Adult kids cost parents ANOTHER quarter of a mil

Just in time for their retirement to kick in too. I would love to send this to a couple of my friends and co-workers. But it will make them too mad at me for my carefully thought out life choices.

Mom and dad shell out six figures for basic living costs for offspring over 18

https://t.co/JMqqw0w9q4


If the economy is really causing this, I feel for them a bit. But I'm my personal opinion, I don't believe the whole thing. The adult kids I see don't seem to care about moving out, and don't even get like retail job in the meantime to have their own pocket money like a real adult. The postponement of adulthood seems to suit them well because this generation of parents doesnt want to be the bad guy, so they let the kids float around, and enjoy the pleasures of adulthood w/o any of the responsibilities. It is just an extension of the hover aspect of parenting and the kids are very comfortable with it My friends kids sit in their basement on the internet all day and night and don't even go out and socialize, contemplating taking a semester off AGAIN, so they can be on the 15 yr college program. Some of these adult kids literally don't seem to have even one friend other than virtual ones they meet online. All the while judging their parents on their blogs, for not being ultra-liberal bullshit, while their parents think they are liberal, but they just don't don a pussy hat and don't protest stuff that doesn't need support. Very judgy but they don't want to be judged. They can have opinions, but face it, if you haven't launched in ANY way since high school and don't even hold down a Dunkin Donuts job, who are u to judge anybody? But the parents enabled this since the 90s in my opinion. I saw it coming then. So glad for my choices tho. Thank Dog.

I think it all depends. I know many people who are under 30 and have been holding up well for almost a decade. Then, of course, there are flunkies. Most people that I know have never gone back home since graduating from college. It may all be a luck of a draw, some people lose, others, not so much. I personally would not want to chance it because even if many adult kids end up doing OK, their personal lives are often far from perfect.

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cfuter

If the economy is really causing this, I feel for them a bit. But I'm my personal opinion, I don't believe the whole thing. The adult kids I see don't seem to care about moving out, and don't even get like retail job in the meantime to have their own pocket money like a real adult. The postponement of adulthood seems to suit them well because this generation of parents doesnt want to be the bad guy, so they let the kids float around, and enjoy the pleasures of adulthood w/o any of the responsibilities. It is just an extension of the hover aspect of parenting and the kids are very comfortable with it My friends kids sit in their basement on the internet all day and night and don't even go out and socialize, contemplating taking a semester off AGAIN, so they can be on the 15 yr college program. Some of these adult kids literally don't seem to have even one friend other than virtual ones they meet online. All the while judging their parents on their blogs, for not being ultra-liberal bullshit, while their parents think they are liberal, but they just don't don a pussy hat and don't protest stuff that doesn't need support. Very judgy but they don't want to be judged. They can have opinions, but face it, if you haven't launched in ANY way since high school and don't even hold down a Dunkin Donuts job, who are u to judge anybody? But the parents enabled this since the 90s in my opinion. I saw it coming then. So glad for my choices tho. Thank Dog.

You are correct that there is a lot of 'launch failure' in young adults today, although I do think that the economy is causing a great deal of trouble.

We are in a jobless recovery. We have all the high prices of boom times, yet we have fewer and fewer jobs at lower wages every day and that is for the young adults actually able to score that job. Youngsters are fighting their elders who should be retiring for those entry level jobs that are advertised. Even a good degree from a good school is no guarantee of getting a decent wage. Yet rent is skyrocketing in most areas.

The lack of jobs is being caused by two factors. Decent jobs are being sent overseas where the desperate will take pennies to work. The other and more pervasive job thief is automation. Algorithms are taking over white collar jobs now, such as telemarketing.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

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craftyzits

You are correct that there is a lot of 'launch failure' in young adults today, although I do think that the economy is causing a great deal of trouble.

We are in a jobless recovery. We have all the high prices of boom times, yet we have fewer and fewer jobs at lower wages every day and that is for the young adults actually able to score that job. Youngsters are fighting their elders who should be retiring for those entry level jobs that are advertised. Even a good degree from a good school is no guarantee of getting a decent wage. Yet rent is skyrocketing in most areas.

The lack of jobs is being caused by two factors. Decent jobs are being sent overseas where the desperate will take pennies to work. The other and more pervasive job thief is automation. Algorithms are taking over white collar jobs now, such as telemarketing.

I don't understand why they just sit in the basement tho and don't do anything. You can still work at the mall, local insurance office, or domino's pizza while you're still interviewing for your real job, and not suck every dime off the parents. I know there are plenty of those jobs as I literally see a help wanted sign everywhere I go on the street and they are on the same businesses for 6-12 months thus far. And the lack of socialization kills me. I knew a number of losers back in my day, they still went out and had friends and dates of some sort. They didn't lay around day and night in a basement reading magazines instead of reading the internet since it didn't exist. Sure they watched TV, but they got SICK of it and went OUT.

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cfuter

I don't understand why they just sit in the basement tho and don't do anything. You can still work at the mall, local insurance office, or domino's pizza while you're still interviewing for your real job, and not suck every dime off the parents. I know there are plenty of those jobs as I literally see a help wanted sign everywhere I go on the street and they are on the same businesses for 6-12 months thus far. And the lack of socialization kills me. I knew a number of losers back in my day, they still went out and had friends and dates of some sort. They didn't lay around day and night in a basement reading magazines instead of reading the internet since it didn't exist. Sure they watched TV, but they got SICK of it and went OUT.

Your area then must be unusual, as there are lines around the block in some areas for a solitiary simple McDonald's burger flipper job. Malls are dying like flies, half are expected to close. It's so bad that there's a subculture that tours and films 'dying malls'.

The Malls Are Dying

Malls R Dying

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

meanwhile they keep breeding more kiddies in the hopes that the shit they throw at the wall will stick.
when children and people become a scarce commodity, then things will change.
corn anyone?

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

I know grown kids who are TRYING, and working--some even two jobs. But (sometimes even with Associates or four year degree) minimum wage or slightly more does not cut it! It cost my college educated and experienced niece and her hubby well over $2,000 just to get into an apartment! They stayed at my sister's too- small-for-three -adults condo for several months before being able to leave.
Another mixed-up kid I knew had only a HS degree because of learning and psych difficulties. His parents were contentious and kept throwing him out even though he always held a job fairly well. One problem ,was at the low-wage jobs he got he met waaayy too many druggie and other disreputable types. Because of his being gay, not terribly savvy and emotionally needy, many of those people used him poorly. He eventually killed himself.

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craftyzits

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cfuter

I don't understand why they just sit in the basement tho and don't do anything. You can still work at the mall, local insurance office, or domino's pizza while you're still interviewing for your real job, and not suck every dime off the parents. I know there are plenty of those jobs as I literally see a help wanted sign everywhere I go on the street and they are on the same businesses for 6-12 months thus far. And the lack of socialization kills me. I knew a number of losers back in my day, they still went out and had friends and dates of some sort. They didn't lay around day and night in a basement reading magazines instead of reading the internet since it didn't exist. Sure they watched TV, but they got SICK of it and went OUT.

Your area then must be unusual, as there are lines around the block in some areas for a solitiary simple McDonald's burger flipper job. Malls are dying like flies, half are expected to close. It's so bad that there's a subculture that tours and films 'dying malls'.

The Malls Are Dying

Malls R Dying

I'm aware of the dire outlook for brick and mortar stores, but when I'm out and about, the ones that do exist currently have "We're Hiring" signs on them. Grocery stores, banks, pizza places, little offices, dunkin donuts, restaurants, I could go on and on, and my thing is....sure, maybe you cant afford a 2k dollar apt, but instead of mooching off your parents into oblivion, get a job at Kohl's and start saving now, or have some of your own money, or kick some to the parents. Just get off the couch and DO something in the meantime. I think it's terrible that these adults refuse to do what is needed. People who couldn't get the job they wanted would work as a waitress during the day and a bartender at night, until they got where they wanted or the job they truly wanted. That's all.

It depends where you live. Here jobs are advertised only through certain websites and unfortunately you cannot work in any field unless you have qualifications for it. Even waiting and cleaning require a degree from a professional school and certain certificates. I lost my job this autumn and besides my field, i applied for a grocery store chain and two bookstores. They had about 500-600 applications for one position. I didn't stand a chance.

I'm lucky though i can still work as a freelancer and i volunteer in two places in my field but i don't see a very bright future. I cannot even do physical work anymore after i got sick. Which sucks because one of the jobs i was aiming for was an exhibition technician. Most of the tasks are ok but sometimes you do have to lift heavy objects or artworks.

Right, but outta those 500 applications, SOMEONE got hired. I'm saying the signs remain up w/o any takers, while my friends' adult kids surf the net all day in the basement. They are NOT even applying, I even asked my friends, are they applying online, and they are not. They sit around all day, do no chores, watch Maury all day and play on social media not growing up. At least where I live, you dont need any degree or certificate to work on the Dunkin Donuts on the corner for a little bit of money while you live in mommie's basement.

An assessment of the reality of today's economy in most locations. The fast food jobs are full of breeders popping out kids just as fast as they can then whining they can't afford to feed the brats.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

trust me, my niece's apartment did not RENT for $2K. But you need first and last month's rent, security deposit, in their case, cat deposit, and possibly even utility deposits to get in. In my semi-rural area, just 15 years ago,you could get at least a 1 bedroom apt for under $500 a month,. But now there is nothing under 800-900. And yet fast food and desk clerk wages are still the same

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reeniebessagain
trust me, my niece's apartment did not RENT for $2K. But you need first and last month's rent, security deposit, in their case, cat deposit, and possibly even utility deposits to get in. In my semi-rural area, just 15 years ago,you could get at least a 1 bedroom apt for under $500 a month,. But now there is nothing under 800-900. And yet fast food and desk clerk wages are still the same

Right, I see how this isn't gonna cut it for your niece, but I'm talking about at least working at some type of job while they are still living with their parents too. Many are not.

I agree with with cfuter. There was a financial program on the local radio, and these breeders had their lazy adult son living in their basement, sucking their finances dry. He didn't even want to work, but there was nothing wrong with him. The duh wanted to toss the manboy out, but moo decided to let him stay. The financial planner had warned them that if sonny boy didn't get a job and move out, they would lose everything within six months. Their home, everything. Just as predicted, they didn't kick him out and they had to finally declare bankruptcy, losing everything.

I also don't understand people who are able bodied and do not want to work at all or not even helping around the house.

Unfortunately, there is also the rest of us who do try a lot but it's very difficult to find something when there are so much applicants. But my thought is if you apply at least you have a chance, if you don't then you have none.

This present situation stresses me a lot because as a woman who just hit 30 and lost her job, the society is expecting you to breed at least so you can make it up for "sitting around and doing nothing". Actually, this is the best time to crap out a kid. The worst part, this has been rubbed in my face by a friend which it's quite hard to get over because i thought i might have some support, not be judged. She is playing the tired line that i have all the time in the world and when i say that i actually have freelance projects and two volunteer programs i'm in, plus applying for jobs and attending unemployment's office courses which take lots of time, she's like: well, of course you can afford to do that because you don't have kids. *huge facepalm*

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cfuter

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reeniebessagain
trust me, my niece's apartment did not RENT for $2K. But you need first and last month's rent, security deposit, in their case, cat deposit, and possibly even utility deposits to get in. In my semi-rural area, just 15 years ago,you could get at least a 1 bedroom apt for under $500 a month,. But now there is nothing under 800-900. And yet fast food and desk clerk wages are still the same

Right, I see how this isn't gonna cut it for your niece, but I'm talking about at least working at some type of job while they are still living with their parents too. Many are not.

It is also true that many sprogs start out with crotch critters weighing them down as well as lacking any motivation.

Still, it is next to impossible for the motivated kids out there attempting any launch.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

I pretty much blame the breeders. One, half of them didn't teach their children to do anything for themselves. Two, all of them failed to consider what the future was going to be like, with 8 billion people and increasing automation.

The younger people I know, who are motivated and working or trying to find work, can't even afford rent, and on top of that they have their parents' generation telling them all the time that they are lazy and entitled. I can see why many don't bother, especially if their breeders taught them no life skills at all.

I do think a good many young people are absolutely worthless, but it's pretty easy to see where they got it from: their stupid asshole breeders. No sympathy whatsoever for those breeders who are stuck supporting their children forever.

There are kids who are really trying, and actually have left the nest even if they had to get massively creative about shelter. Several of them are turning vans into tiny homes with hot plates, fridges, toilets, and sinks. There are also bus tiny homes, mini-bus tiny homes, and stealth trailers. One kid actually hides a tiny home in a moving van he bought off Craigslist. The kids work whatever jobs they can find, and hide by swapping one parking lot for another all day.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

While so many of them are lazy as hell, the upcoming generation is pretty screwed financially. And that’s not their fault. When I was changing careers I had to drop back down towards the bottom of the ladder, and I found that many of the entry level-type jobs that I was applying for actually paid less than what my starting salary was 12 years ago. (And I was a teacher, so it’s not exactly like I was making bank.) The cost of rent certainly hasn’t gone down, at least not in this area. No wonder these kids can’t afford to move out.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

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yurble
I pretty much blame the breeders. One, half of them didn't teach their children to do anything for themselves. Two, all of them failed to consider what the future was going to be like, with 8 billion people and increasing automation.

The younger people I know, who are motivated and working or trying to find work, can't even afford rent, and on top of that they have their parents' generation telling them all the time that they are lazy and entitled. I can see why many don't bother, especially if their breeders taught them no life skills at all.

I do think a good many young people are absolutely worthless, but it's pretty easy to see where they got it from: their stupid asshole breeders. No sympathy whatsoever for those breeders who are stuck supporting their children forever.

Many good points. I also wanted to add that many baby boomer parents, they grew up and lived in a very different economy, the one that offered pensions and had promise of social security. Medical care was not as expensive either. Unfortunately, these baby boomer parents still teach their kids the old school standards that will not work in today's world.

For my generation, we are stuck fending off our parents' teachings while having to make it in the world that we have to learn a lot about and make mistakes in process...

Where i live (and i'm sure other countries) happens that lots of jobs are already arranged which means that the opening is announced on different employment sites but they already have a person to fill in the job. The whole recruiting process is just a formality.

I attended a job interview on Friday 340 km (about 211 miles) from where i live. There were 30 applicants and i was among the 6 selected for the interview. The person who got the job was a local who worked there on different projects earlier. This is one example, and this is a very normal thing in my field. DH was telling me that where FIL was working they employed only relatives or their kids, no outsiders. When i was studying, i applied 4 summers in a row for a job at the local food factory and i never got any. A neighbor told me: "My dear, if you don't have any parents or other relatives there, you don't stand any chance".

That brings up another thing I do not understand in our world: Nepotism. Why would I want to work with my family? But maybe that's because I can't stand my family.

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mr. neptune
That brings up another thing I do not understand in our world: Nepotism. Why would I want to work with my family? But maybe that's because I can't stand my family.

I totally agree. My (major) company was full of nepotism. I purposely didnt go to corporate becuz of this. My dept was a 'young' dept so it didn't hit there till recently, now I've was there over 25 yrs, well, everyone's kids started working there. The big shots' kids, so now anytime a mandate comes down the pike, you can't complain becuz the adult brats are in all the meetings. It totally changed the atmosphere, and we all had to become "yes" men. You also can't complain or give them a proper review if they suck.

Plus, my manager has a buncha kids that are dipshits, he had his son working in the mail room even tho he went to the best colleges etc. I know in my 20s, I wouldn't want to work w/ my fuckin' parents. I don't know how they do it. And things did happen after xmas parties and stuff w/them, so I dont know how the parents deal w/ it either. I'd be walking on eggshells all the time if I was the boss' kid.

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blackpearl
Where i live (and i'm sure other countries) happens that lots of jobs are already arranged which means that the opening is announced on different employment sites but they already have a person to fill in the job. The whole recruiting process is just a formality.

I attended a job interview on Friday 340 km (about 211 miles) from where i live. There were 30 applicants and i was among the 6 selected for the interview. The person who got the job was a local who worked there on different projects earlier. This is one example, and this is a very normal thing in my field. DH was telling me that where FIL was working they employed only relatives or their kids, no outsiders. When i was studying, i applied 4 summers in a row for a job at the local food factory and i never got any. A neighbor told me: "My dear, if you don't have any parents or other relatives there, you don't stand any chance".

It sounds like a situation here in USA in some small town, with very few jobs to go around. Another possibility is a position like a CEO, where the money is really good and only few well known folks would be considered. Such situation is not as common in big cities, where most employers are actually not able to fill all the positions. Even management spots are not always easy to fill either.

BlackPearl, do you think that there is a possibility that locals are creating artificial jobs shortage and are slowing down and harming the economy as a result? To me, it seems like it.

Techie, do you feel the same way about nepotism I do? Because I can't stand my family, can you?