CF woman leaves kid to scream for 4 hours

https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wb7bgd/aita_for_not_caring_for_a_child_i_said_i_wouldnt/

I guess the entitled sister dumped it on her and took off. So the CF woman put it out in the porch and the kid howled for 4 hours in a shitty diaper. The comments were saying that she should've called the cops on the sister instead and called it a child abandonment issue or CPS which made sense.

A few commenters took the post as an opportunity to paint cf people as "willing to do anything" to prove their idenity as non-parents. A few commenters also saw it as an opportunity to score points with the general public by saying they would never do that.

The op was wrong to leave the kid to squall for hours as it was abuse. One would think the op could just grab the sis on the way out and tell her "hell no"

I will agree that it was kind of shitty to leave a screaming brat on the porch for four hours in its own filth to make a point because the kid didn't do anything wrong and it's not the kid's fault he has a terrible parent. But I place more blame on the Moo for assuming that famblee = free on-call babysitter.

The author should have called the police to report an abandoned child because it was left at her home without her permission, and then let its Moo fight with the cops to get her kid back. Treat it as if a total stranger dumped a kid on your porch. I would not have called the author's parents to come collect the kid because that's the easy way out. Let Miss BreederMoo explain to the police why she felt it was acceptable to leave her child on someone's porch under the assumption they would care for the kid until she decided to return. It will make her think twice about trying to force the author to brat-sit, whereas calling the author's parents to mind the brat may not discourage Moo from pulling this shit again in the future. Potentially getting her ass investigated by CPS probably will.

Why the fuck would you want someone who doesn't like kids and doesn't want to be around kids to watch yours? I would never ask someone who hates cats to watch my cats because I'd be afraid of them neglecting or abusing said cats, either intentionally or because they don't know how to care for them. Only a breeder would look at someone who is clearly adverse to their offspring and go, "Mmmhmm, there's my babysitter!" She can't care too much about her kid if she's willing to leave it with someone - family or not - who obviously wants nothing to do with it.

A lot of commenters hated the op because she had no interest in the nephew and one person pointed out that they were disgusted that the op put the word "nephew" in quotes to indictate that having a nibling is a cf choice or not. They then said if they had their own kid the person would probably treat it the same way.

I can't see how the op could let the moo leave without being honest like the moo ran that fast out of there that the op could not get a word in edgewise. Why not yell that if the kid stays I am calling CPS or look after it once and then tell moo if she tries that again she will be reported.

As a kid a former friend of mine showed up out of the blue and asked me to feed her dogs while she was out of town. We hadn't hung out in a couple of years. I told her no because I would also be out of town. As she left she said thanks for agreeing and bye. I didn't think anything of it because I just told her no.

So, a few weeks pass and she is at my front door beating on the door and freaking out that I didn't come over and feed her dogs. And if I was going to be out of town I could have found someone else to watch them. And now they are sick from not being fed. And blah blah drama, tells my mom her sob story who then asks me what happened. I tell my mom I told her no when she asked me to watch her dogs and that I wouldn't be in town. This former friend had proven herself to be more than a bit manipulative so my mom disregarded her drama.

The sister told her sister "no" when she asked her to watch her brat. Same as I told my former friend. The sister with the brat is an asshole. I didn't have anything against her dogs, I just wasn't available and I'm not trolling the streets to find someone to watch someone else's pets. It is was her problem, not mine.

Also, the brat was in the entryway not on the porch, so it was alone for four hours but not in any elements. And I didn't find any mention of the brat being in a carrier.

If she called the police on her sister then her famblee still wouldn't talk with her. Perhaps she can go low to no contact with them? It is either that or be a free bratsitter for her sister until she "forgives" her, likely when the brat hits 18.

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cfdavep
I can't see how the op could let the moo leave without being honest like the moo ran that fast out of there that the op could not get a word in edgewise.

My aunt used to be like this when her now-grown kid was still a toadler. She'd find ways to dump her kid on her female siblings and/or nieces without really asking them if it was okay first. Things like leaving the kid on the porch or in the yard of one of said siblings and the kid would knock and happily announce that Mommy said she could come over to play that day. Visiting a sibling and then saying she'll be back later to retrieve the child as she's walking out the door so the sibling had no time to refuse. Sending the child outside alone running after the sibling's car as they are leaving because "Mommy said I can go to your house today!"

She definitely did this on purpose because she knew her siblings would say no if asked because they all had, you know, their own shit to deal with. So she'd put them in positions where they had no choice but to watch the kid because she knew we wouldn't just abandon a toddler in the backyard or the road. So breeders do have their ways of being sneaky about coercing people into brat-sitting.

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As far as the CF author in question, who knows, maybe this was the last straw. Maybe the breeder sister has a history of pulling this shit witht he author and completely ignoring the brat was the only way to make the sister fuck off already. I guess I missed the part where it said the brat was indoors, just unsupervised. So he was likely fine, just needed a diaper change. It was still not great to totally ignore a brat for that many hours and just let it shriek, but I place most of the blame on the breeder sister. She needs to learn to ask permission before leaving her kid with someone. If everyone is refusing to watch her kid, maybe there's a reason for it?

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Cambion
As far as the CF author in question, who knows, maybe this was the last straw. Maybe the breeder sister has a history of pulling this shit witht he author and completely ignoring the brat was the only way to make the sister fuck off already.

That was my impression. What is it they say on AITA? It's never about the Iranian yogurt? I'm willing to bet this isn't the first bullshittery sis has pulled.

Maybe OP shouldn't have let the kid sit in a dirty diaper; I don't know how long it's safe to leave a soiled diaper. But she definitely should have called the police. Guarantee that'd be the last time the kid got dumped on her without permission.

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kittehpeoples
Maybe OP shouldn't have let the kid sit in a dirty diaper; I don't know how long it's safe to leave a soiled diaper. But she definitely should have called the police. Guarantee that'd be the last time the kid got dumped on her without permission.

Given that modern diapers are often made to be suuuuper absorbent, my guess is the kid was a little uncomfortable, at worst. Some disposable diapers are made to be worn for 12 hours at a time without causing the child any issues. But of course when a child feels the tiniest speck of discomfort, their response is to shriek like both their legs got broken at the same time. I wonder how the author managed to tolerate four hours of screaming! I would have been tempted to stuff a sock in its mouth after about five minutes.

Doesn't the author have neighbors? I'm amazed someone else didn't call the police to report a child in distress if it really screamed the whole four hours it was on the porch.

Hopefully the breeder sister learned her lesson and will ask people if they will babysit before abandoning her child with them.

Her famblee may not be speaking to her but it was just a matter of time. She could either watch the brat anytime her idiot sister dumped it on her or she could cut her losses and ignore the brat or call the police.

I'd recommend she "make amends" with her family the day she moves at least two hours away. After she "makes amends" she can tell them it is moving day and she'll see them on the holidays, maybe.

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Cambion
Doesn't the author have neighbors? I'm amazed someone else didn't call the police to report a child in distress if it really screamed the whole four hours it was on the porch.

Well, there's always the chance that it's fake, so...maybe there was nobody else to hear.

It sounds fake to me. It's just too extreme. I mean, I can't stand children, and I wouldn't put up with someone dumping a baby on me, but I wouldn't leave it totally unattended, I would simply call the authorities. No matter how annoying I may find someone, I wouldn't want them to be injured or killed when I had the means to prevent it.

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Cambion


My aunt used to be like this when her now-grown kid was still a toadler. She'd find ways to dump her kid on her female siblings and/or nieces without really asking them if it was okay first. Things like leaving the kid on the porch or in the yard of one of said siblings and the kid would knock and happily announce that Mommy said she could come over to play that day. Visiting a sibling and then saying she'll be back later to retrieve the child as she's walking out the door so the sibling had no time to refuse. Sending the child outside alone running after the sibling's car as they are leaving because "Mommy said I can go to your house today!"

She definitely did this on purpose because she knew her siblings would say no if asked because they all had, you know, their own shit to deal with. So she'd put them in positions where they had no choice but to watch the kid because she knew we wouldn't just abandon a toddler in the backyard or the road. So breeders do have their ways of being sneaky about coercing people into brat-sitting.

I have a family member who does similar thing. They get people to watch the kids, and then are several hours late for the promised pickup time.

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