I understand that. At least you had a dad around (albeit he was a nudge about wanting kids.)
I too had a mom that I eventually gave the nickname 'bitchmouth'. We get along pretty well now, I gave her a lesson at age 24 when I simply left because she was becoming so ... extreme, or whatever; to this day I don't know what was really happening to her. Menopause?
My own observations of her and my conclusions would most likely fill a small book.
My mom was the product of a 'little princess', and was farmed around to relatives to raise because her little queen moo didn't want the agravation of a child. She came from an unstable background, so it was no surprise that she chose an unstable situation herself.
She picked an arty party, drunkard, irresponsible psychiatrist to shack up with. I have no idea if I was an 'oopsie, deliberate or otherwise. Bottom line was, he walked out. (I tend to think she made it so miserable that it aided his decision to leave.) It was part of a pattern where she create(s)d so she would come off as the 'poor little victim' and I became part of that whole little plot. Poor me, I have a kid to raise and horrible daddy walked out. (She wasn't married to him; no real obligation to stay. He didn't even pay child support hardly. Don't get me wrong, he was equally to blame; however if my mom hadn't made herself available to be used like an unpaid whore (which shack ups primarily are) a lot of the crap wouldn't have happened. (I wouldn't be here for one thing..)
That ultimately was the bottom line, mom playing the victim, and as Lady Cooper said, engineering fights, situations where I was victimizing her (dad took me to puerto rico when I was @ age 14 for a few days, trying to be nice to me... when I got back I had to listen to bitchmouth for over 2 hours go on and on about how I was abandoning her, turning my back on her, etc etc etc). Of course, this had the desired effect that I was driven away, not by him but by her. From this point on, this became the modus operandi. Mom did more to drive me away than anything else but she never never never could own up to anything she did.
Like I said, I could go on and on, there were a few horrendous episodes scattered here and there, almost up to the point I left (she never could figure out why I left, she blamed everyone else.) I have had an adequate life, enjoyed what I have done. However, I never liked kids (I don't think I liked myself.. I wonder why), and I certainly did not have a very good example on how to be a mother, and I sure as hell wasn't going to perpetuate moms hell down to another generation. I don't think this bothers her.
Oddly enuf, I'm staying with her, I live downstairs and try to take care of things. Whatever went on when she was around 50 or so seems to have passed. I inherit it all and revenge is a dish best served cold.