I can't handle my children, and I need help

From the BML files:

http://www.cafemom.com/group/115189/forums/read/18679871/I_cant_handle_my_children_and_I_need_help

Sux to be moo

First, welcome to the forum, notaparunt :1welcome

While it's fun and full of schadenfreude to read these cafemoo (and other) links, it is customary to provide some of your own commentary, thoughts when inviting others to do the same.

Yup, sure does suck to be her.

This exact shit is one reason why I'm not raising any of my own. Toddlers/preschoolers annoy the CRAP out of me. They make no sense, they can't handle their feelings, they have zero volume control or sense of social boundaries, and as a result of all this, they generally can't handle the larger world.

And this mom has no choice but to forge on and be the strong adult this kid needs. She has to spend precious time figuring out what's gotten up this kid's tree and how to undo it. Bleah.

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randomcfchick

They make no sense, they can't handle their feelings, they have zero volume control or sense of social boundaries, and as a result of all this, they generally can't handle the larger world.

This is what makes me wonder how humanity ever flourished? How did stone age human groups even cope with this? Every preditor for miles would be alerted by the screaming toadlers. They were beyond a liability. Other animals' young instinctively know how to be silent or hide in their den for safety, not humans. I don't know how our ancestors even stayed alive long enough to become us. And those moo hormones must be the best drugs on earth, or there's no anciet woman who wouldn't have dropped the first fit throwing toadler off the nearest cliff and moved on, no consequences to be had.

I imagine that natural selection played a huge role back then. Shrieking, fit-throwing little proto-humans were probably more likely to be picked off. Same goes for ones that ran away from the tribe. They'd be saber-tooth snacks.

Now, they just get leashed, put in time-out, spanked, or scooped up by their parents (if they have parents who don't tolerate this shit--all the other toddlers just get reasoned with, nursed, or cooed over when they melt down).

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randomcfchick
Now, they just get leashed, put in time-out, spanked, or scooped up by their parents

Or, if you look at some of the responses, they "negotiate" with the toddler and draw up a contract. Or, the give the brat a pill and call it a day.

One wonders just how long before her precious children are diagnosed with ADHDADDOCDODD

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Whina-moo
In just the first hour of this morning, my four year old got mad at me, tried to pummel me with his litle [sic] fists, when I held his wrists so he couldn't, he decided to headbutt me in the face, causing a bloody nose and one hell of a headache, while my two year old is screaming at the TOP of his lungs.

Hrrmmm... did you try listing them on ebay yet?

"Slightly used unwanted kids, kinda bratty, NO RESERVE!!! L@@K!!!
[I didn't think before I sprogged! Halp!]"

Yeah, that's another great reason I don't have kids. Some brat gives me a bloody nose after I ruined my insides and outsides to give IT life? I'd throw the damn thing across the room. And promptly go to jail for chyuld abuse.

If my kid ever did that shit (hypothetically speaking, of course), I'd feed that little bastard to the nearest bear. Fuck the little crotch demon bastards. And people wonder why I had my tubes tied...fuck that noise! To ANY lurking moos: Fuck yourselves with any (or all) of the following objects: chainsaw, cactus with long needles, 1 grit sandpaper OR a porcupine.

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Whina-moo
In just the first hour of this morning, my four year old got mad at me, tried to pummel me with his litle [sic] fists, when I held his wrists so he couldn't, he decided to headbutt me in the face, causing a bloody nose and one hell of a headache, while my two year old is screaming at the TOP of his lungs.

Funny how these kids have never been smacked or spanked, and yet they still manage to turn out violent.

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gwdzee
Funny how these kids have never been smacked or spanked, and yet they still manage to turn out violent.

I wonder about that too. All these Moos ever have to say is "You can't teach a child to not hit by hitting them." Well, not beating them to a pulp sure isn't helping. I don't know of a single kid who is physically punished that has the balls to hit their parents; what smacking a brat shows them is that Moo/Duh is the bigger, stronger person and it hurts when they hit. In fact, I'd say spanking would do a lot more to show a kid how much it hurts to hit someone because they get to experience it first-hand (no pun intended) from the receiving end.

And Gawd help any little fucker that gave me a bloody nose. I would take that fucker and break their little fucking neck right over my knee. When someone or something hurts me, I immediately enter rage mode and any kid that caused me to get that way would probably not live to regret it. No kid is worth going to jail over...yet another reason I don't have kids. I know I'd lose it the first time they act up and I'm not getting a life sentence for teaching some little brat a lesson.

I bet this bitch's idea of spanking is the lightest little tap on the ass. Since she's bawwww anti-spanking, her version of it is most likely ineffective. It's rare when consistent spanking does not get results. Kids don't like being in pain, so when they associate misbehaving with pain, guess what? They quit fucking misbehaving, and if they don't, you hit them harder. This bitch is just a piss-poor spineless excuse for a parent that's too scared of not being her kids' BFF that she half-asses disciplining them.

@crazy old crone, funnily enough I wrote a long-winded rant about that very thing recently. I too wonder how in the fuck we survived as a species. Those happy hormones released during childbirth wear off eventually, and I fail to see why primitive humans wouldn't just leave the screaming tards to the predators while everyone else escaped.

This sounds almost exactly like someone I know.
Her problem is that she never takes her wild screeching beasties out of the house to run it off, and lets them eat sugar all day on top of that.
Hard to tell when these "poor young mawmees" are telling the whole story. I bet there's a LOT she's leaving out.

Jeeez. Every so often, more often than not lately it seems, a Drama-Mama post comes along which is so filled with FAIL it's impossible to just make a single comment and move on in good conscience. So, I have to use my handy scalpel on the whole damned thing in an effort to do it justice..fuck


It's too fucking much. For the past.. five months? My two boys, aged two and four, have been INSANE. And to make matters worse, they only behave this way for me. Up until this point, they've been your typical kids, good for the most part, too smart for their own good, getting into trouble about average. Clue one is they, "...only behave this way for me", Clue two is they are ages," TWO and FOUR", and Clue three is, "...five months" this has been going on. These are toddlers, for God's sake, why not pick them up when they throw shit, start howling, and/or cause her bodily harm, and smack them on their asses? THEN, lock them in their room for an hour or so until they can come out and not hit her, at the very least! Apparently they respond to other adults who they sense aren't milquetoast, so in this case it is the Moo's fault they are little heathens. WHO is in charge here? Advice comment #1-TAKE CHARGE and be a parent, not a friend

Now, I've dealt with some serious misbehavior before, but this.. this is beyond anything I've ever SEEN before, and I am so far past my limit I don't know how I'm still holding on. In just the first hour of this morning, my four year old got mad at me, tried to pummel me with his litle fists, when I held his wrists so he couldn't, he decided to headbutt me in the face, causing a bloody nose and one hell of a headache, while my two year old is screaming at the TOP of his lungs (remember, first thing in the morning, I'm sure our neighbors LOVE us at this point) because he can't have gum, my four year old is screaming now, too, and decides now's a good time to throw his toy box, full of toys, at me.'Pummeling" with fists, throwing toys, and causing her a fucking bloody nose? You have got to be kidding me! She needs to take charge, NOW, before it's too late for those boys, society, and Moo herself as those kids are a fucking menace!Advice comment #2-Pay attention to, "Spare the rod-spoil the child" and spank the dog shit out of them each and every time they ATTEMPT to physically attack you!

Every day now it's like this. Almost every minute, too. I'm trying SO hard. I've tried re-direction, I've tried time-outs, I've remained calm, I've done behavior charts, I've even tried spanking, which I'm pretty against (for my family, that is). I've tried each of these things consistently. NOTHING is working, and like I said, they only behave this way for me. The only thing those little bastards need "redirecting" to is a LONG "time out" locked in their rooms with no toys. I agree she should "remain calm", WHILE she is smacking them on the ass! "Behavior charts", I don't EVEN know what to say about those other than they need to be tossed into the garbage.Advice comment #3- Stop fucking around with all this Crunchy Moo-Mumbo-Jumbo and start acting like a parent instead! :headbrick

Even when they're not being crazy, it's CONSTANT backtalk, and looking right at me while they do something that not only do they KNOW they aren't supposed to do, but I'm TELLING them five hundred times to STOP doing, telling me no, screaming at me that they don't love me, trying tobreak things on purpose. Every day. This is not an exaggeration. Advice comment #4-If they "KNOW" they aren't supposed to do whatever it is, then no amount of telling them is going to work, as she has already proven. Apparently the only thing these boys will understand is what she has NOT tried and that is a hard spanking, getting locked in their rooms with no toys, and after she has broken them down THEN discuss the matter. Make it known, and enforce, clearly what the consequences are for bad behavior and ALWAYS follow through.

I know this is mom confessions, rife with people attacking people, and I expect some snarkiness. But I also hope that some of you will take pity on this young mother, who is trying so hard to do everything right by her boys, but is feeling absolutely hopeless at this moment and going insane from stress. Any suggestions, anything at all that you have to offer, is much appreciated. Because I just CAN'T anymore. I can't. YES she can and if she doesn't, she may wind up on CNN Headline news as either murdered by her angels OR a Moo killer of her own kids. Is a horrific ending really worth it just because she refused to take charge of a couple of toddlers? How HARD can it be? What suggestions did she hope for, I wonder? I am guessing by "...I also hope that some of you will take pity on this young mother" comment that she's really looking for udder rubs and "poor moo" comments more so than actual advice.:bedmadelie

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Has this woman never heard of Bourbon?

" too smart for their own good" = smarter than moo.

If they brats are only like that with her perhaps she should see what other people do (yell, spank, toss the kid in its pen?).