretty. Hmm, this could be printed up in fancy gilt print and included with CF wedding invites...I may have an idea for a side business here...

Keep us posted, gymrat. I'm curious to see how this plays out.