So Much For Him Being One of Us: Simon Cowell Expecting His First Child

Despite saying in an interview in 2009 that he never wanted to have kids (quote below), he ended up knocking up his friend's wife and she's now 10 weeks along.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2013/07/31/simon-cowells-going-to-be-a-father/2603857/

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It looks like Simon Cowell might soon be doing diaper duty.

The music mogul and snarky British judge, 53, is expecting a baby with New York socialite Lauren Silverman, according to Us Weekly and numerous other reports, all citing unnamed sources.

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Cowell's been unable to commit to anyone. And in 2009, he said he wasn't dad material, "God, no. I couldn't have children. If I had them here drawing on the walls I'd go nuts."

But last year, he seemed to soften, telling an AOL interviewer, "I do really, really like kids, because I can talk to them and listen to them. The problem has always been how much time you need to devote to bringing up kids. I've always dedicated all my life to work, and at 52, I've probably missed the opportunity."

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Just another MyDickWerks geezerbreeder.

He could have been "oopsed" or was simply careless. I read some of the tabloid coverage and it seemed like the socialite bint Lauren was obsessed with him, telling the other girls in Simon's "harem" that she was going to have his baby for like months before it happened.... No snip, no security!

And the rest of Cowell's harem of close female friends, including former flames Mezhgan Hussainy, Terri Seymour and Jackie St Clair, seem equally unimpressed, according to reports.

A friend close to Cowell told the Mail: ‘Simon is in no doubt the child is his. The other girls can’t believe that she is the one who has [got his baby]. They’ve all met her, they know who she is and they have been reduced to tears by this.

‘She has apparently been going around telling people for the last three to six months that she is going to have his baby. Simon has been very stressed in the last few months with his various shows and juggling everything that he has in his life.

‘In the harem hierarchy, Lauren is regarded as the fun, party girl. Simon is [said to be] freaked out by this but there is no question that he will not support the child.’

She cheated on her rich husband with one of his best friends (Simon). They've been friends for years. I think her marriage has going bad and she wanted a new wallet. Now with the kid, Cowell will be supporting her for 18 years at least, in one form or another.

Whatever. Simon's got millions and millions and so does the socialite bint Lauren that he knocked up. It's not like he'll be doing diaper duty!

That kid will have nannies, tutors and drivers, plus private boarding schools and exclusive summer camps to be shuttled off to for most of the time. Lauren already left her young son alone for a month to vacation with Cowell.

Having a kid won't impact his lifestyle at all, and I predict he'll be cheating on her within a few years.

His harem? Sounds like his group of fuck buddies that he didn't protect himself from and he was just playing russian roulette among them. He is a geezer breeder, guys in their fifties can get real flakey about losing their mojo. I'll bet he'll be bragging about dikwerks spawn.

Oh Simon... Why? Damn... I liked his style.
He should've gotten the snip.

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"Don't you know how to deal with children?!"
"I don't like animals who act on instinct."
I think you're on to something Akihiko.

He "assumed" she used birth control!

Simon Cowell is going to be a daddy and reportedly he's not too thrilled about it. Cowell has just been named as a "co-adulterer" in his baby mama Lauren Silverman's husband's divorce petition. Cowell had been pals with real estate honcho Andrew Silverman and his wife, Lauren, for years, and Silverman and his family are shocked by Simon's "betrayal." But Cowell also seems like he might feel betrayed -- by Lauren. A source told the New York Daily News:

The pregnancy has taken him by surprise. He assumed she was using birth control. Simon thought this was a casual relationship — friends with benefits. The pregnancy was not planned. He is feeling tricked.

What an idiot! He's worth over 200 million and he didn't consider that someone might "trick" him!

I heard about Simon becoming the Duh this morning and I immediately thought to myself: another 180 degree flip. I am glad I came across this thread because I now see what an oopsie this was. This is almost scandalous. Dude is messing around with someone else's wife and he gets an oops! Whoa! This is the crap of a crappy situation.

"He assumed she was on birth control". What? Dude has the money that he does and he "assumes" stuff? Seriously? He is not the only one though. Back in 2003, I went to see Joe Rogan, he was at a local Improv theater. He swore up and down the world had enough kids and that he was not having any of his own. Well, it may have been a year or so after that, but he did knock someone up. I bet she too was on "birth control".

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Ineptocracy (in-ep-toc'-ra-cy) - A system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.

"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety,
deserve neither liberty nor safety" ..... Ben Franklin

"Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom.
It is the argument of tyrants, it is the creed of slaves” ..... Paul Revere

“Sometimes the greatest evils are committed by the silence of good people” ..... Edmund Burke

So, if guns kill people, I suppose pencils misspell words, cars drive drunk, and spoons make people fat.

What a moron.

I never cared about him because I'm probably the only person in America who has never watched the Voice or American Idol or whatever show he's on.

Nevertheless, the world doesn't need what Simon will undoubtedly become in 10 months: another bleating Geezer Breeder who blubbers on about how childruuun are our future when he won't be lifting a finger to care for it and his life won't change. (Other than a wallet raping.)

If Alan Rickman ever pulls a stunt like this, however, I will be understandably and justifiably crushed.

Kiss your $$$ goodbye! What a stupid ass! :bedmadelie

I have never watched any of these 'talent' shows, but I have a vague idea of who this guy is from reading various things - and he always struck me as an incredibly egotistic asshole.

And he ain't all that, either. Just because you have money? Money comes and money goes. Jackass ain't half of what he thinks he is.

What a tool.

I detest mean arrogant people. He ain't no prize to look at, neither.

Serves him right, I say.

And screwing a friend's wife? That's just low, and so is she. This guy is an arrogant, mean spirited asshole and it serves him right.

Some celebs do have integrity - I read a story the other day that one of The Simpsons creators, who is sick and might pass soon - plans to donate his entire fortune to charities, including many to help animals. THIS is a person who has some integrity!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/26/sam-simon-donate-fortune_n_3659809.html

To hell with Simon Cowell! What a gigantic egomaniacal TOOL! Always detested the guy, I hope this cripples him and he goes AWAY!
Watch him turn it into some kind of publicity for himself though - as fake Narcissists always do.

Doesn't always work though, the Dad Version of themselves, and they peter out and fade away. Let's HOPE!

Blow your load over 50, watch yourself go down the drain.

I SO HOPE! this happens with Arsehole Cowell! What a fucking DICK!

Couldn't have happened to a more deserving person!

What a JERK!

Man, what a great night for schadenfreude

That smug look will now be wiped off his face, at least for a little while as the little squeeze-du-jour is inpig.

Maybe he will reconsider those muscle shirts that accentuate his manboobs and old dude torso. Oh, and the jacked-up-to-the-ribs pants too.

His music is shit and he's a cunt. Fuck him.

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I had to leave. They were having fun wrong.

Man, I wish we had some laws in this country making it illegal for men to father kyds after 45.

It is a crapshoot and a lot of kids born to older dudes tend to have problems (i.e born with birth defects)

But all these dudes, when they get rich and prestigious, soon as some 20 y.o bimbo comes along and they think they have to prove their virility or something like their genes are so wonderful or something :bedmadelie

Just because a older dude can make kids, doesn't mean he should!

There's nobody in this story who comes out sounding good. This guy was an idiot who didn't get snipped when he didn't want kids, and an asshole who was having sex with a friend's wife. She was an asshole who was having an affair, and a bragging oopsier. The other women didn't warn him that she was after his sperm, because they didn't care about his stated lack of desire for kids either, they just wanted to be the one to bag him.

No fucks to be given for any of that sorry lot.

So now he'll have to do the whole song and dance or risk being reviled and having his contracts not renewed. He'll go through the motions of changing his mind and loving it when it gets here: the people expect nothing less. Reality, of course, will be shoving money at it and ignoring it. Meanwhile, the masses are fed what they want, the man who was changed by a baybee, and a few more women are inspired to oopsie based on the narrative of redemption.

This is gonna get good.

She cheats on her rich husband and gets inpig with rich and famous. What happens when his 15 minutes finally runs out? Do you still get to call yourself a socialite when it is not your money to begin with, and you cheated with the monied one's bestie?

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

I'm pretty sure adultery negates any prenuptial agreement or right to alimony, so she can say goodbye to rich husband's money in the divorce.

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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

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paragon schnitzophonic
I'm pretty sure adultery negates any prenuptial agreement or right to alimony, so she can say goodbye to rich husband's money in the divorce.

In NY it can. Hope Simon hangs onto his gig, because this bimbo will be a succubus draining his wallet.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

I doubt he was trying to impregnate the bitch and of course it was intentional on her part. Guys like Cowell, wealthy player types have been having consequence free sex for years with women. They pick women who are up for casual encounters, often whenever the guy wants and the guy spends money on them, etc.

These guys think the women are free wheeling party girls who simply love having a great time, no strings, just like them. And they must think the women are lucky the stud boy chose them to fuck. They don't THINK of how a woman even if she seems like a cool, fun chick to them, might not really BE that. These guys are so egotistical, they think they know the thoughts and intentions of every woman they fuck. And they don't care to know. Even if they are right 99.9% of the time, all it takes is once, doh.

The difference between someone like Cowell and a normal guy is that Cowell thinks he had a harem under control and he probably has had it that way for years. So this is- what? She doesn't want to just keep cheating with me on the yacht? What? She wants to ruin all the fun with a baybee? What, why? Because even fun loving, "bad" girls can be wannamoos. This one didn't need the money, she just wanted Blockhead's geezer-bred tard baby. If the kid comes out with its duh's noggin this woman's cooter is going to be decimated.

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blondie
I doubt he was trying to impregnate the bitch and of course it was intentional on her part.

What also bugs me is that his mother and a few other people are 'delighted' for him (in one of the latest articles, a day old article on the impending divorce), in that he's going to be a father. And I thought, 'Delighted? Why? He pretty much commited adultery with a married woman, the loaf's life is going to be hell knowing that it was nothing more then a gold digger/adultery baby, and that his/her half brother's father is going to resent it big time.'

And half brother gets to learn his mom is a gold digging adultress.

So moo ruined several people's lives in one fell swoop. Stay classy moo, you gold digging turd.

Edit: There is a bright side. His x-friend is dead set on making sure Simon doesn't get away with this.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2013/08/01/simongoogle.ie-cowell-latest-divorce-electra-mom-julie-adultery/2607717/

"The New York Post reports Andrew doesn't plan to let this all go away quietly. He is out to publicly embarrass Cowell by naming him as a co-respondent in divorce papers, which were filed — citing adultery — in Manhattan Supreme Court two weeks ago.

The Post says the filing also means that Cowell, 53, risks being asked to testify and could have to reveal his finances — he is said to be worth about $350 million — as well as the details of his affair with Silverman. (A settlement is more likely.)"

I've thought a little more about this and it baffles me that a man who's been sexually active for more than 35 years and was a wealthy playboy for more than half of that got oopsed at 53! I think that he wanted to sprog. Some kind of middle-aged, afraid-of-seeming-old kinda crisis that only breeding can lift for a bit. Steve Martin did it in his mid 60s.

I just don't believe that he managed to avoid impregnating a woman in his fame and fortune prime in his 30s and 40s and got oopsed now. It doesn't add up.

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CFinPenthouse
Steve Martin did it in his mid 60s.

I hate it when these old fuckers do this, and discredit their 20+ years or whatever of staunch childfreedom. They make every single one of us look bad, and open the door for ceaseless "you'll change your miiiiind!" bingoes. Since these are people featured prominently in media, it only makes the turnabout look worse. I hope that every asshole who does a turn-around like this has their urethra infected with fucking fire ants.

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"Yes, fellow readers, nothing says 'devoted father of a special needs kid' quite like drinking, snorting cocaine, and then taking the boat out for a spin."
- Tiquer

Power and prestige definetely corrupts men in this country.

Tard kids created by old farts often have lots of problems like birth defects, down syndrome, etc.. I don't see what's so "virile" or "manly" about making kids at 60 with young slutty bimbos.

This has all kinds of fail in it including most of what has already been mentioned. That, and I have never heard of this guy OR this rich socialite, which I am certain will change once they start splashing belly rubbing shots of the adulterous cunt. Odds are their love child will be a tard and then we can all see how this horror story will play out. The burning desires of wanting a love child tend to extinguish rather quickly when a tard is the result of their luv.:emoheart:drool

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Kim, You NEVER heard of the GREAT Simon Cowell!?

You're one of the few very lucky people who've never heard of (or at least dosen't watch) "American Idol" then.

jbs