A curse for your ex

May his every attempt at breeding fail.
May every procedure cause him pain that would make the god weep.
May his pecker dry up and fall off.
May every womb he attempts to fertilize bare only bitter fruit.
May he die in a pool of his own misery and regret knowing the horrible mistakes he has made.

On the other hand...

May he have all the children he wants, and then some.
May he never have a disposable dime in his pocket.
May he never venture more than an hour away from home.
May he get a good price for all the grown up toys he has to sell.
May he get a good trade on that cool car for a used minivan.
May he enjoy the healthful benefits of insta-meals and fast food.
May he enjoy years of sticky surfaces, ruined furnature, unidentifiable odors, sex only for procreative purposes, gun locks, stretch pants and ponytails.
May he never experience a full nights rest until he gets a chance to sit in the garage with the minivan running and cries himself to sleep thinking about how he gave up his childfree past to buy into the sham of TMIJITW.

Feh, I always love your posts. Will you marry me?