Holiday cards, entry 656

FUCKIN' A!

To all my former friends who send me those Barfilicious Christmas cards with pictures of their loaf(ves):

It's not "keeping in touch" when you send me a picture of your crotch muffin once a year. I want to know how YOU are doing. I understand that you have a kid, but my relationship is not with your kid.

Now, I do have some military friends. They are classy PNB types. Their holiday tradition is this: every Thanksgiving, they eat at the O club wherever they are living. Then, they get their picture taken AS A FAMILY: mom + dad + kids. That is their holiday card with a short message.

I want to see a picture of the whole family, not just your kid. And if you don't feel comfortable having your picture taken, it's probably because you are neglecting yourself in favor of the Holy Goldensprog. There is a message there, KWIM? Get a haircut, get some decent clothes. Don't listen to all those harpies who say you are a Bad Mommy(TM) because your every minute doesn't revolve around your sprog.

Every year I get these pictures of people's kids as their holiday cards. They usually end up in the trash. I decided that this year I would make everyone look at pictures of my "kids". Therefore, after much chasing around the house I managed to get decent pictures of my cats in Santa Hats and reindeer antlers. I attached them inside my cards and mailed to everyone I know. I am sure they will all think I am weird. Whatever.....

I like it when folks dress up their animals, take pictures of them and send them to me. My grandma does it with her dog, and I get to have a gut busting laugh every year, because animals dressed as humans are HILARIOUS!

Sorry about the double post, but I just thought I'd add that babies dressed as animals/flowers/insects and whatnot are just plain creepy. Anne Geddes is the devil and should be exiled to a small island where the freaks who think what she does is "art" can go and stay with her.
http://www.annegeddes.com/
Visit...but only if you have a pail to hurl into.

Anne Geddes is scary. I know this moo who loves her stuff. She has calenders, mugs, etc. I told her once that whenever I see those pics, I think about babies potted, watered, and pruned. She thought it was funny, but I wasn't joking...

Anne Geddes is just plain fucked-up and the babies she uses in her "art" are the ugliest things I've ever laid eyes on. My dog's asshole would make a more adorable flower center than the pudgy face of one of those flesh loaves.