Mother's Day Smothering

What better day to have a huge ass list of stories from The Commode than on Moo Day? (Well, I started compiling the list while it was still the 12th, anyway)

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r Article on a device called the Squatty Potty, which allows a person (not just kids, it seems) to squat over a toilet to relieve themselves. Because humans are not meant to sit and shit, but squat and shit. Yes, because women who squat to piss obviously have so much success landing their waste in the toilet. Anyone who has ever gone into a bathroom after a squatter has been in there knows it because there is piss and shit all over the floor, walls and seat. If you use this for a kid, does that mean you have to take the stool everywhere in public so the child has something to stand on? What if they go to someone else's house and attempt to squat and make a mess? Sitting on toilets has served humans well for decades. I see no reason why this is necessary. Plus, this Squatty Potty thing costs between $40 and $80 before shipping. The bamboo one is $80.
http://www.mothering.com/community/a/sitting-or-squatting-whats-really-best-in-the-bathroom?utm_source=featured&utm_medium=sitewide&utm_content=logged+out&utm_campaign=featured+content

:bdid Toadler is a runner and bolts off all the time, won't listen to NO (big shock). What should Moo do? I'd just let his dumb ass get run over by a bus, but hey, that's why I'm not a Moo. Someone suggests playing "red light, green light" because Junior seems to think running off is a game. If he won't listen to NO, why would he listen to "red light?" At least some of these morons have half a brain cell and suggest a leash. If the fucker won't listen, keep his ass on a leash like the animal he is.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1382203/ds-is-a-runner

Moo's 11-year-old tard decides he doesn't want to get ready for school after years of doing so just fine, and Moo is so sad that she almost spanked him. I just love reading these stories of these GD hogs and how bad they are ITCHING to beat the piss out of their kids. It's like an addict in withdrawal - that bratty little ass is right there and it would only take a second for hand-to-cheek contact. It's also interesting to note that parents who spank are bitched out on the site, but Moos who "slip" and "accidentally" spank get their assholes and udders licked as long as they admit regret. I bet you anything they don't actually regret it, but they just say they do to stay in their little GD tree house.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1382365/im-at-my-wits-end-with-my-11-year-old

: Kid makes bullshit demands, like multiple glasses of the same drink at dinner time, or for Moo to make the sun less bright. Moo seems to think he likes to hear NO so he can throw a tantrum. Again, this being gentle discipline, they use words and discussion of feelings...obviously this has worked swimmingly because the brat will pick up heavy objects and throw them at his siblings' heads. If I had a child like this, I'd get brass knuckles that spell out NO and punch him right in the ass anytime he threw a fit.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1381682/when-a-child-seemingly-cannot-accept-no-for-an-answer

I think someone posted this before about the 14-year-old that bashes his sister in the head with a 2x4. The mother actually seemed to be a parent and grounded him, taking away all electronics, computer, phone, and making him do chores for 10 days. Also, for 6 more months (until he's 15), no friends over, computer security is set to allow religious and educational sites only, and some other stuff. Of course the other Mombies say this is too harsh, it will damage him forever, and other stupid shit. But, shockingly, some Moos say the punishment is appropriate. I think this is the most cerebral function I have ever seen on Smothering.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1376320/im-so-angry-at-my-14yr-old-updated

Moo's 7-year-old is smarter than she is. Moo refuses to vaccinate, but since Junior has already had measles and CP (I don't know what that is), the kid says he would rather have shots than be sick. Moo won't let him get vaxed because she feels the vaccines are worse than the viruses they cause. IMO this is child neglect, no better than refusing to take a sick child to a doctor.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1383247/my-son-wants-shots

:goggle Moo has a child with a real winner: Duh molests 5-year-old regularly, but somehow, Moo gets put in jail and Duh gets custody, so the abuse will continue. I don't know WTF went on to cause that decision to be reached, but hopefully the poor kid can get therapy one day or go to a home that is not abusive.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1382811/my-little-boy-is-gone-warning-possibly-triggering

This is something all the Moos of running brats should read. Granted, this kid didn't run and was just standing beside the famblee car, but he was still plowed over by a Navigator and killed. What's worse, Moos? Damaging your child's non-existent dignity and self-esteem with a harness, or having them become a blood stain in a parking lot?
http://www.bramxavier.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2012-01-01T00:00:00-07:00&updated-max=2013-01-01T00:00:00-07:00&max-results=9

d Moos swap weird money-saving tips, and for a bit, the topic derails when someone mentions the only friend she trusted to watch her kids has a pedophile husband she won't leave. They have a foster son, but Duhddy seems interested only in little girls, so the Moo of Chester seems to think he'll leave Sonny Boy alone because he has a penis.
http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1381882/what-are-your-weirdest-money-saving-tips

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Happy Non-Mother's Day. We can all take comfort in knowing we will never personally have to deal with any of this shit. :drkbddy

Ever notice how breeders Always have to have Money Saving Tips? Oh my, we people without the kids are So Rich!

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mr. neptune
Ever notice how breeders Always have to have Money Saving Tips? Oh my, we people without the kids are So Rich!

larious larious larious larious Yeah...that's why I shop at Walmart and use coupons, I'm so rich!

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Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

(Shameless blog promotion: http://popcornculturejunkie.wordpress.com/)

(Cornucopia of visual rantage: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD78oSD27mzAlVzsB0q2ibA)

CP...Cerebral Palsy...Child Porn...or most likely Chicken Pox.

I hate the no-vax-crunchy-moo set. If her kid had rubella he is around some serious germs because that is far less common in the US than measles or pertussis. I also wonder if this crazy moo knows that rubella is a major cause of birth defects, to the point if an inpig woman gets it a lot of time they will recommend she abort if it is in the first trimester. I also notice she had a home birth but still had "post-partum psychosis" and seems to still have it. There seems to be a duh in the picture and he is an idiot for not throwing a fit about this issue. Poor kid.

IMHO, all immunizations should be required by law, or face high level child abuse charges.

These vaccines were developed for a reason.

Article on a device called the Squatty Potty, which allows a person (not just kids, it seems) to squat over a toilet to relieve themselves. Because humans are not meant to sit and shit, but squat and shit. Yes, because women who squat to piss obviously have so much success landing their waste in the toilet. Anyone who has ever gone into a bathroom after a squatter has been in there knows it because there is piss and shit all over the floor, walls and seat. If you use this for a kid, does that mean you have to take the stool everywhere in public so the child has something to stand on? What if they go to someone else's house and attempt to squat and make a mess? Sitting on toilets has served humans well for decades. I see no reason why this is necessary. Plus, this Squatty Potty thing costs between $40 and $80 before shipping. The bamboo one is $80.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this commentary! I don't know why, but the poop-related stuff from this board just makes me laugh so hard and I really am not a 13 year old boy. I think it is just how how hyped up these people get over pooping. How much time in a 24 hour period can somebody devote to thinking about their poop posture? How many times a day do they take a dump and why are they sitting on toilet long enough for this to make a difference? Even before indoor plumbing people built outhouses and presumably sat in there. I don't see people living out in the middle of nowhere circa 1850 worrying about squatting for their colon health. Also, that thing is unsanitary even if just left in the home. Sitting below the toilet like that with people hovering I'm just imagining every fecal-borne illness in the world circulating around the house. It is a thousand times more unsanitary if they are dragging it around public restrooms. OK, grossed my self out. Must go wash hands and stop thinking about poop.

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Cambion
This is something all the Moos of running brats should read. Granted, this kid didn't run and was just standing beside the famblee car, but he was still plowed over by a Navigator and killed. What's worse, Moos? Damaging your child's non-existent dignity and self-esteem with a harness, or having them become a blood stain in a parking lot?
http://www.bramxavier.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2012-01-01T00:00:00-07:00&updated-max=2013-01-01T00:00:00-07:00&max-results=9

Call me a bitch but suffice it to say, if your kyd does not even make it to puberty because of your negligence, you're a shit parent.

I read the entry where she describes how the kyd was turned into road pizza and says how the driver of the Lincoln "won't receive justice" and that that person will just go back to their normal life and forget.

I promise you they won't forget. By letting their little shithead stand around in the drive areas of a parking lot, they've irreversibly damaged a complete stranger's life as well as let their child get killed. If a car can normally drive someplace (road, parking lot), your kyd should not be standing in that space, loitering in that space, running in that space, mining up its nose in that space, or be anywhere near that space. Two solid objects cannot share the same space. This is basic physics. Learn it and don't put your kid in a situation that might possibly require it to compete for space with a 1500lb moving vehicle, moos.

Ugh, I still don't think any "money-saving tip" beats the "family cloth." Let's have the whole house wipe with the same rag instead of buying toilet paper! Blech. Though I bet no one in such houses gets C-diff since they're all sharing shit.

@juniper, ohhh yeah! Sometimes I forget chickenpox can be vaccinated against. Though I wonder where a 7-year-old child belonging to an anti-vax Moo learned what vaccines are and that they can help you not get sick. If I was his teacher or relative, I'd be calling CPS on Moo for child neglect. Her kid has contracted not one, but TWO preventable childhood viruses. He needs to be vaxed against the rest of them. The fact that she can look her child in the face and say she would rather he suffer and be sick for weeks/months than get a fucking shot is sickening. I don't even know this goddamn kid and I care more about him and his well-being than his Moo does.

I also don't get the obsession over there with shit! What is the fucking allure that these Moos all sit around and discuss their kids' toilet habits? Not to mention that toilet stool looks like it could easily fall forward. It doesn't lock around the base of the toilet, and consider how most kids have big heads, small bodies, and no sense of balance. I could easily see a toadler squatting like a dog and faceplanting on the bathroom floor because the stool fell out from under them, and if an adult wanted to squat, I don't see why they'd need a stool for it. An adult of average height can straddle a toilet just fine. Basically, another genius who knows they can cash in on idiot Moos.

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Also, just now seeing the picture of the famblee of the dead toadler. GODS what an ugly fucking bunch! Duh looks like his parents were related before they were married. I'm guessing the dead one is the one with no teeth on the left. And no, the driver doesn't get to breathe a sigh of relief; sure, they may not have been punished (which is good because it was an ACCIDENT), but does Moo honestly think the driver isn't going to tear herself up knowing she mowed down and killed someone? For all we know, the driver might need to be in therapy to try and forgive herself. I bet Moo still tried to sue the woman or get her thrown in jail for manslaughter.

I also love the way Moo shoots down everything people told her to do differently. Seems like she did everything just perfect, but Junior still got hit. I have a feeling, like most Moos, this one is doing a little lying by omission. I'm trying to picture things based on Moo's story - if the kid was standing right next to the famblee car, how did another vehicle enter the parking lot and hit the kid, but not the famblee's car? If all the kids were standing together, why was only one of them struck? From the....charming family photo that tops the blog page, there were two other mobile children.

By no means am I making fun of the kid's death, but I think moo and Duh were not as vigilant with watching their brood as Moo makes it out to be. I could easily see how someone in a Navigator could miss a two-year-old - Navigators are fucking tanks. This is not the driver's fault.

This line...

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He was never afraid to be bold, or silly, or run in the mud. He was always willing to try new things. He held his opinions for sure, but he was open to different ideas.

...makes me think Junior bolted off and got hit while Duh Only Looked Away For A Second^TM.

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Cambion
Ugh, I still don't think any "money-saving tip" beats the "family cloth." Let's have the whole house wipe with the same rag instead of buying toilet paper! Blech. Though I bet no one in such houses gets C-diff since they're all sharing shit.

Crunchy breeders are vile savages.

I'm about to lose my snack

My fiancé sent me a link to the squatty potty commercial, which I originally thought was a joke. I still watch it for a laugh sometimes.

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Cambion
Article on a device called the Squatty Potty, which allows a person (not just kids, it seems) to squat over a toilet to relieve themselves. Because humans are not meant to sit and shit, but squat and shit. Yes, because women who squat to piss obviously have so much success landing their waste in the toilet. Anyone who has ever gone into a bathroom after a squatter has been in there knows it because there is piss and shit all over the floor, walls and seat. If you use this for a kid, does that mean you have to take the stool everywhere in public so the child has something to stand on? What if they go to someone else's house and attempt to squat and make a mess? Sitting on toilets has served humans well for decades. I see no reason why this is necessary. Plus, this Squatty Potty thing costs between $40 and $80 before shipping. The bamboo one is $80.
http://www.mothering.com/community/a/sitting-or-squatting-whats-really-best-in-the-bathroom?utm_source=featured&utm_medium=sitewide&utm_content=logged+out&utm_campaign=featured+content

Hi Cambion:

Actually, you'd be surprised how long sitting down has been popular. Most people think that humans squatted to pee/shit throughout history until the invention of the modern sit-down flush toilet in the Renaissance (Sir John Harrington developed one in the early 1600s, and of course others like George Jennings and Thomas Crapper made their own 19th century versions). But as you can see from the pictures in this Gizmodo piece, even the Ancient Romans had sit-down type toilets, back as far as 2,000 years ago. Running water below kept things clean while you sat down on the stone commodes...some of us have been sitting down for longer than people think! And I agree, people who squat over modern day sit-down toilets make a disgusting mess over everything. Is it really so hard to line the seat with TP before you go?

Gizmodo's Toilet History

Ancient Roman Sit-Down Toilets

Arielle