WHY ISN'T ANYONE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THEY DO??

5 Stupid Habits You Develop Growing Up in a Broken Home

WHY ISN'T ANYONE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THEY DO ANYMORE????

No wonder kids today are as fucked up as they are. This article reeks of 'it's not their fault' pseudo-psychology 'i know because I've been there, and it's not your fault' bullshit.

The one entry that I take issue with is the one on compulsive lying: I mad e acomment on just that:

My comment:

"They don't do it to be evil. There's no malicious intent behind it. But it's so hard to not think of them as
who are only out to f**k with your head"

I'm sorry, but THAT is offensive. They ARE 'manipulating assholes' because they f**k with everyone around then in order to use their 'defense mechanism' to idealize their world. Seeing the wreckage that these people leave behind, it is EXTREMELY misguided to refer to them is a tone that implies they're sad little victims.

They MIGHT have had a s****y life (not all compulsive liars are from broken homes, and not all people from broken homes are compulsive liars). People make choices. And once their choice starts hurting other people, SYMPATHY IS GONE.

Well fuck, does he ever have a point!
I don't think that the article was meant as an excuse. It merely tried to highlight the reasons behind the behaviours. Many people who grew up in abusive environment don't ever realise that these behaviour are not a part of their character but merely consequences. Once you start looking at them as consequences, you can do something about them.

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" ... what's one more once you've already got two shedding on the couch?"

Cheese is a breeder asshole. Nothing is ever his fault, even if he tries to pass a weak "mea culpa." Any time it looks like he is about to claim responsibility, there's always a BUT...Nobody forced drink or drugs or sex on you. Your alcoholism and brats are on you (and your baby incubator.)

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

"Over the years, it becomes so woven into the fabric of your personality, you couldn't remove it without completely breaking down who you are as a person and rebuilding the cloth from scratch."

That's exactly what rational adults need to do at least every ten years. Examine their lives, decide what works, what doesn't work, what to keep, what to jettison. Yep, it involves some reinvention and a lot of work, but it's part of maintaining life as a journey. You keep breaking old bad habits (such as these five) and replacing them with good ones.

Of course, I realize that I short-circuited my whole argument by including that one word, "rational."

I only read things on cracked.com when they have their photoplay. I used to read a lot on that sight until they did an "article" on the "myths" of brain damage. That article had me seeing red. It was just a bunch of idiotic stuff retrieved from the internet and written as truth.

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I walk the path of life to my own rhythm, my own beat-if you don't like it, step off and find your own damn song!

Through the years, I've known a lot of compulsive liars. They make up absolutely ridiculous shit, and can tell it to you with a straight face. My ex was famous for this. If I questioned him, he would respond, threateningly, "You calling me a liar?" and that would make me back down, at first. Toward the end of the relationship, he used that line on me, and I responded, "YES! I AM calling you a liar! Now knock it off!" He was floored! It didn't stop his fabulous stories, but it DID feel good to tell him that I knew he was lying!

Gymrat - my ex was like that too. You could have PROOF of the lie and STILL she would keep it going!

I haven't read the article but Mack Leighty John Cheese is fucking awful.

I can't read his stuff anymore, not only is it breeder whinging bullshit, but he has cultlike status amongst the comment dwellers*. He just makes me angry.

He has that weird arrogant do as I say, not as I do breeder mentality.

He's a fucked up alcoholic who thinks that people should take advice from him because he "got better". Yeah, well I'd rather take advice from someone who didn't fuck up in the first place.

*He's besties with the editor of the site though, so comment worship is secondary.

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"Pro life childfree" is just another way of saying parent minus 9 months.

And the 6th stupid habit that ensures you'll continue the cycle of poverty? Having kids when you can't afford them, like this dope did.

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also I am not looking for a women with kids or diseases herpes or any other sexual deceases

John Cheese articles are really starting to piss me off. It's supposed ot be a COMEDY site, and lately, his shit ain't funny. He needs to get back to comedy, no woe is me bullshit.

Also, my comments are being thumbed down like CRAZY. I agree with the John Cheese cult concept...

Of course it's someone else's fault. When it's someone else's fault for him being a drug abusing liar, it becomes someone's else's fault for him not having a job, buying food, his kids not being able to afford college and him not making his mortgage payments. It makes life so much easier when you can abdicate the inability to succeed on others.

Compulsive lying is a cruel thing to do. There is no excuse, it is a way of controlling and mocking people like passive aggressive behavior but it is so blatant. It can really mess with people's heads and ruin lives. No excuse.

This Cheese guy is a whiner and a creep.

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blondie
Compulsive lying is a cruel thing to do. There is no excuse, it is a way of controlling and mocking people like passive aggressive behavior but it is so blatant. It can really mess with people's heads and ruin lives. No excuse.

This Cheese guy is a whiner and a creep.

I want to hug you. Compulsive liars are highly destructive, and I feel like Cheese writes it off as if they are victims that deserve sympathy, and that makes me feel stabby.

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think_about_it

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blondie
Compulsive lying is a cruel thing to do. There is no excuse, it is a way of controlling and mocking people like passive aggressive behavior but it is so blatant. It can really mess with people's heads and ruin lives. No excuse.

This Cheese guy is a whiner and a creep.

I want to hug you. Compulsive liars are highly destructive, and I feel like Cheese writes it off as if they are victims that deserve sympathy, and that makes me feel stabby.

Habitual Lying is a form of manipulating in many cases.

I don't buy into the popular notion of "cycle of abuse", "cycle of poverty", or the old, "I am poor, fat, on drugs, a criminal, etc........" because that's the way they were raised, after someone becomes an adult. It isn't always easy to overcome bad habits, but it absolutely can be done. In fact, BECAUSE they witnessed their mother get the shit beat out of her by every man she spawned with should be incentive enough to NOT repeat the behavior that allowed that to happen. If your parents were junk food junkies and you were a fat kid, for instance, it might not be easy to eat healthy and exercise properly as an adult because of the early habits that were formed. However, if you're 40 years old and have to be weighed on a fucking meat scale, it ceases to become the fault of your parents you are still a tub of lard.

I realized early on some of the habits of my parents weren't healthy in some way and I took steps to NOT fall into the same pattern. Of the few bad habits I failed to break, it is completely my OWN fault and no longer can reasonably be blamed on anyone but MYSELF.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

I've always liked John Cheese. His pity-the-perp-fuck-the-victim articles are very appropriate for a comedy site. The popularity of his work is well deserved, cuz after all, schmoozing with the owner makes your work much better than everyone else's. He doesn't deserve hate, he just fell on hard times that he caused himself!

Oh yea, he was a drunk, but he got better! It's not like the drunk mentality's still there or anything...

Of course no one is responsible for anything they do - we live in a wonderful society where most people learn that if ANYTHING goes wrong, it's always someone else's fault. Never their own. And walking hand in hand with that is the belief that if it's not your fault, you don't need to do anything to make it right. As a result, nobody has to take the blame for their own issues and that's just how we like it.

Parents are usually the first ones to blame for one's problems, but with the help of search engines, now people can type in their problem and find a nice diagnosis and blame their problems on that. A good example are the millions of children whose breeders claim to have autism and that's why they act like feral crack monkeys. Rather than Moo admitting her kid is a little bastard because she's a shitty parent, she'd rather find someone or something else to blame it on.

Another example - all the fat people who claim they have "thyroid problems." Now this is not to say that every one of them is lying - there are people with genuine thyroid issues that cause weight problems. But you get a lot of fatties sitting around wondering why they aren't losing weight because they pray for it every night, so obviously it's not their fault for not exercising or not dieting, it's GOT to be a disease. Obviously they must have hypothyroidism and that's what makes them so fat. Not their lifestyle. They never get checked for it either - they just use it as an excuse to continue being 500 pounds and doing nothing to change it.

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Compulsive lying is not something that should garner sympathy. Honestly, even the most abusive homes do not warrant lying about every single little thing. There is never any reason to lie abut every single little thing. But I can understand the need to tell fibs sometimes when your parents are fucked in the head.

I lied all the time to my mother (and I still do) because there were no normal punishments in the house when I was a kid, like "go to your room" and "you're grounded." It was hours of screaming bloody murder and everyone else in the house would start screaming, Mom would threaten to assault or kill my grandma if she said anything. I'm dead serious, I lied to keep my mother calm because I knew she was crazy enough to make good on her threats. But I think this is different from compulsive lying in the sense that there's no one-up-manship, no extreme stories, no lying about everything just because you can.

I'm not trying to say I'm somehow more special than the article, but just saying I get the need to lie if you grow up with nutcases. However, it's not something that should require regular use in a non-abusive lifestyle. And no, it is not an ingrained automatic response - it's something the person has total control over. Breathing is an automatic response. Feeling pain when you are injured is an automatic response. Lying about ANYTHING is not - it requires premeditation. Sometimes you can tell a good lie without prior planning, and other times you need to think it over and perfect your story, but at the end of the day, it's still a VOLUNTARY choice.

So if someone is lying every second of their lives, that's not a defense mechanism. That's just being a manipulative asshole. They like knowing they can control people through belief. It's exciting for them, like robbing a bank and never getting caught, being the puppet master pulling all the strings. And if you show them proof of their lies, then you get accused of being a liar. These people are not victims - they are abusers themselves.

I hate to say it, but I can also relate to the feeling of beating oneself up over trivial shit. And I do think it stems from the fact that my mother had a screaming shit fit over the dumbest things when I was a kid. Well, she still does. Everything must be an ordeal with her. Forgetting to do a homework assignment is something most normal parents wouldn't give two fucks about - it might warrant a, "Try to pay more attention." But if I forgot something or got below an 85 on an exam, ohhhh the screaming. I would lose my mind in high school and college if I didn't do too hot on a quiz or a project - I think at the end of every semester, I would say I was going to drop out because I got a B or a C on something. Thankfully, I have gotten better with this. A lot of stuff I've done for school in the last couple years has been spawned out of a "Whatever" mindset because I know as long as I turn something in, I won't fail. So much easier on my sanity.

Still, if you commit such behaviors, even if they are the result of being in a shitty, abusive, manipulative home, they remain YOUR problem and YOUR responsibility. None of these problems are things that are beyond someone's control - I think some people are just content to have an excuse to not fix themselves. Parents can be a convenient scapegoat - whether or not they actually caused the damage - because they are the ones who raised their children from the get-go. They were there during the crucial developmental moments, so they're first on the suspect list.

(/rant)

Ranty CF goodness (updated 3.23.2012)
Caffeinated Childfree

Cambion- I think our mothers must be sisters!
I know exactly what you have gone/are going through
with a mother who screams and makes every trivial thing into a fucking huge issue.
She still does this to me, and I'm 41.
And don't even get me started on my dad....