Don't stick your dick in crazy...or spread for it either

long read

I had to call CPS on my sister

Burner account. I feel so fucking stressed and guilty.

Guilty for calling, but also guilty for waiting so long to call. I also called animal control and they will be at her door in a few hours. I’m in college and the new semester just started and no way am I going to be able to focus in class today.

My niblings are severely neglected. They don’t attend school, and one has an IEP for a diagnosed developmental delay and has long hair matted down to the scalp. Their house is a house of horrors just filled with garbage and urine and feces from the animals that they don’t take care of.

They all sleep in one bedroom because the house is filled to the brim with trash.

I’ve tried cleaning, I’ve tried hiring people, I’ve tried begging. Nothing has worked. I’ve spend thousands of dollars trying to get this house cleaned up and nothing gets through to her.

My sister needs psychiatric help and she won’t get it. The woman I knew 5+ years ago would have never treated living breathing creatures like this. I don’t even know who she is anymore. She’s such a liar that I have no idea what’s the truth when she’s talking to me. The school is on the verge of taking her to court for educational neglect.

She keeps them out until dawn door dashing and then they sleep until 4pm and do it all over again. The kids don’t have friends or social lives. They barely know how to act around people. I’m so disgusted and sad. My sister was my best friend but I can barely look at her without feeling like I’m going to be sick. Our parents have washed their hands of this and don’t want to be involved anymore. They’ve tried everything I have and have given her so much money because she refuses to get a job. I don’t want them to be mad at me for calling, but I didn’t see them doing it. I have two kids of my own to take care of and taking on my niblings would completely disrupt the household but if they get removed from her care, I’d rather they came to me while she gets help.

Our grandmother just died and now I feel even more guilty for calling because she was close to her and her mental health is already in the toilet. I feel so lost and alone in this.

ETA

Her children’s father (biological father of only one child but raised the other child) died unexpectedly in 2020. He did EVERYTHING for her. Cooked, cleaned, took care of the kids school parenting and hygiene, and took care of the kids in their in home daycare.

They weren’t really together by the end of his life as he was an alcoholic and he was removed from the household legally after he started being investigated for child pornography. Her life is a mess. But losing the stability that he gave her, absolutely rocked her. Things crumbled when he was removed from the home and the responsibility was shifted to her. Then when he died, it made it a lot worse as she still loved him.

Update: Since people have been asking to be brought along for the ride.

I have heard absolutely nothing about animal control. From my sister, or from the animal control officer that I spoke to. He was going to stop in Monday morning and it’s now Wednesday afternoon. I’m not sure if maybe he did stop in and nobody told me, but nothing really to update there. I’ve also not heard anything about DCF/CPS.

My sisters best friend has been keeping me updated on what’s happening. She has also been trying to clean up her house and has been driving two hours to bring my niblings to school so that my sister doesn’t need to. I do not agree with this, though I am glad that they are going to school. I told her friend that she needs to not bail her out because if she can’t do these things without her, then we’re not really helping her. I’ve been right where she is. She is basically me 6 months ago.

Her best friend is not only driving 2 hours (both ways) to help my sister, but she has taken time off of work to clean her house. I don’t think she can get very far on her own, but my niece somewhat has a bedroom floor now. She’s also been sending me things to post on the market place to sell, including a rabbit enclosure that I had no idea she had. That one mysteriously died as well I’m told.

The kids have gone to school the last 3 days (late), because of my sisters friend. I fear she is just making the problem worse by doing it for her, but at the same time, the kids need to go. It’s such a hard place to be. She told me that my sister is still sleeping and it is currently 2pm because she was doordashing all night. I don’t know how she plans to keep this up.

Thanks everyone for the kind words and advice. It’s been so nice and encouraging to read through. You have no idea how much it helps.

ETA

I have just added an updated post.

1st Update 3 days later

I called CPS on my sister. Somewhat of an update.

My sister is VERY upset with me because I told our mother that her children aren’t going to school even after the meeting she had with the school telling her she has until the 19th to clean up her act or they’re taking her to court for educational neglect. My mother wasn’t happy with her and called her and told her off, to which my sister told her to “lose her number”. She is still not speaking to me, but she will get over it. She probably won’t get over the CPS thing though.. I haven’t heard anything from them or from animal control and she hasn’t said anything about it. So it’s still a waiting game.

The school made a plan with her to have the kids at school at 7:15 because she told them the problem is that the kids don’t want to go and be watched when they walk in. (Because she is constantly late bringing them to school and they’re walking in midday), and every day this week they have been at least an hour and a half late despite her friends best efforts. Her best friend has been keeping me updated on things and she has been driving 2 hours each way in order to bring the kids to school and when she stayed the night, she slept in the garage because the smell of urine and feces was so intoxicating.

Her best friend went back home last night to get some rest before she starts work again tomorrow (she took a week off of work for my sister) It’s currently 9:30 am and I haven’t seen her location move from her house and so I know that her kids are probably not going to school today. She told me getting up wasn’t the problem, but her best friend told me she’s been staying up all night door dashing and sleepin until 2-3pm while she brings them to school. What is her plan now that her friend went back to her own life??

Her best friend is where I was a year ago. She thinks she can fix her. She bought the kids new clothes for school because none of them fit, and has attempted to clean her house. She spent 12 hours cleaning and has hardly made a dent. She found two huge dead rats in common areas that the dogs have been peeing on (probably to mask the smell) I am so fucking disgusted. She told me her kids are not going anywhere and to stop rearranging my house for them, but she is not doing anything to make any changes for her kids.

I want the kids here so badly.

ETA

I have just called CPS again. I gave them all of the new information that I have from her best friend, as well as sent them pictures of the kids bedrooms. There is a pellet gun on the floor in one of the pictures and I’m sure they won’t take kindly to that.

I also told them about the moldy unusable fridge, broken oven, caked urine and feces all over everything, and the huge dead rats that were found. I hope they get in there quickly.

Another update:

I called and spoke to the school. She did not get them to school, and ignored all of their calls and texts and emails. She didn’t even bother to tell anybody that they weren’t going. This is against their agreement, and doesn’t bode well for her. The front desk lady seemed frustrated as well, and seemed very well informed of the situation. They’ve really given her every opportunity to get them to school.

She is still giving me the cold shoulder. I texted her and asked if she needed me to bring the kids to school tomorrow and that I’d give them breakfast. Nothing.

The principal is supposed to give me a call back at some point and they will potentially start doing welfare checks with the police when they don’t show up. I am one of the kids emergency contacts and so they were more than happy to talk to me and seemed on the same page. I asked earlier this afternoon about doing one today and it seemed like they might since I requested it. I have yet to hear anything so I’m not sure if they did or not. I’m going to call and do the same thing tomorrow on my lunch break at school. I won’t give up.

2nd Update

I called CPS on my sister - Update - THEY FINALLY GOT INVOLVED.

I’m not sure if I should keep making new posts, or add on to the ones I’ve already made? Someone let me know lol I don’t know how this works.

I called and talked to the school for the second day in a row. She did not get them to school yesterday or today, and slept through all phone calls from them. I watched her location and she got home at about 6:30am, and it hasn’t moved from there.

I’m going to start calling my sisters best friend Jen.

Jen called my sister from 7 to 9 this morning until one of my niblings answered the phone. They said they’d been trying to wake her up for an hour and she wouldn’t get up to bring them to school. Jen says they brought the phone to my sister and Jen told her to get her ass up. My sister lied and told her she brought the kids to school yesterday and she’d do it today. Spoiler alert: She didn’t. Jen is upset that she’s been lying to her, but I think she’s always lied to her, she’s just realizing it now.

Well, fast forward a few hours, I start getting a notification for every message that is being deleted by Jen incriminating my sister. Dozens of messages including pictures. Luckily, I had most everything saved already at that point. I asked what she was doing and she ignored me for a bit and then I get a call from her. She’s crying and upset and says “what did you do”. I played completely dumb. Apparently my sister called her ripping mad screaming saying that CPS got involved and hung up on her. She thinks Jen is the one who called. I do feel pretty bad about that. I have no idea if they showed up or if they called, but it didn’t sound good. She has an inspection coming up but we are unsure of when. I wish I knew what went down. All I know is that they mentioned the things Jen had told only me, so it’ll come back to me eventually. It’s doesn’t sound like she let that on to my sister.

If somebody showed up to her house, I’m sure she refused to let them in, which is an obvious red flag. Her porch looks terrible and there’s trash and feces all over outside, so I’m sure that was another rock in her sack.

We have our grandmothers funeral tomorrow morning, and if she gets her ass out of bed at 8:30 tomorrow morning (doubtful), it’s going to be one awkward family reunion. Jen is also going. I’m shitting bricks.

ETA

I just messaged her other close friend who also happens to be a social worker. She’s helping me get in touch with their social worker. (No the friend hasn’t seen the house in a good year or two)

UPDATE added as an edit

She did not make the funeral. Jen drove two hours to drag her out of the house but she refused to go. Now Jen is cleaning up her house while my sister does absolutely nothing. I told her to just give it up, but she thinks she’s doing what’s best. The DCF inspection is bright and early Monday morning. Jen is doing what she can to hide the evidence. They’re both more worried about “figuring out who called” than the kids well-being. I’m beyond disgusted. Jen thinks she’s being a good ride or die friend, but I do not see it that way. I wish I could never talk to either of them again, but my niblings don’t deserve to be isolated.

Thanks for listening to my woes.

Update added as an edit

12/11 @ 8pm

My sister has her inspection tomorrow morning. I don’t know what time as she won’t tell us. She’s done nothing to help this situation. My guess is she will just not let them in, and they will have to get a warrant. If anyone has any insight on how that goes, please let me know!

I also sent DCF a long email explaining everything about Jen and have offered my home and time to them should they need me. I’ll make a more in depth update after I find out what happens tomorrow. I’m hoping the social worker gives me a call and updates me.

3rd Update Dec 18th

I called CPS on my sister Update

I don’t even know where to begin. It feels like so much has happened, yet nothing at all.

My sister knows somebody called and is blaming Jen and isn’t speaking to her. I feel slightly awful, because now my sister is speaking to me again, and talking shit about Jen. I’ve been redirecting her as best I can. The only reason she’s even talking to me is because she wants to “borrow” my car. (I wouldn’t see it again). So I’ve been just saying it’s at the shop, which isn’t a lie, but I can pick it up any time. I just haven’t had the time with school and work. But I’m not telling her that. She only talks to us when she needs something like picking up her vape juice and giving her money or a vehicle. I’m trying to hard for these kids and I just feel like I’m getting nowhere besides poking the bear.

For now I’m saying let’s make the best of it and get some help, but she’s yet to make any effort.

The only people that know I called is our dad, my partner, and her friend Cara, who is actually a DCF worker. She’s been so helpful through all of this in trying to help me help the kids, in a way that won’t cause her to lose her job. (And all of you)

My sister did not go to the funeral as expected, and she has a meeting on Monday with the school to discuss the kids truancy again. This was her deadline to start going before they took her to court. I’ve been calling the school every day, and they’ve not gone once since Jen stopped bringing them day 3 of their deal. It’s been a few weeks now. They know my phone number now and greet me by name LOL.

My sister managed to dodge her DCF worker two days in a row, once she rescheduled, and second the worker rescheduled. The house still looks horrendous. I dropped off operation happiness gifts and food and I couldn’t even get past the front door. It was a dark dingy dirty stinky cave. She’s still in denial, and says “Jen called DCF on me over a moldy zucchini. She’s dead to me”. Actually, she’s just plain delusional. There’s no way she can actually believe that, not when I’ve seen her house and smelled them all. She even shits on Jen for her cat and kittens and how “at least there’s not shit and piss at her house” (There is. A lot. She just doesn’t leave her bedroom)

She’s not put in a single gram of effort into cleaning her house, but she has spent lots of time trying to figure out who called on her which is just disgusting.

I’ve told her friend Cara everything, and she has been trying to talk to her, but my sister has been lying through her teeth to her, which is unhelpful because I’ve told her absolutely everything. She said she may have to write her own report based off of the things I’ve told and things she’s noticed. She gave my information along to my sisters social worker and said to expect a phone call soon as it’s being made a priority. My sister is going to be PISSED.

I’ve been dropping hints to her about seeking treatment, and easing her into the thought of her kids coming to my house. She’s still vehemently against it, and says they are not leaving her house under any circumstances. Unfortunately she does not have that choice, but I need her to comply with our plan once they do get taken. I have no idea how she’s going to react, and I’m terrified. Especially terrified for her children. She is not going to make this easy on them and if she has to go to court, she will get a copy of the affidavit on it that will have my name and exact report that I made. I’m not thrilled for that, but for now I’m just denying it until I can’t anymore.

Thanks again for listening to my woes.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.