Children's Book 2: The Night Dad Went to Jail

Here's a book that the reviews are probably a better read than the book (I haven't actually read this book).

The Night Dad Went to Jail; What to Expect When Someone You Love Goes to Jail

The reviews

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I walk the path of life to my own rhythm, my own beat-if you don't like it, step off and find your own damn song!

"This Book has really helped my sons LaMichael And Dontarius through a difficult time. This book explained to my 5 year old and 3 year old where exactly their father was going. My Boyfriend of 6 years is doing a 15 year bid for Distribution and Trafficking of a controlled substance and pergy. They said my baby daddy lied under oath. Now my sons know where they are going once a month when they see their father and why he can't come back home or take them to Pappadeux after church anymore. I hope more people read this book so their sons won't be confused about what jail is. I hope they can forget about this awful experience and I hope I can find them a new daddy child support is a no go now that Houston (My baby daddy) Is locked up. One thing I didn't like about the book was that the characters were rabbits now my sons think that zoo animals are at the jail and ask to see the animals every time they visit."larious


That has GOT to be a troll review.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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kidlesskim
"This Book has really helped my sons LaMichael And Dontarius through a difficult time. This book explained to my 5 year old and 3 year old where exactly their father was going. My Boyfriend of 6 years is doing a 15 year bid for Distribution and Trafficking of a controlled substance and pergy. They said my baby daddy lied under oath. Now my sons know where they are going once a month when they see their father and why he can't come back home or take them to Pappadeux after church anymore. I hope more people read this book so their sons won't be confused about what jail is. I hope they can forget about this awful experience and I hope I can find them a new daddy child support is a no go now that Houston (My baby daddy) Is locked up. One thing I didn't like about the book was that the characters were rabbits now my sons think that zoo animals are at the jail and ask to see the animals every time they visit."larious


That has GOT to be a troll review.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! larious I was thinking the same thing, but it's damn hilarious!

Yeah, he misspelled perjury but nailed Pappadeux. Still goddamned funny. I'm cracking up at the other "reviews".

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

another trollish but funny review

http://www.amazon.com/review/R2CCFGW8KSARKT/ref=cm_cr_dp_title?ie=UTF8&ASIN=1404866795&nodeID=283155&store=books'

Why is that welfare whore eating at Pappadeux? That place is kind of expensive. Also, those have got to be the worst names I have ever heard. I thought that whole having La or Le prefix was more of a 90's thing. I remember having classmates in elementary school with names like that. eyes2

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Idiotic Moooh1
I bought this for my children after my husband was arrested for attempting to smuggle narcotics into Australia. When we reached Sydney for our two-week vacation the drug dogs immediately smelled the cocaine residue on his belongings (and inside his lower-intestines)

larious
How come that mooh don't get that there are things we don't want to know?
Like that your husband smuggled cocaine in his rectum.

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I Hope This Is a Troll
This is as close to what I was looking for. I was hopping to find a book about "NO SNITCHING"
Seems my little Honey Bunnie took some of my boyfriends medical marijuana to his kindergarten show-and-tell.
The little stoolie even said I put the magic broccoli in cookies and brownies to make Tyrone (my boyfriend) happy.

Of course your boyfriend marijuana is medical. Riiiight
Of course, it also was were your child can take it and bring it to kindergarten.

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You really know what to teach to your child, lady...
Also, show and tell? I thought only the Peanuts did that!

I bought this book for our adopted Ethiopian son the night my life partner was arrested for grand-theft auto at a Peter Piper's Pizza in Tulsa.

I knew that one way or another we were going to have to break the news to Billy that his other daddy was going away for a while, that both of his daddies still loved him very much, and that everything was going to be okay. And this book delivered all that, but it fell short of giving Billy an accurate picture of what his daddy was going through.

Where are the stained bunk beds? The blazing fluorescent lights? Where's the creepy bunny with the missing ear carving a swastika on the wall with a plastic spoon? Where's the toilet sangria? Where's the bunny snitch that gets shanked by a member of the Aryan Brotherhood?

And about that... Bunnies? Now my kid thinks going to jail is like a trip to Mr. MacGregor's garden. If incarceration is like it is depicted in this book, sign me up! God knows my kid wants to visit now.

Thanks to the author's so-called "sensitivity to children's delicate and irreplaceable sense of innocence," I'm going to have to explain to my kid the difference between the Crips and the Bloods. I'm going to have to teach him the cigarette value of a piece of fresh fish, the dangers of Hepatitis C, and how to fashion a toilet papier-mache chess set.

She has really a good idea about what her kid needs to know, hasn't she?

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“I was talking about children that have not been properly house-trained. Left to their own impulses and indulged by doting or careless parents almost all children are yahoos. Loud, selfish, cruel, unaffectionate, jealous, perpetually striving for attention, empty-headed, for ever prating or if words fail them simply bawling, their voices grown huge from daily practice: the very worst company in the world. But what I dislike even more than the natural child is the affected child, the hulking oaf of seven or eight that skips heavily about with her hands dangling in front of her -- a little squirrel or bunny-rabbit -- and prattling away in a baby's voice.”


― Patrick O'Brian, The Truelove


lib'-er-ty: the freedom given to you to make the wrong decision, based on the reasoned belief that you will normally make the right one.

I bought this book for our adopted Ethiopian son the night my life partner was arrested for grand-theft auto at a Peter Piper's Pizza in Tulsa.

I knew that one way or another we were going to have to break the news to Billy that his other daddy was going away for a while, that both of his daddies still loved him very much, and that everything was going to be okay. And this book delivered all that, but it fell short of giving Billy an accurate picture of what his daddy was going through.

Where are the stained bunk beds? The blazing fluorescent lights? Where's the creepy bunny with the missing ear carving a swastika on the wall with a plastic spoon? Where's the toilet sangria? Where's the bunny snitch that gets shanked by a member of the Aryan Brotherhood?

And about that... Bunnies? Now my kid thinks going to jail is like a trip to Mr. MacGregor's garden. If incarceration is like it is depicted in this book, sign me up! God knows my kid wants to visit now.

Thanks to the author's so-called "sensitivity to children's delicate and irreplaceable sense of innocence," I'm going to have to explain to my kid the difference between the Crips and the Bloods. I'm going to have to teach him the cigarette value of a piece of fresh fish, the dangers of Hepatitis C, and how to fashion a toilet papier-mache chess set.[/quote]

She has really a good idea about what her kid needs to know, hasn't she?[/quote]

This has got to be a troll or a joke right?

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jessikitty
This has got to be a troll or a joke right?

I thought so too at first JK, but it is an actual book for sale on Amazon, Ebay, and some other sources, and it's also stocked in several public libraries. I think all the Amazon reviews are trolls except the Aussie-Moo. I got curious of the actual content and scanned the net and found out a little via some legitimate reviews. Apparently, a little boy named "Sketch" watches as his dad gets handcuffed, arrested, and taken off by police and the entire book, via rabbits, is an aid to helping him cope with his feelings. The only "complaint" I saw was someone said that since the book title said, "jail" and Sketch's dad gets sentenced to 6 years in "prison", it's important to explain to kids the difference if their daddys are in "jail" rather than prison, they won't be gone as long as the boy's dad in the book.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

I'm pretty sure all the reviews are trolls. Nobody with a husband in the slammer could write that well.

All of them are hilarious. And the responses are good too. "That's beautiful, thank you. " larious

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

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kidlesskim
The only "complaint" I saw was someone said that since the book title said, "jail" and Sketch's dad gets sentenced to 6 years in "prison", it's important to explain to kids the difference if their daddys are in "jail" rather than prison, they won't be gone as long as the boy's dad in the book.

Are jail and prison not the same thing in America? In England they mean the same thing.

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coco_uk

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kidlesskim
The only "complaint" I saw was someone said that since the book title said, "jail" and Sketch's dad gets sentenced to 6 years in "prison", it's important to explain to kids the difference if their daddys are in "jail" rather than prison, they won't be gone as long as the boy's dad in the book.

Are jail and prison not the same thing in America? In England they mean the same thing.

Jail is local, and prison is federal, from what I understand.

It's your hell; you rot in it!

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coco_uk

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kidlesskim
The only "complaint" I saw was someone said that since the book title said, "jail" and Sketch's dad gets sentenced to 6 years in "prison", it's important to explain to kids the difference if their daddys are in "jail" rather than prison, they won't be gone as long as the boy's dad in the book.

Are jail and prison not the same thing in America? In England they mean the same thing.

A "jail" is generally operated by the city or county and is either a short term place for incarceration for minor offenses with sentences less than one year OR it's a place where they hold defendants until they have been found guilty or are sentenced. They are also generally smaller and contained inside of police or sheriff stations and are likely minimum security, in most cases. Prisons are either operated by the state or federal government and are free standing facilities with varying degrees of security in place ranging from minimum to maximum. This is where convicted criminals serve out their sentences and they are generally stricter, more heavily guarded, and considered much more dangerous and undesirable than a jail cell.

You can actually be in a jail and only charged with a crime, yet not convicted, whereas if you are in prison you have been convicted of a crime. At least that's my understanding of it because I don't know anything about jail or prison first hand.

------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------
If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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kidlesskim

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coco_uk

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kidlesskim
The only "complaint" I saw was someone said that since the book title said, "jail" and Sketch's dad gets sentenced to 6 years in "prison", it's important to explain to kids the difference if their daddys are in "jail" rather than prison, they won't be gone as long as the boy's dad in the book.

Are jail and prison not the same thing in America? In England they mean the same thing.

A "jail" is generally operated by the city or county and is either a short term place for incarceration for minor offenses with sentences less than one year OR it's a place where they hold defendants until they have been found guilty or are sentenced. They are also generally smaller and contained inside of police or sheriff stations and are likely minimum security, in most cases. Prisons are either operated by the state or federal government and are free standing facilities with varying degrees of security in place ranging from minimum to maximum. This is where convicted criminals serve out their sentences and they are generally stricter, more heavily guarded, and considered much more dangerous and undesirable than a jail cell.

You can actually be in a jail and only charged with a crime, yet not convicted, whereas if you are in prison you have been convicted of a crime. At least that's my understanding of it because I don't know anything about jail or prison first hand.

From my experience a jail is operated by the city, a correctional center is operated by the county, and a prison is operated by the state or federal government. Where you end up depends on the crime and who prosecuted you for it.

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I walk the path of life to my own rhythm, my own beat-if you don't like it, step off and find your own damn song!

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LoveToLurk
I'm pretty sure all the reviews are trolls.

My thoughts exactly. And that other people are commenting on the reviews like they aren't, makes it even better.
larious

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Snark Shark
Book 3: Why Everybody Calls Your Mom a Crack Whore

Book 4: NONE of Those Men are Your Daddy, They're Just Men Mommy Likes to Fuck

Book 5: Yes, You're Living in a Trailer Park.

Hah! Dying over here.

Book 6: Dancer v. Stripper: What Mommy Says and What It Means

Book 7: Why Your Great Grandma is 45.

I hope the reviewers are trolls. What parent would name her SON LaMichael? Is she trying to get him beaten up? ElMichael, maybe -- that actually has badass Hebrew connotations as well as Spanish -- but LA?

About prison versus jail. One of my friends is a jailer at the county level. From what I hear, everyone has pretty much described the difference. The only thing I'd add is that jail is a holding tank for people who have been arrested, possibly charged, and undergoing trial. Once convicted and sentenced, they go to prison, which is a correctional facility (well, in theory). Prisons rank from minimum security (almost resorts) to supermax (the ones in Texas break even hardened murderers). My friend told me that sometimes, if the crime is small enough (like public intoxication or a barroom brawl), they will sentence the guy to 60 days to 6 months back in jail. Prosecutors don't like sending people to prison just for being stupid. They may come out being dangerous to others, not just themselves.

Not sure how the Fed works. I've never heard where the FBI keeps people they arrest before trial. I wouldn't imagine it would be a local jail.

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nathanomir
I hope the reviewers are trolls. What parent would name her SON LaMichael? Is she trying to get him beaten up? ElMichael, maybe -- that actually has badass Hebrew connotations as well as Spanish -- but LA?

Haha ElMichael? Makes me think of Bart's masked persona, El Barto on the Simpsons. ElMichael, the Michael of all Michaels. He will be king of the playground. Lmao.

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brattymcpants

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Snark Shark
Book 3: Why Everybody Calls Your Mom a Crack Whore

Book 4: NONE of Those Men are Your Daddy, They're Just Men Mommy Likes to Fuck

Book 5: Yes, You're Living in a Trailer Park.

Hah! Dying over here.

Book 6: Dancer v. Stripper: What Mommy Says and What It Means

Book 7: Why Your Great Grandma is 45.

larious
Book 8: The Night Daddy went to Cabo with his Secretary

Here's a list I thought was funny:

http://funny2.com/book.htm

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I walk the path of life to my own rhythm, my own beat-if you don't like it, step off and find your own damn song!