I will be dealing with this when I go home in a couple of days to be with my family for Christmas. I'm almost 35 and been very verbal for several years to my family about being CF and never wanting kids. I think they think it was a phase or something and once I met the right man (even though I have been married before) I would want the whole married, knocked up, breeder life. However, I have some medical stuff going on and may have endometriosis so at the beginning of the year I am going in to have a procdure done to check. This procedure is the same one in many ways as having my tubes tied (same incision, etc) so I told the doctor "while you are in there......". So I will have my tubes tied as well. My mom and my aunt know, the rest of my family will find out when I go home in a couple days. My aunt was cool (she is a great parent with two grat grown kids) and while my mom was a great parent too, she just doesn't get it! She asked me what about if I meet a man and get married and he wants kids (I told her I wouldn't MARRY a man who wanted kids that bad). She said that she wants a grandkid that looks like me (now there is a reason to pop out a kid). She said what if I change my mind later (like i doubt that will happen but if by some ODD chance it did then there are plenty of kids who need to be adopted). After 20 minutes of running reasons why I shouldn't get my tubes tied, I finally told her that she raised me to be smart and independant and make good choices for myself right? After she said yes I said that my choice was to be CF and that was the choice for me. I told her i didn't expect her to understand it, but at least respect it. We left it at that. Will see what happens when I am with the whole family ( am sure the two biggest asses about the whole thing will be my breeder sister in law who is lazy and a crappy parent and my worthless sister who talks about wanting a baby - she is 30 - but who can't seem to take care of herself and waits tables, gets high all the time, parties with guys much younger than her, and basically is going nowhere in life and expects my mom to give her money all the time). It seems that the intelligent people in my family can understand my reasons to the best of their ability while the stupid ones think the world revolves around dropping kids out of their crotch. I don't know what kind of relationship other people have with their mom's who don't understand the CF decision, but I thnk it has to come down to "accept me for who I am and my decisons or don't expect to be a huge part of my life". I know for me it would be hard to not have my mom in my life but I know (and she knows) that if she can't accept me for me (and the decisions i make assuming they are harmful to me) then I would have to break away some. Will see what the holidays bring. Just not looking forward to having to DEFEND myself the whole time for my CF life, but will do it because it is what I LOVE!
that may arise out of this... they will never address the real issue that you are tired of the 'baby rabies' mentality, they will project the rage into the social mistake (supposed mistake) of walking out.