Fence sitters falling off the fence

...and into the CF side

https://old.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/dgctqy/bingoed_by_my_husband_at_dinner/

Soneone on reddit married a wannabreed while "on the fence" When people fall of the fence they usually fall on the side of kids or are pulled there. So this person falls on the CF side of the fence and husband bingo's the crap out them. Apparenrly the wife finds out the marriage is over all over a trip to a fish and chip joint were a-hole kids where being a pain, bringing reality to the surface in a very painful way.

She needs to divorce him anyways, as all signs point to him being a moron with his new bingo low:

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moron wanna breed
"You'll change you're mind once you've lost all your weight"

Actually, she'll be DEAD once she has lost all her weight. Being dead doesn't make a person desire kids.
However, some people may wish to die once they discover the reality of parenting firsthand!

Yeahhh, sounds like this marriage reached the danger zone once the husband started even joking about forcibly impregnating her or sabotaging their birth control. Even people with messed up senses of humor have their lines they won't cross and this is one of them.

And my guess if the guy watched someone else's brats running around being assholes and thought, "Mmm boy I sure want a few of those at home!" he's probably nuts in the head anyway.

If she's gonna stick it out with this douchewaffle, she reeeeeeally needs to get some birth control he can't fuck with. Because he's basically saying that what she wants isn't valid and what he wants is more important and he sounds like he's willing to justify a lot of questionable shit to get his own way.

Short version: the Reddit OP was out eating dinner with her husband. She's a fence sitter who has fallen on the CF side; husband is a WannaBreed. anyway, the obligatory noisy brat was at the eating establishment and her husband said "when do you want one," and she said "never." Husband jokes that he'll "knock her out" and "poke holes in the condoms" or something. (Paraphrasing, cannot find it again--Reddit navigation sucks.)

Reddit board understandably freaks out. OP says her husband is a wonderful person and they kid around a lot.

Some dude (a dude of course, and there is always one) wades in and essentially chastises the freak outs for being part of some feminist groupthink, etc. After all people on CF boards routinely discuss "bitch slapping children and parents," and he got a blow job from his wife before he was even awake--should he call the police now. And if the OP says it was a joke, it's a joke.

I'm not buying it. It's 2019 and any guy who jokes about poking holes in condoms or raping a woman is not a nice guy. If that's groupthink, then I'm glad to be on a board like this. I agree she needs to leave the guy because they do not want the same thing, but I would be so out of there and I definitely wouldn't be having sex with this guy ever again.

If it didn't bother her and he was just joking, then why did she go to Reddit and whine about it? She must have known that people would have strong opinions about anyone threatening to sabotage birth control.

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mumofsixbirds
If it didn't bother her and he was just joking, then why did she go to Reddit and whine about it? She must have known that people would have strong opinions about anyone threatening to sabotage birth control.

As demonstrated in this recent post where a man's wife engages in reproductive coercion.

Fence sitting seems to be a thing for people who want attention, at least some of them. I think some fence sitters just want to be pulled off the fence by someone as they do not want the responsibility of making a clear decision and living with the consequences.

Fence sitters sit up there and people who want more of their own kind on their side will try to pull them off.
There are even fence sitting trans people now. My trans uncle who is 70, met a young woman, a friend of his neice's daughter who was getting married and tried to convince her fence sitting "trans" female friend to go for it and become a guy already. Everyone was like "let this stranger decide for themselves" but he wants more trans people out there, every trans person is one vote against the people who are opposed to them, so breeders want more of their own

"We’re not one of those nutters who calls kids crotch fruit or spawn or whatever godforsaken name there is,"

I guess this "cf" guy who "put off getting snipped and got oopsed would not like bratfree

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cfdavep
"We’re not one of those nutters who calls kids crotch fruit or spawn or whatever godforsaken name there is,"

I guess this "cf" guy who "put off getting snipped and got oopsed would not like bratfree

Haha! What makes me think he lurked here?

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cfdavep
Fence sitting seems to be a thing for people who want attention, at least some of them. I think some fence sitters just want to be pulled off the fence by someone as they do not want the responsibility of making a clear decision and living with the consequences.

From a social standpoint, it's a good place to be. They won't have to worry about people being assholes to them for being "one of those childfree people," but they're also still in breeders' good graces because they can possibly be swayed to the Moo side still. You can sort of play both sides of the field. I'd wager a good chunk of fencesitters are closet CFers, but they don't want the stigma that comes with saying you don't want kids outright, so saying they're on the fence about kids keeps people off their backs compared to them saying they aren't having kids.

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"We’re not one of those nutters who calls kids crotch fruit or spawn or whatever godforsaken name there is"

Then don't fucking come here. One of my favorite things about Bratfree is liberal use of our colorful vocabulary, which includes terms I've never heard anywhere else. I've always had to check myself on other CF sites because most of them had rules against name-calling, which I hated.

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Cambion
Then don't fucking come here. One of my favorite things about Bratfree is liberal use of our colorful vocabulary, which includes terms I've never heard anywhere else. I've always had to check myself on other CF sites because most of them had rules against name-calling, which I hated.

Bratfree is the only CF forum I visit.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

There is yet another thread there about posters complaining that their "cf" friends went breeder five years later after announcing cfdom. One person said that they are considering "taking in foster kids" to see for sure if parenthood is for them or not, while admitting they would get to spend longer on the fence.

Some of these "cf" people are like that trans male kid who walks into 7th grade one day and out of nowhere says he is a girl and will be using the girls washroom sending girls screaming that a potential perv may be in the bathroom to look at them and the school has to go along with it.

cfdavep, I am not really worried about trans guys in womens rooms: I worry about the real predators who would use that as a cover

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

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craftyzits

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Cambion
Then don't fucking come here. One of my favorite things about Bratfree is liberal use of our colorful vocabulary, which includes terms I've never heard anywhere else. I've always had to check myself on other CF sites because most of them had rules against name-calling, which I hated.

Bratfree is the only CF forum I visit.

It's the only one I visit now. It was also the first one I ever joined. When I found out what childfreedom was (this was like 13 or 14 years ago, mind you), I pretty much just signed up on every single CF site I found: this one, CFEZ, Positively Childfree, Childfree LiveJournal, Tanglewood, CF Hardcore, and Happily Childfree. Most of them I left and they eventually either stopped getting traffic or disappeared entirely.

I think Bratfree was one of the first CF sites, wasn't it? I don't think it's quite as busy as it used to be (excluding troll activity), but a lot of the same members from years and years ago are still here. It's kinda corny saying this, but I kind of feel like Bratfree is a little mini online family.

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Cambion
It's the only one I visit now. It was also the first one I ever joined. When I found out what childfreedom was (this was like 13 or 14 years ago, mind you), I pretty much just signed up on every single CF site I found: this one, CFEZ, Positively Childfree, Childfree LiveJournal, Tanglewood, CF Hardcore, and Happily Childfree. Most of them I left and they eventually either stopped getting traffic or disappeared entirely.

I think Bratfree was one of the first CF sites, wasn't it? I don't think it's quite as busy as it used to be (excluding troll activity), but a lot of the same members from years and years ago are still here. It's kinda corny saying this, but I kind of feel like Bratfree is a little mini online family.

Reddit draws a lot of the 20-something crowd, whereas Bratfree skews mostly older. Personally, I like having an independent platform where we have more freedom to say what we want, without worrying about falling afoul with the terms & conditions of some random social media site. This is not to say that I'm not on Reddit, only that I wouldn't use Reddit as a platform of choice for building a more permanent community. Still, the advantage of using a well-known platform is that you continue to get newcomers, which we somewhat lack here. I really hope that doesn't lead to it becoming moribund.

But moving to a social media platform is why I left the other CF forum I was fond of, Selfish Heathens. I was also briefly on TCFL, until I learned that the person running it is raising step-children, which explained a lot of the acceptance of fencesitters and other non-CF people.

Divorce is cheaper than a lifetime of regret....still sucks that they were paired with a joke-about-assault trogolydyte for any amount of time though.

Ugh, shut up about trans kids, theyre not hurting you and theyre being killed in the streets (sometimes by their own shitty parents), what the hell does that have to do with anything? Whatever. Anyway, prefer Reddit, go on all forums except the trash Facebook ones owned by parents and pedos looking at children in prom dresses and in bathtubs and racists who consider babymaking to outdo the 'brown people'. I miss when thechildfreelife had a steps section to laugh and be bewildered at..

benevolent Anti-natalist, pro-abortion, pro-smut, anti-sleeze, eat the rich, fuck childbirth. pro-black, lgbtqia? Cool. *thumbs up*

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Cambion

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cfdavep
Fence sitting seems to be a thing for people who want attention, at least some of them. I think some fence sitters just want to be pulled off the fence by someone as they do not want the responsibility of making a clear decision and living with the consequences.

From a social standpoint, it's a good place to be. They won't have to worry about people being assholes to them for being "one of those childfree people," but they're also still in breeders' good graces because they can possibly be swayed to the Moo side still. You can sort of play both sides of the field. I'd wager a good chunk of fencesitters are closet CFers, but they don't want the stigma that comes with saying you don't want kids outright, so saying they're on the fence about kids keeps people off their backs compared to them saying they aren't having kids.

Quote

"We’re not one of those nutters who calls kids crotch fruit or spawn or whatever godforsaken name there is"

Then don't fucking come here. One of my favorite things about Bratfree is liberal use of our colorful vocabulary, which includes terms I've never heard anywhere else. I've always had to check myself on other CF sites because most of them had rules against name-calling, which I hated.

I kind of understand the childless being offended by the terms we use, because they are all sensitive about their lack of brats. And as Cambion points out there is no reason for them to come here anyways. But I venture to guess most parunts have used much much more colorful terms to describe their brats on many occasions. Of course, these same parunts are the ones to show much righteous indignation the second a childfree dares to use a colorful expression.