Brighten Up the Corner (or Sappy Things Kids Say)

My local paper recently brought back a feature they used to have where people send in the funny things they've heard. Of course, with something like this, a lot of parents and grandparents send in things the kids in their lives have said to them. Some of them are just too diabetic-inducing, like this one I saw in today's paper:

Quote

My daughter asked my grandson Danny if he wanted Doritos or Cheez-its in his school lunch. He got excited and screamed several times he wanted Cheez-its.

"Why?" she asked.

"Cause Cheez-its loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so."

Isn't that just so precious??

Sometimes things kids say are funny simply because of the innocence of the remark, question, or comment. Art Linkletter's, "Kids Say the Darndest Things!" was a pretty funny collection for it's time. I recall when my cousin, who at the age of about 6, told our grandmother she didn't make toast 'right" one morning at breakfast.. My grandmother asked her what was the "right" way to make it and she said, "Well, first you are supposed to take it out of the oven and then scrape off the black part into the trash can with a knife and THEN you put the butter on it. That's what my mom does". Her mother was known to be a HORRIBLE cook, so obviously she couldn't even cook toast either without burning it. However, the Cheesits comment really wasn't that funny.

I have always found if you want the truth, you will likely get it if you ask a 5 or 6 year old. This is ESPECIALLY true if you are looking to rent or buy a house. If a resident kid is there while you are looking the place over, the best question is, "So, WHY does your mom/dad want to move?" You'd be surprised at all the honest answers you'll get! I recall some of the following kid answers to that question whenever I have house hunted:

1)Oh, mom is sick and tired of those kids next door with that band in their basement! They bang on drums ALL night and nobody can get any sleep and it makes mom late for work and the police won't do anything

2)Mom hates it cuz you can't cook in the microwave and open a can at the same time or anything. If you try, then the wall smokes.

3)Mom wants to live some place where you can take a shower without having to mop after and put a bunch of towels down cuz it leaks so bad

4)There's so many mouses in here our cat can't keep up. Mom is tired of having to toss mouses outside at night after their necks get broke in the traps

5)Daddy hate it here cuz the power bill costs more than the rent cuz the place ain't got no "sulation" and it stays cold all the time in the winter.

among others..................

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!