one or two word" kyd phrases " that make you gag

Let me get this started with four or five. Remember no more than TWO words.

1-baby bump
2- baby daddy
3- precious cargo
4- diaper dump[gag!!!]

"(the) bean"
"diaper blowout"
"cervical mucus" (related to having kids, I think it qualifies)
"spectrum diagnosis"
"fell pregnant"
"angel babies"

Do acronyms count? If so:
BFing
EC
GD
TTC

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

spit up (puke is puke)
sippy cup (you can just call it a cup, damn it!)
paci (instead of pacifier)
binkie (it's either a pacifier or a blanket)

It's your hell; you rot in it!

baby dancing
anything ds, dd, dh, etc.

Little One

Little Man

We're Pregnant

Latch/latched/latching

Expressed/expressing

lactation consultant
baby daddy

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Established tiling methods are for unlambent nonbreathers filled with tiny rage.--CrabCake

I hate these phrases:

"baby dancing" FFS, you are old enough to fuck; just say you had sex.

referring to a baby as "a nursling." Jebus, I really loathe that one.

"We're pregnant." I hate it when men say this. If your asshole isn't being ripped on delivery day, you aren't pregnant, period. Say "she's pregnant." I'm even okay with "we're expecting a baybee in September." Your dick worked, but you still can't bend a medical term because of it.

Infantizing words, such as using the word "tummy" when abdomen is a lot more accurate. And don't tell other kids that Mawmy "has a baby in her tummy." It's not in her stomach. Think of something else.

In general I can't stand to see people talk to kids in babyfied ways. FFS, it's a small human. Most kids aren't stupid and maybe they could benefit from hearing words that aren't dumbed down.

"TTC." 99.9% of the time, there is absolutely no reason for you to tell someone this in a social situation. Just say, "we hope to have children" and save the details for your medical doctor. I don't need to know that you and your partner are having desperate sex all the time.

I'd have to go along with Bean, Little Man, and Sippy Cup, although Baby Bump would get honorable mention as would many others.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Doula. That word irks the shit outta me.

Babydancing, little man, and we're pregnant.

I hate it when people refer to the "innocent children" It infuriates me.

"Whaaa whaa, Moo Moo, think of all the innocent children"

"Mooooooo What about the life of your innocent unborn child."

When the pro-liars start with this shit, I just want to let them know that any "child" that takes up residence in my body isn't innocent. It's guilty-as-fuck.

Edited to add the baby cage Behold

glowing - You have increased blood flow due to having, well, increased blood volume. you're not glowing. You're incubating a parasite.

breast milk - It's milk. You've probably told everyone on earth that you're nursing your child, so you don't have to call it breast milk. We don't call milk from a cow "udder milk." We don't call milk from a dog "teat milk."

Any cutesy name for the genitals.

Any cutesy name for bodily functions. They are just as gross as grown up bodily functions. Sometimes even more so.

It's your hell; you rot in it!

The ones I hate the most are as follows:

Nursies

Milkies

Nursey snacks

tum tum

poopy doo (I heard some moo say this to a toadler in a restaurant)

doody

poo poo

I'm going to stop before I make myself any sicker than I already have.

Bumpies, for pregnant women. Just ... no! That always reminds me of Shirley's cow named Bumpy (from Boston Legal).

Baby bump.

Baby dance. That's disgusting. I don't want to be thinking about loaves while I'm having sex.

"Fell pregnant". Sure, it's just like falling asleep.

Breast milk. All milk comes from a breast! Except for the platypus; they don't actually have breasts, although they do have mammary glands. Just call it milk!

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" ... what's one more once you've already got two shedding on the couch?"

Baby Bump -- tops my list. Can't stand it! I like shopping at the health food store in town. The magazine rack at the checkout features gardening and fitness magazines, not magazines plastered with LOOK AT (place favorite female celebrity's name here) BABY BUMP! No, I don't think I will.

Innocent Child -- a paradox at best, an oxymoron at worst. Innocent? BWAHAHAHA! I was a child once, and believe me, I was much more of a professional liar at three than I am now, and I get paid to make stuff up these days.

But Why -- as in "but why don't you have children?" Nuff said. Also, it qualifies as an innappropriate use of a conjunction at the beginning of a sentence.

Anything in Baby-Talk -- not a two word answer to the OP. Sorry. But it does seem that many baby-talk words are two syllables, as in Tum Tums, Bankie, Poo Poo. Sigh. I guess I get this one from my father. Dad was adamant about people speaking baby-talk around me. "If you cain't speak English to the boy, don't talk to him at all!"

I hate:

Nursling - UGH
Any cutesy nicknames for genitals that parunts use

Baby bump, baby dance, sippy cup, diaper blowout, nursies, milkies, num nums in reference to breasts.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

Pee Pee

Wee Wee

Hoo Ha

Potty Training

Melt Down - this one especially irks me because "melt down" was first used to describe nuclear accidents, not a brat throwing a tantrum. This both exaggerates and yet minimizes a tantrum - at the same time.

Semi interesting factoid about me - my permanent residence is very close to a failed nuke plant. Yes, there was an accident there. You wanna talk melt downs?

Reminds me - not a 'kid' phrase, but a favorite Moo phrase -

Mani Pedi. Thought of this because if these Cows want a *really good* Spa Day - they can come and roll around on the Asbestos polluted beach by the failed nuke plant! Exfoliants? We got exfoliants!!! Tickle your lungs pink, too!

Single Mom

Extreme Couponing

AMAZING

Girls Night

Mommy Group

TTC

SAHM

Multi Tasking

Hip Mom

Cool Mom

Honey Boo Boo Chile

Chile

Chywuld

Chirren

Cheerun

Kidlets

Anything bastardized by making Mom a prefix -
Momtrepreneur

Momtographer

Momversation

" ~ As a Mom ~ "

Staycation

Happy Family

Family Oriented

Hot Dad

Dad's Babysitting

Princess

Daddy's Princess

JAP (= Jewish American Princess)

Girly Girl

Me Time

God's Will

God Provides



~ I'm sure more will come to me.

Side note: EP I have noticed that you are interested in names, words, and phrases. Maybe you should take up writing? You could take all the words and phrases here and make a little story of it, I'll bet. A 'crossword' or 'word search' puzzle too!

Yummy Mummy
Nurseling
Doula
Baybee-Dancing
Binky
Diaper-Blowout
Mom-Sexy
Little Man
Mama-Bear
TTC
Family Man
Anything with the word "Famblee" attached.
Any Infertile Myrtle who states that infertility is worse than cancer.
Any time they refer to their chyldrun as "Gawd's Blessings"

Little miracles. There was a daycare near our house in California named as such. There was so much shreiking evrytime we drove nearby, my husband would say :"They're miracles alright. Nobody has killed them yet".

"Quietly fussing"

"Amazing" or "magical" to describe anything a loaf does

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

One that I don't hear much anymore- Time Out- maybe as piss poor an excuse for discipline as has ever existed.

I agree with potty training- was going to be on my original list

Soccer mom- BLEAGHHH!!!

Pull Ups

Visitation (reminds me of a Wake / Funeral)

Supervised Visitation

Men's Rights

ADD

Special Needs

Autism

WIC

VBAC

Gluten Free

Nut Free

Pet Free

Family Vacation

Family Vehicle

Crossover (whatever the fuck THAT means) vehicle

Sport Utility

Soccer Mom

Hockey Mom

NASCAR Dad

Kegels

Kid Friendly

Mom Friendly

Famblee Friendly

Famblee Friendly Legislation

Job Share

Work/Life Balance

Affordable Childcare

Free Childcare

Cracked Nipples

Mom Jeans

Mom Hair

Octo Mom

K 8

The Children!

OB GYN

Dad Time

Gifted

Skin Contact

Birth Plan

Water Birth

Mid Wife

Angel Clumps

Born Sleeping

Michelle Duggar

Jim Bob Duggar

Quiverfull

Sexy Time

Candle Party

Panties

50 Shades

- - - - -

More will come to me eventually.

Floaties

That's when a family member's kid drinks out of your glass when you're not paying attention and leaves behind UFOs (Unidentified Floating Objects) in your drink.

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I walk the path of life to my own rhythm, my own beat-if you don't like it, step off and find your own damn song!

The words Sippy cup and Baby Bump make me want to commit bloody murder anytime I hear those two words.

your children are overrated and overvalued, and
you've turned them into little cult objects. George Carlin

Not a single gram of fuck shall be given today