#999

I understand that. At least you had a dad around (albeit he was a nudge about wanting kids.)
I too had a mom that I eventually gave the nickname 'bitchmouth'. We get along pretty well now, I gave her a lesson at age 24 when I simply left because she was becoming so ... extreme, or whatever; to this day I don't know what was really happening to her. Menopause?
My own observations of her and my conclusions would most likely fill a small book.
My mom was the product of a 'little princess', and was farmed around to relatives to raise because her little queen moo didn't want the agravation of a child. She came from an unstable background, so it was no surprise that she chose an unstable situation herself.
She picked an arty party, drunkard, irresponsible psychiatrist to shack up with. I have no idea if I was an 'oopsie, deliberate or otherwise. Bottom line was, he walked out. (I tend to think she made it so miserable that it aided his decision to leave.) It was part of a pattern where she create(s)d so she would come off as the 'poor little victim' and I became part of that whole little plot. Poor me, I have a kid to raise and horrible daddy walked out. (She wasn't married to him; no real obligation to stay. He didn't even pay child support hardly. Don't get me wrong, he was equally to blame; however if my mom hadn't made herself available to be used like an unpaid whore (which shack ups primarily are) a lot of the crap wouldn't have happened. (I wouldn't be here for one thing..)
That ultimately was the bottom line, mom playing the victim, and as Lady Cooper said, engineering fights, situations where I was victimizing her (dad took me to puerto rico when I was @ age 14 for a few days, trying to be nice to me... when I got back I had to listen to bitchmouth for over 2 hours go on and on about how I was abandoning her, turning my back on her, etc etc etc). Of course, this had the desired effect that I was driven away, not by him but by her. From this point on, this became the modus operandi. Mom did more to drive me away than anything else but she never never never could own up to anything she did.
Like I said, I could go on and on, there were a few horrendous episodes scattered here and there, almost up to the point I left (she never could figure out why I left, she blamed everyone else.) I have had an adequate life, enjoyed what I have done. However, I never liked kids (I don't think I liked myself.. I wonder why), and I certainly did not have a very good example on how to be a mother, and I sure as hell wasn't going to perpetuate moms hell down to another generation. I don't think this bothers her.
Oddly enuf, I'm staying with her, I live downstairs and try to take care of things. Whatever went on when she was around 50 or so seems to have passed. I inherit it all and revenge is a dish best served cold.

two cents, I myself had an off and on bitch of a mother, she occasionally physically abusive. things are getting a lot better though. We're becoming friends.

If I ever get my tubes tied (and it will be when I'm married) I'm going to look my doctor in the eye and say, "There is a 90% chance of any child I have being mentally ill. There is a suicide once every generation on my father's side of the family. I've been chronically, severely depressed since age 8. This is genetic. You have to understand that. And telling me that having a baby would give me something to live for would be like believing that if a junkie has a child, it would motivate them to stay off the smack. It won't happen. I'm not going to have an innocent person suffer like I did."

What makes me CF?
I JUST AM. I just don't want kids. I have no interest in being a mother. I don't hate kids. I just have no desire to be a parent. Winning the lottery wouldn't change my mind. If my boyfriend caught a bad case of baby rabies (which might be a slim possibility), I still would not change my mind. I may not have done a lot of things that I want to do in my life, but I do know that I won't be somebody I'm not.

I am childfree because I hate kids with a passion and I have absolutely no patience with them. I was forced to baby-sit my five-year-old cousin many times and it took everything I had in me not to strangle her. I would kill myself or someone else if I had to care for a child all the time. Also, I think a contributing factor to some extent was my ex-boyfriend trying to change my mind about having his kids - he would tell me I was wrong and that he was right for wanting kids, even though he admitted that he didn't like them.

I know I would make a horrible parent and would be one of those Moos who neglect their kids to death and live on the internet. I stand by my decision, and I do not see a change coming about in this lifetime. I have been bingoed by almost all my friends because I'm so young - the one I get from everyone is "You'll change your mind". Bullshit. I have never been known to change my mind once it's so set on something.

I refuse to succumb and produce shit loaves just to prove to myself and to everyone that I was right about being an awful mother. Also, heaven knows if the profession I want to get into would pay enough to support a sprog (I want to get into graphic design and probably comic books). If I have extra money, I want it to go toward stuff I want, not shit for some brat.

i had a good childhood, no abuse or anything like that, my cfness grew on me over time, i now cant stand 90% of all kids, as they are rude, annoying, swearing every other word, spitting, hanging around bullying people. and of course being woken up every weeking at 8 am by kids playing football (i dont mean casual theres at least 8 teams on the back field within shouting distance of my bed)..

i like things in the right place, if they arent i get into a mood till i can find it. this is why i would be a bad dad, someone said that to me you may change your mind, i said was just in the right mood, so you know my mind better than i do, do you i KNOW what i know, and this is one of those things that will never change. it shut them up

I guess I didn't really mean "why are you childfree?", that was more rhetorical, I'll save that for another posting, I meant more of family influences that may have cemented your already made decision to be CF, and I just needed to get it off my chest.

Mine's a family influence, that's for damn sure.

Although I did have a good childhood, over the years I often saw some resentment/bitterness come from my mother to me. My parents "had" to get married (it was 1966) and I think she feels that I am the reason she had to give up a lot of things. My parents were great parents and had a good marrige but I often wonder where this bitterness comes from. This is not the reason I am CF, though. I am CF for the many thousands of reasons we've all talked about on this board.

I just don't like kids enough to have any around constantly. I know myself well enough to know that I am a totally selfish person who would constantly put my needs and wants before those of my kid, and I'm smart enough to know that is not a good way to raise a child.

Sorry dudes, but I don't trust that any fellow is capable of doing at least half the work of caring for any people we might create. I see that all the time with even my "enlightened" childed friends who supposedly share household duties. Mom still ends up staying with the kid most of the time, while Dad is hanging out at my house playing video games and drinking beers with my boyfriend. If I ended up in such a situation, I know a mental breakdown would be close at hand.

Oh, did I mention that I hate today's society in general? I don't like that certian folks want everything to be air-bagged, searched, or monitored. I fear that in 3 years, all children and most drivers will have to wear helmets while riding in vehicles and in 6 years all vehicles will be constantly tracked with GPS implants. I don't trust my governemnt to not eradicate humanity by accident.

I guess I just don't understand why it isn't enough to tell someone that you know you aren't cut out for parenting? I mean, who knows you better than you? Some sleep-deprived, goo-covered, fighting off some mysterious illness parent? Not likely. Your "I've got 4 minutes to examine you" doctor? Highly doubtful. Your parents who are just seeking their revenge for raising you? Maybe, but probably not.

it will be worse that a car having gps, we will have them implanted. so we can be monitored, for the sake of the children.. no doubt

My mother was holy hell on wheels. Physically and emotionally abusive, neglectful, even tried to kill me. She never wanted me from the start. When she was pregnant with me, she would hit her stomach as hard as she could, and finally confessed to me, when I was 24, that she would have aborted me, but my father would not let her. She made my life a living hell for years, and still hates me to this day.

I knew I was CF from a VERY young age. I was telling my father at 6 that I would never breed. I saw no percentage in it whatsoever, even at that age. I didn't like kids then, and resented when adults would tell me to 'go outside and play with the kids your own age'. I'd just sit and read, or listen to music. I remember being 12, and being inside cleaning the house with the radio on whilst the kids were outside playing. I remember going to a party with my parents when I was about 7, and ending up playing Uno with all the adults whilst the kids screamed and played in the back room. I remember the adults calling me a card shark, LOL. I really could play. Even when I was a kid, I didn't like the loud, violent ways that kids tend to play, and wanted no part of it.