So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 10, 2012 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,199 |
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Please understand that this need and want for your boyfriend to have children will never go away. If he wants to break up even though it has only been five months of you two dating, I think it is wise to let him go. You will never be happy with this major issue standing between you. Take it from me......it took 16 years for me to see that the issue of having children will never go away, and it will break you up sooner or later. Don't waste so many years of your life just because something feels good right now. Your life goals do not match your boyfriend's. The relationship is not going to work out, no matter how much you want to be valued for who you are as a person. It just won't be enough to sustain the relationship.
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Vile Female
Little does he know, I plan to have as many as I think I can handle. I don't advocate tricking your husband, but ultimately the mother bears the brunt of parenthood (so we should have the final say) and I know I would resent him forever if I didn't have as many children as I wanted to have
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 10, 2012 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 842 |
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 10, 2012 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,367 |
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 10, 2012 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,975 |
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cfbitchfromla
Why do these fencesitters have to make things so fucking complicated? If there is one thing that just pisses me the fuck off it is indecision. Godess damn it, make a fucking decision and grow up! If you don't want kids, get snipped (this goes for EITHER sex) and stop being so fucking dramatic about it.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 10, 2012 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 492 |
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bell_flower
If you've landed on this site through desperate Googling about your plight, there are a few things you should know about this place before you get your feelings hurt.
First of all, this board is comprised of independent thinkers. We have minimal moderation here. People are free to insult each other and they may even insult YOU if they think you are about to do something stupid.
There are many places on the web where you'll get "support" for your situation. You'll be told to "compromise" and work things out for the sake of love. This isn't one of those places, because, seriously? Compromise is fine when you and your S.O. are deciding where to eat, but when you are contemplating about bringing another human life into this world as a balm to your relationship issue, that's not compromise---that's pure selfishness and insanity.
Hang around any CF venue and this subject invariably comes up. Many of us have Been There, Done That, and we hate to break it to you, but if your spouse or S.O. sincerely desires kids and you do not, this isn't going to end well. Maybe not today, or next week, but you are headed for relationship disaster. If you are female, your man is probably content to Keep The Pussy Coming until he lines up a replacement. Wander over to the Bella forums and read these sad tales of woe . Listen to Cassie, who was dumped by her husband of 16 years over this issue. This issue had raised its ugly head for years and her husband was willing to stay until suddenly, he was not. They even endured the pain of marriage counseling while, unbeknownst to her, the replacement woman/broodmare was waiting in the wings. The whore he was cheating with immediately moved into Cassie's home after she left. Although Cassie has CL leanings, she tells it like it is. Don't let this happen to you:Quote
Please understand that this need and want for your boyfriend to have children will never go away. If he wants to break up even though it has only been five months of you two dating, I think it is wise to let him go. You will never be happy with this major issue standing between you. Take it from me......it took 16 years for me to see that the issue of having children will never go away, and it will break you up sooner or later. Don't waste so many years of your life just because something feels good right now. Your life goals do not match your boyfriend's. The relationship is not going to work out, no matter how much you want to be valued for who you are as a person. It just won't be enough to sustain the relationship.
If you're a man, you need to stop sleeping with this woman until you get sterilized, period. Don't think oopsing could happen to you because you have "trust" in your relationship? You need to educate yourself about how many women think. Google "I want kids and my husband (or boyfriend) does not" or have a look at this thread. Take a look at comment numero Uno, emphasis mine:Quote
Vile Female
Little does he know, I plan to have as many as I think I can handle. I don’t advocate tricking your husband, but ultimately the mother bears the brunt of parenthood (so we should have the final say) and I know I would resent him forever if I didn’t have as many children as I wanted to have
Nice, huh? She doesn't advocate tricking her husband, unless his reproductive plans differ from hers, in which case, she is fully justified. Take it from me, a woman, when I say, THERE ARE A LOT OF WOMEN WHO FEEL THIS WAY, and to them, the ends justify the means. If she were a man, this would be called domination and trickery and worse, but many in our society merely chuckle over the reluctant man who must be coaxed into fatherhood but he'll Love It After It Gets HereTM.
So men, if you post here looking for support, you will be likely advised to get sterilized or stop having sex with your woman. And please don't get all butthurt that some of our members are regarding your precious girlfriend as a potential Oopser, Pill-forgetter or birth control sabateur.
We'd like to tell you that the world is full of strong people who know what they want and act accordingly. If they want kids and their partner does not, they do the kindest thing for all. They break up and move on, thereby freeing both people to find a more suitable partner. They do not sabotage the birth control or stay and tear each other apart with resentment. Anyone who thinks an unwilling parent makes a good parent is fucked in the head, period. You don't want to be around people like that. A rational person wants someone they love to be HAPPY. If they love you and they KNOW parenthood would make you miserable, they wouldn't want you to experience that. They are big enough to walk out the door and they do it with minimal drama. Only a loser will stay around and whine at you and make you feel as if it's your fault that you won't change your basic nature FOR THEM.
See the difference?
My advice will always be: get sterilized. Particularly if you are single. Yes, I know it requires surgery. Boo-hoo.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 10, 2012 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 492 |
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 10, 2012 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,196 |
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 10, 2012 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 842 |
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 11, 2012 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 11, 2012 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,231 |
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 11, 2012 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 2,218 |
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blackpearl
Maybe it's just me, i'm reading also other CF forums but it seems there is an epidemic of male wannabreeds.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 11, 2012 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,231 |
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Ketchup
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blackpearl
Maybe it's just me, i'm reading also other CF forums but it seems there is an epidemic of male wannabreeds.
I think it's both genders, but it does seem that the baybee raybees is more prevalent in men than ever before.
I think it's interesting that women outnumber men by at least 4:1 in CF communities online. I often wonder how reflective this is of the world in general. Also, it seems like a lot of CF men are only CF because their wives are.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 11, 2012 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 2,218 |
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 11, 2012 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 11, 2012 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 492 |
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blackpearl
Maybe it's just me, i'm reading also other CF forums but it seems there is an epidemic of male wannabreeds.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 11, 2012 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 5,443 |
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lar19
He asked if we felt this way and my friend (a female) said, "I never expected to be a dad."
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 12, 2012 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 1,979 |
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yurble
Men who are strongly CF tend to be in the minority--just like men who strongly want children are not the majority of people who strongly want children. Children affect women more, so there are more women with strong feelings on the subject.
That doesn't mean that there can't be men with strong feelings on the subject, though. I'm not going to presume that whenever men have a feeling about having children that they're just being immature and don't really mean it--that's how breeders think.
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 12, 2012 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 12,447 |
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LoveToLurk
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yurble
Men who are strongly CF tend to be in the minority--just like men who strongly want children are not the majority of people who strongly want children. Children affect women more, so there are more women with strong feelings on the subject.
That doesn't mean that there can't be men with strong feelings on the subject, though. I'm not going to presume that whenever men have a feeling about having children that they're just being immature and don't really mean it--that's how breeders think.
Women realize that society expects them to happily do the majority of the cuntwork, while men are still mostly free to do nothing more that swoop in when it's time for the Kodak moments. This is why most people don't bat an eye when a man says "I have to babysit my kids this weekend."
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 12, 2012 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,434 |
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 12, 2012 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,975 |
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 12, 2012 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,973 |
Kelli
Re: So, You Want To Have Kids And He/She Does Not? March 14, 2012 |