My Childfree Rules

Because her father is remodeling our house and I should have insisted that she be held by her mother who was there but I was trying to be nice. I actually have apologized to the china. Yes, I am nuts.

(Also, I was trying to keep her away from the dogs who followed me from room to room).

You're the best, Julie. Thanks for sharing this.

See, these are great rules because they offer no apology or excuse. None is ever needed. And this does not give false hope to relatives who are hoping against hope that you are going to change your mind.

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juliewashere88

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fade_to_pale
Julie, you are awesome. I've adopted most of these. Some others I will adopt when the final bits of my soul die from faking it to make it (which is unfortunately highly necessary, in some instances, which just absolutely kills me). I don't build bridges, but I don't want to burn any that might set me on fire, before I have enough time to get away. I've already said a lot about my CF status though, and I won't hide it, be ashamed of it, or let anyone try to make me feel ashamed of it.

You should post this on your office wall, lol. That would be a scream.

I certainly would, had I an office.

I've thought of another one. I will not use babbling baby-talk. Ever. The closest I come is talking to my dog in cheerful voice, but doing so in English.

I only speak "baby talk" to non-humans, for I love them to pieces, and they're sweet.

Whew! I finally posted my list. I wrote a lot more, I'm up to about 70 rules and that's after combining a few.

Check it out

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juliewashere88
Whew! I finally posted my list. I wrote a lot more, I'm up to about 70 rules and that's after combining a few.

Check it out

So my post on my blog has been up a little over a week. Holy shit did it get a lot of attention! I wasn't expecting that. I think most people liked it, but there were a few people who got their panties in a twist. Here are a few gems:

Note: Most of these are only partial quotes. I only copy the part of the quote that's relevant.

A few people got the idea that I'm anti-breastfeeding rather than simply pro-public decency.

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person 1
This was great, except for the breastfeeding one, because, well, frankly, it sounds kinda prudish. I think Americans as a whole are pretty uptight about nudity. I think the fact that people get offended by tits in public is kinda offensive. Do you really get offended by a woman taking her tit out in front of you?

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me
Offended? No. Disgusted.

Call me crazy, but I'm not interested in viewing the leaking privates of strangers when I'm trying to enjoy a nice steak.

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person 1
Julie, seriously, you’re “disgusted” when a woman takes her tit out? That’s a bit extreme, kinda like a hangup. What is disgusting about a breast? It’s how humans have fed infants since time immemorial (or at least until formula manufacturers screwed that up). Is it your aversion to female anatomy or is it your aversion to children. I’d understand the latter… the former is quite repressive

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me
So it’s ok for a man to whip out his cock in public? On a playground? What, you don’t have any hang ups about human bodies or men, do you? It’s just a penis. Men have gone about uncovered since time immemorial until pants messed that up
Ok sarcasm off, do you have any idea how many children who would have otherwise been malnourished or starved are saved by formula? Do you know how many women are able to achieve more in life thanks to formula? Oh yeah, formula is the devil, right?

Then someone came along advocating for a baby-worshiping
village.

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Person 2
Such an interesting list to read! We obviously differ in our views on quite a few things (I’m pretty community minded and don’t expect parents and children to regulate their behaviour all that much for my benefit, and I would never condone any kind of violence towards a child).

I don't condone violence. I made a joke about kicking over the strollers of bitches who intentionally use them as battering rams as such people obviously don't care about their kid inside anyway. Apart from that, I made mention of spanking, when appropriate. I don't like spanking, but I'd sooner condone it than some unraised brat.

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me
I’m community minded so I expect EVERYONE, without exception, to behave appropriately.

Then there was some more breastfeeding whining (apparently, breastmilk is magic among bodily fluids and can't carry pathogens ) And then I got this:

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complete idiot 1
Your views on children are yours to choose but they are quite judgmental. You clearly find no problem discriminately against children and parents base on a prejudice. It’s discrimination you’re advocating and I hope you realize this.

Yes, it turns out I'm prejudiced and am discriminating against parents and children for not affording them special treatment and license to behave inappropriately in public without correction. Yes, it's discriminatory to treat adults and children LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

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me
Holding children and parents to the same standards as everyone else is discriminatory? How do you figure?

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idiot 2
I think you make a mistake in assuming that there is a set of universal standards that applies to all people equally. Can you think of a time or place in history where this has ever been the case? Even theoretically, this doesn’t make sense. For example, if a man with normal cognitive faculties had a screaming tantrum in public because he didn’t get what he wanted, most folks would look down on that and not be very forgiving. However, if the same man had a severe mental handicap, we would probably be forgiving and try to be helpful.

It just is the case that we make different accommodations for different people depending on their individual situations. We codify it in our laws, such as the Americans with Disabilities Act. We institute policies like affirmative action. And we have informal social contracts with each other that govern our treatment of people in different circumstances.

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me
Neither being a child or being a parent constitutes disability. If a person, be they a child or adult behaves badly, they deserve to be called out on it.

If a young child not old enough to know better behaves badly, that’s likely the parents’ fault.

There is no excuse, for instance, for a child to run screaming through a Denny’s. There is no excuse for a parent to not only ignore that behavior, but to smile at me as if to ask “isn’t that cute?” No, it fucking isn’t. And I will say so.

If a person can not behave appropriately in public then they have no business being in public. Period.

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idiot 2
>> If a person can not behave appropriately in public then they have no business being in public. Period.

With a statement like this you are indeed advocating for discrimination. This is pretty abhorrent. Who decides the standard? If someone is physically unable to meet that standard, should he effectively be in home confinement for his entire life? Does your personal desire to lead a public life unpolluted by the idiosyncrasies of others really trump the rights of others to be in public as well?

You may not want to have children, and that’s completely fine. I applaud you for public claiming so and describing rational reasons for feeling that way. However, you live in a society that includes children, and to some extent their limitations need to be accounted for in public life. The special needs of young children and their mothers needs to be accounted for, and if they are not that is indeed discriminatory.

WAAAH! Not worshiping breeding is discriminatory!

I'm honestly not certain if this one is directed at me or not, but it does appear to be.

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hit and run poster
Thanks for letting us watch your descent from sane to crazy