"You need to grow up!"

Ok, I'm pissed. For background, I'm 28, male, and living with family due to bad choices. They're pretty reasonable people for the most part, but do have a bad homophobic- christian purity-"real man/woman" streak. My mother was suggesting a present for my birthday(Valentine's Day), since I usually don't have anything in mind till the last minute. At one she was thinking about a slot car track. Unfortunately, the best rated set still had some serious problems, so she suggested "Maybe you would like something for your room-after all, you are 28..." My mental response: fuck yourself with a cactus. My verbal response: Oh that would be nice. She was considering a nautical theme, and there were things I liked about it-ships, shells, fishing nets, old green glass bottles, etc.
Today, she asked me again, and suggested "a big boy bed". I tried to gently tell her I liked my twin bed. What I really wanted to say was: I don't want or need a new fucking bed, my room is perfectly clean and neat, mind your own goddamn business! Her response: "Well, you want to invite someone to bed with you eventually, right? It's time to grow up."
I'm considering getting the bed since (1)she's paying for it, and (2)I'm feeling incredibly spiteful right now. However, there's no way she'd let me have sex under her roof, so why buy a new bed now? It'll be a few years before I'm through school, so why bother?
So, what the hell should I do? These "grow up" obsession sessions seem to come every few months, and every time it's something else. " Too many books, too many cars, you need a man's bed, nag, nag, bitch, bitch, I can't come up with anything better to do with myself than obsess over a room I barely set foot in." I'm trying to be respectful, even though I see no reason to respect her when she calls me a little boy because I'm not interested in "manly" things like sports and martial arts.

It can be fun to take someone's literal statement rather than figurative meaning. In this case, when offered a mattress, you can say thank you, and when told that it's because you are growing up, mention the back problems and how important a good quality mattress is for sleep as you get older. If you hear it is time for a change, agree that it is generally recommended that mattresses ought to be replaced every 10 years. If she mentions inviting someone into bed with you, ask for her schedule so that you can find an appropriate time to have someone over without it being awkward. And so on.

But in the end I think you have to suck it up, as long as you're living there.

You don't need to enjoy sports or martial arts to be a man. You should, however, focus on getting your life in order, get a plan to acquire some skills/training that will help you produce the goods and services that people want and need, and start earning your own living so you don't have to listen to your mommy.

Look everyone, we have an adult brat on Bratfree!

Adult brat, lol???? At least I hope that's a joke. But seriously though, I work at least 40 hours a week, and I'm going to technical school in the fall to get my auto mechanics certificate. Nine times out of ten, she's reasonable, but sometimes she gets- bored, I guess? Trust me, I'm no basement-dweller, and I'm budgeting and saving for when I move out.

I have had time to think about this, and I'm going through with getting the bed. Looking at my original statement, I think I was being a bit of a dick. Thank you for calling it out.

Am I the only one here thinking that its kind of cool to have a mom that is just fine with you bringing home overnight bed guests? Sweet!

Your site keeps giving me a Phorum Database Error when I try to post.

Lots of men older than you barely have any furniture in their homes or apartments.

Humor her and accept her gifts until you move out? Sounds like you have a solid plan and will be going to school soon. Start silently planning for moving out into your own place. If you know other responsible adults (not always easy in your 20's) then you may be able to have roommates when you move out. If you do make sure everyone signs the lease or they give you first and last months rent to give you time to find another roommate. If you put any utilities in your name then get a deposit and 2 months worth of payments from any roommates in case they move out suddenly.

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golden commando
I have had time to think about this, and I'm going through with getting the bed. Looking at my original statement, I think I was being a bit of a dick. Thank you for calling it out.

Eh, no problem. I'm sure I've posted some stuff that came off as strange to the other readers, too. Shit happens.

I get it, I still live with my parents too. And yeah people make their rude remarks. Personally, I don't think it's a crime. And I hope your mother was joking because it would be weird doing that in her house. Growing up doesn't=being sexually active, hence why I'd hope it was a joke. Bottom line, I see where you're coming from. I have Asperger's and am still working on my independence. There are times I don't feel like a legitimate adult even though I try like hell to be normal. Looking around though, there are tons of "adults" who exhibit child-like behavior and nobody calls them out. So I think you should feel ok with yourself A lot of being an adult/man is just faking it, whether that's a good thing or not.