CF women share the bullshit they hear

CF women share the regular bullshit they endure, and that's without even mentioning that the author calls them childless women who decided not to have children (gee, if only there were a shorter way to describe that!). Well, no surprise, this article is part of "fertility month".

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‘If someone tells you they don’t want kids just accept that’s their life choice rather than coming out with stupid none factual statements.

‘For a woman to say they don’t want kids, jeez, it’s like “prepare the stones for the stoning and throw”.

‘Imagine if I had them, had a breakdown and couldn’t cope, did a runner and they ended up in care, then people would say “well you shouldn’t have had them in the first place”.

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She shared a comment she saw on her Facebook: ‘I know it’s personal choice but women that don’t want kids are either gay, selfish, scheming on their man, got some childhood trauma they cant get over, or are just nutty. I ain’t saying that a woman is only a mother but that’s her most important job.

‘Not to mention being a mum develops women into their potential. Can you reach potential without it, sure, hell look at Oprah but when she’s old and grey and has no legacy to leave to people who were family, that life will be a sad one.

‘Michelle Obama was a big shot lawyer and kids didn’t stand in her way. I’m sorry any woman that says she don’t want kids is tainted, my automatic crazy chick detector goes off. Same for men, any men that don’t want kids are suspect.’

That comment about Oprah is ridiculous. No legacy? What a pile of BS. Knowing what kind of woman she is, she will probably leave a sizable portion to charity. Helping other people's kids. But, what do I know? I'm just a selfish, cold-hearted, evil Unwoman. I will NEVER know the love of a chyld.

I prefer using the term ChildFree by Choice over Childless, but unfortunately, when I've used that term to describe myself, I've been the subject of verbal abuse. I guess breeders really have to hear that I'm missing something in my life, not free of it.

I just hate the fact that if someone says they want kids, it's generally the end of the conversation and everybody moves on. You say you don't want kids, though, and it becomes an interrogation full of hostility, insults, conversion attempts, and assumptions about your mental health. Just, why's it have to be such a big goddamn deal?

Yes, some folks have an underlying reason for not breeding, which can include anything from health issues to childhood trauma. But some people are doin' just fine and simply don't like kids, or maybe they like them and just don't want their own. For most of us, it's a combination of factors and not just one. Meanwhile, parents act like we're committing some kind of domestic crime by not spawning and they're the ones who look for every opportunity to dump their kids somewhere.

And if CF women are so horrible, why are neglected Duhs so eager to bang them with their Moo-wives quit putting out?

I don't tell a vast majority of people I'm CF because I hate being interrogated about it or told that I'll change my mind. If I said that shit to a wanna-breeder or a pigged-up woman, I'd get drawn and quartered.

I think it all boils down to breeders being miserable, and resentful that we didn't make their mistakes.

I stumbled upon that article before, too, and I gotta say, most of it annoyed the hell outta me. First the whole "fertility month" crap. Then the usual bingo shit, mildly and partially overpainted with pro-natalist excuse techniques.
And I totally agree with Kittehpeoples, the misery-seeks-company-and-hates-nonsufferers is the root of all bingos.

Ya, some comments of the women that were asked were okay, but WHY the hell does it ALWAYS have to contain the "but I adooooore kyydzz", after someone says that they cherish their chuyld-free life?!
When will this bullshit stop, that it's "outrageous" to say, that one simply DOESN'T LIKE kydzz?! And if someone has the guts to say so, why does it always end with pro-natalist psychoanalysis crap?!

That freaking comment that contained questioning a childfree woman's sanity and potential, that was simply nasty. I have no words. Would rather polish up my theoretical physics, build a time machine, and send that sexist b*tch, who posted that, straight back to the middle ages, where she belongs, and can do her "important job" to her heart's content. LOL.

Its annoying, that these articles, always in the first sentences, have to contain the excuse, why they describe the breeder's behaviour as rude: "what about the poor CHILDLESS?! What if they get TRAUMATIZED by breeders asking and bingoing them?".
And, as a nice "subtext" message, they even added that little paragraph about the "having an abortion young"-girl, that "didn't have another chance" for a kyyd. (Insert very tiny violin here) Maybe I'm too paranoid on that, but to me it smells like anti-abortion propaganda.

And: Not a single peep about the actual CHILDFREE.
So, I guess - according to that article- its "not that bad" if someone gets harassed for being childfree, if that person is "fertile", but just doesn't like freaking kydzz?! Bullshit!

I did like though, that someone finally in such a magazine said that "There are people who are miserable with their kid choice".

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Freedom & Art & Music >>>>>>>>>> human spawn

"Music is immortal. People are not."
-William Anger, "King's Story" - Thief2 FM by Zontik

I guess if breeders can't make you suffer by talking you into having a kid, they'll make you suffer with endless bingoes. It's fucking annoying!

I also resent the connotation that I am ChildLESS. I am ChildFREE, TYVM. Saying that I'm lacking something in my life is stupid. I'm free from it, not missing it.

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Cambion
I don't tell a vast majority of people I'm CF because I hate being interrogated about it or told that I'll change my mind. If I said that shit to a wanna-breeder or a pigged-up woman, I'd get drawn and quartered.

It seems best not to share unless you are in like company or you know for a fact they are great parents who are secure. If they are breeders or have regret it is very likely that they will act like it is acceptable for you to make your own decisions but there will be a slow burn of resentment and they will go out of their way to screw you given any opportunity. I'd almost rather deal with someone who is going to lay their resentment on the line (no matter how misdirected or petty) than the person who doesn't say a word and starts a slow and silent grudgefest campaign.

People in general can be very petty and small minded towards anyone they feel has any sort of advantage on them, even if they don't understand the context of it. Just like in grade and high school. Many are still stuck there even though they have physically matured.

Some good examples are: being jealous of a couple's free time without realizing they have serious infertility issues that they keep to themselves, being jealous of a person's wealth without realizing that the person worked 80 hour work weeks for 15 years to get to that point. What especially burns the jealous types are the people who don't put their victim hood out there for the entertainment of others. These same jealous types like to assume that everyone around them was handed everything and always overlook the personal struggles that are inherent in life for everyone.

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bastet-the-bass-cat
When will this bullshit stop, that it's "outrageous" to say, that one simply DOESN'T LIKE kydzz?! And if someone has the guts to say so, why does it always end with pro-natalist psychoanalysis crap?!

I can't stand kids. But it sure looks to me like most breeders don't like them, either.

I get a pass with this, as brats trigger my migraines. I simply tell said breeder what can happen if their brat triggers a migraine, and they move off. They don't want to deal with an ambulance.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

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yurble

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bastet-the-bass-cat
When will this bullshit stop, that it's "outrageous" to say, that one simply DOESN'T LIKE kydzz?! And if someone has the guts to say so, why does it always end with pro-natalist psychoanalysis crap?!

I can't stand kids. But it sure looks to me like most breeders don't like them, either.

Many will claim they like their own and it is different when they are their own kids, let's just assume for minute they actually mean this. There is still an inherent contradiction because by nature their kids will have to spend the majority of their time around other kids and as a side affect so will the parents. A parent once told me that the part she hates most about parenting is the fact that she is forced to interact with other parents and kids by virtue of being a parent. She would be busy at home after work and her kids would come in with a new kid and this would basically force her into the world of both kids and parents she may or may not like. If the kid has shit parents then she will find herself roped into helping out and often randomized. This particular kid she was talking about had parents who would let the kid out of the house and basically abandon the kid for hours at a time.

There is a forced dependency and whether they like it or not there is also a forced social acceptance. Kids will babble everything about their friends (and the house and the parents) to their own parents.

Unless the kid lives in a bubble, the parents are forced to be around other kids. And in this day and age it seems like the social pressure to stick around for all kid activities is extreme.

And it does seem that the happiest parents are the ones who wanted kids, understood the investment, are social by nature, don't mind lots of gratis babysitting of other kids and very easygoing when it comes to being around others. To these people I say, congratulations on your happiness! But to the rest of us who do not fit into this mold and realize this and follow our own paths to happiness, we are adults and let us make our own decisions.

Exactly. And so many wannabreeds, or romanticizedly brainwashed wannabreeds don't get that fact, that ONE kid automatically means A HOARD of the little bastards most of the time. Along with confrontations and unpleasantries with other breederbrains. And never again any sort of nice time off. Life is practically over. If that's happiness - well, fair enough for them, but me: No, sir!
Every freaking time I got that old "It's different when its your own!" bingo, I always replied the following, and I always got a look in reply that said: "breederbrain.exe stopped working" - a very rewarding look indeed
"Of course it's different! While I can peacefully walk away from you and your snotty-puky-shitty-costly DNA mess, I couldn't do that if it were my own. I couldn't escape this clusterfuck of a botched life, and would be trapped in it until I kick the bucket. No one could give me back my bodily integrity, wasted money, time, energy, no one would undo the environmental damage the little shit would reek with its consumerism and garbage production from day 1 on.
Besides, no one could replace the grossed-out time I spent puking my soul out, because bodily fluids and excrement doesn't suddenly become a-ok to deal with, just because it came out of a cell clump that happened to share some of my DNA.
And I would have to deal with the intolerant, ignorant, kydcentric tyrant likes of YOU (the said breeder) on daily fucking basis! Over my cold, dead body!"

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Freedom & Art & Music >>>>>>>>>> human spawn

"Music is immortal. People are not."
-William Anger, "King's Story" - Thief2 FM by Zontik

The "it's different when it's your own" bingo is acknowledging pure selfishness.

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yurble
The "it's different when it's your own" bingo is acknowledging pure selfishness.

Definitely. And it completely negates the "we love our adopted kid just as much as a bio one" claim.

There are only two ways it's different when it's your own: you can't give your own kids back because they're YOURS, and you can smack your own kids whereas it'd probably be considered assault to wallop someone else's brat (even if it's deserved).

Also, when it's your own, you "have to" love it. You can choose to love someone else's child and choose how often you want to be around it too, but you're stuck with the shithead you gave birth to no matter what. I imagine it's very hard to force yourself to love your child if he or she is a total asshole, especially if you never wanted them in the first place.

"It's different when it's your own" is just a dumb bullshit mantra breeders say to themselves in the hopes that they'll eventually believe it. Sorta like some kind of auto-brainwashing technique. When they use it as a bingo, I figure they're just trying to convince themselves.

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Cambion
"It's different when it's your own" is just a dumb bullshit mantra breeders say to themselves in the hopes that they'll eventually believe it. Sorta like some kind of auto-brainwashing technique. When they use it as a bingo, I figure they're just trying to convince themselves.

Just like "it's all worth it" and "you'll be sorry."

Oh yeah, it's different when it's your own, alright. Other people's kids are (drumroll please) THEIR responsibility. It's a responsibility that I never wanted to take on, and now that I'm older, I'm glad I didn't.