About to Hit the Panic Button

I've been the most part celibate in my life, a godsend when you consider my periods. Those suckers do not have any idea what a schedule is.

Once, when my sister was preggers with my niece, I went 9 months with out a period.

Ok, so I just did the morning test. This one was actually digital. I did the thing and was kind of paranoid at first because the instructions were for the non-digital, so I was waiting for the end to turn pink as it was absorbing.

Then I noticed on the side of the box that it just has an hour glass to show it's working, and there was an hour glass.

After 3 agonizing minutes, the readout said Not Pregnant.

So, what do I do from here? Do I bother to go to PP and get it confirmed, or is this enough consider that I am in the clear?

I think it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY you are pregnant, based on what you've told us, but of course a confirmation would be good. You can get an inpig test most anywhere at either an abortion clinic or one of the pro-lifer places for free and I'd take advantage of this free service if I were you, just for peace of mind. The next issue, after you are positive you are negative, is of course finding out if the guy lied and if so, what was his motive? Guys can get vasectomies with no questions asked at many places as young as 21, so it's possible he isn't lying. If he WAS lying, you can't trust him and need to end your relationship, period, IMHO. Stress can cause late periods as can any hormone based product, so that's likely a combination of what's causing your cycle to be whacky. I am sorry you are going through this and hope it's all over soon!

Those at home inpig tests are pretty accurate now at testing for the presence of the inpig hormone, which is how these moos know they have a "chemical pregnancy" before they've even missed a period! So, I'd say they are pretty damned reliable and if you have had two negatives, I'd say you are VERY LIKELY in the clear.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Thanks Kim.

I looked up the info on the local PP. They offer a urine test for 10 dollars, or 50 for a blood test. Much as I think the blood test would be more accurate, I don't really want to shell out 50 dollars, so I think I may just go for the 10 dollar urine test.

I know 3 tests may be overkill, but the more confirmation the better.

It will definitely be over, if he lied to me. But as far as I can tell, right now, it's just stress and paranoia.

I'd like to think that he was telling the truth because he didn't put up a fuss about wearing a condom. I will most definitely not let my pill lapse again though.

Look, any time you either take abortifacient herbs OR introduce a hormonal medication like the morning after pill or the RU-486 abortion pill into the equation, you are interrupting your body's natural menstrual cycle. Think of it as a temporary hijacking/resetting of your menstrual meter, if you will.

You also say you recently went off the Pill. I hate to break it to you, but unfortunately, for the two months after you go off of hormonally based birth control, your fertility INCREASES. So a loose sperm, dammit, is far more likely to do damage when you suddenly shift off the Pill.

So a couple of things might be happening. Number one, having gone off the Pill and entered into being more fertile, your hormones are all over the place, and so it's possible you're pignant or you were pignant.

But number two, having taken the morning after pill, you should have successfully knocked out the pignancy because that pill does just fine if you take it anywhere from immediately after unprotected sex to as far out as five days/120 hours after unprotected sex.

The double whammy of having gone off the Pill recently and having taken the morning after pill will completely knock your menstrual cycle off schedule for anywhere from one to three months. You'll need major backup contraception during this time. At the very least, use spermicide before sex plus a condom. If you go back on the Pill, give your body at least two to three months before having any unprotected sex again because it takes that long for your hormones to "reset" with the Pill.

I would do some more pregnancy tests just to be super certain but give yourself more time, like another week, before taking the next one. By then the result should be super accurate either way. Right now you're still in the middle of a hormone stew and I wouldn't trust the results. I've known women (including myself) who had negative pregnancy tests but turned out to be pregnant. Don't mean to scare you, it's just the truth. Keep doing pregnancy tests until you get at least three to five negative ones just to be sure. Use first morning urine each time.

In the very very VERY unlikely instance that you might be pignant (and again, having taken the morning after pill, this is extremely unlikely at this point, okay? ) I highly recommend fenugreek seeds (either ground or whole, available in most grocery stores and in most Indian or Asian markets and in health food stores) and either mugwort or motherwort taken together.

Teaspoon of fenugreek seeds; quarter cup of loose mugwort (best) or motherwort (almost as good) leaves. My second fave recipe is fenugreek seeds plus parsley; the raw parsley from the supermarket works just dandy; buy a bunch of it at the store; use about half of it with the fenugreek seeds/teaspoon of the fenugreek. (Note: if you're petite, do one teaspoon of fenugreek; if you're a larger lady I recommend two teaspoons of fenugreek.)

Fill a regular size saucepan two thirds of the way up with water. Put in the fenugreek seeds and either your mugwort, motherwort, or parsley leaves. Bring to a HARD, strong boil and let it boil for two minutes; then immediately lower the temp and get it to a nice, calm bubbling, a simmer, for another eight minutes; so ten minutes total to cook.

Drain out the herbs and you'll have your handy liquid. You know a traditional, regular drinking mug? Not the huge size kind but the smaller, regular coffee cup size? Your dosage is about a half of a mug of liquid, and you should drink one dose, then wait twelve hours, then drink another dose. Repeat for no longer than three days. So, two doses a day. Most women get their period within the first two doses. If you still haven't gotten your period at the end of the third day seek the RU-486 pill or an abortion. (But these herbs WORK, dear lady, so you are far more likely to see Ms. Flow return with a vengeance.)

Your period might be strong and with cramps, so have some aspirin or Advil handy.

If you induce your period this way, remember, your hormones will be "reset" and your next natural period might be a little wonky or off schedule until your body gets back on track. You might want to do an additional pregnancy test after you get your period just to make sure you're in the clear. And again, use backup contraception for at least two to three months after you induce your period to give your system time to reset itself.

You should be able to go back on the Pill, but wait until you get your next NATURAL period before starting back on the Pill again. Because you've disrupted your cycle by inducing your period and things need time to get back online.

Okay?

Best wishes to you for speedy menses and peace of mind.

Well I just had my test at PP. NEGATIVE! And they said it was most likely the morning after pill that is partly to blame.

I will look into the herbal treatments though. Much appreciated!

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cfchevygirl
Well I just had my test at PP. NEGATIVE! And they said it was most likely the morning after pill that is partly to blame.

I will look into the herbal treatments though. Much appreciated!

HUZZAH! Cosmopolitans all around!

Just FYI, you can also use dried parsley or freeze dried parsley; I dont' have the measuring equivalents in front of me; you'd want to take the same amount of dried parsley that equals about half a bunch of parsley as traditionally sized/sold at a grocery story. If that makes sense.

It sounds like you will be fine and just had a big scare. But it is SCARY.

This is why sterilization should be available to women who want it.

Lotta people have been having wonky periods lately. How weird.

Including me, but there is no pregnancy fear. However - I am still worried for it being 'off schedule'. I am a rather tense kind of a person and tend to worry. Erg. Not too much work to do today, and I am sitting here worrying when I could be doing something fun LOL.

OK, I got cut this out. Do not need to stress self out.

I'm sure you will be fine. Try not to give in to stressing out. I know how it is though ~

Congrats on your UNinpigness!!!
I hope you are feeling better about everything.

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cfchevygirl
Well I just had my test at PP. NEGATIVE! And they said it was most likely the morning after pill that is partly to blame.

I'm a little late to the thread (sorry for the bad pun)

I wanted to say congrats to your un-pregnancy!

If I were you, I'd do something nice for myself, just to de-stress and put this all behind you. Maybe treat yourself out for a nice dinner, or do something that you enjoy, to help ease your mind and get you back into the zone.

I hope that the rest of your week is as stress-free and relaxing as possible.

My periods used to be consistent up until around 2-3 years ago. Now, it isn't unusual to miss 3 or 4 in a row. There are a lot of different reasons why cycles can get all out of whack. Stress and the morning-after pill are certainly two great possibilities.

In regards to pregnancy tests, I believe First Response can be used anytime, not just in the morning. When my periods first started going crazy, I was buying 2-3 two-pack pregnancy tests just about every month (better safe than too late). I never had a false-positive from that particular brand, no matter what time of day I took the test.

Congratulations for your unpregnancy, though!

Aw, I'm so sorry to hear your periods are being so stupid. But hooray for your not-pregnancy!

I had similar problems (my fun little story's in The Patio) recently - mine was 3 months late and I was having my usual pre-bleeding symptoms....ovary cramps, bloating, spotting. Had those for about 2 or 3 weeks rather than the usual 1 week. But my periods have been coming every other month lately, so if I were to go by the 8-week schedule and consider it the norm, I was "only" 3 weeks late. I figured I was fine, but ye gods I was worrying so much. My periods were pretty normal up until last year - just out of the fucking blue, my period was two weeks late. I was even getting nauseous every morning. But that's when I was still working at my job from hell and was stressed out every single day, so that may have had something to do with it. Ever since, abnormal is my new normal in terms of my cycles. In short, sometimes your body will just go, "Fuck you!" and decide to act retarded.

I even tried loavesstillsuck's recipe - twice - and it didn't do anything. But I think I may have something wrong with me, so that's probably why it didn't work for me. Also, from what I have heard of the morning-after pill, since it's a more concentrated dose of hormones, it might screw up your cycles for a little bit. Honestly, I think 3 negative tests and a lack of symptoms is a pretty good indication you're just fine. I definitely agree with taking some time to just de-stress and regroup - if you can take a day off and just laze around, take a warm bath, read a book, get in a good nap, wach your favorite movie, or whatever you like to do to relax, totally would suggest it.

Ranty CF goodness (updated 3.23.2012)
Caffeinated Childfree

Thanks everyone!!! To say that I am relieved would be the understatement of the decade!

I did a little shopping today, bought myself some cute new bras, then hit up Bath and Bodyworks for some yummy scented candles. Going to have a bubble bath and a glass of wine (or 2).

I ended up going to Sprawlmart since they are the closest grocery and came up empty on mugwort and fenugreek (though they had the herbal pills, I'm guessing that's not sufficient?). Heck, they didn't even have fresh parsley! So, I'm going to have to make a stop at a real grocery store tomorrow, or find a place that carries health foods/herbs.

Oh, and did I say I am SO relieved!!!!

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cfchevygirl
Well I just had my test at PP. NEGATIVE! And they said it was most likely the morning after pill that is partly to blame.

I will look into the herbal treatments though. Much appreciated!

SO happy for you! I actually took the morning after pill myself yesterday (condom broke...always fun) so I understand how that is...not to unpregnancyjack, of course. I think you were late because a) the pill messes with your cycle and b) you were stressing about it. Stressing really makes it worse...I can't tell you how many times mine has come very soon after I finally stop stressing.

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cfchevygirl
Well I just had my test at PP. NEGATIVE! And they said it was most likely the morning after pill that is partly to blame.

Excellent news!

CONGRATULATIONS!

Now, how many forums do people congratulate members for NOT being pregnant?

I had to skip to the end of the thread to make sure you were okay.

FYI -- even the common cold can make you late. DW was two weeks late because of a severe case of sinusitis. No worries on her part; she's Essured. But still! Just some snot can make you freak out? Sheesh! How did we end up on the top of the food chain again?

Yay!

Congratulations on your Non-pregnasty!

if you drink, have some vodka!

if you don't drink, have some cake!

So... are you going to have a WOOO HOOO I Ain't Having no Babbies Shower?

Just sayin'.

Will have a l'orange martini to toast your unbaby. Congratulations.

And, in hindsight, the one time I used Plan B I was late a week, but better late than never. So it is something to keep in mind.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.

The morning after pill isn't for sale in my town in any pharmacy and the closest abortion clinic is 75 miles away. There is at least one pharmacist working at the only pharmacies in town at Walgreens,K-Mart, Rite Aid, Kroger, and Walmart who use their "conscious objection" clause and REFUSE to fill birth control prescriptions for IUD's and the pill because they are considered abortifacients, so the time frame anyone can get these prescriptions in the first place is limited. The only two privately owned pharmacies in town won't fill birth control prescriptions at all, although they do sell condoms and cootie suppositories. I have a friend who has to call ahead EVERY FUCKING month to make sure the right pharmacist is on duty when she wants to get her prescription refilled.

The abortion clinic located 75 miles away also require a 24 hour waiting period from the time you go in and confirm the inpigness, an ultrasound is required along with a blood test for the "confirmation", they ONLY perform abortions on Saturday mornings, and they only offer inpig tests, including the required ultrasounds, on Monday and Wednesday. Therefore, it is a MINIMUM 5 day waiting period due to the limited times they offer the tests before anyone can get an abortion on a Saturday.. ZERO doctors in my town will perform a tubal ligation UNLESS someone has two prior loaves and ONLY THEN will they do it while they are on the table after sluicing. In other words, NO ONE will schedule an elective tubal ligation unless they have just sluiced that second loaf and a few of them won't do it until after the THIRD loaf.

However, there are several urologists in town who will perform vasectomies just for the asking for any man over age 21, regardless of his childed status. This is a small town in Kentucky, but as of 2006 in a large city in Alabama where I lived prior to moving here, it was pretty much the same way, although there were plenty of places that would fill birth control prescriptions though, but only TWO that would fill the morning after pill. It was easier to get prescription birth control, abortions, and tubal ligations in the mid to late 1970's than it is now, or so I have been told. These rabid pro-lifers have slowly chipped away at womens' reproductive rights over the past 3 decades until I am actually worried they might eventually remove ALL reproductive choices for women, except of course for shitting the loaf.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

I hope everything turns out okay, but I'd it doesn't, you can make it turn out that way. The morning after pill can screw with your cycles, but my cycles have been screwy for years due to endo, anyway, and i can't remember if mine was earlier or later than normal. In any case, I've been there, and had I not checked just to make sure it wasn't my crazy disease playing a cruel joke... And it was my ex who played a worse, more unfunny one.

Just remember that two pink lines aren't the end of the world, thank God. I hope he does the right thing. If he abandons ship, well... So you'll have to wait a teeny bit longer. And you have a longer list if ppl you'd like to die in a fire.


ETA: well, fuck me for not refreshing my phones browser! And much congratulations! Go wash that relief down with a bad-ass cocktail.

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cfchevygirl
Thanks everyone!!! To say that I am relieved would be the understatement of the decade!

I did a little shopping today, bought myself some cute new bras, then hit up Bath and Bodyworks for some yummy scented candles. Going to have a bubble bath and a glass of wine (or 2).

I ended up going to Sprawlmart since they are the closest grocery and came up empty on mugwort and fenugreek (though they had the herbal pills, I'm guessing that's not sufficient?). Heck, they didn't even have fresh parsley! So, I'm going to have to make a stop at a real grocery store tomorrow, or find a place that carries health foods/herbs.

Oh, and did I say I am SO relieved!!!!

Yay! I'm so glad to hear you are ok!

My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.
Cary Grant

I agree. Congrats!