http://babyandbump.momtastic.com/miscarriage-support/593321-dealing-miscarriage-without-partner.html



Dealing with a miscarriage without a partner.

When I found out I was pregnant it was a huge shock as I wasn't planning on having a baby and I wasn't in a relationship with the father. When I told him about it he didn't want me to continue with the pregnancy but I had already bonded with this baby, I had already been thinking of names, looking at clothes, imagining my life with this baby. I told him that despite what he wanted, I would be continuing with the pregnancy. He tried and tried to convince me what a mistake I was making, how I had no idea how hard it was going to be to be a single parent because he couldn't help me out etc.. of course I had thought of all these things but I didn't care. Planned or not, I loved my baby. He tried from the very beginning to talk this idiot into aborting, they weren't "in a relationship", and yet she was going to go on and hatch it anyway.

2 days later I was in hospital as I suspected I was having a miscarriage. I texted him to tell him and got no response from him. 4 texts I sent him before getting anything out of him which was "You should know I hope you're ok" How would I know if he didn't tell me?? At this point I was told the baby was fine, I got to see the scan and I got to see his little heartbeat which is a moment I will remember for the rest of my life. When the nurse was first looking at the US she couldn't see a heartbeat and turned the screen for me to see. She started off the sentence "I'm sorry.." before being interupted by his tiny little heartbeat as soon as I looked at him. I like to think he was kept alive for a little longer so I could see him. Sounds silly but that thought is helping me through everything. Oh for GOD'S sake! The clot-loaf was on it's way out the baby oven hole and if the NURSE said there wasn't a heart beat then I seriously DOUBT one magically appeared on the screen for her viewing pleasure. The guy ALREADY TOLD HER he didn't want the loaf and she isn't even his girlfriend, so WHY so shocked he doesn't even respond until she pesters the hell out of him? Talk about this lucky guy "dodging the bullet" I hope like hell he has better sense than to sleep with her again.

After that, things got worse and a week later another scan confirmed I had lost the baby. When I told the father he said he knew that's not what I wanted, he hoped I was ok but that he was relieved. What kind of man tells someone who has just lost their baby that he is relieved??? Things didn't "get worse", the clot was dead in the water and she just refused to let them suction out the rest of the gunk, choosing instead to dramatically draw out the "miscarriage" for as long as she could milk it for attention. OF COURSE he's relieved! WHAT ON EARTH dd she expect? I actually think he's being pretty nice to her, under the circumstances of the fact she is a nutcase.

Even though I am so angry at this guy for the way he has treated me through all of this, part of me, for some reason, still feels like I need him to help me through this. Even though he wanted no part of the baby's life and doesn't care about what happened it was still his baby and the one I shared that with. Other people have been there to support me but it just doesn't feel the same as having the father's support. My ex boyfriend has been a great help and at one point he said he wishes it had been his baby because even though he'd have lost it he would have known better how to help me through this. I just wish I had the same level of sympathy from the baby's father. This entire part here illustrates she is a COMPLETELY placenta brained Moo wannabee.. .

I think this was just more a rant than anything, it's the first time I've sat down and let these feelings out but if anybody has been through similar it would be great to hear how you coped. Oh, rest assured they have. There are PAGES of similar irrational Moo wailings about the dead uncooked loaf, the baby daddy who didn't want it, and how they didn't get the attention from the sperm donors who were CLEARLY not interested in spawning with these stupid women. GOD why don't these guys just wear rubbers?

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

First of all, he was not you Baby's Father, you never had a baby, you had a clump of cells.

He dropped to his knees and thanked deity the second he read your text.

What kind of Man says he's relieved? The Man who told you that he did not want to be a Father, and told you to have an abortion.

She was not in a relationship with the guy, but expected him to comfort her??

So she played the role of Flavor of the Week to a guy who probably yelled it to high heaven in front of her that he didn't want a loaf, and she's shocked when he says he doesn't want to be involved, and that he's relieved when the clump of cells makes an exit.

This stupid wanna-moo got what she deserved. And I have tons of respect for the guy who stood by his original stance of not wanting a loaf, and not getting all jelly-spined when wanna-moo said she was inpig. But, he should have wrapped it up.

I fail to see the insensitivity - the guy said he didn't want to deal with a bastard, that they weren't in a relationship and that she should terminate. She even comes right out and says she didn't care what he wanted and she was going to just do whatever she wanted, but HE'S the asshole for being relieved that nature was smart enough to step in when wanna-Moo proved she couldn't be arsed to make the responsible, sane decision.

There is no way to have bonded with the "baby" because there was no fucking baby to begin with. There was a clump of cells. What Moo was bonding with was this romanticized fantasy of having a baby. How can you bond with something you can't see, that has no personality, and makes its presence known by making you puke and get fat/fatter?

This woman is nuts and the last thing she needs is a baby without a father to intervene in the insanity. As much as the whining from these Moos of "angel babies" irritate me, I'd rather they stick to birthing clumps than live children so they don't inflict their horse shit on living beings.

Ranty CF goodness (updated 3.23.2012)
Caffeinated Childfree

Oh for God's sake...

A lot of abortions happen in the first trimester. It is natural, normal, and not to be moooed about =_=

Also, this woman is nuts. She is having her brain clouded by mommy hormones. It is a biological part of pregnancy, like being on high. Problem is that it make you lose your ability to accurately assess the situation. She should thanks God she didn't have the baby!

Also, I bet she will try for a true one another time, ASAP. Because she is crashing, like an addict,out of her mommyhormones.

_______________________

“I was talking about children that have not been properly house-trained. Left to their own impulses and indulged by doting or careless parents almost all children are yahoos. Loud, selfish, cruel, unaffectionate, jealous, perpetually striving for attention, empty-headed, for ever prating or if words fail them simply bawling, their voices grown huge from daily practice: the very worst company in the world. But what I dislike even more than the natural child is the affected child, the hulking oaf of seven or eight that skips heavily about with her hands dangling in front of her -- a little squirrel or bunny-rabbit -- and prattling away in a baby's voice.”


― Patrick O'Brian, The Truelove


lib'-er-ty: the freedom given to you to make the wrong decision, based on the reasoned belief that you will normally make the right one.

I'm not going to try wrapping my head around that insanity. After three glasses of wine I'm not drunk but that crap makes me want to say screw the glass and just guzzle the bottle.

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satansbitch
I'm not going to try wrapping my head around that insanity. After three glasses of wine I'm not drunk but that crap makes me want to say screw the glass and just guzzle the bottle.

That's fine, as long as you share

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" ... what's one more once you've already got two shedding on the couch?"

what a fucking nutcase!!!

Clumpus was BETTER OFF not being born to this CRAZY WOMBAN.

Let's see...she gets pregnant by a fuckbuddy who threw her to the curb before she found out about being inpig, and is upset he was not on his knees with a diamond?

Both guy and clumpy are in better places. This chick is nucking futs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.

LOL!!!!

And he should drop to his knees and kiss the ground that she had a miscarriage. Saved him a lifetime of support payments, drama and baggage. Maybe he'll consider wrapping it up or getting fixed.

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kidlesskim
http://babyandbump.momtastic.com/miscarriage-support/593321-dealing-miscarriage-without-partner.html

My ex boyfriend has been a great help and at one point he said he wishes it had been his baby because even though he'd have lost it he would have known better how to help me through this. I just wish I had the same level of sympathy from the baby's father.

As Scooby would say: "ruh roh"

Ex-boyfriend had better watch out, I'm getting vibes that the moo-wanna-be might pull a "why don't we get together for dinner - you know, for old time's sake" con that will lead to a roll, leading her to obsessively checking the pee stick for the next three weeks. She's gone through all those fluffy cloud vibes and created a mental picture of herself as a sainted mother.

If it's not her ex-, it's going to be some other sap. That woman has breedin' on her mind; she's not going to stop until she gets herself in pup.

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trekkie monster

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satansbitch
I'm not going to try wrapping my head around that insanity. After three glasses of wine I'm not drunk but that crap makes me want to say screw the glass and just guzzle the bottle.

That's fine, as long as you share

Yeah and for the next one - get a paper bag to keep it in so we can pass it around. How about some MD 2020 - it comes in BLUE flavor now!
Damn Skippy! Ima go get me a brick!

You can always find a kindly and sympathetic man at the liquor store. Whiny Wanna Moo was looking for lurve in all the wrong places. You want a nice warm feeling in the belly? Fuck pregnancy - go for the juiced wines! You get you a brick of the MD and hang around an alley - you'll meet PLENTY of loving men! I guarantee it!

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Dorisan

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kidlesskim
http://babyandbump.momtastic.com/miscarriage-support/593321-dealing-miscarriage-without-partner.html

My ex boyfriend has been a great help and at one point he said he wishes it had been his baby because even though he'd have lost it he would have known better how to help me through this. I just wish I had the same level of sympathy from the baby's father.

As Scooby would say: "ruh roh"

Ex-boyfriend had better watch out, I'm getting vibes that the moo-wanna-be might pull a "why don't we get together for dinner - you know, for old time's sake" con that will lead to a roll, leading her to obsessively checking the pee stick for the next three weeks. She's gone through all those fluffy cloud vibes and created a mental picture of herself as a sainted mother.

If it's not her ex-, it's going to be some other sap. That woman has breedin' on her mind; she's not going to stop until she gets herself in pup.

Oh absolutely - I thought the same thing! I also thought this of the Clump Father; Consider this statement - Even though I am so angry at this guy for the way he has treated me through all of this, part of me, for some reason, still feels like I need him to help me through this.

Seems to me that she'd make another run at this guy too, if given the chance.

You know it never ceases to amaze me how men complain about 'over emotional' women - and yet they seem to chase after these types. If you're more calm, rational, and logic based - you're a cold bitch, a Feminazi, mean, etc. But then they go right back to bitching about the Hysterical Emotional Women. The EX BF here - OK, why is he even speaking to this hot mess? For the love of crap

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Zzelda

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trekkie monster

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satansbitch
I'm not going to try wrapping my head around that insanity. After three glasses of wine I'm not drunk but that crap makes me want to say screw the glass and just guzzle the bottle.

That's fine, as long as you share

Yeah and for the next one - get a paper bag to keep it in so we can pass it around. How about some MD 2020 - it comes in BLUE flavor now!
Damn Skippy! Ima go get me a brick!

You can always find a kindly and sympathetic man at the liquor store. Whiny Wanna Moo was looking for lurve in all the wrong places. You want a nice warm feeling in the belly? Fuck pregnancy - go for the juiced wines! You get you a brick of the MD and hang around an alley - you'll meet PLENTY of loving men! I guarantee it!

NEVER would I make the mistake of drinking Mad Dog again, ever. At the age of 17 a friend of mine and I would routinely park outside of a liquor store dive on the bad side of town on Friday nights and within 5 minutes, we could get a Wino willing to break the law and buy us a bottle of Barcardi if we gave him $5. One night we had slim pickins' and had to settle on one who was well into a good hearty drunk. The sneaky bastard bought us a bottle of MD 20/20 instead and of course pocketed the change. Since he had taken all of our money, we drank it anyway. NEVER have I been so sick in my life, literally vomiting all up my driveway when we got back, which my dad made me get up at 6AM and scrub off the next morning. It's been over 30 years ago and I still get waves of nausea when I think about it.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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Dorisan

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kidlesskim
http://babyandbump.momtastic.com/miscarriage-support/593321-dealing-miscarriage-without-partner.html

My ex boyfriend has been a great help and at one point he said he wishes it had been his baby because even though he'd have lost it he would have known better how to help me through this. I just wish I had the same level of sympathy from the baby's father.

As Scooby would say: "ruh roh"

Ex-boyfriend had better watch out, I'm getting vibes that the moo-wanna-be might pull a "why don't we get together for dinner - you know, for old time's sake" con that will lead to a roll, leading her to obsessively checking the pee stick for the next three weeks. She's gone through all those fluffy cloud vibes and created a mental picture of herself as a sainted mother.

If it's not her ex-, it's going to be some other sap. That woman has breedin' on her mind; she's not going to stop until she gets herself in pup.

That's exactly what I think will happen, but I hope she'll go after her sympathetic ex instead of that guy. Sadly, so many of these women want to redo the pregnancy, so I'm also certain that she'll start taking prenatal vitamins and then arrange to be with the guy who knocked her up before, and try to get him in the sack again...sadly, it probably won't be all that hard to convince him to fuck her again.

This Wanna-Moo comment TRUMPS the original poster's sob story

Your story sounds so much like mine...Text after text during my MC was the same thing your man said. I went through 12 hours of labor only to end in an emergency d&c and then back in the ER the next day with an allergic shock reaction to the anesthesia and then again 2 days later with an infection. Even tonight I finally poured my heart and soul and tears into a conversation with him and he ends it with "You just can't stop being so dam dramatic" And yet I still feel like I need him as well, but I think it's the shock of one loss and the fear of losing him completely so that I can never have that chance for that next baby again..Not ONLY did she have a miscarriage requiring a hospital visit too, but SHE was 1)Admitted through the emergency room and given an EMERGENCY D&C 2) Suffered an allergic reaction to anesthesia and went BACK to the ER 3)Then endured an infection as well as lost a half baked loaf. Yet, she wants a, "chance for that baby again" from the loins of a man eaten alive by the I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU virus.

I try to find reason in all of this, my next step is to start anti-depressants, I'm slowly losing me through all of this... I've been two days without sleep, on pain meds, not eating and he gives me this... I like to think there is a special place in Gods garden for men like him to labor away the fruits of there ill will toward us who needed them so while they watch us prosper and grow and get that happiness they denied us so much..This one here is vindictive as hell, wanting her man to toil away in God's Garden and all while she and her baby look on in delight. NOT FOUND in the bible though, this Garden of Moo revenge.

Know you're not alone, though I can't offer you much in the way of answers as they seem to escape me when I need them most, if nothing else a touching story similar to your own and a hug might give you comfort in your grief She certainly ISN'T alone because there are several more pages of strikingly similar stories reaching idiotic proportions on this one blog, among thousands.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Good lord, I just went to the link. Three pages, with multiple women who pulled this crap?

Technology sets women up for this kind of drama. From what I researched, a fetal heartbeat can be detected by the 4th or 5th week of pregnancy. By the time a woman is "pretty sure" she's pregnant, the doctor can do a scan to show her a blob and let her hear a pitter patter - both amorphous indications from which she can build a baby in her imagination. Used to be that women didn't consider a pregnancy viable until at least past the third month or until she felt the critter kicking. Now, some women start thinking of themselves as a "mother" when all they have is a clot.

It would only lead to more misogynist attitudes, but men should read those boards. From the responses those idiot cows described, men** have absolutely no idea of how these women think when it comes to getting knocked up. While the men keep it simple ("I don't want this baby, ergo I need to try and make the woman abort it"), the women confabulate the situation, become obsessed with a fantasy picture, and try to pull the men into the world they've created, even if the man shows clearly that he ain't havin' none of it. And when the worst happens and the men 'let them down' (though I don't see it that way. the guy is merely following his own processing of the situation) the women fall to pieces.

Any guy that has bareback, fertile sex with a woman to whom he has not discussed consequences is an idiot. They have no idea of the whole world some of these women can create - a world they expect the sperm donor to willingly fall into - should they conceive.



**exceptions being the men who post on this board. I think you guys are rarities.

These idiots all think babies have some magic mojo that magically transform a lukewarm man in to a loving, baby rabies filled robot that will suddenly see the light, want them and the brat and they get to run off in to the sunset.

What actually happens in many cases is the man does run off screaming in to the sunset without her.

And I agree, any dude that does not at least slap on a condom when he knows he is doing his one-night mambo is a moron.

This one here is in serious need of psychiatric help and I am not saying that to be funny. She is a bona fide NUT CASE of the basket weaving variety

I wasn't with the father either - in fact when i told him i as pregnant he asked if i was getting an abortion. by that point i'd already miscarried, so i corrected him and he acted all sympathetic, but i know he didn't care. i know he was happy to hear "it" was "gone". he didn't even believe it was his. but just 24 hours before telling him, i'd gone thru a horrific experience ALONE, losing the baby. i was still bleeding and it was concerning me. but when i'd text him about it, he ignored me. even ignored when i asked his opinion on a name (i was determined to give this child an identity so that others understood she WAS a baby, not just "cells" or a "fetus" or whatever other term they want to use). I even sent him a certificate with her name on it (and his last name and my last name) to make it a little more real to him. But after that I let him be. Fact was he couldn't be the man I needed him to be. OMFG. the guy asked her to get an abortion, but she miscarried instead and would have refused to have gotten one anyway. He has TOLD her he wasn't interested in her OR a loaf, yet then she drums up a NAME for the clot after having asked him for his opinion on a name and still was getting NO response. AFTER he ignored all of that too, she sent him a "certificate" she got from God knows where? AND he denied it was his clot from the very beginning? If I had been that guy I would have been looking over my shoulder

When we lose a baby, we lose a piece of ourselves, we lose what we helped create, and therefore we feel the only person who can help us grieve is the one who should be grieving with us. yes it helps to talk about it to people who understand, helps to have support of family and friends, BUT there's only one man who should be feeling your loss in the same way you are, and he's MIA. It is SO hard, i looked for any man who could be a "replacement" but male friends just couldn't cut it, and no one was gonna love this baby like I did. they would feel sad FOR me because i feel sad, but they won't feel sad WITH me, y'know? This sounds like the thought processes of an emotionally disturbed and mentally unstable person.

Unfortunately i just had to ride it out alone. after almost a year i decided i had enough of being the only one to remember. I wanted to make sure Justice would live on with her father as well. So I wrote him a letter, told him how I felt and that I wanted to know he would be thinking of her on her birthday. I wanted nothing more, because we could have nothing more. This wasn't some kind of trap or gameplaying, it was my heart on my sleeve, saying I need to know in order for ME to move forward with my life, I had to know he cares, because I couldn't take being alone anymore. It's "birthday" It can't HAVE a "birthday" if it's never been born! She spills her guts in a letter to this guy a YEAR later, about a loaf he claimed wasn't even HIS? I'd have liked to have been a fly on the wall when he read that nonsense! By this point he likely had an actual girlfriend or even a wife. It'd freak me the fuck out if some woman in my husband's past sent him a letter like that. What is she, Glenn Close's character from "Fatal Attraction"?


And he came through. I think he grew up a lot in that year, he recognized that it was true grief i was going through and he told me he would remember.The guy is a genius to have told her what she wanted to hear at this point! GOD help him had he been mean about it. However, I wouldn't doubt it if his kindness didn't signal to her she still had a chance with him, since she is OBVIOUSLY a psycho.

At that point that's all that mattered, and that point it was enough to give me the peace i'd been desiring that whole year long. He couldn't give me the support I needed, he wasn't the man he should have been. But i was thankful that in spirit he would be thinking of her with me. i wouldn't have found that out though if i hadn't been straight forward - no sugar coating, no roundabout way of asking - just flat out, THIS is what I need, are you going to give me that?
it makes me wonder if i'd been that straight forward when it happened would things have been different? But i know in my heart that's probably not true - he could say what he did now because time had passed and he'd also come to terms with it. No, he had completely forgotten about it until he received that bat shit crazy letter. He hadn't "come to terms" with anything other than perhaps he had made a terrible mistake in ever hooking up with that girl.

I hope something can happen that will give you the peace that i received. i wanted so much for a whole year to have what i couldn't in that man, that by the time he said he would never forget it was all i needed to feel complete again. hugs for you hun, it will be a difficult road, but this is a great support site. Yeah, I will BET he won't "ever forget it" and probably will forever have the scar from getting grazed by that crazed dodged bullet..


ETA: I haven't even begun to look at the second page of these yet.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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Dingo8YourBaby
These idiots all think babies have some magic mojo that magically transform a lukewarm man in to a loving, baby rabies filled robot that will suddenly see the light, want them and the brat and they get to run off in to the sunset.

What actually happens in many cases is the man does run off screaming in to the sunset without her.

And I agree, any dude that does not at least slap on a condom when he knows he is doing his one-night mambo is a moron.

There is nothing quite like the feeling of knowing that one parent wanted nothing to do with you and the other resents you for it. It is fucking fantastic!!

These bitches would be almost funny if they weren't so damned pathetic.

Yeah, don't you all just love how potential moo-hood makes people in to better, more caring, loving, purpose filled beings?

I'd bet money that after reading the letter from that batshit whackjob he was on his hands and knees thanking any and all higher powers she was out of his life for good.

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miss mmr
So she played the role of Flavor of the Week to a guy who probably yelled it to high heaven in front of her that he didn't want a loaf, and she's shocked when he says he doesn't want to be involved, and that he's relieved when the clump of cells makes an exit.

This stupid wanna-moo got what she deserved. And I have tons of respect for the guy who stood by his original stance of not wanting a loaf, and not getting all jelly-spined when wanna-moo said she was inpig. But, he should have wrapped it up.

He may have rapped it, but the rubber may have failed for reasons non-deliberate or when dealing with a placenta brain, deliberate reasons. There are stories of women pulling used rubbers out of the trash, turning them inside out, and well...

Two things:

I would be willing to bet a significant number of these woman are screwing around with married men, and that's why having a relationship with them is not possible.

These woman are living in fantasy land. I'm getting so sick of our pronatalist society where every baybee is a mirakul and it's always a joyous occasion.

Sometimes, pregnancy just means two people did something extremely stupid. A miscarriage in these circumstances is a better outcome for all involved, particularly the child.