| | Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 22, 2012
| Registered: 4 years ago
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In this instance, the adamantly CF guy is being an idiot. He thinks a prenup is going to protect him from his on-the-fence fiance settling her mind on kids? As many people wrote in the comments section, it's not that easy to sign away responsibilities toward a potential child, even if the fiance goes along with it. If he's as solid in his decision as he states (fiance seems to think he might change his mind - wonder where she got that idea?) he should just tranq up, lay down, and get snipped. That's going to settle the issue. Quote
Q. Prenup Dispute: My boyfriend and I recently became engaged and are, for the most part, happy and excited to be married, except for a disagreement over prenups. My fiancé has always been adamant about never wanting to have children, and he is insisting that I sign prenuptials basically saying that, if I ever become pregnant, he can divorce me and keep everything, and pay no child support whatsoever. I am undecided about whether I would like children, and it seems possible that my fiancé could change his mind when he is older. I am worried about possible future implications of this agreement, and also think this shows a lack of trust and an unwillingness to compromise on my fiancé's part. He is being very stubborn about this, though, and says he won't get married unless I sign the agreement. I love this man and really want to spend the rest of my life with him, but an agreement this severe just makes me nervous. What should I do?
A: You want to spend the rest of your life with a man, who upon finding you were carrying his child, would propose to do his best to leave with you and your offspring with nothing. You are also hoping that your soul mate, who from your description is rigid, punitive, and controlling, will soften up with time—and even respond favorably if you feel a longing to be a mother. No one should sign the kind of legal document you describe without having your own lawyer vet it first. I would be very surprised if a contract that waives a father's potential financial responsibility to a yet-unconceived child would even be enforceable if a child is born. Unless you are as certain as your fiancé (who should probably get a vasectomy) that you wish to remain childless, you are setting yourself up for the heartbreak of remaining in a marriage that thwarts your desire for children, or having to leave it as your biological clock runs out. A prenuptial agreement that protects existing assets in case a marriage fails is one thing. Committing to someone who wants you to sign a document agreeing you and your child should be cast aside is another.
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 22, 2012
| Registered: 2 years ago
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These people need to part ways. He is clearly CF and absolutely should get fixed. She clearly wants kids. She is 'not' undecided - it's perfectly clear. She even mentions him 'possibly changing his mind'. I also disagree with Prudie's assessment of him being 'rigid, punitive, and controlling'. Uh, no - he just doesn't want kids. He absolutely NEEDS to get a vasectomy! You can't fashion one out of a legal document. And then these two need to split up. She *clearly* wants kids. "Undecided" my ass. If she didn't want kids she'd sign the thing. And / or insist on one or both of them getting fixed. If he was fixed - I'd bet she'd leave him. This is an Ooops! waiting to happen.
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 22, 2012
| Registered: 2 years ago
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She clearly has identified him as a prospective wallet and probably has her oops all planned out. (I say that in the assumption that people with little earning power and few assets probably don't spend money on pre-nup contracts.) The letter is so disingenuous I almost hope it's a fake.
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 22, 2012
| Registered: 1 year ago
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Yeah, he's clearly CF but is going about this all wrong. (Though I do wonder what he said/did that gave her that glimmer of hope that he might change his mind?) He needs to let her know his position, schedule an appointment with a urologist (and leave out the info about the fiance during the consultation, or he might get turned down), and go on with his life. If she is really okay with them not having kids together, she'll be okay with him being snipped. I hope they're using condoms, because even if she's not actually out to oops him she simply may not be as rigorous about her birth control. She doesn't seem opposed to parenthood, after all. This type of situation is why we need a male birth control pill, or a reversible vas implant, or something. Guys need to be able to protect themselves better.
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 22, 2012
| Registered: 1 year ago
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what a trainwreck. this guy needs to run, and fast. also the snipping is a very good idea... in this sort of instance guys DO get the short end of the stick.
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 22, 2012
| Registered: 1 year ago
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run, guy, run you fool, toward the glistening sunset! has this guy ever heard about vasectomy? why is he so stupid! she clearly wants children you moron! gaaahhh!!
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| Registered: 4 years ago
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If she signed the prenup, and then he did, indeed, change his mind, and decided that her wanted children, then she wouldn't have a problem. The problem is that she KNOWS he won't change his mind, and wants to trap him. So obvious. The guy must know this, on some level, hence the prenup. These two definitely shouldn't be walking down the aisle together.
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| Registered: 2 years ago
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"I am undecided about whether I would like children," THESE TWO SHOULD NOT MARRY!!!!!!
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| Registered: 5 years ago
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Quote
randomcfchick
This type of situation is why we need a male birth control pill, or a reversible vas implant, or something. Guys need to be able to protect themselves better.
There have been hormonal birth control methods for males invented, and they are very effective from what i recall reading. But not enough men are willing to take it in order to make its production worthwhile for the manufacturer. Men for the most part feel that birth control is the woman's responsibility, since she is the one who suffers the consequences physically. Also, there are side effects with the male birth control pills just like there are with thefemale pills, and of course most men ( especially the ones with big egos and small dicks) don't want to deal with that either. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- "I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| Registered: 1 year ago
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I have to say, that perhaps these two aren't very well suited to one another. And as we have seen that some breeder-brained women are not only ok with forcing a child on someone, they encourage it. This man may be making the biggest mistake of his life by marrying this woman. However.. I do believe that a prenup can exempt him from fatherly responsibilities if she does decide to oops him. There are actually court documents that exist for this very reason because the court (gasp!) knows that some women will oops men into fatherhood. This being the case, I still think he should get a vasectomy, unless he plans on either changing his mind (it can happen), or being forced into fatherhood against his will. Pick or choose, the lady wants a baby and you've got the seed.. Oopsing material indeed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The title of "good parent" doesnt come freely from me. If you choose to dabble in creating new life, then my opinions of your actions will be harsher and my praise will be harder to elicit. It's a tradeoff. If you are foolhardy and shortsighted enough to try your hand at playing God, you best be willing to live up to the expectations that come with such a station. Hopefully you'll find SOME relief in your contention, as I have yet to see a generation who has... Godspeed, Catharsist When I read this quote from FB: "U know the Devil is soooooooool busy! Hes trying evrything he can to spread his NASTINESS...... but u know what i say......HOLYGHOST FIRE!!!! IN JESUS NAME AMEN." I LOL every time.
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| Registered: 4 years ago
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Quote
gymrat
If she signed the prenup, and then he did, indeed, change his mind, and decided that her wanted children, then she wouldn't have a problem. The problem is that she KNOWS he won't change his mind, and wants to trap him. So obvious. The guy must know this, on some level, hence the prenup. These two definitely shouldn't be walking down the aisle together.
I was doing some poking around, looking for a source that didn't explain everything in excruciating boiler plate language. I found this which seems to say that the guy is a doofus if he thinks a court will uphold his demands should his fiance oops him. For one, there's coercion: "He is being very stubborn about this, though, and says he won't get married unless I sign the agreement."Another is that a prenup cannot dictate child support: Quote
Child support cannot be limited pursuant to a prenuptial agreement. In some states, child-support provisions will be upheld as long as the support is not less than the statutory guidelines. In other states and in Canada, provisions regarding child support are invalid. Anything limiting child support to less than statutory amounts cannot be enforced. Child support is governed by state guidelines in all 50 states.
Lastly, "the prenuptial agreement cannot be unconscionable." I'm betting that he would have a hard time finding a court that would rule he has the right to forbid his wife from having kids. That would be as unconscionable as him justifying his actions in forcing her to have kids. This guy sounds like someone who, if he is adamantly CF, is too much of a wuss just to get a snip and be done with it. He thinks a piece of paper is going to assure his stance. I'm afraid I see kids in this idiot's future.
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| Registered: 2 years ago
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Child support is scary, too. I looked up an estimate for what it would cost me, at my income level, for one kid. It came to something like 1200 dollars a month. My snip ended up costing me more than I thought it would (4600 dollars all told... thank to my former company for the shitty, bottom of the barrel insurance) BUT it is STILL a cheap price to pay, because that is only four months brat tax. I'll take it.
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| Registered: 2 years ago
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Maybe he did get the snip and didn't tell her as further insurance. The prenup could be to prepare himself for the possibility that she gets knocked up, he shows his vasectomy papers, and she still tries to sue him for child support because courts have the precedent that even somebody proved to NOT be the biological father (even when the child was conceived from adultery on the part of the mother) can still be forced to pony up the dough. You can't be too careful nowadays.
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| Registered: 2 years ago
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A topic related to this support issue is that as a child-free person: If you enter into a common-law ( 6 mths -3 years) or marriage relationship with a breeder and there is a child involved (obviously- not yours) you personally can be held 'joint and several' legally responsible for the child support, up to and including all of your assets and income. In our breederific culture- child support trumps almost everything. This guy can not sign away that obligation. "Run dude- and then get snipped !"
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| Registered: 1 year ago
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Quote
SlumSlut
Quote
randomcfchick
This type of situation is why we need a male birth control pill, or a reversible vas implant, or something. Guys need to be able to protect themselves better.
There have been hormonal birth control methods for males invented, and they are very effective from what i recall reading. But not enough men are willing to take it in order to make its production worthwhile for the manufacturer. Men for the most part feel that birth control is the woman's responsibility, since she is the one who suffers the consequences physically. Also, there are side effects with the male birth control pills just like there are with thefemale pills, and of course most men ( especially the ones with big egos and small dicks) don't want to deal with that either.
Last I read there were some that were just about ready for the market, but then I never saw mention of 'em again. Guess I was reading the wrong sources. How sad that there's not enough demand. I think it would be perfect for young, single, and/or CF guys. Enough decades of women being in charge of BC has drilled it into a lot of guys' heads, I guess. Or they are content with condoms alone. Either way, sad indeed.
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| Registered: 2 years ago
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You'd think the college age guys would jump all over male birth control. They're the ones who want to have one night stands and generally fuck everything that moves, aren't they?
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| Registered: 5 years ago
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Quote
randomcfchick
Quote
SlumSlut
Quote
randomcfchick
This type of situation is why we need a male birth control pill, or a reversible vas implant, or something. Guys need to be able to protect themselves better.
There have been hormonal birth control methods for males invented, and they are very effective from what i recall reading. But not enough men are willing to take it in order to make its production worthwhile for the manufacturer. Men for the most part feel that birth control is the woman's responsibility, since she is the one who suffers the consequences physically. Also, there are side effects with the male birth control pills just like there are with thefemale pills, and of course most men ( especially the ones with big egos and small dicks) don't want to deal with that either.
Last I read there were some that were just about ready for the market, but then I never saw mention of 'em again. Guess I was reading the wrong sources. How sad that there's not enough demand. I think it would be perfect for young, single, and/or CF guys. Enough decades of women being in charge of BC has drilled it into a lot of guys' heads, I guess. Or they are content with condoms alone. Either way, sad indeed.
Yes, that is pretty much as far as it got - "ready for the market". In other words, clinical trials done, FDA approval (in the US), but consumer demand and profitability margin determined to not be viable for marketability. I suspect it was something as simple as "a certain number of men in blah age group/demographic were asked if this product became available, would you use it" and like 95% of them said "no". That is my tl;dr version; I suspect there may have been more degrees of freedom in the actual studies, but you get the picture. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- "I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| Registered: 5 years ago
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Quote
marco polo
You'd think the college age guys would jump all over male birth control. They're the ones who want to have one night stands and generally fuck everything that moves, aren't they?
But not if it involves taking a pill that messes with your manhood. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- "I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"
lenona
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| |
Quote
randomcfchick
Last I read there were some that were just about ready for the market, but then I never saw mention of 'em again. Guess I was reading the wrong sources. How sad that there's not enough demand. I think it would be perfect for young, single, and/or CF guys. Enough decades of women being in charge of BC has drilled it into a lot of guys' heads, I guess. Or they are content with condoms alone. Either way, sad indeed.
Except that until something is invented for men that guards against STDs as well as a condom does, single men, especially, will stay under pressure to use condoms. How many men are going to use TWO male methods at once? So, the main buyers will be men in monogamous relationships (especially if the women BEG them to use the new methods, usually as back-ups to their own BC) and male celebrities, who may or may not already be using condoms. But again, are there enough willing men to make it a profitable market?
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| Registered: 2 years ago
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One has to ask...why would he, who apparently is adamantly CF want to stay with some bint who is clearly blinded by baby rabies? I know why she is staying, like most I am betting he has money and she plans the big OOPS, likely on their honeymoon. But why would a guy with money stay....not like he can't find replacement poon at the drop of a hat. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| Registered: 2 years ago
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Quote
navi8orgirl
One has to ask...why would he, who apparently is adamantly CF want to stay with some bint who is clearly blinded by baby rabies?
A large number of guys do completely ridiculous things... just to keep the poon train coming in their trainwreck relationships.
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| Registered: 2 years ago
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If he has money enough to worry about a prenup, then he has enough to attract new poon. Maybe poon that doesn't want to look like the inside of a car wash, even..... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| Registered: 2 years ago
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Many people are not very logical- especially when it comes to relationships. (Look up intellectual quotient vs emotional quotient)
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| Registered: 1 year ago
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He probably has alot of money and assets so thats why the braindead vagina is staying with him despite the kid issue. Which for wombans is not an issue since they think their entitled to a man's seed regardless of what he wants. Afterall, breeder women don't care about anything except their own selfish desires. What a sad world we live in.
Re: Dear Prudie - Dude, a snip is cheaper than a lawyer
May 23, 2012
| Registered: 4 years ago
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still think the classic (and it should be part of the epic tales) was the guy who did have the snip, was going out with some woman who did the 'oops' routine. It most definately was NOT his, but she did not want to hear it until she was presented with letters from two doctors and a lawyer. That took the wind out of her sails. two cents ¢¢ CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!
people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children
and I defy anyone to prove me wrong:
The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.
If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet I'll put shoes on my pets.
Mankind and its needs (wants) are like unto a black hole. It devours all available resources and it never is full: it merely grows larger and demands more.
Definition of 'wealthy': Anyone who makes more/has more than you do.
Someone pointed out that I'm a realist. And all along I thought I was just a pessimist crossed with a cynic.
Entitlement, thy name is mooooooooooooooo
"Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove
they are insured... but not everyone must prove they are a citizen.
Add to this that, many of those who refuse or are unable to prove they are
citizens, will receive free insurance paid for by those who are.""
Politicians are like diapers: both need changing regularly.
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