Childless Step-Moo Wants, "One of our own"

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Am-A-Childless-Stepmom/1337422


I have been married for 5 years now. One reason I got married was to have kids. Jeeeez. I can't even imagine that being a reason to want to marry someone, but I guess it's a common mindset

I obviously loved my husband too. Well, due to medical problems- I could not conceive. This has devastated more me than my husband. He is happy with his 2 sons from his first marriage. I am not happy being just a step mom. "Obviously" she didn't love him enough. How funny it is her dream of inpigness fanfare didn't come to fruition and I'll bet the husband is secretly delighted. She probably wouldn't have been happy being a moo to someone else's kids EVEN IF she had been able to realize her dream of bio-moohood.

They have a very controlling mom ( she controls my husband too - I wrote about that in another post!). I do so much for these kids and feel very unappreciated. They are 13 and 15. I just had a birthday and they didn't even give me a card. I thought they could do that. I don't expect gifts. RED FLAGS all over the place here, especially the part about the ex "controlling" her husband. Those boys sound like shitty little bastards and the father stands idly by and lets them treat his wife like shit. No, it doesn't look promising for this marriage to last and she should leave, yesterday.

I cry all the time about being childless and I am in my 40s so it is too late to adopt according to my husband. He is 50.
I just do NOT understand these Wanna Moos who "cry all the time" because they can't sluice. She's in her 40's too? That's way too old to be sluicing anyway and 50 is too old to be siring fresh loaves too. Most adoption agencies won't adopt out to people this old, not that this man would want to adopt either. Besides, adoption won't cure her wailing desire to sluice anyway.

I don't want to live the rest of my life childless and I am not happy being just a step mom. I want my own child. I don't know what to do. I am finding myself jealous of the ex wife because they talk all the time about "their " kids and I am not part of it. It hurts me so much. My husband thinks it is silly that it bothers me that she gave him children. He said there is nothing he can do about that. ugh. 'Gave him children" like she loaned him her car or something. When I was a step-moo I had ZERO jealousy towards the bio moo having "given" my now ex bastard a kid. .In fact, I WISHED the kid would have favored the bio-moo more and desired her company over mine, instead of being up MY ass 24-7-365. I just don't "get" this jealousy over ANYONE for sluicing kids they obviously don't want to spend much time with anyway. The burden of a kid and those tiger stripes are two things I can HAPPILY do without.

Countless times I'd steer the conversation in a positive light onto the bio moo in an effort to get rid of the kid for a week. "Your mom said you didn't want to go down to the beach with her and her new husband next week! That sounds like SO MUCH FUN! Don't you want to go to the Gulfarium and play on the beach? The hotel they're staying in has a POOL! I'll give you $100 to spend if you will just GO, okay?. It's going to be so BORING around here all week and your dad won't be home either". The disappointment would always set in as my fantasy of being ALONE for a change was dashed along with her typical response, "No, that's okay. I'll just stay here with you, Kim".

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

The lady got married to have kids. Okay, setting aside that it's a shitty reason to spend the rest of your life with someone, let me just point out that NOW SHE HAS KIDS. Two of them. What, stepkids aren't good enough? Considering she's into her 40s, "one of her own" isn't damn likely to happen. Or at least it shouldn't, because her ova are certainly hitting their expiry date!

The teens might be jerkwads, they might not. Depends on how long they've known stepmom, or whether they were just told 'I'm marrying wannamoo and now she's gonna be your stepmom'. Older kids in particular won't just latch onto a new step-parent. However, if her husband doesn't back her up and expect that his sons at least be respectful, then the next 5 or so years are all mapped out. She will continue being unappreciated, miserable, and second-class in her own home.

Mostly I can't believe that she thought a guy who was 45 at the time of marriage and already had two teens would want to start over with a baby. And chances of that diminish at 50. From what she's written, he does not sound gung-ho about having a baby. He was probably thinking that he could see light at the end of the tunnel...get through the next few years, get the kids outta the nest, and go on to the next chapter of his life.

That's really stupid. She does realize that adopting a chyld is not going to make it "one of their own" doesn't she? Just like the two existing stepkids, any chyld she adopted would someone else's spawn.

Kim, I can't understand at all why you wouldn't want to become a mother figure to every waif looking for love.

And I've just been reminded of one of my favorite topics, which I now need to go bump.

Yeah, I thought that about adopting too. An adopted child wouldn't be "one of their own," biologically speaking. And that's usually what these breeder Moos crave - a BIO child. In this case, I'd say that's evidenced by this woman marrying her husband for the sake of producing children.

I have a feeling she's probably not all that nice to the stepkids either. Maybe they were assholes from the get-go, but I have a feeling she's leaving out parts about how she was an asshole to them too because their not her bio kids.

Gods, I can't imagine sitting around all day long, crying over what I don't have. Especially when it's not something that's crucial to life or would make life better. I can assure you, life would not be better for anyone involved if this woman got her hands on a new kid. I bet you anything she'd pit the new kid against the older ones and be sure to lavish "her" child with love and attention while ignoring the stepkids. Of course, none of these wanna-Moos will get their kid fix from being around children, like by being babysitters, working in daycares, teaching grade school classes, volunteering at kid events, hosting reading groups or summer recreation classes or kids' swim classes. Nope, the ONLY children who will suffice are bio children. I know this one says she wants to adopt, but even if she was within the proper age range to adopt, I guarantee within about a week, she'd realize she didn't "bond" with the child and it would just get shoved to the side and neglected by BOTH parents - by Moo because the kid's not biological offspring and by Duh because he doesn't want more kids.

Man if I were the husband, I'd get the fuck out of there. You know she's gonna harangue him about the kids they never had together for the rest of their lives.

Ranty CF goodness (updated 6.10.2013)
Caffeinated Childfree

I bet this guy has had a vasectomy and didn't get around to telling this WannaMoo about it. It would be funny if he did though, because "having kids" was why she married him in the first place. I like how she says she loved her husband, past tense. Shouldn't she be saying that she loves him in the present tense?

sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken
indecision may or may not be my problem