January Smothering madness

Yeah, it's about that time again.

Trying to Conceive After Tubal Reversal Because My Current Kids Aren't Good Enough :crz
Moo claims she is a mother of "4 walking and 9 flying" children. I...guess that means four kids and nine clumps. Was smart and got snipped, but turned back into a retard and got a tubal reversal last spring, after which there were half a dozen more miscarriages.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1342983/ttc-after-tubal-reversal-anyone-else

Homebirth Bloopers :Violin
Moo (who claims to be a midwife herself) decides she's gonna shit the loaf in a pool on the living room floor. Due date comes and goes and I think she hits 42 weeks before she decides to go to the hospital because, you know, she knows better than any silly doctor. Moo is heartbroken because she will one day have to tell this kid it was born (gasp) by C-section! First world problems.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1341539/scarletts-birth

Non-discipline :eyebrows
Four-year-old brat is on the toilet for about an hour because she refuses to wipe herself because she claims she's "too tired," which is also her excuse for not doing a single fucking thing she's told to do. Another Moo has a kid of the same age that refuses to wipe and not even what sounds like a UTI makes her do it. What a bunch of disgusting little piggies. I can only imagine how their unwiped cracks must reek. I love the term they use - "willful disobedience." Can't they just say the kid is a BRAT and call it a day?
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1342970/willful-disobedience-and-attitude-in-4yo

Anal retentive brats
Fun stories of brats who don't shit...not because they can't, but because they refuse to go in the toilet. They hold it, then shit themselves. Moos try everything to get their little crap-machines to take a dump on the porcelain throne like human beings using everything from laxatives to a fiber-rich diet to fucking massages. One tard is so reluctant to use the toilet that he has to be given regular enemas by Moo. Aren't you so upset over what we're all missing?
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1341182/need-help-dd-holding-onto-poop-a-long-term-behavioural-problem

"Forced" SAHMing :Violin
"Wah wah wah, I had to quit my job to SAHM because daycare alone costs more than my entire monthly income!" Nobody made you take a load of jizz and birth the results nine months later, bitch. If you can't take it, give the kids away and get sterilized.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1340250/sah-not-by-choice

Because Rape Babies are Wonderful :crz
Moo gets raped by creepy customer at her place of work (must not have had a big staff), gets knocked up and is shocked by it because she felt her endometriosis would serve as birth control. Has the loaf and it's OMG the best thing to ever happen to herrrrrr. The stellar reasoning behind keeping it is that it may be her only chance to have a baybee. Now she's too scared to go into public out of fear Rapey Duhddy will see her and the loaf. Never reported what happened, of course, so there's not much that could be done to nail the guy, and many people advise her not to report it anyway because it could mean Duh would find her. Sorry to hear she was assaulted, but WHY the fuck would anyone keep their rapist's child?! How can she look at that kid each day ant not be reminded of the violence that caused its existence?
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1342692/im-telling-my-story-and-asking-for-advice-trigger-warning

Unhappy Pigs
I was pretty amazed to see this on Smothering (post #7): "Having my youngest son was the worst thing that ever happened in my life. I wish it all didn't happen, I had taken the other road and I never met his father. The pregnancy left me disabled and my son was born premature. He has a rare blood disease, developmental delays, low IQ and bipolar disorder (a gift from his father). At the age of 32 when he was born my life was ruined. People say crazy things like "every child is a blessing." They don't know what they are talking about. There is a reason abortion is legal. Having a baby changes everything and you should have a choice." You mean Moo-hood/sped kids is NOT all angel farts and fairy taints?! Thank GODS all the Moo's other kids got vasectomies.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1342082/pg-and-not-happy-about-it

Some good news up
In California, if Moos don't vaccinate their kids, they get no state aid. Of course they can still claim "religious exemptions," but it's a start.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1337512/vax-the-children-or-be-denied-state-aid

ECing with a Tard
Moo is doing "elimination communication" with her going-on-four-year-old and it's not working. Junior (who of course has "delays") will happily shit everywhere but the toilet. Obviously potty-training and diapers are too easy, so Moo makes her life harder and lets her brat shit wherever she wants, but gripes about how tired she is of cleaning up after her shitty kid. Can't wait until Tardlina is a teenager and takes even bigger shits. I can imagine how good their house smells.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1343398/3-5-year-old-still-not-getting-it-heeelllp

Did you see how quickly the 'not all kids are wonderful' poster got shot down? That place is ridiculous. Anyone trys to tell them a bit of truth..........oh, where did I put my Jack Nicolson picture?

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Cambion
Because Rape Babies are Wonderful :crz
Moo gets raped by creepy customer at her place of work (must not have had a big staff), gets knocked up and is shocked by it because she felt her endometriosis would serve as birth control.

I can understand a rape victim being scared/reluctant to report it to the police, but why would she not get the morning after pill? She might think that endo meant she couldn't get pregnant, but who would want to take a chance of getting knocked up by their rapist?

WTF is it with kids that shit everywhere? It's mind-boggling to think that they haven't been taught any sort of self-respect (NOT the same thing as thinking the world revolves around you), not to mention basic cleanliness. I guess going to school and having other kids tell them they stink might shame them into growing the fuck up. I'll say it again: shame is a beautiful thing. I think it should be used much more than it is to make some of these feral brats behave like normal human beings instead of retards.

Cambion, I love your recaps and always get excited when I see a new edition of Smothering! I don't recall my mother and her friends dealing with kids like this. WTF is going on...I hope I die before one of these tards takes care of me when I'm old.

Aww, I'm glad to hear folks still like seeing these. I admit I reduced the number of stories just because there are so many trainwrecks on there I can find in one sitting and I decided to just keep the most epic failures.

That damn gentle discipline section (which encompasses a lot of other shit like EC and extended breast-feeding and attachment parenting) is what boggles my mind the most. These Moos who actually sit there and discuss things with their toddlers, and think this method actually works. Then they ask why their kids are still feral monsters even though they've read every GD book there is. Because it does. not. work.

And I just loved the responses to the woman who said having her youngest kid was the worst decision she ever made. First response to her was something like, "Have you gotten therapy to help you cope with your feelings?" Since, you know, you can't be a mother and hate your child(ren) because obviously if you don't wuv your kids, there's something wrong with YOU. Even if that child is a tard and his birth resulted in your permanent disability.

There is also a section that may be new or that I just noticed...specifically for elimination communication. Must be I never noticed it because because there's almost 120 pages of topics. http://www.mothering.com/community/f/227/elimination-communication

Lots of special stories in there and kids of all ages - from infancy to beyond toddler years - that get to run around bare-assed while Moo attempts to look for the kids' "facial cues" to rush them to the john. Success rate is about 50 percent in the handful of stories I read, sometimes not even that. So that means fewer than one out of every two shits makes it in the toilet. I can't imagine being so fucking bored with your life that you're willing to give yourself the extra chore of cleaning up the steaming puddles and piles an un-housebroken brat leaves behind and/or try to dash to the shitter before Junior drops a bomb on the rug.

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My eldest has encopresis--and has had it for sometime now. A few mamas on here told me about Soiling Solutions--and it has helped us. We've weaned him down to half dose 1x/day of Miralax...and he hasn't had any issues lately. Basically, it's more of a bottom-up than a top-down approach. Once per day you have a "power hour" of scheduled sits on the toilet. If need be, you administer a saline enema. Goal is to get them to learn to release their bowels. I was weirded out by the enemas at first, but honestly, they helped a lot--and don't phase me now. Key also is to do a clean out if they're soiling. We've gone from numerous soiling incidents to having them only when we stop the protocol. Made a gigantic difference in our son's life

This just can't be healthy for kids a people of any age. No wonder the kid can't poop. Between the laxative and the enemas his intestines probably don't function well at all. As for the toilet "power hour," I don't know any adult or child who could go on command while their mother hovers nearby with an enema. Why are these moos always so anxious over poop? Unless the kid has some sort of rare medical problem, he will poop eventually.

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evilchildlessbitch

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My eldest has encopresis--and has had it for sometime now. A few mamas on here told me about Soiling Solutions--and it has helped us. We've weaned him down to half dose 1x/day of Miralax...and he hasn't had any issues lately. Basically, it's more of a bottom-up than a top-down approach. Once per day you have a "power hour" of scheduled sits on the toilet. If need be, you administer a saline enema. Goal is to get them to learn to release their bowels. I was weirded out by the enemas at first, but honestly, they helped a lot--and don't phase me now. Key also is to do a clean out if they're soiling. We've gone from numerous soiling incidents to having them only when we stop the protocol. Made a gigantic difference in our son's life

This just can't be healthy for kids a people of any age. No wonder the kid can't poop. Between the laxative and the enemas his intestines probably don't function well at all. As for the toilet "power hour," I don't know any adult or child who could go on command while their mother hovers nearby with an enema. Why are these moos always so anxious over poop? Unless the kid has some sort of rare medical problem, he will poop eventually.

Good god! Well....I certainly feel I'm missing out on soooo much. /sarcasm.

i had dinner recently with 2 friends -who both have small kids- and as we were waiting for the check friend #1 starts talking about her kid's poop problem. he didn't want to go "#2" at school and so would hold it and he got so constipated his stomach swelled up. they took him to the doctor, doctor took an x-ray and it showed the kid's intestines filled with backed up poop. now they give him laxatives. friend then said to me "sorry, this is probably too much information!"

i responded by saying "i'm really glad i didn't order the chocolate souffle for dessert."

:BS

I can't imagine the kid will learn to shit on his own when he's being fed a steady diet of laxatives and having his bowels washed out on a regular basis. In both of those instances, there is no holding to be had - you get relief no matter how hard you may try to stop it. So what happens to a kid that grows up needing shitting assistance? Do they ever learn to go on their own, or will he just need to get someone to administer laxatives and enemas for the rest of his life because he's too fucking dumb to push a little?

I've heard if a kid holds it for too long, his body will begin to forget how to void the bowels, and then his intestines will gradually get so backed up that he'll need to have surgery to remove the impacted waste. Sure, the laxatives and stuff may prevent surgery, but how do they help Junior to know enough to shit on his own? My gods, shitting is one of the only things kids CAN do and here's a bunch of them who can't even do that much!

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myrna minkoff

i responded by saying "i'm really glad i didn't order the chocolate souffle for dessert."

:BS

This is the difference between normal people and EMS / ER Nusrse people. I would have ordered exactly that or something with chocolate and rasberry, then launched into a lower GI Bleed story for revenge larious

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“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

thom, i think i'd rather hear the lower GI bleed story! anything regarding toilets just grosses me the fuck out.

I adore the term "Homebirth bloopers." We need to make this a regular topic heading!

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

These brats ought to have the shit spanked out of them, literally!

______________

- The human gene pool could use a little chlorine

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Cambion
Aww, I'm glad to hear folks still like seeing these. I admit I reduced the number of stories just because there are so many trainwrecks on there I can find in one sitting and I decided to just keep the most epic failures.

That damn gentle discipline section (which encompasses a lot of other shit like EC and extended breast-feeding and attachment parenting) is what boggles my mind the most. These Moos who actually sit there and discuss things with their toddlers, and think this method actually works. Then they ask why their kids are still feral monsters even though they've read every GD book there is. Because it does. not. work.

And I just loved the responses to the woman who said having her youngest kid was the worst decision she ever made. First response to her was something like, "Have you gotten therapy to help you cope with your feelings?" Since, you know, you can't be a mother and hate your child(ren) because obviously if you don't wuv your kids, there's something wrong with YOU. Even if that child is a tard and his birth resulted in your permanent disability.

There is also a section that may be new or that I just noticed...specifically for elimination communication. Must be I never noticed it because because there's almost 120 pages of topics. http://www.mothering.com/community/f/227/elimination-communication

Lots of special stories in there and kids of all ages - from infancy to beyond toddler years - that get to run around bare-assed while Moo attempts to look for the kids' "facial cues" to rush them to the john. Success rate is about 50 percent in the handful of stories I read, sometimes not even that. So that means fewer than one out of every two shits makes it in the toilet. I can't imagine being so fucking bored with your life that you're willing to give yourself the extra chore of cleaning up the steaming puddles and piles an un-housebroken brat leaves behind and/or try to dash to the shitter before Junior drops a bomb on the rug.

It would be nice to have a way to give you a "thumbs up" or something without actually having to post. You did a nice job on this stuff and I have nothing worthy to add.

To sum it all up, however - if I tried ANY of the crap that gets linked here when I was a kid, my ass would have been beat, brother, and no delays. Generally I just wasnt a dick as a kid, though - unlike my sister.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke

So far I have just read the Anal Retendant thread.

This comment struck me as funny ~

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Porcelina? Really?
Here's my advice, from someone who has dealt with a lot of power issues AND the poop issue. First, use lots of miralax

First - BLAST the kids with drugs! And LOTS OF 'EM!

Go hog wild nuts! When the kid winds up with explosive diarrhea, you'll know it's working!

My blood always boils when I read about someone who gets a tubal reversal.

Re: the ones who refuse to wipe/shit all over the place - hose them off in the cold shower each time it happens. I will bet the problem solves itself in under a week.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

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mistress rotwang
My blood always boils when I read about someone who gets a tubal reversal.

Me too. I had a hard enough time trying to convince a doctor to do mine thanks to twits who "change their minds" and then bitch and moan because they were robbed of their fertility.

@LoveToLurk, better yet (speaking of hosing them off), take them to a car wash and power-wash them clean. Maybe they can put a fresh coat of wax on them too.

And trust me, those tubal reversal stories piss me the fuck off too. I've seen a couple on there, and it makes me even madder because some of them (not this lady) are people who had no children. Then they jumped ship and suddenly needed baybees. That's an especially large kick in the teeth for CFers who still get refused tubals and Essure into their fucking 30s and 40s because they might Change Their Mind^TM.

And as far as the serial shitters, if these kids are being pumped full of laxatives, I imagine they'd be a bit dehydrated and underweight. Consider the problems people with eating disorders have when they abuse laxatives in order to lose weight. Moos have no issue loading their l'il shitters to the eyeballs with Miralax, but they'll be the first ones screaming about how evil it is to give a kid NyQuil during a flight to shut him up.

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Moos have no issue loading their l'il shitters to the eyeballs with Miralax, but they'll be the first ones screaming about how evil it is to give a kid NyQuil during a flight to shut him up

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larious This is so true.

Thank you, Cambion for the smothering breeder stories.

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lab mom

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evilchildlessbitch

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Moos have no issue loading their l'il shitters to the eyeballs with Miralax, but they'll be the first ones screaming about how evil it is to give a kid NyQuil during a flight to shut him up

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larious This is so true.

THIS!

---

lab mom

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evilchildlessbitch

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My eldest has encopresis--and has had it for sometime now. A few mamas on here told me about Soiling Solutions--and it has helped us. We've weaned him down to half dose 1x/day of Miralax...and he hasn't had any issues lately. Basically, it's more of a bottom-up than a top-down approach. Once per day you have a "power hour" of scheduled sits on the toilet. If need be, you administer a saline enema. Goal is to get them to learn to release their bowels. I was weirded out by the enemas at first, but honestly, they helped a lot--and don't phase me now. Key also is to do a clean out if they're soiling. We've gone from numerous soiling incidents to having them only when we stop the protocol. Made a gigantic difference in our son's life

This just can't be healthy for kids a people of any age. No wonder the kid can't poop. Between the laxative and the enemas his intestines probably don't function well at all. As for the toilet "power hour," I don't know any adult or child who could go on command while their mother hovers nearby with an enema. Why are these moos always so anxious over poop? Unless the kid has some sort of rare medical problem, he will poop eventually.

Talk about giving a kyd a bad case of "performance anxiety"

I thought the Doula who ended up in the hospital was a big drama queen. What she posted, (minus all the sobbing and bitching on her and her BF's part) sounded like a typical birth story to me, except she herself had made her problems worse by not heeding the doctor's orders. And what is the problem with the bints who don't get to hold their baby IMMEDIATELY? They think this tiny, incoherent baby is going to be scarred for life because some nurse had to take it for a few hours and clean it/suction it, etc. You'd think these women would be grateful to be in capable hands! But no...bitch, bitch, bitch.