CF men who've had vasectomies - how hard was it to get?

By which I mean, how hard (or easy) was it for you to find a urologist willing to do the surgery without you already having children? My husband wants the snip (YAY!), and he'd like to have it done by Spring next year. We went to PP, and while they do men's health exams, they don't actually do the procedure, and simply gave us a list of local urologist who perform it. At any rate, we want to do something permanent to ensure I won't get knocked up, and so I can get off hormonal BC at some point.

I'd be more than willing to do Essure or have a tubal, but my husband insists on being the one to have the permanent procedure, as it's less costly for the fellas and with less recovery time. He's also concerned that Essure and tubal might have side-effects for me (which is a possibility, but a risk I'd personally be willing to take). I'm sure that as a male, he'll be taken more seriously about his choice than I would as a female (sad but true). A PP in my state does perform the Essure procedure, and PP does tend to be CF-friendly for the most part (in my experience, they always say "if" you want children rather than "when," which is nice). So if we have a hard time getting the snip for him, it's a fallback option for me since PP tends to respect women more than private ob/gyn doctors who profit from womben having baybeez.

So the decision is pretty much that he'll get the snip, and he wants it done by early Spring next year. Sorry for rambling, but I want to get the guys' take on how it was to be a CF male trying to get the procedure done. Did they give you a hard time? Did you have to go through a bunch of doctors before finding a willing one? Is it really easier for the guys to be permanently sterilized than it is for women?

heh heh heh HARD heh heh heh

" to find a urologist willing to do the surgery without you already having children?"

ok seriously- IT WAS FCKING EASY. the only reason I STILL haven't had it done is my insurance changed, and the new one wouldn't fucking pay for it. I still want to get it done sometime, though.

"Did they give you a hard time?"

heh heh heh! YOU'RE MAKING MY DIRTY REFERENCES TOO EASY.

" Is it really easier for the guys to be permanently sterilized than it is for women?"

does the pope wear a hat that makes him look like a cross between a medieval-era executioner and a KKKlansman? YES.

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cosmictraveler
We went to PP, and while they do men's health exams, they don't actually do the procedure, and simply gave us a list of local urologist who perform it.

That's interesting. My Dh did have his done at PP, though that was in the 80s.

Did you ask anyone at PP about the willingness of those listed to do the procedure on a CF male? I mean, "going from 1-10, which one will give us the least hassle?"

Dh didn't have any issues, but he was 35. Dunno if age is considered a factor. He was told "this is permanent, you do know that?" When he nodded yes, it was basically "sign here and drop yer drawers."

More responses would be welcome. Comparing them with the comments on the same general area posted in the old Bratfree a few years back would be interesting. As I recall, some said then that they (if a guy) or their boyfriends/husbands caught the same kinds of pronatal flak from doctors as women do, with some doctors refusing to perform vasectomies until the man was age X with Y number of children—much as has happened to women. By far, though, it appeared that most doctors copped the worst attitudes when childfree women requested sterilization.

Another issue that popped up then was that doctors had wanted a spouse's permission before performing sterilization. Seems to me that the cases involved had happened some years before. The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) is supposed to have ended that as it contains no spousal exemptions to medical privacy, but some breeder-centered doctors might well be trying to play the spousal permission card even today.

So we'll wait and see, and compare...

My husband had no problems and no bingos. He got a referral to a urologist, went for one appointment and had the procedure the next month.

Your husband sounds like a sweetheart! I came Essure'd to my husband, but he did say if for some reason it failed, he'd get the snip as I was getting my abortion.

I have had no side effects from Essure, I noticed my libido picked up, but that's probably more psychological than anything because I know I had an insanely low chance of getting pregnant. I've since had a hysterectomy and am loving sex and life again.

I did ask my husband if he would have been willing to get the snip if I didn't have my tubes tied/Essure'd, without hesitation he said "yes, absolutely, we don't want kids, pregnancy would likely be very risky for you, so yes, I'd get the snip, if we changed our minds, there are tons of older kids without home out there!"

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What is a home without children? Quiet. ~Henny Youngman

I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ~George Balanchine

"I took the batteries out of my biological clock and put them in my vibrator"

My husband saw the urologist this week and has his vasectomy scheduled for four weeks from now. And it's only taking that long because the doctor is super busy. From my understanding, getting the referral from his GP was easy, and the doctor was more interested in my husband being a good candidate for the procedure than why he wanted the procedure. I got more slightly more flak from the gynecologist but that's because the old coot wasn't paying attention to what I was saying (No I don't want to use hormonal birth control, I like having a sex drive.Since my IUD is at the end of its life span, let's just cut to the chase and snip those tubes).

He's getting the vasectomy instead of me getting a tubal for about the same reason your husband is insisting on: potential side effects of surgery, complications and recovery times for me.

We actually went through PP for my husband's snip. They did the exam at the nearby clinic, but had to send him to another branch in a different part of town...guess that's where they do all their surgical stuff. I'd be willing to hope, though, that any urologists they associate with/refer people to might be less bingo-prone.

They were totally respectful and professional with both of us, basically just asking, "You know this is permanent, right?" and when we answered, "Yeah, that's the main point.", they immediately booked an appointment for the following Friday. I commented to the gal on the phone how impressed I was with the level of respect, and she said, "We're in the business of helping people NOT get pregnant, so we figure that's what you're here for."

I guess that there are always exceptions to all circumstances but I have not heard of any guy not being able to find a doctor to do the procedure. The most that doctors ask is: "How would you like to pay for this" and "When would you like to have it done".

Some doctors do it on the same day of initial consultation, some wait, depends on their schedule.

Here is a directory, just choose your state:

Find by State

Start by calling the office and asking if they offer the procedure. Not all doctors do it. Many do. Once you find the office that does do it, ask them what are the requirements that they impose. If all is well, schedule a consultation. At that point doctor will determine if the patient is suitable for the procedure. Some doctors will do it the same day, most will reschedule.

Guys generally do not get hassled like women do. Say what you will, but most of the time that men seek reversals is because of a pressure from a woman. Aside from that, it is rare that a guy "will change his mind". Most doctors know and understand that and have little fear doing the procedure and later have the dude come back and sue.

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Dorisan
Dh didn't have any issues, but he was 35. Dunno if age is considered a factor. He was told "this is permanent, you do know that?" When he nodded yes, it was basically "sign here and drop yer drawers."

dunno either- but I'm almost 40. single now, single months ago when I had a consult.

A $50 co-pay and I was set up with an appointment within 5 minutes. After setting the appointment, I went and talked to the doctor who would be performing the operation. He was a young guy, courteous and skilled in his duties. The day of the operation came and went. I had ice on my crotch for a solid two days. There was some minor pain and swelling (my gf kept humorously remarking that I was carrying a change purse between my legs) but over the course of a few days it was if it never happened. After giving them a sample of my discharge, they confirmed that I was shooting blanks. Happiest moment of my life.

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Parenthood is for the birds. Seriously, they're just better at it than I would be.

My 19 year old cousin had no issues getting the snip.

I got through easy compared to my GF and her tubal ligation, I just had to acknowledge that it was permanent and sign a waiver, she got read the Riot Act by a pro-breeder gyno before signing a waiver.

I got mine at age 32 a few months before I got married. I told the doctor why I wanted one and he didn't bingo me at all. He did say that I should look at it as if it were permanent, even though the technology to reverse a vasectomy has gotten better over the years. It was something like "look at it as a permanent decision, even though it isn't." I told him I knew that and still wanted it, so he scheduled me for about a week later since that was his soonest opening.

There was minimal pain and I did take a week off from work for it. I just said I was having a minor surgery and they were OK with it. I work in a place with a very flexible medical leave policy. I could have gone back to work a couple of days later, but I just took advantage of the time off.

For me, it was easy to get. Best decision I ever made.

JD

Thanks to everyone who responded, and I'm glad it was so easy for everyone who's had or is going to have the procedure! It's reassuring to me to know that most of you weren't given a hard time.

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cosmictraveler
Thanks to everyone who responded, and I'm glad it was so easy for everyone who's had or is going to have the procedure! It's reassuring to me to know that most of you weren't given a hard time.

Most of the time, there are no problems, bingos or "you will change your mind" statements for guys. I think that more CF couples are now opting for a vasectomy over a tubal simply because how much easier it is to find a doctor to perform a vasectomy on a CF man than to find a doctor to perform tubal ligation on a CF woman.

For one reason or another, doctors are still practicing gender biased inequality. Could also be the complexity of the procedure, risk of internal infection, so on. They do have to "dig deeper" to perform tubal ligation. A whole lot has to go wrong during a vasectomy before a patient's life is endangered. During tubal ligation there is anastesia as well as certain internal organs are exposes to the air. Infection in those areas can be deadly. A whole lot less has to go wrong during a tubal ligation where it could kill the patient. Maybe some doctors try to look at it all from risk based point of view.

I didn't have any trouble at all. My doctor referred me to a urologist, an appointment was made, and then I got snipped.

Just make sure your insurance is in place and will actually pay for things. Mine screwed me over and I had to pay a LOT more than I planned - about 4500 dollars. My company provided only bottom-of-the-barrel medical insurance, but I guess it was better than nothing.

However, at the end of the day I'm fine with paying that much. It's still a LOT cheaper than having a kid!

Tony had his snip when he was single and had no problems. He told the doc he did not want any brats and the doc said okay.

Women have a tougher time in many cases because of sexism and moo-ternal obsessions from the OB/GYNs--especially the female ones.

Anyone looking for a good tubal/Essure doc--check the Essure website. They did have a listing of physicians who were trained to do the procedure, but not sure if it is still there. If not, go directly to Planned Parenthood and ask for a referral to a good non-judgmental doc.

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marco polo
I didn't have any trouble at all. My doctor referred me to a urologist, an appointment was made, and then I got snipped.

Just make sure your insurance is in place and will actually pay for things. Mine screwed me over and I had to pay a LOT more than I planned - about 4500 dollars. My company provided only bottom-of-the-barrel medical insurance, but I guess it was better than nothing.

However, at the end of the day I'm fine with paying that much. It's still a LOT cheaper than having a kid!

Yes Sir, way cheaper. I think US Dept of Agriculture has estimated cost of raising a kid at about $180,000, that is from 0 to 18 and did not include the costs of higher education.

Now, if you are pressed for cash, you could call the doctor/hospital billing department, explain the insurance situation, explain that you are now paying out of pocket and ask them if there is anything at all they can do to make this amount a bit more manageable. Also, while you are at it, call around other offices and ask them how much would a procedure like that cost, if you were paying yourself. That way you will have an idea. I have seen people cut their medical bill by almost a half, just by asking and talking to health care providers.

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Techie
For one reason or another, doctors are still practicing gender biased inequality. Could also be the complexity of the procedure, risk of internal infection, so on. They do have to "dig deeper" to perform tubal ligation. A whole lot has to go wrong during a vasectomy before a patient's life is endangered. During tubal ligation there is anastesia as well as certain internal organs are exposes to the air. Infection in those areas can be deadly. A whole lot less has to go wrong during a tubal ligation where it could kill the patient. Maybe some doctors try to look at it all from risk based point of view.

also, maybe gynos are more likely to be breedery than urologists, for whatever reason?

" I think US Dept of Agriculture has estimated cost of raising a kid at about $180,000,"

I heard it's over 200 grand!

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kman
Another issue that popped up then was that doctors had wanted a spouse's permission before performing sterilization. Seems to me that the cases involved had happened some years before. The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) is supposed to have ended that as it contains no spousal exemptions to medical privacy, but some breeder-centered doctors might well be trying to play the spousal permission card even today.

Maybe the doctors are afraid of being sued by the spouses? Wouldn't surprise me.

I suspect the V may be easier to get now because though it should be viewed as permanent, it has a more successful reversal rate which equals less liability for the docs.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.

Super-Easy.

I was almost 30 when I did it and I explained that I never produced any offspring because I'm not parent material.

After a sentence or two along those lines, the exam was over and the proceedure was scheduled. The doctor must have heard this before.

The cost with insurance was $90-some, IIRC. Best most I ever spent, if I may say so. And I earned the Golden Snip award, too! Woot!

I had read somewhere that it's harder for women to get the fix because they are more likely to have second thoughts (second emotions after some mental breakdown?) and then sue the doctor. Not sure if that is true or not.

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Snark Shark
I heard it's over 200 grand!

Try a cool quarter-mill, dude. Or more, maybe even north of $300k.