The Childfree Christian

Yes, they DO exist! Her newest post is a sad one, though. Her brother had an 'accident', apparently. Poor woman.

http://childfreechristian.blogspot.com/2011/08/im-going-to-be-aunt-and-im-not-happy.html

Decent blog post; the writer makes one feel her disappointment. However, the words "Falling prey to carelessness.." are a cop out. It's as if the brother was being stalked by something, fell into its clutches, and was devoured. It diminishes the responsibility and blame.

He appears to have been a fence sitter, as the writer stated, but all it took was a slight push to knock him over to the childed side. Makes me wonder if he'll be one of those kind of guys who is OK with becoming a father because he won't have to do the runt work - it will all be foisted on the mother. Those guys are the kind who typically have the "whatever happens, happens" attitude. IMO, they are wretches down

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Shiny
Yes, they DO exist!

I'm one. :redface I share the author's inclination to avoid talking about my religious beliefs on childfree boards or forums, though. Teh haterade, it flow-eth.

I really feel her pain about becoming an aunt. Very sad situation, from the sound of it...

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"They will say that you are on the wrong road, if it is your own." ~Antonio Porchia

I'm the same, although it's probably been more than a year since I've even attended church due to bingoes and generally being ignored because well . . . no one at churches knows exactly what to say to or do with me because I haven't followed the lifescript at my age. I'd probably be shunned anyways due to me being so 'tolerant' of things Christians don't generally approve of.

I think I can empathize, Shiny. I'm with a progressive (liberal) church, but even then, I attend the earliest service, which generally means it's me and the senior citizens (which is perfect for me). The number of times I've been bingoed by Christians is too many times to count, though it's never actually happened at my current church.

That being said, I visited and did not return to a number of churches due the incredibly pro-natalist pushes I found. Heck, people don't even go to church for a real spiritual experience anymore, from what I can tell, and they sure as hell don't take their disruptive kids out.

I was acting as worship leader for the first time at a church I left one Sunday, when my entire prayer was interrupted by a howling (and I mean HOWLING) baby. It was so bad that the minister, a queer woman, stopped me. She looked out into the rows of people until she made eye contact with the handler, and said loudly, "Really? You've had three of these, and you still don't know what to do at this point?"

The woman bolted with the squaller immediately, but the prayer was ruined. Still, have to give props to the minister on that one...

I try to be a Christian - which is why I shun organized religion! I was raised in the Catholic church, which is where I witnessed prejudice, bias, favoritism, pedophilia, hypocrisy, corruption, and downright lies, among other things. It turned me off completely. I am just now starting to come around again, to what I think a true Christian is: Trying to help people, being honest and kind, and trying to make the world a better place. I don't need a church for that.

I was raised in a Southern Baptist church with my mother being the church organist. I was either at the church or on a church sponsored retreat or activity at most any given time up until I reached the age of 17. It was at this church I became disgruntled with the "Christian" way of life which gymrat summed up pretty well. Many years later I realized it wasn't Christianity (or any other religion) that was to blame, but rater it was just certain people who basically abused their religion in too many ways to count.

I see nothing wrong at all with someone practicing a religion or trying to live a peaceful and kind existence like all recorded accounts of Jesus say he lived. Where I have a problem with it is with the asshole, nutcase, hypocritical, women hating, racists, ignorant, self righteous, pious, religious fundamentalists who honestly believe that THEIR way is the ONLY way and they alone will be the only ones admitted into Heaven. I despise them with every fiber in my being and would sooner slap them than look at them.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

I was raised independent baptist but we mostly attended southern baptist churches when we moved to our current location fifteen years ago. I used to love church, I was there mostly every time the doors were open. And then I was out sick for weeks and no one, NO ONE even called us or came out to visit or bother finding out why we weren't there. That's not to mention the cliques and favoritism nonsense that went on. People would get up there and scream and moan and warn us all about the dangers of drinking and sex and Harry Potter and gays eyes2 all while ignoring the toxic vibes their own were putting off. It used to really upset me, but now that I see my old 'friends' married and saddled with brats and their lives are filled with mundane 'joys' while I'm free to do whatever and whoever I please . . . well I can't help but feel a little smug. Congratulations on spending six years in college, girls! You're putting that to good use by being a SAHM.

I am a Christian as well. I don't worry so much about being bingo-ed because I am very vocal in my congregation about my and my husband's childfree views. Everyone accepts it as who we are. The only time we have to deal with it is when we run into people who we haven't seen in years and who aren't familiar with our stand. We shut it down quick, though, with the following response: "We are surgically incapable of procreation." Husband got Vasectomy 2 months after we married, I got a total hysterectomy 6 years later. Done and done! No one can "but" us then. There are a couple little brats in our congregation that are pretty good birth control anyway.

This will probably be the only time I discuss religion on a public forum from now on unless specifically asked. It may be a way of life for me, but it's not everyone's choce. Kind of like kids!

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Shiny
I was raised independent baptist but we mostly attended southern baptist churches when we moved to our current location fifteen years ago. I used to love church, I was there mostly every time the doors were open. And then I was out sick for weeks and no one, NO ONE even called us or came out to visit or bother finding out why we weren't there. That's not to mention the cliques and favoritism nonsense that went on. People would get up there and scream and moan and warn us all about the dangers of drinking and sex and Harry Potter and gays eyes2 all while ignoring the toxic vibes their own were putting off. It used to really upset me, but now that I see my old 'friends' married and saddled with brats and their lives are filled with mundane 'joys' while I'm free to do whatever and whoever I please . . . well I can't help but feel a little smug. Congratulations on spending six years in college, girls! You're putting that to good use by being a SAHM.

I had a similarly sour experience with my last husband's Episcopal church. I gave church people another go after 15 years away and occasionally went to services and other functions, but more importantly I volunteered every year at one of their elderly homes to cater a birthday luncheon, including "entertainment", for 75 or so people. Although I wasn't a member of their church, I also sent breakfast trays to them every couple of weeks for the members to enjoy before Sunday school. Anyway, I had a serious, spend a month in a hospital, type of illness which in addition to being a devastating brain anuerysim, I wasn't able to drive for 6 months either and they were ALL aware of it. Other than being told by my inlaws how I was on their prayer list and a handful of "get well soon" cards, NO ONE called or even bothered to bring a crock pot of soup over.

Several months into it, one of them called me and casually said, AS IF everything was "normal", "Mille won't be able to help with the catered event this year, do you think you can handle it by yourself?" I was LIVID and totally lost it on the woman, but I do believe I got my point across. First, giving her the benefit of the doubt, I asked if she had known what had happened to me, I was blinded in one eye, left partially paralyzed, and couldn't drive for six months. The STUPID cunt said, "Yes, but your husband said you were much better". If was after that I went OFF on her.

Word must not have gotten out because a few months after that I took a cab to the grocery store and while there I ran into a DIFFERENT cunt who had the same attitude of, "You look WONDERFUL! I thought you were in a wheel chair! We sure do miss your breakfast trays!"". To which I replied, "Well Margaret, that makes me feel even worse that you never bothered to even bring me a casserole if you THOUGHT I was in a wheel chair! Oh and NO, I will NOT be sending any more trays", and then I walked off.

After that, dozens of "concerned" parishioners were telling my mother in law how "worried" they all were about me because I just hadn't seemed like myself lately."

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

That is terrible. I hope those people feel like utter shit.


That is exactly why I don't even bother with friends, anymore. Or, even some family members. It all ends up being a fucking one-way street, and you realize just how unimportant you really are to someone when you actually might need some help, for a change.

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That is terrible. I hope those people feel like utter shit.


That is exactly why I don't even bother with friends, anymore. Or, even some family members. It all ends up being a fucking one-way street, and you realize just how unimportant you really are to someone when you actually might need some help, for a change.

No, they do NOT. Their general attitude is that something is "wrong" with us! Oh, they'll "pray" for us, but then that absolves them from having to do anything. It's not like I sat around waiting on people to praise me or reciprocate all of those years I did shit for them, hosted their baby shitting showers, or gave their stupid kids presents. Up until I was 41 I was extremely able bodied and full of energy with PLENTY to spare.It never occurred to me I'd be literally shut down for a time with anything like that. However, when the time came that I TRULY needed help and no one volunteered, I couldn't help but notice and reflect on the past two decades of doing NOTHING but giving.

NO MORE. FEW people are worthy of my wonderful casseroles or great taste in gifts and I am MUCH more selective in who I help anymore. FUCK these selfish and hypocritical church people.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Another cf christian. I believe in a higher entity than myself..

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lab mom

kidlesskim, that's absolutely terrible! I don't blame you for being furious! And yeah, screw those people!

I really don't blame any spiritual person who opts out of church attendance. Seriously. Things like what you went through, Shiny and Kim, would have me gone before the doors knew there was an ass to hit on my way out.

I've discarded churches after visiting for a number of reasons, including leaving two I was really involved with. I bailed on my local fellowship of the most liberal church out there because as a poor volunteer years ago, I had opted out of yearly tithes/donations. Despite me volunteering in their office 2-3 days a week doing manual crap, I (and a number of students and other po' folks) received harassing, aggressive letters with guilt-trips and lectures on why we needed to change our minds and give yearly.

It doesn't have to be conservative to be lame.

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"They will say that you are on the wrong road, if it is your own." ~Antonio Porchia

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nullipar-tay
kidlesskim, that's absolutely terrible! I don't blame you for being furious! And yeah, screw those people!

I really don't blame any spiritual person who opts out of church attendance. Seriously. Things like what you went through, Shiny and Kim, would have me gone before the doors knew there was an ass to hit on my way out.

I've discarded churches after visiting for a number of reasons, including leaving two I was really involved with. I bailed on my local fellowship of the most liberal church out there because as a poor volunteer years ago, I had opted out of yearly tithes/donations. Despite me volunteering in their office 2-3 days a week doing manual crap, I (and a number of students and other po' folks) received harassing, aggressive letters with guilt-trips and lectures on why we needed to change our minds and give yearly.

It doesn't have to be conservative to be lame.

I thought I was "over" all of that because it happened 7 years ago, but I suppose I am NOT. I don't dwell on it, but whenever I have cause to think about it I get pissed off all over again! I am quite certain they would tell me how anger only hurts me and that prayer would solve my problems too. My GOD these people are such little parrots and most of the time they don't even think through what they are saying to someone.

As for the demands to donate and the guilt trips if you don't, I too remember all of the "stewardship" sermons which were basically campaigns to guilt members into giving and making "pledges". I noticed a difference in the way the members were treated too depending on their level of giving. Supposedly, no one but the church committee, or vestry in the Episcopal church, know who gives what, but believe me when I say that word gets out! Like in the secular world, kids of parents who give the most magically end up being selected for touring musical ensembles, officers on the youth council, and other fun stuff that allegedly they are chosen based on merit and talent.

As a teen I was one of the "chosen", but I can't be sure if it was due to my mother's donations, her being the church organist, or on my own merit. This type of thing is especially rampant in the larger churches that take up two city blocks and have "high society" as members. Spirituality and or being a believer in any religion is a personal experience, IMO, and I see no reason someone has to attend an organized church to be a Christian, Muslim, or whatever. NO WHERE in the bible does it say anything like that either. It only says that where two or more have gathered in my name I will be there, or something like that. Then in other places in the bible it says people can have an individual relationship with God, so I don't really know the "rule" on that.

I think that most modern day churches are established for political and financial reasons. In my area we have ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY SIX places of worship, with one being a Mosque, one Cathedral, two Methodist, NO synagogues, a handful of others like a Jehovah's Witness and a 7th Day Adventist, I think, and all the rest are Baptist. WHY does a small town need 120 PLUS churches of the same denomination? It's just fucking ridiculous. They can't get along with or among themselves and there's no rhyme or reason to their brand of "worship".

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

I refuse to volunteer my time unless it's a no kill animal shelter. I refuse to be taken vantage of, for that very reason, alone.

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lab mom

Childfree Christian here. Finding a mate has been very depressing sometimes. If my personal life is gonna be as lonely as I think it will be, then it's probably not such a bad thing for WWIII to be as close as I believe it to be.

Well, I grew up in Italy, so obviously I am Catholic, thought a pretty lukewarm one

Think it is years since I had been at mass. But I am in church quite often, to pray

Honestly, I believe it is a personal choice, faith. There are people of all shades pretty much everywhere. And CF pretty much everywhere, too (save in place full of people gone down the mind chute like the Quiverfull insanity)

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“I was talking about children that have not been properly house-trained. Left to their own impulses and indulged by doting or careless parents almost all children are yahoos. Loud, selfish, cruel, unaffectionate, jealous, perpetually striving for attention, empty-headed, for ever prating or if words fail them simply bawling, their voices grown huge from daily practice: the very worst company in the world. But what I dislike even more than the natural child is the affected child, the hulking oaf of seven or eight that skips heavily about with her hands dangling in front of her -- a little squirrel or bunny-rabbit -- and prattling away in a baby's voice.”


― Patrick O'Brian, The Truelove


lib'-er-ty: the freedom given to you to make the wrong decision, based on the reasoned belief that you will normally make the right one.

I used to be really religious, now i just dropped all the extra rules and stuck with the philosophy.

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kidlesskim

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fade_to_pale
That is terrible. I hope those people feel like utter shit.


That is exactly why I don't even bother with friends, anymore. Or, even some family members. It all ends up being a fucking one-way street, and you realize just how unimportant you really are to someone when you actually might need some help, for a change.

No, they do NOT. Their general attitude is that something is "wrong" with us! Oh, they'll "pray" for us, but then that absolves them from having to do anything.

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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

I'm an atheist so I didn't post this article among the summary of Jandi's writings, but it may be of interest to those of you who are religious: Spirituality: The Crisis with the Childfree Community.

I was raised in a Roman Catholic famblee, but now I am more spiritual than religious. My famblee are all a bunch of crazed loons, who think that because they go to church, they can act like jerks from Monday through Saturday.

I tried going back to the church later in life, but I hated the hypocracy, the control, the guilt and the fact that my personal beliefs and lifestyle didn't fall in line with their preaching.

I also had trouble with the collection plate being passed around four times during a 45 minute mass. Sometimes I had no money and pretended to put money into the plate. Other times, I only had a few coins to throw in there. It was embarrassing. I also didn't care for the "Peace be with You" thing where we had to shake hands with everyone around us. I hate touching people, especially strangers and their kyds. I finally decided that church wasn't for me, and dropped out of it.

I also hate it when people say they will pray for me, as if I'm some poor wretch, whose soul needs to be saved. I'm doing fine, and my life is on track. I enjoy my work, I've recently published a book, and the possibility of my business getting off the ground (finally) is in the near future. We may have a major contract coming our way - if we play our cards right.

I still hold onto my basic Christian beliefs, that there is something out there far greater than we are.

However, when the trolls come to this board, the halo is replaced with horns and it's time to open a can o' Whoop-Ass mumofsixbirds style.

I used to go to church and now, not at all. I'm becoming much more spiritual now and feeling more connected, and closer, to my God. Still a Christian, tho. Also, I was also under the impression that some of the very best Christians don't attend church. That is definitely some food for thought.

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lab mom

lol, love that fake prayer pic. "I'll pray for you". Damn. Just say Lord help you and be done with it. Sheesh.

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lab mom

Childfree Christian was the first childfree forum I joined. Kinda slow over there.

I reckon I'm still one. Not sure. I still love Christ and try to live the Sermon on the Mount, but the organized church triggers PTSD.

I was a Southern Baptist until age 12. My parents switched to the Assembly of God then, and remained there until I was 19. Then, we all went Word of Faith. DW and I were licensed ministers through that denomination from 2004 through 2007. The spiritual abuse we experienced during those years would fill a book. They essentially betrayed us and kicked us out.

Now, DW is a Wiccan. I have one foot in the Anglican church and the other in the Pagan camp.

The worst bingoes we ever heard were from the Word of Faith. Bunch of breederific extremists, almost Quiverful, and they hate sex.