This is a rant. No, better, this is a vent. I know I already posted something like this, but I have to rant somewhere just how incredibly stupid, self absorbed, idiot… I just don’t have words. Neither in Italian nor in English. I don’t have word for what this Vast of Space is. This is a homebirth death story I have found in a blog I read.
Later that evening [of the day of birth], when he was nursing, I noticed that he was a little blue. I called to my husband and told him I wasn’t sure he was breathing. He whisked him up and tried to get him to wake up. I had enough time to get the midwife, and then 911, on the phone before he got him awake. He seemed okay, so we canceled the ambulance. Then Miriam told us that sometimes big babies get hypoglycemic after birth and pass out so to try and make sure he eats frequently. Well, he didn’t. After that first latch on, he showed no interest in nursing. We actually broke out the free case of formula that we’d been mocking when it arrived. … The next morning, Miriam came over to check him and said that he seemed fine. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was working too hard to breathe. I’ve had asthma since I was 13, and I know what it’s like to have to use all your energy just to breathe. She said if I was still worried I should have him checked by his pediatrician. Only it was Sunday; the pediatrician’s office was closed, and the emergency number for the pediatrician was a cell phone that was out of range. I called my cousin Jeanine, who is a lactation consultant, and asked for some advice. She gave me some tips that resulted in success later that evening. He nursed beautifully for about a half hour, one of the most beautiful interludes of my life, and I’ll always treasure it. The love in his eyes as he stared into mine was palpable. I could feel it melting the anxiety I’d been carrying for weeks. I thought he must be getting better, but I had resolved to take him into the doctor in the morning anyway. Later that night, I got worried again and woke up my husband, and the two of us were watching him when he stopped breathing. It was obvious this time. My husband did CPR and I called 911. Police came quickly and took him down to the ambulance. We waited in the police car barefoot and in night-clothes as they worked on him. Finally, they drove us to the hospital and stashed us in the waiting room.
Now I’ll explain the part that made me angry enough to see red. Literally. There was a moment in which I couldn’t see:
The love in his eyes as he stared into mine was palpable NO YOU IDIOTIC CUNT! IT IS NOT LOVE! HE IS DYING!
Just how self absorbed and delusional you need to be to mistake the look of child struggling to breath with LOVE?!
I… am beyond angry.
If some of you would help me expand my vocabulary with the correct term for this useless bag of atoms, I would appreciate it.
Thank you.
PS: Notice how noone, in the scenario presented, had an ounce of brain. And of course the baby death is not anybody fault. Of course. We can't "judge them". They have "suffered enough".
PPS: And just when I thought I couldn't get angrier, I read something like this. It was in one of the comment.
I love that you touched on that it’s NOT just about having a healthy baby in the end. It is about having a good birth experience and getting what you wanted. You’ve carried that baby for months in your belly, you should enjoy giving birth!! People say to me all the time that the biggest concern for this baby is it being born healthy (ie. not like Sadie), but I have had to give up my homebirth dream. I hate that I have to give birth in a hospital just so everyone else is comfortable. I’m choosing not to fight them (mostly my husband) this time… but next time I’m staying home!!! I’m glad you’re mad and unsatisfied and I hope that next time you get exactly what you want!
Help in expanding my vocaboulary would be really, really appreciated.
_______________________
“I was talking about children that have not been properly house-trained. Left to their own impulses and indulged by doting or careless parents almost all children are yahoos. Loud, selfish, cruel, unaffectionate, jealous, perpetually striving for attention, empty-headed, for ever prating or if words fail them simply bawling, their voices grown huge from daily practice: the very worst company in the world. But what I dislike even more than the natural child is the affected child, the hulking oaf of seven or eight that skips heavily about with her hands dangling in front of her -- a little squirrel or bunny-rabbit -- and prattling away in a baby's voice.”
― Patrick O'Brian, The Truelove
lib'-er-ty: the freedom given to you to make the wrong decision, based on the reasoned belief that you will normally make the right one.
No...it's not about a healthy loaf...it's not about the loaf at all. It's about MOOO's need to sluice any which way she fucking wants, no matter WHAT the risks to her baby. She doesn't give a fuck, as long as she gets her goddamned DREAM BIRTH.....I share your rage! GGAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
How can they even WRITE this shit, without an ounce of a conscience?? A dying loaf knows NOTHING about love!! What an idiot!! And if the loaf DID love her, I hope it eats her up inside EVERY DAY that she did wrong by him.
Don't they realize that they are talking about a human being? Goddamned I hate these evil bitches. They make me ashamed to be a woman.
No more selfish cunt have I encountered than a fucking typical breeder moo. They are the most selfish, self-serving, narcissistic, evil individuals on the fucking planet.
These womban who are obsessed with birth experiences are like the opposite extreme of anti-choice activists. The anti-choice people think that the woman's body belongs completely to the loaf from the moment of conception, whereas these people think that the child belongs entirely to the mother, up to the moment the birth is complete and possibly beyond.
Once you've decided to keep the fetus, you have a responsibility to the person it will become to do your best to make it healthy. That means making decisions for the benefit of the fetus except when your own physical well-being is in danger (for instance in the case of cancer). When it comes down to a healthy baby or the birth experience of your choice, the baby's health should win out. Go and have other experiences - which don't affect others - exactly how you want them.
Quote mumofsixbirds
No...it's not about a healthy loaf...it's not about the loaf at all. It's about MOOO's need to sluice any which way she fucking wants, no matter WHAT the risks to her baby. She doesn't give a fuck, as long as she gets her goddamned DREAM BIRTH.....I share your rage! GGAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
Like an Xtreme roller coaster ride for the bitch. She got her thrills 'n chills; the breathless moments and exultation. Then - well, darn. The ride ended. Oh well, she'll just get back on and ride again. I bet the cunt was pregnant again within a year.
Quote yurble
These womban who are obsessed with birth experiences are like the opposite extreme of anti-choice activists. The anti-choice people think that the woman's body belongs completely to the loaf from the moment of conception, whereas these people think that the child belongs entirely to the mother, up to the moment the birth is complete and possibly beyond.
Once you've decided to keep the fetus, you have a responsibility to the person it will become to do your best to make it healthy. That means making decisions for the benefit of the fetus except when your own physical well-being is in danger (for instance in the case of cancer). When it comes down to a healthy baby or the birth experience of your choice, the baby's health should win out. Go and have other experiences - which don't affect others - exactly how you want them.
You make a very interesting point, and I agree with you. If you accept the idea that the fetus will become a person, you have to do what you can to ensure it will become an healthy person.
And we are the selfish one, remember that.
_______________________
“I was talking about children that have not been properly house-trained. Left to their own impulses and indulged by doting or careless parents almost all children are yahoos. Loud, selfish, cruel, unaffectionate, jealous, perpetually striving for attention, empty-headed, for ever prating or if words fail them simply bawling, their voices grown huge from daily practice: the very worst company in the world. But what I dislike even more than the natural child is the affected child, the hulking oaf of seven or eight that skips heavily about with her hands dangling in front of her -- a little squirrel or bunny-rabbit -- and prattling away in a baby's voice.”
― Patrick O'Brian, The Truelove
lib'-er-ty: the freedom given to you to make the wrong decision, based on the reasoned belief that you will normally make the right one.
They should all three have been charged with negligent homicide.
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much? I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
Quote mumofsixbirds
No...it's not about a healthy loaf...it's not about the loaf at all. It's about MOOO's need to sluice any which way she fucking wants, no matter WHAT the risks to her baby. She doesn't give a fuck, as long as she gets her goddamned DREAM BIRTH.....I share your rage! GGAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
How can they even WRITE this shit, without an ounce of a conscience?? A dying loaf knows NOTHING about love!! What an idiot!! And if the loaf DID love her, I hope it eats her up inside EVERY DAY that she did wrong by him.
Don't they realize that they are talking about a human being? Goddamned I hate these evil bitches. They make me ashamed to be a woman.
No more selfish cunt have I encountered than a fucking typical breeder moo. They are the most selfish, self-serving, narcissistic, evil individuals on the fucking planet.
I give them all a BIG
I agree 100%. The was the impression that i got from the moo commenter was "Too bad about the baby. But at least you got what you wanted!"
The "too bad about the baby" comment blows my mind. Is this really how those cunts feel? Because if it is ,they should be charged with negligent homicide every time one of theses bitches,against medical advice, decides to have a home birth or some other such nonsense.
I agree with Yurble. If you decide to have a baby, then you are responsible for it, and you have the onus of keeping it healthy and protected, because you were the one who brought it into this world. Tough shit if you didn't get what you wanted. Personally, I really don't understand why any woman would want to give birth at home. A friend of mine ruptured her uterus while giving birth to her daughter. Her pregnancy had been textbook until this event, and if she had been at home when this happened, she would have died, and her daughter may have died as well. Hardly seems worth the risk, does it?
Quote chevygirl54
The "too bad about the baby" comment blows my mind. Is this really how those cunts feel? Because if it is ,they should be charged with negligent homicide every time one of theses bitches,against medical advice, decides to have a home birth or some other such nonsense.
I think it's exactly how they feel. In the end, it's all about THEM. Their child is just an extension of who they are and what they want, which is why they get so offended when someone doesn't instantly fall in love with their kid. It's not about the kid. It doesn't really matter if the kid dies after they get what they wanted ( a perfect birth experience, or a toddler who dies after being the baby they wanted, etc).
t, the only words I can think of are all colorful swear words. Most of which I have made up.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________ "Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin
Sociopathic. Narcissistic. Shameless about it. There isn't much difference between this and a psychopath that gets off on torturing people or animals and looks to other psychos for support and kudos because they get what they want out of the experience. It also reminds me of a story of an HIV positive guy who had unprotected sex with women and looked for sympathy for doing it because he was "lonely" and wanted to feel normal. Sick, sick fucks and those who enable and support them, sick, sick.
This is exactly why infant mortality rates were so high prior to the 1930s, when hospital births became the norm. At least back then, people had no other option. In this case, she had options, many of them. Her selfishness led to the death of a human being, just as much as if she had shaken the baby to get it to shut up, or put a pillow over his face, or left him in a parked car.
I've been trying to track the origin of this wave of selfishness. It seems that many of these parents, the ones we complain about on this board, are the right age to be the children of the first wave of yuppies, the first "Baby on Board" kids, born in the mid 1980s. Their parents were hippies in the 1960s or swingers in the 1970s, who cut their hair and put on suits. They sold out their ideals for money and Cuisinarts and BMWs. The "me" generation. They, in turn, were raised by parents who worshipped Dr. Benjamin Spock, who started this whole "let the children express themselves" movement. So, this is his legacy? That may be an overgeneralization, but I bet I'm not far off the mark.
I shudder to think what will happen when today's babies become parents themselves. Looks like I'll be a 65 year old member of a few murder trial juries by then.
Quote chevygirl54
The "too bad about the baby" comment blows my mind. Is this really how those cunts feel?
Tangent, but an ironic thought came to me. Here the anti-abortionists are all about getting women to carry to term and drop the kid, no matter what sort of liberties they have to suspend or onerous conditions they put on women. This poor kid is their goal: birth, labor and delivery. That it died afterward - well, their comment would probably have been the same.
Quote blondie
Sociopathic. Narcissistic. Shameless about it.
I bet the cow had a blast arranging the funeral and anticipating all the attention she'd get from being "the mother whose child tragically died".
While looking around for an analysis of that kind of narcissism, I came across this blog writer. I had to double check and make sure she wasn't writing about the same woman.
Quote
Alicia Crockett chose putting her birth “experience” ahead of her baby’s health. Instead of taking responsibility for her choice that destroyed her baby’s brain and then killed him, she has absolved herself of culpability by declaring that her baby’s entire existence had no other purpose than to facilitate her personal growth. In other words, her own baby was nothing more than a means to accomplishing one of her ends.
Alicia Crockett made a selfish and immature decision and now that disaster has occurred, she has offered a grotesquely selfish and immature rationalization for the decision that killed her baby.
Homebirth advocates like to characterize homebirth as a “loving” choice. Reading the stories of people like Janet Fraser, Rixa Freeze and now Alicia Crockett, it seems clear that homebirth is often a “self-loving” choice, and the baby is just a bit player in the mother’s grandiose dreams of her own fulfillment.
it’s NOT just about having a healthy baby in the end. It is about having a good birth experience and getting what you wanted. You’ve carried that baby for months in your belly, you should enjoy giving birth!!
But we're the selfish ones? I'd also be willing to bet that if a woman used this same argument in favour of elective c-sections over natural births then they'd be ripping her to shreds over it.
I think I want to say something like "I love that you touched on that it’s NOT just about having a healthy baby in the end. It is about having a good birth experience and getting what you wanted." the next time someone is blathering on about a stillbirth.
"A little blue", hard to waken, poor responsiveness, lack of desire to nurse, questions about breathing...
...means HOSPITAL NOW. Not in a day or two. Not "we'll maybe see the pediatrician Monday". Not "we'll get a friend to check him tomorrow morning and see what the friend thinks". HOSPITAL NOW. PREFERABLY CALL 911 AND DON"T CANCEL THE DAMNED AMBULANCE.
Maybe the child would have died anyway. Or maybe this was a preventable death. Either way the authorities should have ample cause to investigate. Now the child's a little stiff and cold.
But what can I say? We CF are the selfish ones and we don't know anything about children and babies...
If for some reason I had ever wanted to have a child, I would be one of those bitches vying for an elective C-section. Sorry, but I wouldn't have given 2 shits about experiencing child birth.
I am opposed to home birthing for way too many reasons (I could literally write a book about it!) but back to that poor baby in the story:
No, love was not the expression in his eyes.
Rather, that expression was one of extreme suffering: babies that tiny cannot articulate their pain. They simply can't.
I am very sad to read cases like this, yet I feel anger as well.
Re: about having a healthy baby in the end,
When my closest girlfriend (who is in her early 60's yet she could pass for being in her 40's) told me her daughter (who is my age, 45) had a baby several years ago, when the baby was born healthy (keeping in mind that as a woman ages, so do the chances of genetic et al disorders rise in birthing babies) I actually made a comment, "Well I am happy he is a healthy baby."
I think that went over like a lead balloon with my friend.
Her daughter is a successful career woman and I think was maybe desperate for a child (she had to go the way of IVF). Having to care for a baby is emotionally rough as it is, but when a baby gets really sick, or is born with a genetic defect, that emotional roughness is compounded many times over.
Yet it is stories like the one in the OP which make me appreciate why mothers well over a century ago never became emotionally attached to their kids the way they do nowadays: what with the very high mortality rate in the 19th century, women were smart enough to preserve their sanity when it came to having babies.
Here's a brainless broodsow who doesn't even have half of the maternal instinct of an actual broodsow, who truly does not give a fuck about her infant's life.
Can anyone tell me where the pro-liars are? Anyone? Bueller?
These womben who care more about the birth experience than the child should be surrogate mothers. I know there are plenty of bad things about surrogacy, but it's better than having these self-absorbed twats raise a kyd they clearly are not interested in. Then again, maybe they should just be sterilized for reason of insanity.
I don't even have words for how ridiculously stupid the whole home birth thing is.
Even on a regular maternity ward, if the moo has a birth plan, it almost always goes wrong. They rent out their $450 a night rooming-in birthing suites, bring in their doulas, birthing coaches, other children, parents and dead brained sperm bank and the kid almost always comes out in respiratory distress. Then duh gets in the way of the medical personnel trying to take pictures of the loaf while the medical staff tries to suction the dang thing into stability. Once it is stable, it is rushed to the NICU to be monitored for sepsis, moo is rushed to the OR because she is hemorrhaging and everyone else goes into a meltdown because they want the ENTIRE FAMILY to stay overnight in the neonatal intensive care unit.
Giving birth is not some safe beautiful thing that "women have been doing in cornfields" for ages. It is a dangerous process and many things can go wrong. A lot of those hippy dippy home birth moos will bring up the fact that women in the past gave birth at home without problems but the thing is... the mortality rate of childbirth was a hell of a lot higher in the past as well. I dare say that there is a negative correlation with hospital assisted births and mortality rates due to childbirth.
Don't even get me started on the home birth midwives either. They're usually narcissistic broodmares that decided to do the limited education required to get their certification in midwifery and do not really have the skills to understand when to bring moo to the hospital and sometimes actively fight with moo to stay at home even when the labor has gone completely south.
Oregon state has a review site of midwives: Midwife Reviews It shows the death rates and court cases that have been brought against these home birth idiots.
End note: home birth is stupid and dangerous and the individuals performing the home births do not have the education or awareness to know when things are going wrong. Some of them will actually push vaginal birth after C-section and even when everything has gone completely wrong and moo is spewing out purulent meconium they will push for it to continue. Then the kid comes out cyanotic, with full retractions, nasal flairing and grunting and the parents are told it's okay so they shove a teet in its mouth and never take it hospital. Then said magical blue loaf dies and they think it's some freak accident when in reality, even the hospital cleaning staff could have told them that the loaf was not okay.
Any of these idiot mos can read for themselves about infant mortality rates before hospitals were the norm. How many old cemeteries have graves of children who died at birth? Plenty.
I'd also be willing to bet that if a woman used this same argument in favour of elective c-sections over natural births then they'd be ripping her to shreds over it.