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So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?

Posted by bell_flower 
So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 10, 2012
If you've landed on this site through desperate Googling about your plight, there are a few things you should know about this place before you get your feelings hurt.

First of all, this board is comprised of independent thinkers. We have minimal moderation here. People are free to insult each other and they may even insult YOU if they think you are about to do something stupid.

There are many places on the web where you'll get "support" for your situation. You'll be told to "compromise" and work things out for the sake of love. This isn't one of those places, because, seriously? Compromise is fine when you and your S.O. are deciding where to eat, but when you are contemplating bringing another human life into this world as a balm to your relationship issue, that's not compromise---that's pure selfishness and insanity.

Hang around any CF venue and this subject invariably comes up. Many of us have Been There, Done That, and we hate to break it to you, but if your spouse or S.O. sincerely desires kids and you do not, this isn't going to end well. Maybe not today, or next week, but you are headed for relationship disaster. If you are female, your man is probably content to Keep The Pussy Coming until he lines up a replacement. Wander over to the Bella forums and read these sad tales of woe . Listen to Cassie, who was dumped by her husband of 16 years over this issue. This issue had raised its ugly head for years and her husband was willing to stay until suddenly, he was not. They even endured the pain of marriage counseling while, unbeknownst to her, the replacement woman/broodmare was waiting in the wings. The whore he was cheating with immediately moved into Cassie's home after she left. Although Cassie has CL leanings, she tells it like it is. Don't let this happen to you:

Quote

Please understand that this need and want for your boyfriend to have children will never go away. If he wants to break up even though it has only been five months of you two dating, I think it is wise to let him go. You will never be happy with this major issue standing between you. Take it from me......it took 16 years for me to see that the issue of having children will never go away, and it will break you up sooner or later. Don't waste so many years of your life just because something feels good right now. Your life goals do not match your boyfriend's. The relationship is not going to work out, no matter how much you want to be valued for who you are as a person. It just won't be enough to sustain the relationship.

If you're a man, you need to stop sleeping with this woman until you get sterilized, period. Don't think oopsing could happen to you because you have "trust" in your relationship? You need to educate yourself about how many women think. Google "I want kids and my husband (or boyfriend) does not" or have a look at this thread. Take a look at comment numero Uno, emphasis mine:

Quote
Vile Female
Little does he know, I plan to have as many as I think I can handle. I don't advocate tricking your husband, but ultimately the mother bears the brunt of parenthood (so we should have the final say) and I know I would resent him forever if I didn't have as many children as I wanted to have


Nice, huh? She doesn't advocate tricking her husband, unless his reproductive plans differ from hers, in which case, she is fully justified. Take it from me, a woman, when I say, THERE ARE A LOT OF WOMEN WHO FEEL THIS WAY, and to them, the end justifies the means. If she were a man, this would be called domination and trickery and worse, but many in our society merely chuckle over the reluctant man who must be coaxed into fatherhood because he'll Love It After It Gets HereTM.

So men, if you post here looking for support, you will be likely advised to get sterilized or stop having sex with your woman. And please don't get all butthurt that some of our members are regarding your precious girlfriend as a potential Oopser, Pill-forgetter or birth control sabateur.

We'd like to tell you that the world is full of strong people who know what they want and act accordingly. If they want kids and their partner does not, they do the kindest thing for all. They break up and move on, thereby freeing both people to find a more suitable partner. They do not sabotage the birth control or stay and tear each other apart with resentment. Anyone who thinks an unwilling parent makes a good parent is fucked in the head, period. You don't want to be around people like that. A rational person wants someone they love to be HAPPY. If they love you and they KNOW parenthood would make you miserable, they wouldn't want you to experience that. They are big enough to walk out the door and they do it with minimal drama. Only a loser will stay around and whine at you and make you feel as if it's your fault that you won't change your basic nature FOR THEM.

See the difference?

My advice will always be: get sterilized. Particularly if you are single. Yes, I know it requires surgery. Boo-hoo.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 10, 2012
Why do these fencesitters have to make things so fucking complicated? If there is one thing that just pisses me the fuck off it is indecision. Godess damn it, make a fucking decision and grow up! If you don't want kids, get snipped (this goes for EITHER sex) and stop being so fucking dramatic about it.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 10, 2012
Bell_Flower, that was an outstanding essay. All of it is true. Your comments should be required reading for every 18–year-old, because the odds are that some won't want children (at least right now), but their significant other might be looking to sprog immediately if not sooner. Or vice versa.

Unfortunately, many lurking breeder wannabes simply won't read it or won't think it applies to them and their relationship du jour. He/She'll love it when it gets here...
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 10, 2012
Quote
cfbitchfromla
Why do these fencesitters have to make things so fucking complicated? If there is one thing that just pisses me the fuck off it is indecision. Godess damn it, make a fucking decision and grow up! If you don't want kids, get snipped (this goes for EITHER sex) and stop being so fucking dramatic about it.

In one of the other threads, the OP had Essure and the boyfriend still flipped out about wanting kyds. There is no logic here. There are a lot of people who want what they want and just don't get that they might not be able to have it so they string things along in a fantasy land until all hell breaks loose.

I also learned that women can pressure an infertile man into taking responsibility for her sperm doner kids so even a sterile man can be prey for rabid wanna moos. It's crazy. Why not just find a breeder, they are a dime a dozen? Because they want THAT man or woman, and for that man or woman to be the other parent, one way or another. They will lie, cheat, steal sperm, sabotage lives, go bankrupt, cause immense pain and I'm sure there have been murders and suicides over this.

Once someone shows ANY interest in breeding or being with loaves or even get the "look", RUN so fast, RUN. I wish someone had told me this years ago.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 10, 2012
Quote
bell_flower
If you've landed on this site through desperate Googling about your plight, there are a few things you should know about this place before you get your feelings hurt.

First of all, this board is comprised of independent thinkers. We have minimal moderation here. People are free to insult each other and they may even insult YOU if they think you are about to do something stupid.

There are many places on the web where you'll get "support" for your situation. You'll be told to "compromise" and work things out for the sake of love. This isn't one of those places, because, seriously? Compromise is fine when you and your S.O. are deciding where to eat, but when you are contemplating about bringing another human life into this world as a balm to your relationship issue, that's not compromise---that's pure selfishness and insanity.

Hang around any CF venue and this subject invariably comes up. Many of us have Been There, Done That, and we hate to break it to you, but if your spouse or S.O. sincerely desires kids and you do not, this isn't going to end well. Maybe not today, or next week, but you are headed for relationship disaster. If you are female, your man is probably content to Keep The Pussy Coming until he lines up a replacement. Wander over to the Bella forums and read these sad tales of woe . Listen to Cassie, who was dumped by her husband of 16 years over this issue. This issue had raised its ugly head for years and her husband was willing to stay until suddenly, he was not. They even endured the pain of marriage counseling while, unbeknownst to her, the replacement woman/broodmare was waiting in the wings. The whore he was cheating with immediately moved into Cassie's home after she left. Although Cassie has CL leanings, she tells it like it is. Don't let this happen to you:

Quote

Please understand that this need and want for your boyfriend to have children will never go away. If he wants to break up even though it has only been five months of you two dating, I think it is wise to let him go. You will never be happy with this major issue standing between you. Take it from me......it took 16 years for me to see that the issue of having children will never go away, and it will break you up sooner or later. Don't waste so many years of your life just because something feels good right now. Your life goals do not match your boyfriend's. The relationship is not going to work out, no matter how much you want to be valued for who you are as a person. It just won't be enough to sustain the relationship.

If you're a man, you need to stop sleeping with this woman until you get sterilized, period. Don't think oopsing could happen to you because you have "trust" in your relationship? You need to educate yourself about how many women think. Google "I want kids and my husband (or boyfriend) does not" or have a look at this thread. Take a look at comment numero Uno, emphasis mine:

Quote
Vile Female
Little does he know, I plan to have as many as I think I can handle. I don’t advocate tricking your husband, but ultimately the mother bears the brunt of parenthood (so we should have the final say) and I know I would resent him forever if I didn’t have as many children as I wanted to have


Nice, huh? She doesn't advocate tricking her husband, unless his reproductive plans differ from hers, in which case, she is fully justified. Take it from me, a woman, when I say, THERE ARE A LOT OF WOMEN WHO FEEL THIS WAY, and to them, the ends justify the means. If she were a man, this would be called domination and trickery and worse, but many in our society merely chuckle over the reluctant man who must be coaxed into fatherhood but he'll Love It After It Gets HereTM.

So men, if you post here looking for support, you will be likely advised to get sterilized or stop having sex with your woman. And please don't get all butthurt that some of our members are regarding your precious girlfriend as a potential Oopser, Pill-forgetter or birth control sabateur.

We'd like to tell you that the world is full of strong people who know what they want and act accordingly. If they want kids and their partner does not, they do the kindest thing for all. They break up and move on, thereby freeing both people to find a more suitable partner. They do not sabotage the birth control or stay and tear each other apart with resentment. Anyone who thinks an unwilling parent makes a good parent is fucked in the head, period. You don't want to be around people like that. A rational person wants someone they love to be HAPPY. If they love you and they KNOW parenthood would make you miserable, they wouldn't want you to experience that. They are big enough to walk out the door and they do it with minimal drama. Only a loser will stay around and whine at you and make you feel as if it's your fault that you won't change your basic nature FOR THEM.

See the difference?

My advice will always be: get sterilized. Particularly if you are single. Yes, I know it requires surgery. Boo-hoo.

Outstanding. I think women who oops men are the most vile, subhuman idiots. They deserve whatever pain and suffering they get. While I think a man should protect himself, I think most people trust their partner. Unfortunately sometimes you never know what you're really dealing with until it's too late.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 10, 2012
Also, I should add, the "vile woman" quote above....WTF? It's ok for some nasty moo to dictate how many children a man should give her because that's what she can handle. What about what the man's wallet can handle? After all, that's all she's after.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 11, 2012
A-FUCKING-MEN!

every man should read the link to blogs baybe centerr.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 11, 2012
Blondie:

Any CF person who dates or marries a breeder is just asking to be a fucking doormat all of their life. They come last, after the ex, the brats and the drama. NO THANK YOU.

It took me about 15 minutes after I found out I was pregnant at 18 to some fuckbag to swear off breeders forever and I promptly called my mom to ask her to accompany me to the abortion clinic. Flushed both parasites (boyfriend and the cell clump) without regrets and without looking back.

I certainly wish more women would take charge of their lives and just tell the duhds to go fuck themselves. I wish more childfree men would just dump their wannamoos and tell them to wake up to the reality that so many single moos look at them as nothing more than walking wallets.

Just say "Snip It!"
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 11, 2012
It comes up often enough that we've seen people in your situation, and no matter how much you may think your relationship will be different, it probably won't be. Read the above essay, and follow the links (or some of these).
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 11, 2012
Maybe it's just me, i'm reading also other CF forums but it seems there is an epidemic of male wannabreeds.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 11, 2012
Quote
blackpearl
Maybe it's just me, i'm reading also other CF forums but it seems there is an epidemic of male wannabreeds.

I think it's both genders, but it does seem that the baybee raybees is more prevalent in men than ever before.

I think it's interesting that women outnumber men by at least 4:1 in CF communities online. I often wonder how reflective this is of the world in general. Also, it seems like a lot of CF men are only CF because their wives are.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 11, 2012
Quote
Ketchup
Quote
blackpearl
Maybe it's just me, i'm reading also other CF forums but it seems there is an epidemic of male wannabreeds.

I think it's both genders, but it does seem that the baybee raybees is more prevalent in men than ever before.

I think it's interesting that women outnumber men by at least 4:1 in CF communities online. I often wonder how reflective this is of the world in general. Also, it seems like a lot of CF men are only CF because their wives are.

Indeed, i do think that in CF online communities are more women than men, it contributes to the general picture, too. I met personally just one guy that is CF. The rest are the type of guys that went along with their wives. But anyway i hold on the idea that if a guy, CF or not, would not be so affected by kids as a woman is.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 11, 2012
I'm not sure if I've ever met a guy in person who is 100% CF. IMO, if a guy leaves it up to a woman to be 100% responsible for birth control, he is not really CF and is taking his chances. All I will say is that my husband is lucky he married someone who is truly CF and completely grossed out by the idea of pregnancy.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 11, 2012
Men who are strongly CF tend to be in the minority--just like men who strongly want children are not the majority of people who strongly want children. Children affect women more, so there are more women with strong feelings on the subject.

That doesn't mean that there can't be men with strong feelings on the subject, though. I'm not going to presume that whenever men have a feeling about having children that they're just being immature and don't really mean it--that's how breeders think.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 11, 2012
Quote
blackpearl
Maybe it's just me, i'm reading also other CF forums but it seems there is an epidemic of male wannabreeds.

I believe that. Last night a bunch of us took our friend (who was kicked out of her apartment by her BF who decided he doesn't love her anymore) out for drinks. Some guy was paying her a lot of attention and buying her drinks, the usual. At one point another friend and I were talking to him and he was going on and on about how he just turned 30 and he thought he'd be a dad at this point in his life. He asked if we felt this way and my friend (a female) said, "I never expected to be a dad." I wanted to tear him a new one just because I can't stand breeder talk.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 11, 2012
Quote
lar19
He asked if we felt this way and my friend (a female) said, "I never expected to be a dad."

That is just too funny.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 12, 2012
Quote
yurble
Men who are strongly CF tend to be in the minority--just like men who strongly want children are not the majority of people who strongly want children. Children affect women more, so there are more women with strong feelings on the subject.

That doesn't mean that there can't be men with strong feelings on the subject, though. I'm not going to presume that whenever men have a feeling about having children that they're just being immature and don't really mean it--that's how breeders think.

Women realize that society expects them to happily do the majority of the cuntwork, while men are still mostly free to do nothing more that swoop in when it's time for the Kodak moments. This is why most people don't bat an eye when a man says "I have to babysit my kids this weekend."

_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 12, 2012
Quote
LoveToLurk
Quote
yurble
Men who are strongly CF tend to be in the minority--just like men who strongly want children are not the majority of people who strongly want children. Children affect women more, so there are more women with strong feelings on the subject.

That doesn't mean that there can't be men with strong feelings on the subject, though. I'm not going to presume that whenever men have a feeling about having children that they're just being immature and don't really mean it--that's how breeders think.

Women realize that society expects them to happily do the majority of the cuntwork, while men are still mostly free to do nothing more that swoop in when it's time for the Kodak moments. This is why most people don't bat an eye when a man says "I have to babysit my kids this weekend."


Exactly! Why WOULD men care as much one way or the other if pinching off loaves has a minimal, if any, effect on their lives? It's easy to be wishy washy about something when one isn't personally affected by the decision. Men don't have to go through it physically and aren't expected in general to clean up after it and take care of it, feed it, take it to the doctor, cart it around to it's activities, etc..........The men who are doing well financially don't have many worries about the money part of it and the impoverished men don't have any assets the Moo-cunt baby mama can attach anyway. The men who suffer the most financially are the middle class men with jobs, but many of them jump through hoops to avoid having to pay anything, or at least as little as possible, when the relationship ends.

Society doesn't expect men to do any cunt work, so they don't and I don't blame them either because they receive the least rewards and perks as far as parenthood is concerned in comparison to women. Moo cunts with "fatherless" kids literally have created their own meal tickets. As long as they keep pinching off illegitimate loaves they will never go hungry, always have a roof over their heads, and continue to receive free medical care along with other freebies offered by "the village" in the form of welfare and tax "refund" checks for NOT working.:smn

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 12, 2012
Least we forget, dating breeders is a risky proposition - expect that you'll take the blame if anything happens to Lyttle Annoynce.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 12, 2012
Still, being a duh changes a man alot. They still get woken up by the shrieking, get puked and shit on and if the moo goes post partum mental duh has to take over, and of course he is the perpetual wallet. A lot of even hands-off duhs look worn out, often because of the moo and her nagging. And then the noogie stops. If guys don't see this trainwreck in other guys who have bred then that is on them. They should be very afraid. By the time the brats are teens they are totally brainwashed and recall no other life so they let the brats walk all over what is left of them.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not?
March 12, 2012
Hi Kim! Glad to see you back again. :hello

I've seen instances of a lot of guys who are indifferent - basically if wifey wants kids, then okay. If not, that's okay too. You'd think a person would be less wishy-washy over such a huge decision, but as people have already said, men don't really have to do any of the work involved in raising a kid they help make. So why should they care if a kid comes along, just as long as the pussy is supplied at a steady rate.

If I were a man, I would be too scared to have sex unless I had a vasectomy. A lot of guys don't understand that many women want to be pregnant or don't care if they are (but will still keep it) and they sure as fuck don't care what he wants. They'll just go ahead and help themselves to his sperm and if he doesn't want a kid...well, too bad. Moo's word is law. And this doesn't just apply to the occasional one-night stand (which, if you're a dude, I would advocate strongly not telling the woman your real name as added birth control)...some women will gladly betray their boyfriend's or husband's trust and have a kid, even if he's specifically said he doesn't want one, or doesn't want one right now. It's sickening.

Personally, I only know two genuinely CF men, though one is dating a breeder (but I don't think he ever has to see her kids). Some of my guy friends have no kids, I'm guessing either due to not wanting them right now or maybe being infertile (my ex who fucks everyone with no protection and has not knocked anyone up). A couple do have kids.

And I will never understand why, if someone wants kids so fucking bad and their partner does not, why not go find someone who shares your choices? There are plenty of single men and women out there who want to breed. Nope, instead they're gonna just giggle and roll their eyes at the boyfriend or girlfriend that says, "I don't want kids" and then act all butt-hurt when, five years and a marriage later, that BF/GF is still serious and has sterilization scheduled. Wanna-breeders are so lazy that they can't even be arsed to go find a fellow wanna-breeder - they'll "settle" for a CFer and do their best to get a kid out of them. Men are at greater risk because they aren't carrying the loaf, whereas an oopsed woman can abort.

Gotta love our society.
Too many people are stupid and lazy and just go along with whatever someone else tells them. Of course, there are a minority of smart people who do think for themselves. As a woman, I would never date a breeder or wannabe breeder because of all the baggage. If I was a man I would be way too scared to even have sex until I get a vasectomy (which is easier sterilization for men to get than women). Men don't have to do the cuntwork that comes with kids so it figures that they are more indecisive or don't care about breeding or not. Most men can get out of all the work and even brat support sometimes. Honestly, I don't blame men anyways. Moos get all the free benefits, worshipped for being a "martyr", get all the say over the kids, and get far more rights to their kids than fathers do. However, its oopsing women like the breedercunt quote in the first page that give all women a bad name as she brings her situation on herself then bitches about having to do all the work. Maybe she should have gotten off her lazy ass and actually breed with someone who shares her same "values". You shouldn't have a right to oopsie someone because you'll be doing all the work "anyway". Breeders are all fucked up in the head at least a little bit because someone would need to be insane to pick brat over adult partner.
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