Baby Shower

I personally hate baby showers! They are so boring! All the women talk of babies, labor, child-rearing, etc. makes me want to scream! Plus you have other guests bring their bratty kids to the shower! How fun! I feel out of place in the midst of these breeders. I sure will never want to join the breeder club!

By the time I was 21 I knew that raising kids was not for me. Baby showers just reinforced that my choice was a good one. Ugh. Those things are stupid, inane, and sexist. Why on earth would someone expecting a baby want such a stupid event?

Yeah, they make women look really stupid. I also don't like the idea of congratulating and rewarding people for polluting the planet with more humans. There are plenty of ways to earn my respect and admiration, but breeding is not one of them.

I have miraculously (thankfully) never been invited to a baby shower. I have, unfortunately been asked on multiple occasions to contribute gift money or at least sign a card for an about-to-sprog co-worker, which I find offensive, and totally inappropriate for the work environment.

I'll sign a card, or throw in a couple of bucks. It creates good karma. I'd rather not have an entire army of breeders backstabbing me at work. It doesn't mean that I'm happy for them, it means that I want to remain employed. Never underestimate the breeders. Baby shower are like rituals in their sick cult...

Yeah, I always end up signing the card (for the reason sprogless stated), but I feel coerced into doing it because I know life at work will be too hard for me if I express my true feelings. That's why I think it's so inappropriate to ask employees to sign cards/donate money... They're damned if they don't, and not all of them are psycho-natalists who get excited and happy about other people's choices to breed.

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A more appropriate card for baby showers would be a sympathy card, the death of the peaceful, uncomplicated, stress-free life, as they knew it.