Duhddy Files: But, but...my Duhddy time off IS essential! :wtf

I don't think anyone's poked at dear Dickless Wonder in a while...so I will!

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Whine with your cheese
“So, how was your vacation?”

I can’t tell you how many people have asked me that recently. I know they probably don’t mean anything by it and I’m certain they gave very little thought to their words, but it still irks me something fierce. Because if you’ve ever done it, you’d know that paternity leave is most assuredly NOT a vacation.

Awww....cry me fucking river, you sad sack of maggot shit. :Violin :bawl If it's paid time off, and it's more than a few days, it's vacation! I'd like to take some 'cat leave', but I don't think too many employers would allow that. Your entitlement and your attitude irk ME something fierce.

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Let's hear it for Duhddy!
Newborns eat, shit, and cry. A lot. Very few of them start out with any kind of discernible schedule — especially when it comes to the sleeping. But spending a couple of weeks with them is the absolute best way to really start figuring things out, and to get a handle on their personality. And that’s exactly what I did for two weeks.

Newborns eat, shit and cry? Really? I was not aware of any of that! Wow..you took two weeks out of your life to spend with your freshly hatched twat larva...I'm sorry, did you want a medal or a cookie for that?

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I just love him to death...
I soaked Sam in, totally and completely. Even though he cried like a maniac just about every time I held him because all he wants to do is eat and I’m not equipped for that, it didn’t matter. I held him, rocked him, relaxed with him, took naps with him, talked to him, studied his facial expressions, and enjoyed (almost) every second with him. To my amazement, I didn’t even so much as check my work email that entire time — something that comes as a shock to those who know me well. And all of those experiences just wouldn’t have happened without paternity leave. There’s just no way.

Wait...you didn't do any of this with Will, or did you catch MJ's placenta brain and wiped it all out? Nothing to brag about, really. Sam's so damned fugly, he could break fun house mirrors.

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Call 1-800-WAAA
a shame most companies don’t offer it to male employees (it’s a shame about the lack of maternity leave too, but I’m focusing on paternity for this article). But what’s an even bigger shame is many studies show even the men who are offered paternity leave sometimes decline it in part or in whole. Why is that? A few reasons.

I don't see why either parent should get special leave just because they fucking sprogged.

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Og gripe more
But — and listen closely here — I want to reiterate to people that being on paternity leave is NOT a vacation. Not if you’re doing it right anyway. It’s a helluva lot of work and you basically turn into a sleep-deprived zombie. I know that doesn’t sound appealing, but trust me it is. It was so worth it to me to have that initial time to get to know my son. It’s the foundation of a solid father-son relationship and I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like to try to fit that all in while I’m gone for work 12 hours a day.

Solid father-son relationship...oh, like your YouTube video of you pummeling your goldenpenis with snowballs, and laughing at his tears? Yep, sounds wonderful. Will you being doing the same thing to Sam the Spud in a few years?

I didn't mock all of it, but enough to get the point across.

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Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

(Shameless blog promotion: http://popcornculturejunkie.wordpress.com/)

(Cornucopia of visual rantage: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD78oSD27mzAlVzsB0q2ibA)

Oh yeah...here's the linky: http://www.daddyfiles.com/paternity-leave-is-essential-and-its-not-a-vacation/

_________________________________________________________

Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

(Shameless blog promotion: http://popcornculturejunkie.wordpress.com/)

(Cornucopia of visual rantage: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD78oSD27mzAlVzsB0q2ibA)

I do agree with him on the one point that if there's going to be any type of leave offered for that, it HAS to be just as equally provided for paternity leave as it is for maternity leave. Recognizing baybeee leave for the woman but not the man is shitty, because it just re-enforces the archaic "all the cunt work should fall on the woman" bullshit.

Even though it's annoying seeing people get special perks just for sprogging, I do have to agree with putting more emphasis on men doing stuff like newborn care. I say this because, the more of a social norm it becomes for men to do this shit, the more things will become more egalitarian.

Sure, it's annoying if someone is treated preferential because of their life choices, and I totally get that POV, but I also want to see blind conformity to gender roles go away.

Just a short time before the Family and Medical Leave Act passed, the company for which I then worked, which allowed women who had given birth months of time off to deal with newborns, told a new father he had to take vacation time if he wanted to have time with his newborn. Of course, he had only a couple of weeks per year of vacation, as was the norm. I thought this was a bum deal.

No, I don't like the idea of people receiving big chunks of time off for newly sprogging, but if we must do it, let it apply equally to both genders.

How can you try to get to know a freshly baked loaf? The thing hasn't even developed a personality yet.

Probably of the unpopular opinion but I agree with maternity and paternity leave for recovering from labour and bonding with the crotch dropping so it doesn't get messed up from lack of love. I think it's only fair men and women get the same amount of time off as to not instill damaging gender roles.

However, if all newborns do is eat, shit and cry then why does he complain about it being hard? There's plenty of time to sleep and not become a sleep deprived zombie when the baby is also sleeping. Also, has he ever heard of a routine? Any parent that's worth their weight in salt will slap a newborn into a routine immediately. Also if they didn't do teh almighty beefing I'm sure it would be easier on the both of them with labour division. Woe is duddy when he doesn't even have to feed the little shit stain. From what I've heard breastfeeding a newborn isn't a fucking walk in the park.

I think that every few years everyone should be given a few paid months off do do with it as they please. If loaf dropping happens before a person is due for this paid leave then they should only receive the minimum amount of time needed to physically recover and any extra time off should be unpaid without the guarantee of having a job when they get back. Physically disability that is out of the worker's control (car accident, cancer, etc) should be protected and given freely.

If I choose to use my few months to go to Italy to learn how to blow glass it should be respected equally as a couple who use that time to sprog.

Is there one single Bratfree poster who doesn't think MJ is doing at least 90% of the child care work? IIRC She also has a job. Can't help but wonder what happens when she goes back to work.

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cfinboston
Is there one single Bratfree poster who doesn't think MJ is doing at least 90% of the child care work? IIRC She also has a job. Can't help but wonder what happens when she goes back to work.

You have a very good point. That makes Dickless Wonder's whining even worse. If MJ leaves him or kills him I'll help her in any way I can.