The gig is up: bizzy mahms are power gamers October 16, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
Re: The gig is up: bizzy mahms are power gamers October 16, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
Re: The gig is up: bizzy mahms are power gamers October 16, 2018 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,970 |
Re: The gig is up: bizzy mahms are power gamers October 17, 2018 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,629 |
Re: The gig is up: bizzy mahms are power gamers October 18, 2018 | Registered: 5 years ago Posts: 132 |
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randomcfchick
I've read a lot from moms who resent the fuck out of their husband's gaming habits. Sometimes I wonder how many of them married someone who was already into gaming and figured she could change him, vs. the guy got into it only after getting married/having kids.
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Re: The gig is up: bizzy mahms are power gamers October 20, 2018 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,629 |
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childfreeadvocate
Few people marry someone who plays games sparely, then turns into an addict a few months after tying the knot. Chances are, if games are a problem in your marriage, they were a problem BEFORE the marriage - you're just disappointed you couldn't fix it with your charm. Just like if alcohol is a problem before the marriage, it's gonna be a problem after it too. Choose wisely.
Re: The gig is up: bizzy mahms are power gamers October 21, 2018 | Registered: 5 years ago Posts: 132 |
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randomcfchick
It takes a while to REALLY get to know someone. Early in the relationship is the time I refer to as "your representative is dating their representative". But even a year into a relationship when you've seen the real person, you still don't know them completely. It takes a while to see how hobbies, priorities, finances, etc shake out. This is why I think people shouldn't be running at their partner with ring...if they're awesome now, they'll be awesome three years from now or five years from now, when you've had time to get to know them, including the amount of time they want to spend on a hobby.
And never assume you can "fix" how they spend their time. This mostly seems to be a straight lady problem...though there may be guys out there like this too. But there seems to be a particular subset of the Lifescript crew that have an agenda to "improve" their partner. Ugh. So patronizing. Lawd forbid that he hang out with friends, play games, watch TV you don't care for, etc. Assume those patterns are set. Hell, assume those patterns are gonna grow stronger.
Re: The gig is up: bizzy mahms are power gamers October 21, 2018 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 3,003 |
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randomcfchick
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childfreeadvocate
Few people marry someone who plays games sparely, then turns into an addict a few months after tying the knot. Chances are, if games are a problem in your marriage, they were a problem BEFORE the marriage - you're just disappointed you couldn't fix it with your charm. Just like if alcohol is a problem before the marriage, it's gonna be a problem after it too. Choose wisely.
It takes a while to REALLY get to know someone. Early in the relationship is the time I refer to as "your representative is dating their representative". But even a year into a relationship when you've seen the real person, you still don't know them completely. It takes a while to see how hobbies, priorities, finances, etc shake out. This is why I think people shouldn't be running at their partner with ring...if they're awesome now, they'll be awesome three years from now or five years from now, when you've had time to get to know them, including the amount of time they want to spend on a hobby.
And never assume you can "fix" how they spend their time. This mostly seems to be a straight lady problem...though there may be guys out there like this too. But there seems to be a particular subset of the Lifescript crew that have an agenda to "improve" their partner. Ugh. So patronizing. Lawd forbid that he hang out with friends, play games, watch TV you don't care for, etc. Assume those patterns are set. Hell, assume those patterns are gonna grow stronger.
Re: The gig is up: bizzy mahms are power gamers October 21, 2018 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,970 |
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randomcfchick
And never assume you can "fix" how they spend their time. This mostly seems to be a straight lady problem...though there may be guys out there like this too
Re: The gig is up: bizzy mahms are power gamers October 22, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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cassia
Ohh boy- I have definitely met LOTS of straight white men (35- 55 yrs old ) who feel that they need to dictate how I relegate resources to my various and numerous hobbies, (or spend my time, my career, my friends, etc.)
Sometimes within minutes of first meeting me I have had men try to dictate his new rules for my interesting hobbies.
I learned to respond with something like....
Cassia: " Oh, (hobby) will not be a problem for us"
Prospective date has a self-satisfied grin after thinking he has controlled the parameters of my hobby .
Cassia : "If there is no dating and no "us" there is no problem"
(microphone drop and walk away)
Cassia <-- recently bought SIX different new mascot animal heads (about 90% off regular price ), after waiting 15 years for a price I could afford. (Also I do not give a flaming f*ck what anyone who wants to date me thinks about it)
Re: The gig is up: bizzy mahms are power gamers October 22, 2018 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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Cambion
There's also a difference between hardcore gamers and HARDCORE gamers. The former are pretty passionate about gaming and may do things like chuck their controllers through the wall when they lose or bitch at characters on the screen, but they're also interested in doing other shit like spending time with people and leaving the house once in a while. The HARDCORE gamers are the ones who are pretty much addicted to games and act as though gaming is a job. These are usually basement dwellers who piss in empty soda bottles and don't bathe for weeks on end, and if they do find a partner, they fully expect this person to be totally fine with them playing games 24/7, ignoring the whole family, not doing anything hygenic for months, and not working. These kinds of gamers cannot be changed or saved. In all seriousness, some of these people (usually guys) are so into gaming that they need to be surgically removed from their chairs. Not even joking, some gamers who sit in the same place for upwards of 50 hours will wind up with their flesh fused to their chairs.
Re: The gig is up: bizzy mahms are power gamers October 23, 2018 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,363 |