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Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?

Posted by lorelei_diangelo 
Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 27, 2013
It's like the third post down from the top. I'll c/p it here so people don't have to scroll for it if they don't wanna.


Dear Prudie,

My boyfriend "Jake" and I have an adorable 11-month-old son. Our son is getting to a more impressionable age and I'm afraid Jake's immature behavior will rub off on him. Jake thinks its funny to talk as if he’s speaking for my son to say things like, "Shut up, Momma" or "Screw you." He will take my son’s arm and hit me in the face with it, making my son laugh. Jake uses profanity in front of him and exposes him to inappropriate videos and music. He thinks its funny to tease our son and make him cry. When he does cry or get upset, Jake laughs at him. I have explained to Jake that this behavior bothers me, but Jake just rolls his eyes. I'm feeling frustrated and have threatened to post things he’s doing on Facebook in hopes the humiliation will be a wake-up call. Am I overacting to his behavior or am I right to be concerned? If I’m right, how do I make Jake stop acting this way?

—Fed-Up Momma




If you ask me, the guy sounds like a potential wife-beater and a sociopath, but ol' Prudence disagrees.



Dear Fed-Up,

I get so many distressing letters from women in your situation, finding themselves having reproduced with boyfriends who are overgrown children, irresponsible and immature. Talk about The End of Men! You don't specify, but almost always the pregnancies were not planned, and were just something that happened. So please visit your gynecologist and discuss getting one of the new, highly reliable forms of birth control so that you don't accidentally double down with Jake. Yes, you are right to be concerned, because Jake’s behavior is nasty and destructive. But your idea of putting him in an electronic pillory and hoping the humiliation will reform him has me concerned about your own judgment. You two will both be helped by attending parenting classes together. Not only will these help give you the basics in raising your son, the lessons you both learn in empathy and dealing with frustration can be applied to your relationship. Don’t suggest this in a punitive way to Jake. Instead explain that now that you have become parents, you want to feel you are in this together and that you're the best mother and father possible to your son. Let’s hope Jake agrees and that learning about what’s going on in his son’s head will prompt him to realize it’s time he himself stopped acting like big baby.

—Prudie




Yet again, some piss-poor relationship advice thrown together all for the sake of, "being the best parents possible for your son". eyeroll These people both suck but the guy is definitely worse if you ask me, and the moo would likely be better off without him. Alas, she was too stupid to keep her legs closed or use birth control, so bed.made.lie
Re: Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 27, 2013
My advice would be:

Put the baby up for adoption. He is still little enough and if he is a White Healthy Boy, his changes are very high for a good family.

Leave idiot boyfriend.

Otherwise, the little one will become an abusive asshole. This moooh will never be able to enforce discipline on the kid if the duh undermine her. And really, somebody believe that the ahole boyfriend will go to parenting class? Yeah, me neither.

_______________________

“I was talking about children that have not been properly house-trained. Left to their own impulses and indulged by doting or careless parents almost all children are yahoos. Loud, selfish, cruel, unaffectionate, jealous, perpetually striving for attention, empty-headed, for ever prating or if words fail them simply bawling, their voices grown huge from daily practice: the very worst company in the world. But what I dislike even more than the natural child is the affected child, the hulking oaf of seven or eight that skips heavily about with her hands dangling in front of her -- a little squirrel or bunny-rabbit -- and prattling away in a baby's voice.”


― Patrick O'Brian, The Truelove


lib'-er-ty: the freedom given to you to make the wrong decision, based on the reasoned belief that you will normally make the right one.
Re: Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 27, 2013
How about leave Fratboy Douchebag in the dust and throw Abuser-in-Training at an adoption center where he belongs! Famblees like that NEVER end up well, no matter how many "classes" you throw at them!
Re: Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 27, 2013
She probably had the baybee thinking it would make him "grow up". Roll-Eyes
Re: Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 27, 2013
Quote
Ketchup
She probably had the baybee thinking it would make him "grow up". Roll-Eyes

Agreed! I highly doubt that the boyfriend devolved into an immature asshole the minute the kid was born.
Re: Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 27, 2013
you can't teach a douchebag like this emapthy And when the child is in the terrible twos they will lose the kid - duhdy's hand will see to that. As for BC, she won't do that becasue she'll want to fix the marriage with a second one - her little pink princess. And the cycle of family violence will go on.

_______________________________________________
'Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.'
Re: Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 27, 2013
I will bet that this asshole showed signs of passive aggressive behavior before the Cow got knocked up. And she ignored it or rationalized it.
Re: Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 27, 2013
These stupid little girls who have baby daddies don't know any fucking better - they need a mayun like they need cancer
Re: Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 27, 2013
Well, Prudence started out all right...calling the boyfriend the immature, cruel douche that he is (though I think he sounds more like a possible emotional abuser on top of that), and urged the letter writer to get some reliable birth control and NOT breed anymore. Good start. Then she dropped the ball. I'd say she needs to dump the motherfucker already and get him to sign off on adoption so the kid isn't raised in grinding poverty with every-other-weekend visitation with that asshole of a father. She should also look back at her dating track record ...make sure she doesn't make a pattern of this sort of relationship with immature dickbags. A little short-term with a therapist can help her unpack all that. Dude was not an angel before, I'm sure. She overlooked his immature dickbaggery for a reason...she needs to figure out why she went for it, and what behaviors on her part might have contributed to the cycle.
Re: Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 27, 2013
I cannot put into words how much I HATE guys like this! I am almost certain that he would be the type of good, upstanding guy that would lead a gang-rape of some poor, unconscious girl.

These frat-boy douches do not have ANY empathy for anyone else. The notion that they can be taught it is laughable.

I'll bet this guy was a bully all throughout his life.
Re: Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 27, 2013
This sounds like a lot of redneck families I grew up around in Florida. You know the type, where the wife meekly makes sandwiches while the husband says "Oh, Mama. The boy's three now. Let him have a Winchester 30.30. I did at his age. Didn't shoot my eye out, neither." The only difference is that she's smart enough to realize that he's a ... (hmm, don't want to insult the male phalus or feminine hygiene products here, nor that necessary human anus, or illegitimate people, or female dogs) ... and that the child is in danger of following suit.

Yet, she's stupid enough to sit around and compose letters to syndicated advice columnists who cannot really help her, instead of abandoning the moron, putting the child up for adoption, and getting on with her life.
Re: Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 27, 2013
If moomoo didn't consider this before taking his sperm, then she's just as immature and shitty as an influence.
Re: Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 27, 2013
Quote
Zzelda
I will bet that this asshole showed signs of passive aggressive behavior before the Cow got knocked up. And she ignored it or rationalized it.

Exactly. He didn't just wake up like that one day. He was an abusive jerk when she met him, before she got pregnant, during the pregnancy and now. Instead of leaving him she tried to "fix" him by making him a father. He probably never wanted the baby, but didn't have the nerve to ask her to get an abortion so now he's using the baby to express his anger and resentment.

When they have a shrieking 2-year-old on their hands instead of a cute, docile baby, this guy will either leave or end up "accidentally" smacking the kid across the room.
Re: Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 27, 2013
I bet if the brat was a female, Duh would have fuck all to do with it - not even to slap Moo with Junior's hands. This guy sounds like he never matured past age 16 - he sounds like one of those Duhs who, if forced to watch his pweshus progeny, would call all the guys over to feed the kid beer or shots and video tape it because it's funny.

Outing the prick on Fakebook won't do anything to make the situation better. Considering this man's maturity level, I think it would just make the behavior worse because he'd try to get revenge on Moo for ruining his fun. Or he'd skip using Junior's hands and just slap Moo across the face with his own hands.

Yes she does have a right to be concerned about the asshole's behavior because when the kid hits the terrible twos and gets more bratty, Duh will probably encourage the bad behavior just so he can punish the kid. Or encourage Bratley to be a shit to drive Moo nuts, contradict everything Moo says, etc. But there's no way this guy just became a prick overnight - he was like this long before he met Moo and, for whatever reason, she fucked him and sluiced his bastard. Maybe she thought a loaf would serve as a heaping case of Carnation Instant Maturity for her loser boyfriend.

She needs to dump his ass and just give the kid away...though she best do it as secretly as possible because Duh will likely put up a huge fight to prevent her from doing so just to be an ass. She can always say she has no idea who the father is so she won't need to get Duh's permission. Methinks Junior is far better off being state property than being raised by these two retards. Duh sounds like nothing more than a bully and giving him access to a child just means he'll have two people to push around rather than one.

Ranty CF goodness (updated 1.10.2014)
Caffeinated Childfree
Re: Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 27, 2013
Not much I can add here except that moo is also being oversensitive. How are music and videos inappropriate for a loaf that can't understand them anyway???
Re: Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 27, 2013
That guy is definitely the type that would teach a toddler swear words because he thinks it's the most hilarious thing ever. I can imagine the boy as a three-year-old telling his mommy to "go fuck herself" while his father is laughing his ass off.
Re: Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 28, 2013
Cambion, I love "Carnation Instant Maturity" smiling
Re: Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 29, 2013
Quote
toomanybrats


These frat-boy douches do not have ANY empathy for anyone else. The notion that they can be taught it is laughable.

I'll bet this guy was a bully all throughout his life.

The number of bloody bodies I've treated because of these scumbags never ceases to amaze me.

I remember years ago as a volunteer reading in the local paper how the local university du jour greek council and athletic departments had donated OMG $18,000 to the community through out the year via blood drives and toy drives and feed the homeless on two holidays, various dances and other feel good but do no lasting good things.

Sure they donated 18 large but ditched out on well over $50,000 in unpaid ambulance billings. That is a huge amount to a volunteer squad. It hurt us hard. Not to mention the costs to the local volunteer fire departments, increased Law enforcement costs passed on the taxpayer, unpaid ER visits, vandalism and other crime costs, unreported rapes (I transported more than one of these), shop lifting costs, neighborhood clean up costs and more. An account who was one of volunteers in just fiddling around estimated the dollar figure at well over 7 figures.

Doesn't sound like such a great deal to me. Sure they play at empathy but when it comes down to it, their kids, their community, their family pays the cost of that bouncing reality check.

_______________________________________________
'Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.'
Re: Dear Prudie: the father of my kid is an immature fuckbag; should I be worried for our son?
January 29, 2013
Quote
thom_c
Quote
toomanybrats


These frat-boy douches do not have ANY empathy for anyone else. The notion that they can be taught it is laughable.

I'll bet this guy was a bully all throughout his life.

The number of bloody bodies I've treated because of these scumbags never ceases to amaze me.

I remember years ago as a volunteer reading in the local paper how the local university du jour greek council and athletic departments had donated OMG $18,000 to the community through out the year via blood drives and toy drives and feed the homeless on two holidays, various dances and other feel good but do no lasting good things.

Sure they donated 18 large but ditched out on well over $50,000 in unpaid ambulance billings. That is a huge amount to a volunteer squad. It hurt us hard. Not to mention the costs to the local volunteer fire departments, increased Law enforcement costs passed on the taxpayer, unpaid ER visits, vandalism and other crime costs, unreported rapes (I transported more than one of these), shop lifting costs, neighborhood clean up costs and more. An account who was one of volunteers in just fiddling around estimated the dollar figure at well over 7 figures.

Doesn't sound like such a great deal to me. Sure they play at empathy but when it comes down to it, their kids, their community, their family pays the cost of that bouncing reality check.

Oh, I HATE the ways these non-humans view and treat women. They are playthings to them.

The word "NO" does not apply to these fucking, shit-for-brains, motherfucking, useless wastes of oxygen!

Yet, after her frat-boy asshole son rapes some girl, moo will STILL INSIST that he is a "good boy" and he "made a mistake". Yeah. moo. Say that to the women these assholes brutalize.
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